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ALmom
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| Posted: June 23 2006 at 3:28am | IP Logged
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One hint - to make the early AM Mass, have everyone lay out clothes the night before so you are not doing a last minute scrounge. We also have water and snack in the car for children not old enough to receive. They don't do as well hungry - but good snack tides them over till breakfast after Mass. We are generally not early risers (except dh), but for Mass it does make a huge difference. If we go to the 11:00 Mass, we have lots more trouble!
Janet.
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Dawnie
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| Posted: June 24 2006 at 12:08am | IP Logged
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My second baby was very fussy, too. I would have been glad to nurse her non-stop, but when she was in one of her moods, she just wanted to suck, and when my milk let down, she'd scream like crazy. She found her thumb when she was 2 months old and is still sucking it (she's 4 now!).
When she was a few months old, I found that she was sensitive to cow's milk products in my diet. If I had anything with milk in it, she was fussy. If I didn't, she was much better. I had to avoid ALL forms of cow's milk, including the very scientific-sounding additives that are in a lot of processed foods. Oh, and fast food french fries have cow's milk in them, too. It was hard, but the baby was so much more pleasant when I avoided cow's milk. I think some babies are just fussy no matter what, but it may be worth it to take a look at your diet and see if you think she may be reacting to something you're eating. Cow's milk is one of the most common allergens, which is why I tried eliminating it first.
Good luck! Things will get better. She'll be a toddler in a year!
Dawn
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momwise
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| Posted: June 24 2006 at 10:59pm | IP Logged
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My dh never goes to mass. I've routinely let the under 5 child stay home from Sun. with dad from time to time. After the birth of my dd I didn't get to mass for 3 weeks. I asked godparents to pick up the communicants and they were happy to do so. The rest stayed home.
Believe me, there will always be someone watching, whether you do it this way or that. I left (then) 5yo with dad one Sunday and another mom commented how well behaved the children were. So I commented that I'd left the younger child home with dad and she said, "Well, I don't have that luxury."  Noooo........that's because her dh went to mass with her!
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Martha
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| Posted: June 25 2006 at 10:13am | IP Logged
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Update!
We made it to the 8am mass today without a single hitch or fuss! Yippee! We even had breakfast (poptarts  )before going.
I had never been to the 8am mass before at our parish and it was VERY quiet! No procession. No music at all. I think it made it much easier for the kids to focus on the mass and impressed upon them the need for quiet and stillness more. We had all 8 in the pew without a single bit of problem through the entire mass! We'll have to do this again to see if it's a fluke or not though. 
And now peace time is over and Bridget is screaming her head off, so I've got to get back to mommy work!
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momwise
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| Posted: June 25 2006 at 3:57pm | IP Logged
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I just wanted to come back and add a couple of things. I was thinking how ironic it is that just as demons are attacking and making it seem impossible to get to mass, the Sacrifice of the mass and reception of the Holy Eucharist are the very things needed to overcome these temptations and discouragements.
Many, many times I've been tempted throughout the years since my "reversion" to skip it by thoughts of "What good does it do anyway," "It isn't worth the trouble," "Nobody in this family cares anyway," etc.,etc. I have learned through a lot of suffering that Sunday is the day the devil loves most to put to ruin.
The immediate graces the Blessed Mother has to pour out are the most effective for this, along with calling out to the Holy Spirit for immediate help. It took me a really long time to learn this  . Those graces need to be asked for and are momentary, but when we remember them, they are hugely helpful.
I think the early mass idea is great. There is no doubt that no matter how serious the reason for missing mass on Sunday, we always have more peace if we make it. And dc need to see that no matter what the obstacles, it is worth it to find a way.
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Gwen...wife for 30 years, mom of 7, grandma of 3.....
"If you want equal justice for all and true freedom and lasting peace, then America, defend life." JPII
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ALmom
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| Posted: June 25 2006 at 4:45pm | IP Logged
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So glad that Sunday went well. What you described is the very thing we have noticed. Because the early Mass is quieter, less crowded and generally more reverent, our babies and toddlers do better there. After all, they learn primarily through example. If I could get to the Shrine every week, I'm sure behaviour would be even better (but we cannot drive 1 hour every Sunday and not have a parish).
I notice that the dc (toddlers) live up to the standards set around them and the babies just relax into the arms of Jesus. What the dc receive in the way of grace simply being present at the Holy Sacrifice is so worth the effort. Sometimes a great deal of creativity is required to enable us to do this - but so far we have always made it to Mass as a family and hopefully are not too distracting.
Sometimes I worried a bit about popping out - but then so many people would come up to us later and tell us how encouraged and hopeful they were by our family - the dc were all so well behaved (they are normal children but because our dc have been in Mass since infancy, they certainly are participating well at Mass by 5 or 6. I really think that they would be doing this by 3 or 4 if we didn't have the distractions we do (I've seen this as the normal pattern in families that attend Tridentine (not available here) or the Shrine on a regular basis. Our 3 yo is generally pretty wiggly but quiet and does have moments that touch your heart like when he kneels at the Consecration and says, "I love you Jesus." I do know it was much harder when all my dc were littler. Now there are enough older siblings that also set an example for the little ones. I noticed this with the rosary too - chaos reigns but when we doubled the size and prayed a rosary with my sis's family (10 kids), my toddlers actually joined in - because she had some teenage boys that my boys imitated.
Anyways, I am so glad things went so well, but you are still likely to have some time where you have to spend time in the back - so please don't get discouraged if this happens from time to time. It really is normal life. There seem to be stages - the fussy infant in between the angelic cherub - then teething was the next big hurdle and would rub gums with ice before nursing or bring a frozen chew thing to Mass. Then you have another time of smoothness and then you have the squirmy, fussy toddler - in our house it runs from about 1 - 3. Just when we think we will never make it in the training of this particular one - the child just seems to magically get it and things are smooth again as long as we persevered through the stages. Sometimes a great deal of Creativity is required.
Another thing we noticed - sitting in the front pew helps our toddlers and this is where we sit unless we have an infant that is obviously likely to be fussy. We have sat up front with infant - but then if I have to take the baby out, I usually return to the back of the church unless baby is asleep so we are not popping in and out too much.
Well, I think I've gone way off topic but so glad things went well for your family and your sweet Bridget.
Janet
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: having a hard time going to Mass - help?
