Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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KC in TX
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Posted: Aug 16 2006 at 10:45pm | IP Logged Quote KC in TX



Oh, my you all made my day. Thank you.

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MarieC
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Posted: Aug 17 2006 at 2:58am | IP Logged Quote MarieC

A makeup bag left in reach of a toddler can result in lipstick artwork on walls and carpet.

Spot Shot can remedy the situation but you will have lost a good deal of time scrubbing....and your favorite color of lipstick will be lost to you as they don't choose the color you bought by mistake but the color you love that's no longer being made!

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Alice R
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Posted: Aug 17 2006 at 11:01am | IP Logged Quote Alice R

Never leave a box of sanitary napkins by young children. They don't really make the best wall decorations.



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MEBarrett
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Posted: Aug 17 2006 at 12:46pm | IP Logged Quote MEBarrett

If you see a two-year old run past you carrying your cell phone, drop what you are doing immediately. Even if it is cutting up a raw chicken.

Cell phones make a fun sound when they drop into the toilet, don't ask me how I know this.

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MaryMary
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Posted: Aug 17 2006 at 1:13pm | IP Logged Quote MaryMary

"Fun Links" are not so fun when you have to fish them out of an "unflushed" toilet.

They are even less fun when you have to remove the entire toilet, and place it upside down in your backyard to retrieve the remaining "fun links" from the system.

They are downright no longer fun when your husband attempts to re-install said toilet, and cracks the porcelain when tightening the bolts, thereby necessitating the purchase of an ENTIRELY new "commode".

There wasn't a scratch on the "fun links" though...


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Sarah
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Posted: Aug 17 2006 at 1:52pm | IP Logged Quote Sarah

Don't leave freshly made chicken broth on the counter in ziplocs, cooling and waiting to be frozen. Your kids might take one a pretend its food they want to take on a "trip" and toss in to his brother to put in their "canoe". . .on carpeted stairs. . .And you know, it might pop on said stairs like a water balloon. . .and never come out. . .ever.

I'm also just saying. . .


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Dawnie
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Posted: Aug 17 2006 at 2:37pm | IP Logged Quote Dawnie

Sarah and Mary,



Here's another tip: When it's quiet, that means that you should drop what you are doing right away and check on the kids.

Dawn

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Kristi
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Posted: Aug 17 2006 at 4:59pm | IP Logged Quote Kristi

Never nurse the baby with your back to the two year old who is painting. "I'm shaving,Mama." Purple paint in the ears, up the nose, eyebrows, hair. Purple doesn't wash off completely. He looked bruised for a couple days. But if you do make this mistake, be sure to laugh and grab the camera.

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Philothea
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Posted: Aug 18 2006 at 8:45am | IP Logged Quote Philothea

While changing a baby boy, always keep one hand between the firehose and your face. Ask me how I know.   
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AnaB
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Posted: Aug 18 2006 at 10:03am | IP Logged Quote AnaB

Toothpaste and Desitin do no make good finger or body paint. Goldbond medicated baby powder after a 2 year old has played with toothpaste and desitin can help a 2 year old re-enact a scene from "tar baby" and set off allergies.

If you should find a 2 year old tar baby, do NOT scream in horror startling the 2 yr. old causing her to cling to you inconsolably while you are wearing the one nice outfit that fits you in your postpartum season and happens to be black, and while you are waiting for your neat freak parents to come babysit so that you can go out for your anniversary.

Never do this. If you do, make sure you use a vacuum with the filter LOCKED in place. You may end up doing alot of dusting for the next week if not.

Just a hypothetical situation....

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MEBarrett
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Posted: Aug 18 2006 at 10:53am | IP Logged Quote MEBarrett

Oh my goodness Ana. You are killing me, it still hurts my c-section to laugh so hard!!


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folklaur
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Posted: Aug 18 2006 at 11:57am | IP Logged Quote folklaur

....don't leave a curious four year old alone with tiny plastic flowers that she has used to decorate some art with. She may try to smell them. When they don't smell like anything, she may, for reasons only she understands, decide to shove the flowers up her nose. You may not know she has done this until weeks later, when the doctor fishes them out.....

...said daughter is now 16, and we still tease her about this one......
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Karen E.
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Posted: Aug 18 2006 at 12:20pm | IP Logged Quote Karen E.

I love all of these!

Here are a couple of mine:

Do not put your 14-month-old on the new white sectional sofa and let her run back and forth repeatedly when she has a bleeding toe. (Did you know that babywipes work well when used immediately on blood stains?)

Do not let your young child toss the bag of starter sourdough stuff on the counter without checking to see if it's been zip-locked shut. Because you just *know* it hasn't been.



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ALmom
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Posted: Aug 18 2006 at 1:01pm | IP Logged Quote ALmom

Do not let your youngest watch you plunge the toilet especially if the toilet plunger looks a whole lot like the dish mop that you use to wash dishes!

Do not let boys take a bath in a Jacuzzi without setting very strict time limit and rules. IF not - it becomes a swimming pool and all the bath water ends up on the ceiling and floor. We actually thought we had a roof leak for a while and couldn't figure out where in the world it was coming from.

Do not leave your husband on the roof with your spacey dd unless you want a heart attack. Actually know that dh is not likely to anticipate safety related or mess related events as you and be sure to inform him of all possible things dc might do in whatever situation. My dd started doing ballarina twirls on the top of the garage roof while said dh was doing some sort of maintenance work that she was supposedly going to help with. We were lucky, I freaked and couldn't even scream for fear that would scare them and make them fall off the roof.

Also when giving a command to a young boy - make sure it is very specific. I instructed my ds to stop jumping off our retaining wall. He gladly complied, I turned my back and he jumped out of a higher tree instead and broke his arm.

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wifemommy
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Posted: Aug 21 2006 at 9:26pm | IP Logged Quote wifemommy

Throw away the safety nail scissors that do not cut nails and under no circumstances leave them on a high dresser where one dd in a crib can reach them and then beautify her messy hair and her sister's hair in the next crib....and I thought we were getting a good nap before a family filled Thanksgiving Annie
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Bridget
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Posted: Aug 22 2006 at 8:36am | IP Logged Quote Bridget

I know this one is not unique.

When your toddler comes to you and says, "Big, big water, mom.", rush to the bathroom and grab some towels along the way. When you realize that the bathroom is flooded and he has used ALL the hand soap in the sink to make bubbles, all you can do is say a prayer for your septic system.

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Diane
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Posted: Aug 23 2006 at 1:57am | IP Logged Quote Diane

You know that it is time to get off the computer when your 2yo ds comes in and says, "Look at me, Mommy" and he has to say it about 5 times before you realize that he is standing next to you...stark naked.   

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Posted: Aug 28 2006 at 6:52am | IP Logged Quote StephanieA

Don't hand your son a terribly full disposable diaper filled by your toddler (10 years ago when they contained "pebbles"), hoping the son will throw it away in the wastebasket outside. More likely it will be tossed to your other son in your bedroom with such force that it explodes ALL over the bedroom....on the walls, ceiling, carpet....and it stinks :) and those pebbles were nearly IMPOSSIBLE to wipe up.
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StephanieA
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Posted: Aug 28 2006 at 6:55am | IP Logged Quote StephanieA

Alice R wrote:
Never leave a box of sanitary napkins by young children. They don't really make the best wall decorations.



Or leave them in the backseat of the van in reach while traveling on vacation. They don't make great window decorations
We were wondering why we were getting these strange stares as cars passed us by.
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saintanneshs
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Posted: Sept 02 2006 at 3:26pm | IP Logged Quote saintanneshs

These are fabulous!!

Okay, here's mine:

Don't let your 5yo offer to cut open the new plastic bag of baby diapers with his new school scissors. Do not let him out of your sight, say, in the nursery where the diapers go, with said scissors which he will forget to put away. You might find your 3yo victim of a self-induced scalping that afternoon.

And don't let your dh attempt to rectify the situation with the 3yo by buzzing the 3yo's hair with the clippers...said 3yo will love it and both he and his brothers will think it's the coolest haircut he's ever had.

Oh, and do not EVER expect little boys to see a mud puddle and let you know that they've spotted one. Apparently, finding it is much more fun if said puddle isn't on Mom's radar and you are NOT on a nature walk. Furthermore, don't expect them to stay out of it, even after repeated discussions on the subject. And don't expect any alliance with the child's grandmothers on this mud-puddle-battle. Said grandmothers will watch your child discover and explore mud puddles with glee, all unbeknownst to you, and then giggle while you try to clean up the mess. This is especially true on special occasions when nice clothes and shoes are involved and there will be family photos at some point... say graduations, weddings, holidays, etc.




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