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Bookswithtea
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My fertility is returning (even without charts, I know the signs) and I am going to be 36 this summer.
I've nursed through all my pregnancies, at least till 6-7 mos pregnant, and we've always used cnm's (in hospital) or licensed midwives (homebirth).
If the Lord chooses to bless us with a sixth child, I am nervous about a few things. I am wondering if its still healthy to do the same kinds of things I've done before, given older eggs, older tired-er mom, etc.
My current baby is 14 mos. and an active nurser with a hearty appetite for table foods, too. Even the thought of having to wean him exhausts me, though. It would definitely mean crying fits and sleepless nights. But if its really not a good idea to nurse through another pregnancy, I'm wondering if I should cut him back some, now...I know there are no guarantees that we will conceive, but being nauseous and having to wean sounds like a nightmare to me.
All of my previous choices of birth attendants are no longer available. That feels weird to me. I was used to working with the same folks for quite awhile. My choices now are cnm's with a more hospitally perspective (my last cnm told me that seeing them was really no different from seeing an ob...unfortunately, she has moved on to teaching and is no longer delivering babies) or an OB. The upside of the OB option is that he is an nfp-only devout Catholic with 6 kids of his own.  The downside is he is a man  an OB.  I've never had a man deliver a baby or even do an exam on me.
I know I'm a neurotic planner and worrier by nature and I'm looking further ahead than is necessary. Nonetheless, I'd be grateful for any wisdom and advice y'all could offer. I'm very nervous this time around...not only about being older, but also because I feel tired so much more often than I used to and well...6 children when I am well rested sounds wonderful, but 6 children when I am tired and up with both my 1 yr old and my 3 yr old who are refusing to sleep sounds scarey.
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mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and  due 9/10
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LisaD
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I am under the impression that if you are able to continue marital relations throughout pregnancy, with no risk of pre-term labor, then you can safely nurse through pregnancy with no risk of pre-term labor. I was 35 when I nursed through my entire pregnancy and beyond, 37 when I nursed half-way through a pregnancy before my child self-weaned, and the same again at 40.
I know many a 35 years+ mom who has nursed through pregancies without a problem.
I know what you mean about feeling older and more tired. The only advice I can give you is make sure you are eating really, really well. Highly nutritious foods, limit the caffeine (I finally gave it up and I feel much better), and rest whenever possible (yeah, I know, ha ha).
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Bookswithtea
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Thank you so much. I've never heard this before:
***I am under the impression that if you are able to continue marital relations throughout pregnancy, with no risk of pre-term labor, then you can safely nurse through pregnancy with no risk of pre-term labor.***
That is encouraging.
I cut out caffeine about a year ago (except for chocolate, of course!) so that's not a problem. By eating really really well, are you thinking about a higher protein diet? I've never really reached for the 100 grams of protein the Brewer diet recommends, but maybe it wouldn't be such a bad idea, along with lots and lots of fresh produce?
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~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
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Elizabeth
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If you've never had a problem nursing through pregnancy, I don't think you will have one. My pregnancy at 36 was one of my easiest and healthiest and I nursed all the way through.
I think it's important to get plenty of protein (though the Brewer's requirement may be a bit high), plenty of fresh vegetables, a good B complex supplement and an essential fatty acid supplement.
And then, there's sleep...you really do need that  .I'm not sure that your increased fatigue isn't more a factor of the increased workload and increased likelihood of someone needing you, whatever the hour, than it is your age. I remember napping when my little ones napped, back when all I had was little ones. Now, I find myself sacrificing naptime to cover all my academic bases. I just can't get everybody's everything finished before lunchtime .
Try to strategize some sleeping solutions. We'll try to help you think on it.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Christine
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If you plan to nurse throughout a pregnancy, be sure you are drinking plenty of water.
I usually wean as soon as I find out that I am pregnant by telling the toddler, "Nummy (or Numma) is all gone". The only time that I continued to nurse during a pregnancy, I miscarried at nineteen weeks with no answers as to why. I have since done quite a bit of research and wondered whether dehydration may have been the underlying cause. Somewhere I read that the majority of miscarriages are caused by dehydration. I know that I felt dizzy for weeks before my miscarriage (a sign of dehydration).
I was nervous about weaning my last child, as he seemed to like nursing more than any of my other children (pulling on my shirt, etc). I increased his food and liquid intake and he started nursing only for naps, bedtime, and once during the night. After about a week, I told him that it was all gone and surprisingly he didn't cry or scream. He occasionally asked in a sweet way, but I always responded that it was all gone. As I was weaning him, I also increased the amount of attention that I had been giving him.
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Dawnie
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There is no medical evidence that nursing during pregnancy is related to miscarriage. I read somewhere (I think in Mothering Your Nursing Toddler) that in all the years La Leche League has been around, no one has noticed an increased rate of miscarriage among La Leche League members, many of whom nurse during pregnancy. La Leche League was founded in 1956, so surely an increased rate of miscarriage among its members would have become obvious by now.
Also, isn't all the hype about having babies over 35 kind of overblown? These statistics may be helpful:
In reference to Down's Syndrome,
At maternal age 30, 99.9% of babies do not have it.
At maternal age 36, 99.6% of babies do not have it.
At maternal age 40, 99.1% of babies do not have it.
(Wilke, Abortion Questions and Answers, 1988)
Dawn
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jdostalik
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Dear Books,
I have nursed through all my pregnancies (well, except the first one!) and though I have to agree with you, nursing while nauseated is no picnic, (I'm suffering through that right now!), it has always been worth it to me to continue...everyone is different though...I have a dear friend who is very similar to me in her parenting style, but she always lovingly weans when she finds out she is pregnant...just don't want you to fear the nursing during pregnancy option...
I also have to say that after my miscarriage (a chromosomal problem unrelated completely to my nursing) in February, there was nothing more comforting to me than being able to nurse my 14 month old and cuddle with her--it really helped me heal.
BTW, I am 40 now and have not noticed it being harder nursing this go around!
God bless you and you'll be in my prayers!
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Jennifer in TX
wife to Bill, mom to six here on earth and eight in heaven.
Let the Little Ones Come
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Katie
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I just wanted to add that I think 36 is very young! Also, if it comes to it, you may find your little one notices a change in the taste of the milk and chooses to wean anyway. this happened to me once. Once I nursed through much of a pregnancy, and once I weaned because I was too nauseous to nurse!
I know the idea of a male doctor is hard, but I would choose the OB over the cnm's in the hospital, especially if he is sympathetic to the kind of childbirth experience you would prefer. All the male OB's I have seen have been caring, professional, and it wasn't weird at all. I try and have dh with me the first few times to put me at my ease.
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Bookswithtea
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Well, I'm encouraged.  Maybe pregnancy over 35 isn't as much different as I think it might be, although I really have noticed a difference in my energy level between my earlier and my later pregnancies.
***And then, there's sleep...you really do need that .I'm not sure that your increased fatigue isn't more a factor of the increased workload and increased likelihood of someone needing you, whatever the hour, than it is your age. I remember napping when my little ones napped, back when all I had was little ones. Now, I find myself sacrificing naptime to cover all my academic bases. I just can't get everybody's everything finished before lunchtime .***
Yeah...that's probably true. I often feel behind and find myself sacrificing sleep either during quiet time or late in the evening when I can get something done without being interrupted. I've been thinking lately that my new school schedules need to take into account the reality of our day to day life more than they used to. Its tiring to be mothering a teen, middlies and an active toddler. Adding in pregnancy nausea and tiredness will be a real challenge, if the Lord blesses.
I really don't want to wean. I've never weaned this early before. I'd like him to have the added health benefits that extended nursing provides. Maybe what I need to do is start taking vitamins more diligently.
Katie, I hadn't thought about taking dh with me the first few times. That's a good idea. I guess I can talk with him about the things that are important to me in an l and d experience and see what he thinks...
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mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
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ALmom
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I nursed through all of my pregnancies and many of them well over your age. I am 46 now so I was at least into my 40s and still nursing through pregnancies. Yes, I did pay attention to my diet,(protein and leafy greens were my big helps plus making sure I got plenty of plain old water).
I have carried pregnancies to term and also miscarried. My miscarriages had no known cause but we always suspected some hormonal problems. After the first miscarriage I consulted with Doc and midwife about the nursing as I was afraid it might have caused a problem (when you don't have any real answers, you really look for them). The long and the short of it was that if it was hormonal, then the worst thing I could do was change my nursing pattern in that 1st trimester. It was better to keep doing whatever I was doing. I bled and nursed through one pregnancy that I carried to term. Rest was probably the most important factor next to diet. I think you will find that your own body will tell you what is best. It was such a comfort to have a nursing toddler when I miscarried. I do not know if I would have been emotionally up to meeting their needs without the nursing. I always had huge hormonal type swings after miscarriages and pretty wiped out - but it wasn't the nursing.
Janet
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Bookswithtea
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ALmom wrote:
| My miscarriages had no known cause but we always suspected some hormonal problems. ... It was such a comfort to have a nursing toddler when I miscarried. I do not know if I would have been emotionally up to meeting their needs without the nursing. I always had huge hormonal type swings after miscarriages and pretty wiped out - but it wasn't the nursing. |
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I had two unexplained miscarriages between my first and second. I really do know what you mean about it being a comfort to nurse when grieving the loss. It eased the emptiness just a little bit.
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Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
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Meredith
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Well, this isn't about nursing through a pregnancy, but I was pregnant and birthed my fourth baby just before I turned 40 and it was a dream pregnancy, much easier than my third at 37. I wish I had some more advice , but if you feel good, go for it! Best wishes!
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Meredith
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JennGM
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Books, I started with my first child at age 36. It's harder starting out at this age, than doing it again with experience on your side!
Keep taking prenatals and folic acid before you get pregnant.
Our priest today pointed out that 365 times in the Bible is the message "Be Not Afraid." With God we can do all things!
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Jennifer G. Miller
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Bookswithtea
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JennGM wrote:
Our priest today pointed out that 365 times in the Bible is the message "Be Not Afraid." With God we can do all things! |
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I need to glue that on my forehead. My biggest struggle is always with fear. Thanks for the reminder, Jenn. I needed it.
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Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
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Christine
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Jenn's post reminded me of the fact that several of the moms in our homeschool group have given birth in their 40s. One of them told me that her last pregnancy was actually her easiest. I was speaking with a pregnant friend and mother of a large family, yesterday, and she told me that she is 44. She is due at the end of July and looks great. This friend's mother was married at 30 and went on to have 12 children!
I hope that no one thought that I was implying a connection between nursing and miscarriage. I was trying to emphasize the importance of drinking lots of liquids. Finding the time to drink a glass of water is something that I am finding myself struggling with currently.
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Christine
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Suzy
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I nursed through my seventh pregnancy at 41, (turning 42 three weeks after baby was born) tandem nursed for two or so years and am currently pregnant at 44 and am still nursing. The five year old (she'll be six in two weeks) weaned about nine months ago. Thankfully! 
I'm hoping my son who will be three when this baby is born in December won't want to continue nursing for years but we'll see. I joke that I will still be a nursing mom at 50! (It might not be a joke, with my kids track record and seeing I'll be 45 when this baby is born.)
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time4tea
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Wow! What a help this thread has been to me! Like you, Books, my biggest struggle is also always with fear. Thanks, everyone, for your encouraging and insightful posts here! Dawn, I really appreciated the statistics you listed. So often you are made to feel that over 35 you are not capable of either a healthy pregnancy or healthy baby.
Blessings to you all!
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Blessings to you!
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Dawnie
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time4tea wrote:
| Dawn, I really appreciated the statistics you listed. So often you are made to feel that over 35 you are not capable of either a healthy pregnancy or healthy baby. |
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Yes, it really makes me mad that some doctors are telling women that they have a "4 times greater risk" of having a baby w/ Down's Syndrome after age 35, in an effort to scare them, basically...Well, yes, the risk is 4 times greater...4 x .1%=.4%! That's still pretty darn low! So often, the statistics are just used as a scare tactic and women aren't being told the whole story...
Dawn
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stacykay
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I can't add anything to the nursing advice here, only to add that I nursed while pregnant with 6th ds, who was born when I was 41.
One thing, your concern about the lack of available midwife, ob, and hospital- and this has nothing to do with age, but by #6 (and two miscarriages  ,) my uterus was so stretched out, that ds loved to lay sideways. By delivery, he decided to flip, but with a footling presentation. So, I wound up with a c-sxn (rather quick one as the cord prolapsed.) I was grateful we were at the hospital. And he was fine!
As far as the ob, and male, I have had four of the sixdelivered by men (actually, the second should have been by my female doc, but she let the male resident do the delivery as she looked over his shoulder and chatted with her anesthesia friend, who had poked her head in the room just as I was pushing! I never went back to her.) I now have a wonderful female family doc, for the regular visits.
God Bless,
Stacy in MI
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dsauclair
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This group of ladies is pretty amazing! I have taken much comfort in reading about your experiences and your advice. I don't feel so alone and weird now, the only one in my neighborhood moms' group, who wants to have more children--and at age 41, about 10 years older than everyone!
I have also nursed through my pregnancies (at ages 36 and 38), and did fine. My male OB (Doc B, whom y'all prayed for last year) exudes such peace that I have not felt unsure when he's in charge. In fact, when I had an appendectomy on the 5th month of my pregnancy, he was right there with the surgeon so he can "check" on my girl in utero! Before I passed out, my last memory was of Doc B praying
I feel so blessed to be part of this group. Thanks!
--Diane
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Over 35 questions fertility questions...
