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Servant2theKing
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When things get crazy around here lately I try to thank God for "boysterous" dc underfoot and the blessing of having them here with us, while praying for those families who ache to be dealing with such things this Christmas. Perhaps we can offer up our daily struggles for families in CT. 
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SuzanneG
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Y'all are TOTALLY MISSIN' the boat!  This is the absolute EASIEST time of year to reign in all that nonsense! I love love love Christmas simply for the fact that there is so much going on and I do not at ALL hesitate to keep a child or children home because of bad behavior or have them miss out on fun family activities.
Some examples to make us all LOVE this job called parenting..........
"If I see that you are completely obsessed with gifts coming into this house via the UPS man, I will remove a gift from your pile on Christmas morning and we'll give it away the next day. It will be my choice what is removed. I will keep a running tally of the number of gifts I will remove on the chalkboard so you and I can both remember."
"The UPS man is not put on this earth to serve you......he is here to help move things from one place to another....and if you don't stop crying about this, you are showing me that you are tired and not getting enough sleep and you will go to bed early tonight and miss out on the hilarious antics of Will Farrell in our family movie night of ELF. "
"If you cannot remove yourself from the window and stop watching for the UPS man, I will give you a bathroom to clean."
"If you are unable to go to bed and settle down at bedtime you will be doing extra chores tomorrow to ensure that you are tired enough to go to sleep on time the next night."
"If you can't behave and stop going crazy, then you will take a nap this afternoon instead of going to Ben's Christmas house to sled."
"If you continue to mope, you are showing me that you are tired and you will take a nap this afternoon."
or....for a child that needs energy release instead of a nap....
""If you can't behave and stop going crazy, then you will run around the house 20 times and move snow piles instead of going to Ben's party this afternoon."
Now, the trick, of course, is you have to be willing to follow up on these things! Which i LOVE, of course! Because the results are amazing!
IMHO......I think the reason that kids in a classroom are CRAZY is b/c they are all feeding off of each other and how on earth can you have anything constructive to do in a small classroom?? In our homes, there are a MILLION things for them to do and we have a million consequences that we have the TIME to ensure will happen....a teacher is simply crowd-control...we are parents-of-a-chosen-few who can come up with if-then-statements even in the biggest of families. It's part of our job. Would I rather be wrapping presents and making lovely boughs with beautiful red ribbons? of course! But, that's not nearly as important as coming up with the above-mentioned-sentences.
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Suzanne in ID
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Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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JodieLyn
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Can I mention here that I LOVE Midnight Mass with kids for several of the reasons mentioned above  I am not trying to get hyped up kids to bed.. they're getting tired by Mass and are willing to sit, and by the time we get home, they think bed is a good idea AND they sleep just that little bit later the next day.
I also give them a time (an early time) that they may NOT come out of their rooms until.. it's 6am.. which by the time we get home from Mass and all.. is about as early as I can handle.
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Mackfam
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| Posted: Dec 18 2012 at 11:43am | IP Logged
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SuzanneG wrote:
I love love love Christmas simply for the fact that there is so much going on and I do not at ALL hesitate to keep a child or children home because of bad behavior or have them miss out on fun family activities.
Some examples to make us all LOVE this job called parenting..........
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 Agree completely! It isn't always easy following through on some of those IF-THEN consequences, but that's the important work...and that's the work I offer up:
** GUARD quiet in the home.
** Quickly call out any noisy talk of gifting, watching, wishing, crazy-me-focused noise, and offer a quick consequence for excessive display of selfishness, or inability to exercise reasonable self-control.
** Limit gifts. If the kids start getting hyped up about gifts or wishing, that's my cue to drastically cut back on the amount of ANYTHING received.
** Spend time talking one-on-one with the kids about gratitude for gifts, and how to express that gratitude. We even model (play act) receiving a TON of gifts and how to express gratitude because when we have family over it doesn't matter that I've limited family gifts to 1 - 2 per child, there will be lots of gifts received per child and they need to have the practice on receiving with gratitude and using a vocabulary full of gratitude.
** Ensure that children have plenty of purposeful work to do as part of Advent preparation! This helps keep their hands busy and assists with them going to bed at a regular time. No work = no privileges.
** Enforce regular bedtime. NO exceptions during the week before Christmas.
** Implement gift give-away post-Christmas.
** Actively plan for and talk about giving away to worthy organizations. My family loves to make big plans to give donations to Food for the Poor or Heifers International because the kids can visualize a little family receiving the chicks or goat they donated. In fact, we often wrap a picture of that up and put it under the tree and we make a far bigger deal out of that than any other gift.
Servant2theKing wrote:
| When things get crazy around here lately I try to thank God for "boysterous" dc underfoot and the blessing of having them here with us, while praying for those families who ache to be dealing with such things this Christmas. Perhaps we can offer up our daily struggles for families in CT. |
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Oh, I agree that we should be offering up our work, especially for those suffering in CT.
We can and SHOULD be offering up our daily work and sufferings for those in CT, but instead of offering up unruliness and discord, we can offer up our active efforts to restore order and routine in our homes! Especially when we have to follow through on a tough consequence and keep a child at home, or give a child extra work as part of helping that child remain focused on the one thing needful this season. That's hard!!! Because, of course, we'd love for them to participate in all the fun stuff!!! But we NEED them to learn self-control and gratitude and we need to help them learn to guard interior quiet.
The devil loves noise, discord and he works with chaos! If there is discord and chaos in the home, that is a HUGE RED FLAG to me that it's time to work hard to restore order and routine and guard quiet...especially during this holy season of preparation!
SuzanneG wrote:
| Would I rather be wrapping presents and making lovely boughs with beautiful red ribbons? of course! But, that's not nearly as important as coming up with the above-mentioned-sentences. |
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Yes! Important work! Even though I'd rather be wrapping my home in lights and candy canes!
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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SuzanneG
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JodieLyn wrote:
Can I mention here that I LOVE Midnight Mass with kids for several of the reasons mentioned above I am not trying to get hyped up kids to bed.. they're getting tired by Mass and are willing to sit, and by the time we get home, they think bed is a good idea AND they sleep just that little bit later the next day.
I also give them a time (an early time) that they may NOT come out of their rooms until.. it's 6am.. which by the time we get home from Mass and all.. is about as early as I can handle. |
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Yes! Thank you, Jodie! That is a great way to look at it, and it's just given me a whole new attitude about going to midnight mass for the first time this year. Telling dh about this tonight.....
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Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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Mackfam
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JodieLyn wrote:
| I also give them a time (an early time) that they may NOT come out of their rooms until.. it's 6am.. which by the time we get home from Mass and all.. is about as early as I can handle. |
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That's our rule, too! It's FIRM NON-NEGOTIABLE!!
RULE:
You may not enter the living room until the Christmas tree lights are turned on at 6 am (by me or Dad). You will wait on the stairs until I call you into the LR.
Now...part of the fun here is that the kids get up a little earlier and like to stand on the stairs and peek into the LR. 
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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JodieLyn
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Mackfam wrote:
| Now...part of the fun here is that the kids get up a little earlier and like to stand on the stairs and peek into the LR. |
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THIS is what wakes me up on Christmas morning.. the loud whispering of what they think they can see peeking out the top of stockings.. and relaying that info down the hall
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
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SeaStar
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JennGM wrote:
I wasn't like that. And I really try to keep things low key so I don't get him more excited. Doesn't help.
My second son is the exact opposite. His birthday was last Thursday. He changed into his pjs in the afternoon so tomorrow would come faster (he was going to bed, but we had to change back and run errands). Later after dinner he didn't want a bath or reading before bed, just straight to bed so the morning would come faster.
Now THAT is what I used to do.
Polar opposites, these two. But I could have it worse. My sister's son (same age as my oldest) two years ago woke up very early (before 3:00), opened all his gifts, and finally went to his family around 4 or 5 saying he was lonely and could everyone come down? |
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My two are the same- polar opposites. Ds is off the charts spirited. We have coping mechanisms in place. We just never know what curve ball he is going to throw next.
I also try to keep things low key.
What cheers me is that these spirited kids , the ones who get so excited they can't sleep (and you really can't force someone to sleep, can you?) , the ones who get up in the middle of the night and open all their Christmas presents, the ones who cry because they have one item on their Christmas list and are afraid the UPS man might not bring it- these are the ones who also keep life so interesting and keep us on our toes. Gotta love 'em!
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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JodieLyn
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Oh and yes for Mom to get anything resembling enough sleep, St. Nick has to be really on the ball.. everything wrapped and ribboned, stocking items put into bags so that it's just transfering from bag to stocking.
Though last year for the first time I let my oldest two help with putting the gifts under the tree (for all our sanity, gifts don't go under the tree until after the kids are in bed Christmas Eve) while I stuffed stockings.. that really helps speed things along 
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G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
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JodieLyn
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Oh! another suggestion for those of you with non-sleepers... my dh's family used to come home from Midnight Mass and open gifts BEFORE going to bed. It's an idea to consider. I know here at Easter I set out the baskets after the kids are in the car for Mass (I'm always the last one out of the house checking for lights off and all) so that when we get home it's all set out.. you could do the same with stockings and such.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
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SuzanneG
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SeaStar wrote:
| the ones who get so excited they can't sleep (and you really can't force someone to sleep, can you?) , |
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no...but you can make them stay in bed! This you can "force"
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| the ones who get up in the middle of the night and open all their Christmas presents, |
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really?
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| the ones who cry because they have one item on their Christmas list and are afraid the UPS man might not bring it |
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Oh my goodness. I would definitely not encourage Christmas-list-making for this child.
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Suzanne in ID
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Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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10 Bright Stars
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Ours are antsy too. We are really cooped up in the house. Just think..the kids can't get outside as much, they are playing inside and can't get that energy out. Maybe try putting on some kid's exercise videos and helping them release some of that energy, OR, maybe just some kid friendly music on SIRIUS radio? They will get into it if you grab a baby or little one and dance too. We used to do this more often, and maybe I should do it again as my littles have been hyper too!! Also, watch what they are eating. People start sending cookies and things like that early...it can overload their systems. Also, I broke down a job so to speak into little parts for my 3 year old yesterday. Had him help me sort laundry, and help with the laundry..but I took it SLOWLY. And, he did it all by himself! (the sorting, collecting in his chugga chugga TOOT TOOT laundry basket, which is what I called it. He loved to press the button to start the machine and see the "waterfall". (I went over the safety issue of NEVER opening the lid without Mommy there..) It took me a little longer, but it got done! And, he had a really good time instead of watching Umi Zoomi or something! So, try to think of new activities in the mundane that will be new for them, and try to make it one on one. I would really recommend that. Trying to entertain them all at once can be difficult! I think the one on one can be a real boost to them, and can go a long way. Maybe time to get into a good book with them? (something longer, as they eat popcorn??) try to engage them, slow down yourself, so they can slow down too. I wouldn't send them to school. That would be more stressful for you! Just try to think outside of the box, what might be fun for you and relaxing, and then try to incorporate them too. You should be getting some new things for them for Christmas too, so that will give them something to do!
Good luck!
Kim
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Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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Mackfam
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SeaStar wrote:
| (and you really can't force someone to sleep, can you?) |
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You can definitely make it THE most appealing thing on their agenda!
I have strong-willed, spirited kids, too. Four of 'em!  (Do you think the Lord will cut me some slack with my 5th?? ...I'm not counting on it. )
It would be insanity here (  ) if there were not a good bedtime routine with brainstorms in place for when noise threatens to overtake the kids' attention and interfere with that routine.
I'm so encouraged that my older, strong-willed, spirited children have really learned to self-moderate in some ways! Wahoo!!!! But it was hard work getting them there. My younger spirited kids really need those extra tools to help them moderate their strong wills and active imaginations. That delightfully full and strong spirit needs to be in service to God as they mature and grow.
Following up on Jodie's suggestion - we've always opened our family gifts on Christmas Eve - after dark. Santa does not wrap gifts - he just leaves his gifts for them under the tree. Whew! This takes a lot off my plate (no wrapping!!) for that one night. It is a real help for us and follows my own family traditions from when I was a little girl, so I thought I'd add on to Jodie's alternative.
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Jen Mackintosh
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Wildflowers and Marbles
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JennGM
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I know it's meant to be helpful, but I am feeling a little defensive on the way the thread has turned. I was sharing just how excited my boys are. Perfectly natural. And, like Melinda said, my oldest is more spirited, so he has a hard time sleeping especially when anticipating (but he was like that as an infant--doesn't want to miss a thing). He wants to sleep and has a hard time. wehave a 7:00 rule for waking the family up. Nobody goes downstairs until it's time. He redpects that and loves it, actually. he is older now so doesn't wake us up all the time when he is frustrated. He is learning slowly how to calm himself and do activities that he will relax.
In this area he isn't doing anything wrong. We set parameters and try to provide low key meaningful ways to prepare.
We keep the talk of gimme down, no lists, etc, and try to help them see helping others and giving to others and being sweet to brother is the appropriate behavior.
I just was sharing--we have had more discipline times during this season.
But what I was sharing is the joy and expectation that sometimes comes out a little crazy and frustrating for Mommy at times.
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Jennifer G. Miller
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JennGM
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My family did the midnight mass routine. DH is an early to bed person and its not his tradition. I loved it though.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2 '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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CrunchyMom
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JennGM wrote:
| My family did the midnight mass routine. DH is an early to bed person and its not his tradition. I loved it though. |
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Dh's family always went to midnight mass, and we've gone to the 10:00 midnight mass for several years. Our pastor has been given authority over a third parish this year (the cathedral), limiting his time furher, so our C'mas Eve mass is at 7:00, which isn't quite the same for bringing the kiddos home and putting them straight to bed. I'm not sure how things will play out this year. 
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
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[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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Mackfam
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JennGM wrote:
I know it's meant to be helpful, but I am feeling a little defensive on the way the thread has turned.
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That certainly was not my intention at all.
My goal was to answer and brainstorm with the original poster who asked if anyone else found their children more crazy this time of year:
kristacecilia wrote:
Is anyone else finding their children to just be more overwhelming, misbehaving more, and generally more crazy this time of year?
Someone please tell me it's not just mine. I was seriously thinking I needed to put mine in school and agonizing over the decision when a teacher-friend told me it's the time of year and all her students are the same way.
Is that true for you? |
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It isn't true in our home. Are my children eager? Yes, most certainly! Are they excited? Yes! But are they crazy? No.
Thanks for letting me share an alternate experience.
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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CatholicMommy
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About this time a couple of years ago, I was reading and learning a LOT about how the original people on earth lived - without all the artificial, the winters naturally became times of rest. While not quite hibernation, there was certainly a calming, a resting...
But we don't have that these days because the artificial lights keep up us "thinking" it is the same amount of day-light. So our bodies still expect to be able to get outside and play and run around - and then we're not getting our natural seasonal resting either.
The trick is to 1) use natural lighting.
2) Plan for LESS to happen.
3) Declutter before winter sets in so there is plenty of space for playing indoors.
4) Use less lighting overall - so that one gets used to the darkness and proper circadian rhythms have an opportunity to re-set.
It's not perfect, but I will say that I see a huge difference the last 2 winters thus far in both myself and my son. And yes, this is the child who can literally climb walls ;)
Now, this past Thursday we messed all that up, used all the artificial lighting in the house to keep ourselves UP and MALadjusted for two days leading up to... midnight showing of the Hobbit.
Well worth it! (I say as I still have a weary-type-ache in my head from the whole thing the Tuesday AFTER) ;)
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JodieLyn
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Sometimes it's our expectations too.. I was just chatting with a friend and while we may *think* that Christmas should be slow and quiet, if that's not really the way it works, maybe the expectation of it being busy and "noisy" and a tad bit crazy would make it easier to deal with rather than expecting something that either doesn't happen or you need to put a whole lot of effort into making it happen (it's always more effort to go "against the flow" of the culture you live in).
Jenn, I'm so sorry, I know what you mean but I'm sure no one intended to make you feel that way. 
It can be difficult when we all deal with such different expectations and not to mention so many different personalities and then there's the definition of "crazy", in some households (mine!) it's more a description of the general level of busyness and noise and personalities of TEN kids, not to mention mom and dad and the sheer number of things that come up this time of the year - more on that. In others it may mean unacceptable, out of control behavior. So if you've got a good "crazy" happening, then it may not need to be changed. And the suggestions are really for the "bad crazy" (which is only bad depending on how well that household can handle it).
So along with all our normal stuff which is busy, we add in the fire department family Christmas party (someone forgot to mention that dh and I were in charge of it seriously, I offered to get the Santa gifts for the kids and then at my dh's request I went in and put in the pizza order early that day but apparently dh was in charge without knowing it ) Then we get together with family, that's usually not a big deal other than coordinating the food so we don't end up with WAY TO MUCH  BUT we just found a week or so ago that our brand new Bishop will be here this Saturday!!! He's doing a series of talks on the Year of Faith for all the Diocese and we're first. So we had to add in a Friday rehersal so the kids can put together a little Christmas program for lunch on Saturday when the Bishop is here. The program which goes from 11-2 (with lunch). And then the Knights (dh again) are doing a breakfast with the Bishop here on Sunday (generally adds an hour either end of Church and normal after church get together). But we wouldn't miss it.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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JodieLyn
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JennGM wrote:
| My family did the midnight mass routine. DH is an early to bed person and its not his tradition. I loved it though. |
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You know, DH's dad is very early to bed. He spent so many years getting up at 4am to get to work that for Christmas he'd just get a good nap in and then get up and get dressed for Midnight Mass.
I definately understand it not working though. It's funny sometimes the least change can make it "too hard". We had an 11pm Mass on Christmas Eve a couple of years and it just didn't work for me.. it was too early (of all funny things) we'd get home and the kids wouldn't settle down well, not like after Midnight Mass. But with my family (not Catholic) being local Christmas Morning Mass at 9am is also real hard to work with. I'm glad we have our Midnight Mass back.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Crazy kids?
