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10 Bright Stars
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Joined: Nov 16 2006
Location: Virginia
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Posts: 728
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| Posted: Feb 19 2013 at 6:29pm | IP Logged
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Also, a quick thought...you said you were crying. Totally normal to feel "hit in the gut" so to speak when a child, especially the first-born, whom we experience everything FIRST with, opens up about feeling "disappointed" about their life. So, feel the emotions, learn from them, but then...put them aside. The next step is to think rationally about the situation. You are the grown-up, and have the advantage of years of experience. Think about what she said. You know her better than anyone. What does she REALLY need? Then, it is fine to go back a few days later and open the conversation again..."You know, I was thinking about what you were saying the other day...." Then, this is the time when you steer the thoughts and heart of your daughter where you want them to go. From unhappiness to gratitude. From envy to happiness for others, and action in HER life as to where God is leading her. Talk about keeping her eyes "on her own paper". I call it that in my own life when I feel a twinge of envy about this or that another person may have or be experiencing...(we never get too old for this temptation, sadly, and that is why it is important to give her the tools to deal with it and let her know....it is wrong.  Be honest and talk about limits in people's income. This is something that we all have to deal with all the time!!! How Mom and Dad WANT to give you everything she wants, but that is not always possible... or good for her, etc. etc., and that when she isn't thankful for what you provide, it hurts your feelings. (It is o.k. to be a human in front of your child!  ) Anyway, then, start to think creatively about leading her through the path of growing up! This is going to keep happening, again and again, in different stages. The first time is a little shocking, and other times after that too! So, this is the beginning of another birth, so to speak, for you. Your little daughter is growing up, and needs a guide! (I am there too, so preachin' to the choir!) What do you want her to grow up to be like? Then, figure out how to steer her there, with God's grace! Good luck!
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Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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Angi
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Joined: March 23 2007
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Posts: 521
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| Posted: Feb 20 2013 at 9:25pm | IP Logged
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Kristie 4 wrote:
Nine year old girls  That was a very hard year! |
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Exactly what I was going to say 
My 9 year old daughter is the most easy going kid ever, 80% of the time, then she is irrational and whiny! I still get caught off guard when my easy going kid turns into crazy 9 year old girl child.
All of a sudden, either due to maturity or going to Catholic school, my 11 year old (who has been the most difficult/rage filled child I have) has become the easiest!
I feel like I live in the Twilight Zone most of the time.
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Feeling like a horrible mom after talk
