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stefoodie
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Ladies, the past week I've been participating in a discussion at our online pro-life group. It started out well, with one person asking about soulmates and whether there was such a thing as soulmate in Catholic doctrine, which prompted me to write this blog post.
There were many of us who participated, and the thread is now close to 300 comments.... but one thing struck me in particular:
There is an overwhelming MINORITY of happy stories. And I don't know about you, but I still believe in fairy tales and happy endings, and marriages blessed in unbelievable ways by a loving and faithful God. I know we're not supposed to expect paradise here on earth, and that it's only through suffering that we find our way to heaven. But I still believe that since salvation comes by way of the family, that God has imbued the Sacrament of Matrimony, and the domestic church, with graces that far outweigh the sufferings one has to endure. I've seen miracles happen, many of them here in this group.
So I ask you to share your hopeful stories, your stories of marriages gone GOOD, of conversions of heart, of miracles that have happened to you, your spouse, how your marriage has changed your life FOR THE BETTER, how your marriage has BLESSED you and the people around you. Perhaps we are not in the majority as it would be so wonderful to believe, but I also see us Catholic homeschoolers as a powerful force who can and are already changing the world. And I think that by sharing these stories, we can rebuild a culture based on HOPE and FAITH and GOD'S FAITHFULNESS. Thanks in advance.
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stef
mom to five
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mom2mpr
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Stef,
Wrong day to ask 
I'll check out the blog post and comments and might be able to come up with something. For sure tomorrow, because the clouds do eventually pass and the sunlight after is so bright! KWIM
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Anne, married to dh 16 years!, ds,(97), Little One (02), and dd (02).
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mamaslearning
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I have, what I consider, to be a happy and life-long marriage.  We were friends, we enjoyed the same things, we socialized with the same group of friends, and we liked talking to each other before we ever thought about dating. Once we started dating, we just clicked. We had similar visions of the future, similar morals, and his calmness balanced out my tendency to *ahem* overreact  . At a certain point in our dating, we just knew it was either break up or get married, so he proposed. I just couldn't imagine my life without him. We talked so much in our dating that we knew what to expect in our marriage - financial goals, family goals (we would raise any children as Catholics, I would stay home - which guided our financial decisions in our early marriage to buy a house based upon one income and not two, even though it meant buying a modest house.), faith sharing, we talked about everything. We even talked about honesty and divorce and our views on adultery (and why we think it happened to so many of our friends, not judging them, but learning from what we saw.).
I have to say he is an awesome man! Honesty and integrity and selflessness. He has stood by me and supported me through some rough times in my pregnancies, and he is such a great provider for us. And, honestly, it hasn't felt like much work to keep things together. We made a vow that we intend to keep, end of story. We communicate about most everything.
Honestly, we rarely fight and it's usually me that gets hotheaded, but it's over quickly and resolved with some apologies and understandings of what went wrong. We aren't perfect, but neither of us like drama. It's just not our thing, so we keep to a simple life. I trust him to put our family first, just as he trusts me to put our family first.
Soul mate? I don't use that term because I don't really understand it, but he is my best friend and I just *knew* that I couldn't live life without him. We married at 22/23, but dated since I was 19 (knew him since I was 17).
I'm rambling, sorry!
I guess the reason our marriage works comes down to all the pre-marriage talks. We were compatible from the start and went into it with no major differences on any important matters. We wanted the same things in life!  I appreciate girl time, but I still love having him as the only friend I really need.
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Lara
DD 11, DS 8, DS 6, DS 4
St. Francis de Sales Homeschool
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Claire F
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Our marriage has been blessed in amazing ways and I'm happy and humbled to have served as an example for others in our life over the years.
My husband and I began dating when we were quite young, just 15 years old. He came from a difficult background and family situation and my family offered him stability and a glimpse of the possibilities of a life that was different from his family of origin. We stayed together all through high school, and through college and married in 1999. Neither of us were practicing Catholics back then (I was raised Catholic, but was not practicing in those days, he was raised without any specific faith), but we chose to be married at my mom's church - which happened to be a Catholic church. I have always been so grateful that we were married in the Church, and for the gentle and loving guidance we received from the priest who married us. He was so welcoming and helpful, while being forthright and honest, and many of the things he said to us in our preparatory meetings stuck with us afterwards. I really think the Holy Spirit had such a hand in our being married in the Church - at that time I would never have thought my husband would ever consider becoming Catholic, and yet our experience of being married in the Church really set the groundwork for calling us both home.
Thirteen years later, we are both practicing Catholics (my husband was received into the church in 2010) with three kids. We have a wonderful, strong marriage that has only been strengthened by our shared faith. Things aren't perfect every single day, but for the most part, we get along as well as we ever have, and the love we have for each other has deepened and blossomed in so many ways. We have faced challenges and times that were tough, but we've always faced them together.
If there is such a thing as a soulmate, he is mine. In some ways, I have lost track of where I leave off and he begins. We've been together so long, from such a young age, we grew up together and have been fortunate to have grown in the same direction. Our marriage is solid and has only grown stronger over the years.
A close friend of mine, who had to leave an abusive marriage several years ago, once told me that my husband and I give her hope of what is possible. That warmed my heart and felt... right. We are imperfect people just doing our best, but I feel like we've done a lot right when it comes to our marriage and I'm so grateful we can bless our children and other people in our life with the love we share for each other.
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Claire
Mom to DS 12/04, DS 5/07, DD 8/09
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SallyT
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I do think my marriage is something of a miracle. Though we both grew up in churchgoing families (Methodist), and my husband was a clergyman when I met him (he was my parents' Methodist pastor; later, after we were married, he became an Anglican priest), neither of us had ever received any real, definitive formation with regard to sexual morality or marriage, and we had no real theology about it . . . the only marriage preparation we received was fifteen minutes with the pastor who married us, whose insights consisted of saying, "My wife cooks breakfast for me every morning, and I always tell her thank you." He later left his wife and married another woman in the congregation, which of course we didn't see coming at the time . . .
Anyway, suffice it to say that at 25 and 28, we were both ready to be married, which we knew in some subconscious, intuitive way, but we were clueless. Cuh-lew-less. Our first decade of marriage was filled with what now seem to me to be totally stupid fights and betrayals which we probably would have avoided had we been Catholic and/or received the kind of marriage preparation which would have made us confront a lot of those issues beforehand -- when and whether to have children, for example, was huge for us in the beginning, though once we finally did have our first child, we thought, "Why, exactly, were we stressing out about this?" That really was the beginning of our pulling together -- before, we (by which I really mean I) were just kind of these two individuals who lived and slept together. Having children put paid to the notion that either one of us was a free agent.
Our road into Catholicism consumed the second decade of our marriage -- though we've only been Catholic for five/almost-six years -- and it was also bumpy, because we didn't become convinced of the truth of Catholic teaching on the same timeline, and this was rough. At one point, mercifully long ago now, I truly thought the whole thing was over, though I don't think either of us would actually have walked out. But we both had to get taken apart and put back together, and that process was difficult and frequently painful. In some ways it's still going on, but that, I guess, is the human condition. Having a settled, shared framework for that process really helps on the marital-happiness front.
So, we've been married now for almost 23 years, and I would say that we have *become* soul mates on a very different level from the relatively superficial level at which we began. It's a little like being wrought iron, I guess, molded in the fire. We are *very* different people, and sometimes we still drive each other crazy -- his cautiousness vs. my impulsiveness, for example -- but that's just the leftover rough edges of pieces which have learned to fit together, mostly by coming to a place of agreeing on the huge things to do with our faith. Meanwhile, we do still make each other laugh. We do still sit up too late talking. We are each other's safe harbor. We take shared delight in our growing children. We look forward to growing old together. I'm not anxious for the kids all to grow up and leave, but there's a part of me that looks forward to having it just be the two of us again, because we enjoy each other.
Sometimes I wonder how we look to other people at this point in our marriage, because we're so busy that we often don't appear publicly together. But I always remember a line from one of the prayers from our marriage ceremony -- "that those to whom love is a stranger may find in you generous friends" -- and hope that that's what we are, and what we do. Marriage is hard, hard work; love is so often a sheer act of the will. But my hope for my own marriage is that people knowing us would consider marriage worth the effort.
Sally
PS: I should probably add that the first time we went out together, we really didn't like each other. Both of us came away thinking, "Nah . . . " I guess we should not be surprised that we have children who exhibit that "initial negative reaction" trait. Wonder where they got it?
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JodieLyn
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I think the miracle of Marriage is that it creates "soulmates".. and the two shall become one.
The difficulty is in the work and CHANGE that's required of each of us for living together.
I'll see if I can get over there and write something for you.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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stefoodie
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Thanks so much ladies, for all the replies so far! I've skimmed, and will go back tomorrow and reread more carefully (just got back from the Romney/Ryan Rally in West Chester, OH!).
I'm sorry I wasn't clear. The discussion with the 300 comments was in a private forum, so not visible to the public. Feel free to comment on the blog if you like though. My next post is on why I think my husband was created by God just for me :)
What depressed me was that there were hardly any stories of happy marriages, in the ~300 comments. I'm sure there's a bunch of us, but I guess we're being a bit too quiet about it? So I thought I'd come here and ask, since y'all aren't afraid to share, especially when it's good news, right? And we all could use some, that's for sure!
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stef
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CrunchyMom
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stefoodie wrote:
What depressed me was that there were hardly any stories of happy marriages, in the ~300 comments. I'm sure there's a bunch of us, but I guess we're being a bit too quiet about it? So I thought I'd come here and ask, since y'all aren't afraid to share, especially when it's good news, right? And we all could use some, that's for sure!
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I think that it can be hard to share about your happy marriage after someone else has shared about their unhappy one.
I was talking recently to an older friend of mine whose children are my age. I was, unfortunately, venting about all the unfinished projects we have. It started with me just making some passing comments about how frustrating it was to feel like nothing was ever finished. It sort of snowballed because people kept trying to make comforting comments that really weren't true like, "the garden's finished" and "all houses are like that." I'm such a stickler, I couldn't let it go, and before I knew it, I was COMPLAINING.  It was NOT my best moment, and I think my recklessness hurt my husband.
A bit later, my friend lovingly and sternly told me that I needed to be very careful because I had much more in a husband than did any of her daughters. She told me I needed to choose my battles carefully. Basically, she reminded me of how good I have it.
And I do. I am SO blessed in my marriage! We have our struggles, of course, but my husband is my rock (as much as any person on earth can be  ). This doesn't mean that my friend's daughters' marriages will fail!!! But they do have it harder in many ways.
When people share frustrations in their marriage, and I don't just mean the more troubled marriages, it seems wrong to speak of how little I struggle with those particular things. We're neither of us perfect, but sometimes I really think I married Prince Charming To share that feels sort of like rubbing the salt into the wounds of those whose marriage is so much harder than my own.
I've often looked over my history, and while I'm floored by God's grace in leading me to my spouse, I also know I was terribly picky (though, I do attribute that to grace, too). It wasn't just luck, yk? I wanted someone like my Dad. My husband's temperament is different from my Dad, but in terms of integrity and virtue, they are both exceptional men. A guy friend in college always told me I would never find anyone like my Dad, they just didn't exist. I was too picky. But I didn't even want to date anyone that didn't meet those standards, and I didn't.
While we don't know each other perfectly, we know each other better than anyone else, and that was true right away in our relationship. I think when you can know someone so well so fast, it FEELS very mystical, like it must have been orchestrated somehow.
I know that people are sometimes burned by this feeling because it was false. They didn't know the other person at all. So, the feeling itself cannot be the foundation for a marriage. I think that you also become more like your spouse the longer you are married, and in good marriages this growing alike (though, there will be growing pains, I'm sure) can contribute to the sensation of feeling made for each other.
I do believe in miracles and happy endings, but I don't always feel like sharing my own happy story would be especially helpful to someone who is struggling. It isn't as if they can start over with different criteria for picking their spouse, and finding peace in a marriage where the two people don't understand or agree with each other will be a very different kind of story from my own. I don't always feel that my story would be appreciated by someone who is bitter or unhappy. And my story is precious to me. To share it with those who might mock it is a great risk, yk?
So, perhaps this is part of why people with happy marriages don't share so much as the unhappy people?
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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JodieLyn
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Thanks Stef, I realized that it wasn't the 300 comments but I did want to read the blog post you linked to.
Lindsay made some good points. Also it's harder to tell a story without a crisis.. it doesn't mean that happy marriages don't have them but I think often they run smaller because of the way they're dealt with by those involved. And perhaps part of a happy marriage is that when things happen and are resolved, they're let go. Which also makes it harder to tell a story about how a marriage is happy even when things happen. There's a Don Williams song I really like that says "maybe that's all it takes, just letting go of the old mistakes, holding on tight to the love we make, maybe that's all it takes".
Lindsay, I was also picky, in a different way, I knew myself well enough to know that some personalities I could run right over. And my dh is one of those "rocks" that I can "rage" against and not worry about bullying him when it happens.. he waits me out (it is rather a flash in the pan). Makes me feel safe instead of guilty for having the emotions. Which has the opposite effect you might think. I've become less volatile.
But yes I was very "unromantic" because I considered things like what we wanted to do in life, where it meant we might live and such.. and of course going through the pre-cana classes helped bring up other things we'd missed as well.. of course those things changed too.. we'd have been closer on "how many children do you envision" if we'd added what we said together
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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SallyT
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Yes, I think Lindsay's points are excellent. People start talking often because they need to talk, and to have someone hear them, and this usually happens in times of upheaval or unhappiness. People with happy marriages talk less about their marriages (I would think) because they don't *need* someone to talk to.
The person I really want to talk to most of the time is my husband. And again, I had to get to a place where that was true -- early in my marriage, I know I vastly overprivileged friendships outside my marriage (because nobody had ever suggested that this might be a disloyal thing to do, and I was slow on the uptake), and did do far more talking with my friends about my marriage. Funnily enough, my marriage wasn't as happy or as stable then -- perhaps a chicken-egg phenomenon. Now, typically, as I'm around other people, what I really want to do is go home and be with my husband, who is a nice, sane, smart person! What a relief!
Funnily enough, also, I was very picky and never dated anyone seriously or for very long until I met my husband. My criteria were shallow and kind of soul-matey: basically, I told myself, I had lots of fun with my female friends, and until I met someone whose company I enjoyed, continually, as much as I enjoyed the company of my friends, I was content to stay single. Of course, I really did want to get married, have a home, have children, and all that, but my mother was continually telling me not to be in a hurry, to "live" first, and all that, like marriage and children were what you did when you ran out of interesting things to do, so I was kind of conflicted. Anyway, I didn't get tired of my husband's company right away (once we decided we actually didn't dislike each other), and also he was manifestly smarter than I was -- and I was pretty arrogant about my own brain, so much so that I'm amazed that anyone could stand me, let alone would propose to me -- so I married him. I turned out to have made a good decision, but I can't credit myself very far, because I was a total child about the whole thing. If ever I'm moved to doubt God's grace . . .
The other "if I'm moved to doubt God's grace" part of the story has to do with origins. My husband is adopted, but it was only after we were married that we discovered, quite by accident, that my mother, who had been a DHS social worker before her marriage, had overseen his adoption. Her very distinctive signature is on all these papers allowing his family to take him out of state on vacation, back then in 1962-3. Weird much?
Sally
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3ringcircus
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Not long after we met, DH and I were talking on the phone. He was blabbering on about how you could likely be "compatible" w/ more than one person. He was kinda dumb when it came to how you talk to women back then-LOL! Anyway, he continued by saying, "after all, I'm sure I don't have everything to be your 'perfect man'." Then, I just got quiet. The truth was that he met every single one of my criteria: smart, compatible sense of humor, sincere, cute, Catholic, practical & careful about money, steady provider so I could be a SAHM. He even had some bonuses, such as bilingual. We were together for a year before we got engaged, and I didn't want to rush anything, but I could tell that we saw the world in much the same way. Because of that, it hasn't been a constant struggle to love him and be comfortable and happy with him. We definitely have had some tough times, but the foundation is there, and I hope it continues to be.
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Christine
Mom to my circus of boys: G-1/06, D-1/04, S-4/10
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CrunchyMom
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SallyT wrote:
The other "if I'm moved to doubt God's grace" part of the story has to do with origins. My husband is adopted, but it was only after we were married that we discovered, quite by accident, that my mother, who had been a DHS social worker before her marriage, had overseen his adoption. Her very distinctive signature is on all these papers allowing his family to take him out of state on vacation, back then in 1962-3. Weird much?
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Very.
My husband is from the same county in Michigan where my Dad was raised! My Dad moved to Alabama his senior year of high school, and I was raised and lived there until I graduated from college. I met my husband on the East Coast! My dad's first cousin was my husband's BIL's first grade teacher, and my dad's best friend from high school is another BIL's boss. Not quite so personally weird, but it really is a small world, isn't it!!! Those are the little connections that make you think it was all part of a great plan
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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mamaslearning
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CrunchyMom wrote:
I do believe in miracles and happy endings, but I don't always feel like sharing my own happy story would be especially helpful to someone who is struggling. It isn't as if they can start over with different criteria for picking their spouse, and finding peace in a marriage where the two people don't understand or agree with each other will be a very different kind of story from my own. I don't always feel that my story would be appreciated by someone who is bitter or unhappy. And my story is precious to me. To share it with those who might mock it is a great risk, yk?
So, perhaps this is part of why people with happy marriages don't share so much as the unhappy people?
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I feel similar in that the things that make our marriage work were borne of a deep friendship and mutual understandings, plus a lot of premarital work (talks about everything) and very subdued personalities. I often feel that if I share our story I might seem "holier than thou" because my path is very different from most people that I know. YKWIM?
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Lara
DD 11, DS 8, DS 6, DS 4
St. Francis de Sales Homeschool
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Erin
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Stef
Well happy story here I'm married to my best friend and am madly in love. I always prayed that I would meet and marry a man who would be my best friend, I remember sharing with a family member that was my goal and she said, "nice dream but unlikely" (isn't that so sad?) well I did indeed marry my Prince Charming (hence his blog name  )
From the age of 13 I prayed 3 Hail Mary;s every night for my purity, for my future spouse and for his family. I can remember a time in Grade 11 that I had this continual urge to pray for him even in the playground, so annoying, later I discovered this was a time he really needed my prayers, so always important to listen to those 'promptings'.
anyhow through the Grace of God we meet, we both belonged to Rural Youth (4H) but in neighbouring towns, so we would never have meet locally, we were in Sydney on a State event at a dinner. Some fellow members knew we were both from large families and put us at the table together with the comment, "you both have lots in common." Truth is he says he knew from the moment he met me I was the one, I was oblivious, I had travel plans in mind.
I was 19 , he 23 when we met. We started courting just before my 20th, I had never dated before as I had a list yeah corny I know but I was just picky anyhow we were engaged 6mths later and married a further 6 months just before my 21st and his 25th.
Let's see, we were both practising Catholics from large Catholic families, yet our family cultures are quite different, whilst both Australian, just different. So that has been a challenge at times.
We are quite different personalities and have different interests and yet we both are totally the same on core fundamental beliefs and approaches. Our strength I believe is in communication and we are both strong empathisers. The secret is to focus on strengths.
We're more in love today than when we married, and very excited that our 2oth anniversary is next month (Dec 12th!!!)
I thank God for my husband daily as a happy marriage is a miracle and one I don't take for granted at all (yeah story there). I truly, truly am blessed. Now if you want something really soppy Stef, I wrote a post a while back Unsung Hero, My Hero in honour of my husband and other godly men like him.
Off to read your post and the other comments above
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Erin
Faith Filled Days
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stefoodie
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Lara, your words rang true with me as well. My hubby fills in the gap -- where I'm missing he fills in, and vice versa. With regards to temperament we're complete opposites, but that's what makes it work. Our pre-cana score was almost perfect, it shocked our parish priest. He said that was rare. But by that time we had talked about almost everything a couple could possibly talk about (2 years of dating, after 2 months of courtship). (Of course there were surprises in store for us, but we did well for starters. )
We talked about divorce as well, early on -- and hubby firmly said that the word would never be part of our vocabulary.
To be honest I'd never really thought of him as soulmate either until the conversation came up! But i always thought God made him for me!
Hm. I met at hubby at 19 as well. Wonder if meeting your husband in your youth could be a factor? (I hope more will chime in, even if just to disprove this! )
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Claire, I do believe God played a part as well in just our meeting! We went to the same university in the Philippines but his last semester was my first, and we never met there. Instead we met on the other side of the globe, in St. Louis. He was doing his master's and I was waiting to continue my undergrad. I do believe it happened for a reason. I would never have given him a second glance had we met at our Philippine uni (I had eyes for someone else) and neither would he (he dated someone for 5 1/2 years and thought she was the one, until she broke up with him).
And I am amazed at the stories that are intertwined with a journey to Catholicism as well. I've seen those here and with local friends. Beautiful and inspiring!!
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Thanks, Sally. Well, when I met my husband, my first thought was, what a smug, arrogant dude. Wonder of wonders, he turned out to be the most humble man I know, and I'm not even exaggerating, people around us say it too. That was one time first impressions didn't amount to anything AT ALL. :)
Thanks for sharing, ladies. It's so great to read good news like this. 
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stef
mom to five
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stefoodie
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I was over at this thread on marriage and hubby/wife relationship/communication and still thinking about this thread and re-reading here....
CrunchyMom wrote:
| When people share frustrations in their marriage, and I don't just mean the more troubled marriages, it seems wrong to speak of how little I struggle with those particular things. We're neither of us perfect, but sometimes I really think I married Prince Charming To share that feels sort of like rubbing the salt into the wounds of those whose marriage is so much harder than my own. |
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Yes, this!! I felt like I was doing exactly this, and yet something in me rebelled against it. Why, why, why are there not enough of us speaking about our happy marriages? There's nothing wrong with having a happy marriage. And I think that part of it is that we have bought into the lie that most marriages are going to be sucky anyway (think all the divorce stats you see, or all the reports of infidelity, or abuse, or dysfunction) that not letting people know they could actually have a great, happy, even a fairy-tale kind of marriage is HELPING them.
I think about the anti-life arguments of well, the kids are going to _(fill in the blank)_ anyway, so let's just tell teach them this or that, to PROTECT them and so they can protect themselves.
SallyT wrote:
| and also he was manifestly smarter than I was -- and I was pretty arrogant about my own brain, so much so that I'm amazed that anyone could stand me |
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Heh, so me.
SallyT wrote:
| If ever I'm moved to doubt God's grace . . . |
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See, here's another point where I ran into difficulty talking to people. I am so convinced that my spouse is God's gift to me, and somehow that just triggered something negative in people, and several pointed out that we are the architects of our own lives, that we are a product of our choices, etc., which while I don't completely disagree with those viewpoints, there is no way I can accept that God didn't put me where I was and didn't put my hubby where he was 25 years ago when we first met. It's just waaaay too coincidental and providential for me to believe otherwise, and things happened that were so out of our control that on some level I will always believe, no matter what people say, that God was the #1 reason why we met when we met.
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stef
mom to five
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stefoodie
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Christine wrote:
| The truth was that he met every single one of my criteria: smart, compatible sense of humor, sincere, cute, Catholic, practical & careful about money, steady provider so I could be a SAHM. |
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This is me too, Christine!! I made a list when I was 17 of what "my perfect spouse" would be. God gave me every single one, save two (which were non-essentials, such as the ability to write songs with me ) but I believe in a God that answers prayers, and He knows my every need -- and so while some of our prayers go unanswered, or even when we get a NO, the only real explanation for me is because He knows what's best for us and He knows what we'll need to get to Heaven.
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stef
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mamaslearning
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In responding to this thread about husbands being best friends, I began to have a thought form about the "why people don't share happy stories".
I tend to feel that I have to put a disclaimer on my thoughts about marriage because I'm afraid that someone is going to infer that I don't understand that there are people that just can't be together as a couple (abuse, etc.). So I don't share very often because I don't want people to feel judged by me.
Does that make sense?
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Lara
DD 11, DS 8, DS 6, DS 4
St. Francis de Sales Homeschool
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JodieLyn
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It makes sense Lara.
Another point I find is that it's not a lot of help for people to say you have a happy marriage. I can just imagine them saying "well goodie for you".. but really all that leaves them to suppose is that you "lucked out" or managed to "get a good one".
I think what's hard is trying to express that a good marriage can be made but that it takes hard work by both husband and wife AND that it's not the constant euphoria of "falling in love".
Actually, I think it's the Love Languages book that has a great description of just that and how that isn't what true love is. hmmmm I think I need to go find that and reread it and see if there's something there that might help talk about having a happy marriage..
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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saigemom
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Hm. I met at hubby at 19 as well. Wonder if meeting your husband in your youth could be a factor? (I hope more will chime in, even if just to disprove this! )
I met dh when I was 16. We started dating when I was 18 and he was 23 and became engaged 1 month later. I think meeting young was important. We have had all our true adult years together. Neither of us was moving into someone else's home- all of our homes have been ours. We were truly building a life together and not trying to decide whose life to fit into.
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Help! Marriage Stories of HOPE, Please
