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SeaStar
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| Posted: March 10 2016 at 11:46am | IP Logged
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I am bummed these days... it seems like Lent used to be about making a sacrifice out of love for Jesus, and Easter was a glorious day of celebrating the Resurrection.
But this year the more I read (in print and on line), the more I am getting this message:
If you give up chocolate (or some other food) for Lent, it is really only because you want to lose weight, and this is a two-for-one deal. Try again.
If you are cleaning/decluttering your house, it is really only because you want to get organized and are using Lent as an excuse. Try again.
You have to check in with God during Lent and get your report card from Him as far as how you are doing (as if you can't tell whether or not you are trying your best).... If you are not doing this, try again.
And Easter baskets? When I was a kid, we got candy in ours and that was great. But these days... you have to have books and religious items and something fun... but not too extravagant, because then you are not the minimalist you should be. Try again.
Sheesh! When did Lent and Easter start coming with all these rules?
I know everyone is trying to be helpful with their ideas and observations, but somehow it feels wrong.
Yes- I am tuning out and not reading a lot of all this anymore, but I am also shaking my head. I can't remember in years past being bombarded this way with so many opinions as to what makes Lent meaningful.
And now I will retreat back into my grumpy old lady corner, where I will eat chocolate and hoard items just to show that I really get what Lent is all about....
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: March 10 2016 at 12:34pm | IP Logged
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Having a hard time this Lent. Probably because of the local events that started before Christmas was even through.
But as far as Easter baskets.. I do like doing a little gift thing.. but it all depends on what I feel like. One year we did gardening tools and stuff for the kids to share (they each got their own gloves though). Other times they each get a little gift in their basket. But really.. it's not a second Christmas.. it's a smallish gift unless it's a group gift for something that we'd been planning to do and we just let it coincide with Easter. But we do chocolate bunnies  which reminds me.. I need to do some shopping and I'll be near more shopping later today.. I should get on that huh?
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
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Erin
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| Posted: March 10 2016 at 2:25pm | IP Logged
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Melinda
Maybe you should move to Australia  We don't do Easter baskets here at all. Chocolate eggs and bunnies are the extent of gifts! I admit when I first started reading the forum and later blogs 10 years ago it was a culture shock, Easter baskets, what!!??
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Erin
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: March 10 2016 at 3:55pm | IP Logged
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We are all getting new pillows for Easter  This is what happens when mom is nesting during lent decides she just can't take it anymore. And maybe new kitchen towels and wash cloths, too! My children will love me.
I also have used Easter as a time to buy religious gifts, but usually books. I don't really feel drawn to cutesy religious things myself, and I don't expect my children to want to play with a saint doll. Maybe it is because I have boys??  All I can imagine is that it will get destroyed somehow, and in addition to the guilt I already feel when my kids destroy things (Am I not teaching them to be good stewards???!!!), I'll have to suffer the agony and anxiety of how you ask a child to treat a toy that is also "holy" somehow.
I agree that the whole, "you aren't really sacrificing thing" rubbed me the wrong way, too. I first saw it the week of Ash Wednesday, made a weird face, and then proceeded to scroll past/ignore things with that theme. It made me think lots of unkind, "someone thinks they are holier than the pope" thoughts, so I had to ignore it. We're all on our own journey, and I just can't see how it is anyone's place to judge certain sacrifices as authentic or worthy enough. How can the church ask us to collectively sacrifice meat if sacrificing other foods we want isn't legit, too? Fasting is only good if we don't think we're fat? Why do all the little Fr. Lovasik books I read my children about little ways to practice the corporal works of mercy say things like, "Find toys and coats you are no longer using to give to those who need them" if it isn't an authentic starting point to practicing those virtues. I mean, not that Fr. Lovasik is infallible or anything , but I certainly trust his advice over that of a random mommy blogger. Frankly, it all felt a little gnostic to me. We can't separate the spiritual from the corporal so neatly.
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
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[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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SeaStar
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| Posted: March 10 2016 at 4:08pm | IP Logged
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Erin- I have always loved the Easter basket tradition, but now I think you may be on the right track! Like Jodie said, it is not another Christmas- and yet that seems to be how it plays out in the Catholic on-line world.
I am down to ignoring the remarks now, too, Lindsay, but they sneak up on me. Yesterday I I clicked on a post in my e-mail and started to read, only to discover it was another one of the : this is how you should do Lent posts. And that made me sad, because it is hard to give up things you love, like chocolate or desserts or on line time or whatever- and what is the point of belittling someone for what is, in reality, a very personal choice?
A billion atheists/lost people in the world, and we have to pick on each other. It's enough to make me get my chocolate bunny out early and eat it all on a Friday
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
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ekbell
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| Posted: March 10 2016 at 4:20pm | IP Logged
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Spending too much time worrying about possible impure motives for an particular action doesn't sound particularly useful as absolutely everything can be done for impure motives. It might be better to assess if this particular action is leading my thoughts to God or to obsessing over the weighscale or getting angry at messy, messy children.
Remember losing weight or cleaning house so as to take proper care of God's good gifts (which includes our body) and be better able to love our neighbour may well be an appropriate thing to do this Lent. 
As for Easter Baskets we just have chocolate bunnies, eggs and other sweets with maybe a trinket. The sort of thing my parents always did. It's not as if my children are short of books or religious items and we have other customs to help us remember it's Easter. (in particular decorating the house with the Rosary flowers we make during Lent, twenty flowers per child, six children, it's a lot of flowers..... and cutting out the petals, stems and leaves is part of my Lenten sacrifice  )
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Erica Sanchez
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| Posted: March 10 2016 at 4:30pm | IP Logged
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I think fasting and giving up certain foods was/is a brilliant thing the Church put into practice. I know it's changed over the years, but how great is it that we can practice the virtues of self-control, denial of self, etc., with something we do three times a day, every day. Who thinks giving up certain foods or fasting isn't hard or enough of a sacrifice? Giving up chocolate is a hard sacrifice for me! :)
I can't think right now because I am supposed to be doing something else but snuck on here - not very virtuous!
Pillows for Easter? New dish towels and wash cloths? HEAVEN! I'd like to see a video of the kids' reactions on Easter morning. :)
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Have a beautiful and fun day!
Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: March 10 2016 at 4:56pm | IP Logged
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SeaStar wrote:
I am down to ignoring the remarks now, too, Lindsay, but they sneak up on me. Yesterday I I clicked on a post in my e-mail and started to read, only to discover it was another one of the : this is how you should do Lent posts. And that made me sad, because it is hard to give up things you love, like chocolate or desserts or on line time or whatever- and what is the point of belittling someone for what is, in reality, a very personal choice?
A billion atheists/lost people in the world, and we have to pick on each other. It's enough to make me get my chocolate bunny out early and eat it all on a Friday
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I totally get that feeling. I didn't mean to imply that I am "above it all" or anything, just that I don't have a lot of patience for it myself. 
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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SeaStar
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| Posted: March 10 2016 at 5:42pm | IP Logged
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I am just glad that someone else noticed the same thing, Lindsay, as it has been bugging me all through this Lent, and I thought maybe I was the only one who was bothered by it. And i just don't recall this type of thing going on in years past on line or in print. Maybe I haven't been paying enough attention.
And now I will confess something else... kind of along the holy toy line... my kids would not be very thrilled to see another rosary or holy card in their Easter baskets. We have plenty of Catholic stuff already, and a new pillow would definitely be more exciting to them at this point than another scapular. Heck- just the return of the meat on Friday option alone will be cause for rejoicing for them.
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
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St. Ann
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| Posted: March 11 2016 at 12:37am | IP Logged
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Melinda, I haven't been reading the same blogs as you, but I am not surprised by your experience. Maybe it is my age, but I just don't do many blogs at all anymore. I have actually caught myself rolling my eyes on certain websites! 
There are many good, Catholic women blogging out there with great things to say to minister to others or just to share their own thoughts, but it doesn't mean that their thoughts or ideas work for me.! In fact, I can honestly say, that there are places (good Catholic) sites that I just can't stomach.  YIKES! am I a snob???
Though, I am actually thankful when a blogger lists her books - it is often an introduction to new books I am not yet familiar with.
Erin, in Germany we also have Easter baskets, but they are not as loaded as the ones I've seen in the US. We definitely do chocolate and colored eggs here.
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Stephanie
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St. Ann
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| Posted: March 11 2016 at 12:45am | IP Logged
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Erica, I'm with you on the fasting and abstinence traditions we practice as Catholic families. I see these practices as vital for our children - if they don't learn to deny themselves and make sacrifices now it will be a hard lesson to learn later in life. Ask me how I know
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Stephanie
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: March 11 2016 at 1:21am | IP Logged
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First I have to say Ekbell!!!! We don't do Rosary Flowers.. but my favorite Easter decorations are the coloring pages I print out for the kids.. flowers and butterflies and bunnies and easter eggs.. and then the kids color them and my bigger kids help me cut them out and we put them all over the walls.. even toddler scribbles look pretty when the pictures are cut out.
As far as blogs and such.. there's a couple I get emails for.. but there are times when I just am not interested in what's posted or just don't feel like it. And other times when I love to pop over and read. I'm good with that. So when I just don't wanna.. I delete the email and don't feel guilty.. but another time I'll go and read back posts and whatall and that's good too.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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SeaStar
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| Posted: March 11 2016 at 5:33am | IP Logged
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The flowers and coloring pages sound like just the right Easter decorations. I can see how the stems and leaves would be a sacrifice. But I bet your house looks wonderful and festive when it's all said and done.
Stephanie- I also stay on blog lists just for the book recommendations  . It always comes down to the books, doesn't it?
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
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setonmom
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I have found that there are certain blogs and news sites, that while they are Catholic, just don't bring me peace. There are several very popular Catholic mommy blogs that I have stopped reading altogether.
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3ringcircus
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| Posted: March 12 2016 at 10:36am | IP Logged
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Well, I like to give my kids a non-religious gift on Easter. Why not? It's a more important religious holiday than Christmas. They get Easter baskets with candy too. The way I see it, as PP mentioned, we live in a very secular world. I like to have fun with our Catholic culture, and want to kids to feel like it's a great way to be. Not to say that it's all about indulging and fun, mindless consumption. But, I want to sacrifice together, and rejoice together.
IDK if this makes a different spin on it as far as giving up foods, but we eat sacrificial meals during Lent, and donate the surplus money to the St. Vincent de Paul food bank in the form of non-perishables that the kids pick out.
Thanks for the great thoughts on this thread, though. I learn so much around here!
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Christine
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SeaStar
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| Posted: March 12 2016 at 11:28am | IP Logged
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Those are great points, Christine and Setonmom.
I know we just need to walk away from the places that don't bring us peace, and every family should walk through Lent and then celebrate Easter in the way that works for them.
I appreciate everyone's thoughts- and everyone's kindness in listening to me grump.
On a brighter note. today in Big Lot's all winter wear was marked 90% off, so I was able to get Aerosole fleece lined leggings for 60 cents.
I also found Belly Flops... I had never seen those before, but they look like so much fun. I know my kids will enjoy seeing what different shapes they pull out of the bag. A nice twist on the Jelly Belly tradition.
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
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Erica Sanchez
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| Posted: March 12 2016 at 7:56pm | IP Logged
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St. Ann wrote:
| Erica, I'm with you on the fasting and abstinence traditions we practice as Catholic families. I see these practices as vital for our children - if they don't learn to deny themselves and make sacrifices now it will be a hard lesson to learn later in life. Ask me how I know |
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Exactly!
I have walked away from certain blogs as well, but I thought it was me getting grumpy in my old age since they are almost all younger/youngish mom blogs. I also walk away from blogs if comments that differ from the author's views aren't tolerated. I've seen some craziness in Catholic blog comments over what to me seemed like some pretty basic, considerate type of behaviors (loud, disruptive children at Mass comes to mind). If a commentor isn't allowed the least bit of a different take on an issue or situation, I have a hard time staying with that blog. Sorry, that's a bit of a rant.
I don't want to put down the moms that go all out though (Jessica at Shower of Roses comes to mind) because that just might be her gift and what gives them pleasure. And they might have a much bigger budget for things like loaded gift baskets. If it's a blog I am going to stick with, I try to take from it what works for me and let the rest go.
We do baskets and I try to get books of any kind for them. One year they all got a new beach towel. One year pajamas. I am not a shopper so I tend to throw in something practical whenever I can.
We try to do Lent and Holy Week well so some candy and secular items in the basket aren't a big deal to us. Hope that makes sense.
Enjoying this conversation. I always like being here. :)
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Have a beautiful and fun day!
Erica in San Diego
(dh)Cash, Emily, Grace, Nicholas, Isabella, Annie, Luke, Max, Peter, 2 little souls ++, and sweet Rose who is legally ours!
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SeaStar
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| Posted: March 14 2016 at 6:09am | IP Logged
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On Saturday I received our local Catholic newspaper. Too funny- on one page the bottom article was about Lent, and the author stated she was completely addicted to her smart phone, chocolate, etc but wasn't giving anything like that up for Lent.
On the top half of the same page, there was another article about Lent, written by a religious sister who stated Lent was a wonderful time to practice the art of denying ourselves- that it was a healthy and productive thing to do, and the Church in her wisdom gave us this practice.
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
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Kristie 4
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We are Orthodox so all of our Lenten fasting is set for us by the church (and is the same across the whole Orthodox world) so we aren't in the decision making equation- this is definitely freeing.
Traditionally we have a Pascha (Easter) basket- this is filled with Kielbasa and easter bread and chocolate. There is one big one for the whole family. The priest blesses these at the end of our Easter service. But I also buy each kid a bunny.
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Kristie in Canada
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SeaStar
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| Posted: March 14 2016 at 9:27am | IP Logged
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Kristie 4 wrote:
We are Orthodox so all of our Lenten fasting is set for us by the church (and is the same across the whole Orthodox world) so we aren't in the decision making equation- this is definitely freeing.
Traditionally we have a Pascha (Easter) basket- this is filled with Kielbasa and easter bread and chocolate. There is one big one for the whole family. The priest blesses these at the end of our Easter service. But I also buy each kid a bunny. |
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Love this idea!!
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Are we overthinking Lent and Easter?
