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Jen L.
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| Posted: July 07 2006 at 10:35pm | IP Logged
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I turned 40 this year and we so want at least one more. It's been 5 1/2 long years. I have no advice, but I am praying for you!
Blessings,
Jen
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Jen
dh Klete,ds (8/95),dd (12/97), dd (11/00), and ^2^ in heaven
"...the best state in which to glorify God is our actual state; the best grace is that of the moment..." St. Peter Eymard
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MichelleW
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| Posted: July 08 2006 at 5:00am | IP Logged
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JennGM wrote:
But how about your husband's dream? How much convincing/explaining/talking/praying to get him to understand medically, emotionally, and spiritually to get on the same plain? I don't want to be leading...how does one do this together? |
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What a truly beautiful question. How does one do this together? Really, the only way I have ever found is by praying together, talking, praying apart, talking, praying together, talking,.... I guess I don't often try to convince dh of things, because I am rarely completely convinced that I am right. Instead, I try to be as honest with him as I can be about my feelings, about my sense of any given situation, and we pray. I do find that because I talk about my feelings pretty often, when I am serious and want to make sure he is hearing me I need to get his attention and make clear that this is not just me processing, this is me attempting to communicate my Feelings.
You are so right to want to do this together. I am adding that to my prayers for you.
JennGM wrote:
Dh is 42 and I'm 39--are we too old for adoption? That's my next fear... |
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This is a legitimate fear, but I want encourage you. If the Lord is truly calling you to adoption, then He has in mind a child for you to adopt. Your ages may close certain doors, but they will open others. As you go through the process other concerns will close even more doors. This is good, you don't want to adopt all the kids that are up for adoption. The field needs to be narrowed and the Lord uses circumstances to do the narrowing.
I am praying for peace for you. May the peace of God which passes all understanding guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus.
Michelle
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aussieannie
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| Posted: July 08 2006 at 3:46pm | IP Logged
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Dear Jenn,
My heart goes out to you, my only sister suffers infertility and has no children at present, I see her pain every day and feel yours here in this thread.
I like to second this quote:
kingvosso wrote:
| The NFP board at EWTN talks often about Napro Technology, which is in complete accord with the Church's teaching, and is designed for couples experiencing infertility. |
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If you are able to see this as a way of improving your general health situation first and foremost, since early menopause is not something we would wish for good health either. What comes, by God's grace after that, will be in His hands. It shouldn't necessarily interfere with going ahead with adoption plans either?
Women who are infertile use the Naprotechnology (my sister is slowly working through all the investigative paths) and also women who have miscarriages receive help (a close friend is seeing the same doctor my sister sees, and she is due soon after many, many miscarriages.)
I think if you can explore all options but at the same time - in your heart and mind, leave the ultimate journey of your life in His hands - it would then be in His hands completely, as to where He will lead you.
I will say, that there is always beautiful, surprising stories - I have one too. A 48 year old friend who started homeschooling just this year, who has three late-teen daughters and a 10 year old son, is now 5months pregnant with a baby. She had medical problems, and had been told after her last baby that it was a medical impossibility to have any more children (don't know what that medical problem was.) Such as surprising story because MOST would not be able to have children at that age I would presume, except the very fertile maybe.
Someone's advise about a double novena to St Anne sounds wonderful - the idea of a double novena I had not thought of at present, so I will start and will be remembering you amongst my intentions.
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Under Her Starry Mantle
Spiritual Motherhood for Priests
Blessed with 3 boys & 3 girls!
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mumofsix
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| Posted: July 08 2006 at 7:18pm | IP Logged
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Dear Jenn,
I can only share a few brief ideas as I have blessing #5 cuddled up on my lap! I decided in my twenties not to pursue infertility treatment, even though my consultant was very keen to treat me as I had no obvious problems and he thought fertility drugs would be a great idea. I also decided quickly against using nfp. My reasons? I wanted to see what God's plan was. I figured he knew how babies were made and could give me one the usual way if he wanted to. I did not want my husband to feel instrumentalised or any future adopted children feel second best as the result of a long and protracted infertility investigation or years of nfp obsession.
I must say I have no regrets. This lovely boy who is cuddling me right now had no-one until we stepped forward for him. For various reasons he was hard to place and his birth mum was getting frantic as her due date approached and no-one came forward for her baby. I wonder how God felt about that, this most precious son with no-one to realise how wonderfully made he was. I cannot find words to express how privileged I feel to be the one chosen for this boy who is EVERYTHING I have ever wanted, my pearl beyond any price. I gladly sacrifice carrying a pregnancy to term for him: I would die for him, frankly. And I have five more! Btw, I was 48 when I adopted him and he is doing really, really well. My tears were turned to joy, and so will yours be. Believe in His love for you, Jenn.
Jane.
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Rebecca
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| Posted: July 08 2006 at 9:49pm | IP Logged
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Jenn,
No advice here. I just wanted you to know that I am praying for you and that I care  .
Love,
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Dawnie
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| Posted: July 09 2006 at 12:05am | IP Logged
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Jenn,
Another resource you might consider is Fertility, Cycles, and Nutrition by Marilyn Shannon. (The link takes you to all the nutrition and cookbooks CCL sells; scroll down and you'll see it.)
I wanted to add that at times God answers our prayers through natural means. I have a dear friend who has suffered from infertility. She and her husband were hoping for a honeymoon baby. She was diagnosed with PCOS and conceived 3 1/2 years after the wedding. At the time she conceived, she had been attending Weight Watchers and lost about 16 pounds. After her daughter was born, she went back to Weight Watchers and lost more weight. With the help of Clomid, she conceived a second time and now has a little baby boy. She has told me that she believes that the Weight Watchers diet and losing the weight really made the difference. Of course, God has the power to heal my friend in a miraculous way, but He has worked through more natural means to allow her to have children.
Dawn
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Mom to Mary Beth (99), Anna (02), Lucia (04), Clara (06), and Adelaide Victoria (2/28/09)
Visit my blog!Water Into Wine:Vino Per Tutto!
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StephanieA
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| Posted: July 09 2006 at 7:22am | IP Logged
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<Dh is 42 and I'm 39--are we too old for adoption? That's my next fear...>
My neighbors just adopted 2 more girls from China.They were 8 and 10. They have 3 biological children and 6 adopted ones. She is 56. He is near 60. Their family is a wonderful mixture of South American, North American, Indian, and Asian children. But because of their age, the agency said they will no longer be able to adopt. My brother and sister-in-law are both 51 and are on a list to adopt a child, but not an infant, unless God thinks otherwise. They would like a 4-5 year old. My grandparents were both 45 when they adopted my mother as an infant. My cousin and his wife will be 40 when they bring home their first child through adoption.
My mother had her last child when she was 48 and Dad was 50. I am expecting, and I'm 42 and dh is 47. My mother-in-law was 43 when she had Patti, my sister-in-law. She is Down's, but how could we love Patti any other way? Please don't let this bother you. Patti is a gift as is every child from God.
Don't let your age deter you. Be open to children at any time. Be open to God's calling and if he is calling you to adopt, you can investigate so many different options. My prayers are with you.
Blessings,
Stephanie
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