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MicheleQ
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| Posted: July 15 2006 at 10:35am | IP Logged
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Elizabeth,
Both blog entries were really lovely and truly inspiring. I can relate to so much of what you wrote. I too am always talking to my girls about being ladylike. But though you didn't mention it (or I missed it being only semi-awake this morning) I would guess that, like me, you find this more of a challenge because you have a house full of boys? 
You wondered if "the culture has so lost the femininity of its female teenagers because they were never taught as little girls how wonderful it is to be a lady?" I would say yes and it's been a long time coming. I am sure the reason so many of us women struggle with this is that it wasn't taught to us either. While there were some things that I picked up as a child and understood to be the way a lady behaved there were most certainly things that were left out. Like so many others I lived in a pretty dysfunctional family that was mostly due to my father's alcoholism. We were in survival mode much of the time and my mother often suffered from depression. Additionally her own childhood was very difficult (when she was just 6 weeks old her own mother died of TB and she was shuffled around from family member to family member, never really feeling wanted.) and there were so many of these things that she didn't learn either. When she wasn't depressed she learned to be tough and independent. It didn't help, in fact I'm sure it hurt, that all this was in the hay day of the feminist movement. Women were told to be strong and take care of themselves and for a lot of women femininity was tossed out the window. And we, the girls who grew up around all that, have suffered as a result.
I do think that elegant simplicity in our homes in a great step in the direction of reviving femininity as well as the discussions we've had about dress and modesty. One of the things I have starting doing again is wearing a veil for mass. I wore one for years but stopped for a while for various reasons. About 6 months ago my dh asked me if I would start wearing it again so I did. My girls then asked if they could wear one too so I made them each one (complete with sewn in clips so it actually stays on their heads!), sometimes we wear hats (though mostly for holidays like Easter and Christmas). Please understand, I don't think it's is necessary but for us it's another reminder of who we are (daughters of the King, women of Christ, ladies) and it helps us remember to act ladylike. A few other women in the parish have started wearing veils and/or hats too. Not as a "must" but also as a reach towards being more feminine.
By the way, a book I would highly recommend on Catholic femininity is Alice von Hildebrand's
The Privilege of Being a Woman. It's a small book and a fairly quick read but really beautiful. it has been particularly helpful to me in being more feminine.
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Michele Quigley
wife to my prince charming and mom of 10 in Lancaster County, PA USA
http://michelequigley.com
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: July 15 2006 at 10:43am | IP Logged
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Elizabeth recently wrote something about utilizing this message board to it's full-extent.
I've added some threads to maxamize discussion, share our ideas, and to encourage and motivate one another:
Elegant Simplicity in the Kitchen
Elegant Simplicity in the Living Area
Elegant Simplicity in the Bedroom
With the school year (which includes all the sport schedules and dance classes and co-op classes, etc.) beginning, now is the perfect time to get a perspective of our home surroundings and how we can best keep that "Elegant Simplicity" that sounds so grand but seems to evade us in the mist of our large, happy homes.
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
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Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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JennGM
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| Posted: July 22 2006 at 10:20am | IP Logged
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I keep meaning to post these. Last week these were featured in our diocesan paper and I thought they were right up this discussion:
Pope urges thousands of families in Valencia to create loving homes.
The other article was on St. Martha, patron saint for housekeepers, but it's not online. Thomas J. Craughwell has some great write-ups on the saints.
Today is the feast of St. Mary Magdalen and the 29th is the feast of St. Martha. With these two saints we see the balance we need to strive for in our homes.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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Elizabeth
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| Posted: July 25 2006 at 5:04am | IP Logged
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I want to report that Molly Smith has gotten the hang of simple Elegance! We went to visit yesterday. And I had taken Katie (3) out of the pool and into the house to go to bathroom.
Katie: This is so cool!
Me: What, the pool?
Katie: No, the Smith kids don't have to do any chores!
Me: What do you mean? I know they do chores.
Katie: (with solemn certainty): No, they don't. Their house is so clean and pretty they don't have anything to do!
OTOH, when the children were all playing a game that required them to say something "you bring into the house" my nine-year-old daughter volunteered "dirt."
It was very, very nice to visit Elegant simplicity!
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Jess
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| Posted: July 25 2006 at 7:38pm | IP Logged
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I think "elegant simplicity" is what I strive for too. I recently decluttered and had a garage sale and got a lot of extra furniture out of the house. We had always kept this extra furniture (given by family) because we thought that someday we would have a bigger house and might need it. But in reality it was just cluttering up our small home and making it feel smaller. I was able to make a school area and a comfy seating area in the living room and seriously declutter my kitchen (which was the school room). Next I plan to paint both bathrooms and the kitchen. We have lived here for 4 years and I am tired of the bright colors and ready for softer more elegant colors. Donna Marie, your post was truely inspiring and I will read it often to remind myself of what I want my home to be.
My poor dh though, I did all this after he left so he won't recognize the place when he gets home, but I'm sure he'll like it too. The clutter bothered him too. Our house seems so much more spacious now, except the bedrooms (but I'm trying to figure out what to do there.)
God bless,
Jess
+JMJ+
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Molly Smith
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| Posted: July 26 2006 at 5:06am | IP Logged
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Here's the very cool thing about this thread, aside from that it has gotten me off my rear and completely charged up my nesting urges, once you start making the changes life gets easier. I know that's a horribly general statement, but it has been the case here. Things have a home, or have found their way to the trash or goodwill, so the stuff isn't re-accumulating. Elizabeth, I literally had to do nothing to prepare for your arrival--usually I would have scrambled around to make sure everything looked nice, but it was all the same as it was the day before and continued to be the day after. And it's ALL thanks to this highly motivating thread (and its off-shoots)!!
Now, once you leave the main level, all bets are off ! I hope we'll be able to achieve the same sort of effect in the kids' rooms, and so far we're on track with the boys' room. It's so much harder when clothes and toys are involved--is it possible to have "elegant simplicity" in a child's room? Hmmm...has that thread been started yet?
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Bridget
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| Posted: July 26 2006 at 5:26am | IP Logged
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Molly Smith wrote:
-is it possible to have "elegant simplicity" in a child's room? Hmmm...has that thread been started yet? |
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Oh I hope so! We were camping last week so I'm catching up on all the discussions. This one is awesome!
I'm tackling the kids bedrooms this week. Oddly enough, they are not impressed with the concept of elegant simplicity.
However, they are impressed with scripture or the catechism. I need to find some back up there.
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God Bless,
Bridget, happily married to Kevin, mom to 8 on earth and a small army in heaven
Our Magnum Opus
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teachingmyown
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| Posted: July 27 2006 at 7:34pm | IP Logged
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I was wondering about Elegant Simplicity in the area that you school in, especially if you do not have a separate "school room"?
When we moved into our wonderful new house, my husband requested that the main level not look like seven kids live here. Part of that, was no maps or white boards on the dining room wall or cheap plastic bins full of anything and everything.
I still want my kids to have those maps and white boards and can't afford lots of nice (read expensive) storage solutions for the papers and crayons, books, etc.
I don't have another area for these things, yet. So, until I get my school room that I dream of, how do I strike a balance between functional homeschooling decor and Simple Elegance?
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: July 27 2006 at 7:40pm | IP Logged
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Molly,
Don't you have a basement? is it finished?
I'd really love to see you start a blog.
From a Louisianian who longs to have a finished basement! <sigh> and who can---almost safely---say she'll never have one. 
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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lapazfarm
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| Posted: July 27 2006 at 9:11pm | IP Logged
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Molly,
Just brainstorming here, but what about maps that pull down (like blinds) tucked under valances. Whiteboards that are attached to the inside of cabinet doors, or that pull out from behind a cabinet or couch? Craft supplies stored in under the bed boxes, hidden by bedskirts? Or in pretty photo storage boxes on bookshelves? Art supplies in a rolling cart that hides in a closet when not in use? I am sure there are other ways you could have a schoolroom that packs up well before dh comes home.
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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Erin
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Molly
I'm for cupboards, timber ones look nice. Often you can find ones at garage sales, sometimes it may need stripping back, then you can store your craft, toys, school records etc in there.
I have a friend who has even converted a couple of cupboards to hide her computer in, and her tv, video player etc
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Erin
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Erin
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Molly Smith wrote:
| It's so much harder when clothes and toys are involved--is it possible to have "elegant simplicity" in a child's room? Hmmm...has that thread been started yet? |
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Molly
Can their toys go elsewhere in the house? I've taken all toys out so they only have clothes and of course books Makes it all so much easier to keep clean. They do have a couple of precious toys but no more clutter 
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Molly Smith
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| Posted: July 28 2006 at 5:10am | IP Logged
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Erin wrote:
| Can their toys go elsewhere in the house? I've taken all toys out so they only have clothes and of course books Makes it all so much easier to keep clean. They do have a couple of precious toys but no more clutter |
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I did that with the boys not too long ago, and now they only have legos in their room that fit nicely in under-the-bed boxes. It helps tremendously in their room. I hadn't done it in the girls' room, largely because they can clean it all up in a scramble when I ask them too. However, I think now it's too big of a burden on them and me, but it honestly hadn't occurred to me to move their toys out of their room . Thanks for the reminder!!
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Molly Smith in VA
Mom to seven beautiful children, ages 1-14
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teachingmyown
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Cay Gibson wrote:
Molly,
Don't you have a basement? is it finished?
I'd really love to see you start a blog.
From a Louisianian who longs to have a finished basement! <sigh> and who can---almost safely---say she'll never have one.
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Cay,
I do have a finished basement. It has the toy room and tv area and is lined with bookshelves. I had my computer down there, but it is cold and I could never hear what was going on in the rest of the house.
Don't hold your breath for a blog from me! I think my children would rise up and revolt if I spent one more minute on the computer!
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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Erin
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| Posted: July 29 2006 at 12:16am | IP Logged
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I have just spent a wonderful morning creating order out of chaos in our dining room. Our sewing/ handcraft materials are stored in an old sideboard cupboard.
I had a lovely BIG garbage bag full of materials to donate/toss. I figured if I hadn't of used it in 14 yrs I wasn't going to. I did keep some materials, but not much. Dh walks in and starts rummaging through the bag, 'What you're not going to throw this are you? It's good material and could come in handy'. I sweetly (maybe I wasn't so sweet) explained to him that it wasn't being used so it was going. 'Remember I was striving for elegance and simplicity and he wasn't helping'. But he assured me he could use it, he was going to sew something with it.' 'What' I demanded, if he could tell me his project and justify it he could have it. No clear answer was forthcoming. I went shopping and when I came home the entire bag was missing, yes, the entire garbage bag. Aided and abetted by dd12 he has hidden it somewhere.  Dd who was happily throwing until he mentioned there could be a use. I shall find it though.
Any solutions? 
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Erin
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lapazfarm
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Erin, no solutions, but I'm sorry that is hilarious!
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Theresa
us-schooling in beautiful Fairbanks, Alaska.
LaPaz Home Learning
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Cici
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Erin,
Are your dh and mine long lost twins? I am forever getting ready to toss things when he says "you're not getting rid of that are you?", "but the kids play with that" (could be true - maybe they played with it 3 months ago for maybe 1 minute), and my personal favorite, "But I can (we can) use that when..." 
Anymore, I reply "yes I am. No they don't. We'll buy another one if we ever need it again.", toss it and immediately take it out to the trash. AND - I do most of my decluttering/cleaning out when nobody is around (and take it to the trash before anyone has a chance to spy the contents of the garbabe bag. Otherwise, we'd be over run with stuff!
ETA: I wanted you to know this is a running joke between dh and I - I started to feel I left the wrong impression...
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Erin
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| Posted: July 31 2006 at 2:53am | IP Logged
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Cici,
I truly think they must be brothers I've heard 'but the kids play with that' too. We have a rack of timber in our yard for when we 'move to the country,' its been there for ten years.
I think you and I may be sisters I normally try the when 'he is away approach', however he is around all the time at the moment (another story).
What tendencies do your children show? Mine are very good about their bedrooms, they de-clutter well there. But like their daddy they see endless potential for the yard 'junk'. Last time I attacked the yard I was merrily filling the trailer with great success.  But I couldn't understand why it seemed to be not as full as it should. Dc and dh were sneaking back up one side of the house with their 'saves' while I was trudging up the other side with more 'junk'
One positive note is that dh never complains about all the amount of 'stuff' that we keep in the name of edcuation.
Btw- I certainly took it as a running joke, mine was meant the same too. In fact I showed dh my post and he had a very good laugh at himself. Still haven't found that missing bag though.
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Erin
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Elegant Simplicity
