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Barb.b
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Posted: Oct 02 2012 at 6:02pm | IP Logged Quote Barb.b

OK - Great idea someone had on the shattered ideals topic of starting a clothes topic - so yes shattered ideals about our wardrobe, shopping . . .

I HATE shopping! I am 50 and everything out there is for a barbie doll 20 year old! I think related is my shattered ideal of my body weight! I am healthy, not what someone would look at and call fat. Maybe curved? Well, I could lose 15 - 20 lbs to be my "ideal" weight. I feel "frumpy!"

No time to shop. Hard to find time to exercise (OK - I can exercise 1st thing in the morning - but then no time to shower ). And if I do shop - I can't find anything to wear!

My main outfit: jeans (worn out at the knees) and some sort of tee shirt!

I have no style. So : shattered ideal of - I am 50 and should have some sort of personal clothing style. . . .

Oh - thats was cathartic . . .

Anyone want to join in. . . .
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JodieLyn
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Posted: Oct 02 2012 at 6:13pm | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

Well, it's been shattered for a lot longer but I've always hoped to be able to find clothes that fit reasonably well. My body shape was much more "in" about 70+years ago.. when I'm thin.. I'm sorry to say but it's easier to find clothing when I'm overweight than otherwise. Though! one benefit is if I do lose weight having shopped plus sized stores some of them do go small enough that I could be "thin" and still use them and get a better fit in some styles.

But it still bothers me that I can't find something nice to wear. And then I've been pregnant and/or nursing for the last 15 yrs.. I actually have a dress that I may be able to wear this winter (nice one) that does not have nursing access It feels very daring.

Oh dear.. gotta run.. back with more in a bit.

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CrunchyMom
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Posted: Oct 02 2012 at 6:41pm | IP Logged Quote CrunchyMom

Well, I don't have a hard time finding flattering clothes. Proportionally, I'm built so that I can find things more easily than some. I tend to gain weight in my hips, so an A-line skirt is flattering, and I'm not very endowed, so button up shirts don't gape and also hide many sins

Still, the styles today are not often my preferred. And when I do buy clothes, I often buy what is practical, not what is my favorite. I've gotten other people's hand me downs over the years. It is nice, but it is somewhat discouraging to wear colors that aren't especially flattering or patterns that aren't conducive to your tastes. I got some dresses from one of dh's coworkers just last week, and when I tried them on, my boys thought I looked strange. Granted, I don't buy dresses like these because the window in which they can be worn is so small when one nurses, but it was a little sad for my boys to think I looked funny in "pretty" dresses, even if they are just 6 and 8

And we won't even discuss the months spent in maternity clothes over the years. WHAT HAPPENED to that industry???       Crazy stuff.

I was just telling dh this week that I feel guilty wearing my "nice" clothes when at home because they'll get ruined so much faster, and yet, I wish that I could afford to wear nicer things at home that made me feel a little more together and not so frumpy.

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JodieLyn
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Posted: Oct 02 2012 at 7:15pm | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

Lindsay, I found that there are a few styles in plus sized clothing that make much better maternity clothes than maternity clothes.. that's how I made it through. I loved the trapeze or babydoll style tops (these come to mid-thigh or even close to my knee) with leggings.

I try not to keep handmedowns that aren't a good color or such.. but it is a lot harder to get things that work.

Then I was thinking.. I started doing some sewing for the black powder rendezvous and I could make myself some things.. but then I run into the... but what should I make? I haven't bought patterns for makign myself clothes for 10 yrs.. What do 40 yr olds wear when they have toddlers to teens and are run off their feet with homeschooling and scoutinig? I like both skirts and pants.. but the skirts are all elastic waist (better for adjusting up to maternity and down from birth) but they're long skirts.. which I like but I'm thinking maybe somewhat shorter would be better now.. I get down on the floor or up on ladders and such a lot less often with big kids who do that stuff for me.. and I could take some off the bottom of the skirt and make a waistband for the skirt.. but then I think.. but if I lose at least some of the weight I want to lose.. they won't fit if I do it now, but do I want to wait until later?

I think I'm liking the button up shirts with the nice shirttail edge that looks good untucked.. as long as they're not too long those would work nicely with jeans and with skirts.. and look a little on the nicer side than basic tees do.

What do you wear anyway? I just don't know and I'm really wanting to get some nicer things but even then i'm not sure what I mean by nicer.. no I mean thigs that make me feel pretty and not just sorta lumpy.. which is the way the tees are makign me feel lately.

(please forgive the typos.. the laptop seems to need the keyboard blown out a bit )

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Posted: Oct 02 2012 at 7:17pm | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

oh one last thing.. I realized that at the black powder rendezvous I basically gave little thought to if I looked thin in my period clothing. I really thought about that for a while. And decided that it was because it was more important to "look right" than "look thin" so things that I would think UGH for my regular clothes.. were simply the right look for the time period and it was good. Wow.. and I didn't even think I worried THAT much about it.

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Posted: Oct 02 2012 at 11:54pm | IP Logged Quote Erin

I'm not a gal who enjoys shopping (unless I get a great deal and then I'm happy ) I've really got to be in the mood, don;t find it hard to shop for the kids but find it hard to make decisions regards me.

But...well I'm having a mid life crisis or something because all of a sudden I'm becoming Imelda Marcos! In the past month I have purchased 5 pairs of shoes, admittedly they were only a $1-$5!! But I've always thought more than 4 pairs in my wardrobe was overkill. Now I'm blithely buying shoes, high heels too. My dh is baffled. I have metallic blue, pink and plum pairs as I don't have clothes to match I may have to rethink my clothes shopping phobia     

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pumpkinmom
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Posted: Oct 03 2012 at 8:04am | IP Logged Quote pumpkinmom

Where are your favorite places to purchase clothing? I don't know what my style is, but I would love to find cute shirts (knee or just below knee length, feminine patterns or light colors). I normally wear jeans and a cotton tee shirt.

My problems with clothes shopping include lacking of funding, nothing but the big common box stores in our area that rarely have things I like or my size, and I'm between sizes (one to small and the next is too big). I can't find pants to fit me anymore.

My closet is almost empty! I've started to decline invites outside the home from lack of things to wear. I wear jeans and a t-shirt to church! HELP!

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Posted: Oct 03 2012 at 9:26am | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

oh for pretty skirts you need to look at Cold Water Creek Don't let the prices shock you.. hop over to their outlet (link on the page) and check it out.. $100 skirts on sale for $35 (or less)

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CrunchyMom
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Posted: Oct 03 2012 at 9:48am | IP Logged Quote CrunchyMom

I think that a good starting place for figuring out where to start building a wardrobe is It's So You

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Posted: Oct 03 2012 at 10:18am | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

oh Lindsay, that's on my list for my girls this Christmas.. wonder if I can get it early and sneak some peeks

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Betsy
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Posted: Oct 03 2012 at 10:29am | IP Logged Quote Betsy

CrunchyMom wrote:
I think that a good starting place for figuring out where to start building a wardrobe is It's So You


I was going to recommend this as well! It's a great place to start!


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Posted: Oct 03 2012 at 10:38am | IP Logged Quote Betsy

...sorry for the double post.....


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Chris V
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Posted: Oct 04 2012 at 1:50am | IP Logged Quote Chris V

I'm with you Barb, I'm not one for shopping. I haven't been to a mall in *years* and I would never just "go shopping" for the pleasure of it. But, that said, if I know what I want, or have something particular in mind, it can be fun to hunt it down and find the best deal for what I'm looking for.

I have to admit, I *care* about what I look like. Always have. Probably always will. I care about the clothes I wear, about how my hair looks, and having the right accessories for what I'm wearing that day. It's a little less that way when I know I'm just going to be just at home all day, but if I'm going out and about I will definitely make an extra effort to piece myself together.

I like the way it makes me feel. I can be 20 lbs overweight postpardum, but if I take the time in taking care of myself that day, I feel good about myself despite not looking the way I want (weight-wise). And it's not only for me, it's for my husband too. We women are the ones that gain and lose weight like a yo-yo while pregnant, nursing, and inbetween babies, not our husbands - the change in appearance can leave us insecure about how we look to our spouses. After all, they don't go through the dramatic changes in physique that we do.

I know that I probably sound vain, and maybe I am (just a bit), but in a healthy way not in a way that would be a detriment to my own salvation . I want to take care of myself for the sake of myself and my own feeling of self-worth (which, for me, is all related in appearance). I can tell myself that weight doesn't matter over and over again, but guess what ... it does. It does matter. Soooooo, that relates to clothes, bigtime.

After my first baby was born I told myself that I wasn't going to go out and buy a bunch of clothes that fit my postpardum body, that I would keep my pre-pregnancy clothes in the top of my drawer as a motiviation for losing the baby weight. I did just that - but I also realized that I would never feel good about myself if I forced myself to squeeze into something that just didn't fit anymore. So I invested some hard earned dollars into expanding my post pardum wardrobe with clothes that fit right. What a difference this has made! It's not as though I'm becoming comfortable with the interim weight, *but* having clothes that fit properly (no matter what weight you are) is really key in making you feel attractive. And if you feel attractive, you act attractive - confidence *is* attractive.

Knowing my body type I can stick with certain styles, shapes, and lengths that accentuate my assets, and minimize my faults (or what I perceive to be my faults). For example, the swoop neck shirt - whether this be a sweather, a no-collar cartigan, a cotton tee, or a silk camisol undershirt - all of these are very unflatterning on me. So I don't buy them. I look much better in a V-neck, or a square-neck (I love square necks - so attractive on so many people, yet you don't see them much!). Another example is - I buy sweater cartigans or light jackets that sit at my hip. This length helps to give a narrow appearance to your waist (particularly if you are wearing a full-length skirt) . And I avoid the overly-long sweaters, jackets, or shirts (that seems to be the trend now, the long sweaters) ... well, if you're shorter (like me) they can make you look squatty. No good. I wouldn't buy them even if they are all the rage. If it doesn't look good on you, don't buy it, don't wear it, no matter what.

Just a digression - I absolutely hate the fabrics that clothing manufacturers are using these days - you know what I'm talking about - the clingy, thin-feeling fabric that hangs off your body?! It's AWFUL!!!! ... will be so glad when this fad passes.

I also layer. I will buy a few attractive tank tops in a variety of colors, to be worn underneath a fashionable button-down shirt. Easy. But you can also dress this up with a cute pair of dangly earrings and a light floral-pattern scarf - pull your hair back to accentuate the scarf . Or wear your hair down while wearing a lovely long necklace that draps your blouse. ... easy things to do to dress-up or dress-down.

Looking attractive doesn't have to cost a lot. I think the key is to buy a few staple items that you can work with, and really, the accessories go a long way in making your clothes look well coordinated and pieced together.

Wow. Apparently I have a lot to say about this particular subject. ...I'm hearing crickets chirping in the background ... anyone still reading at this point?

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Posted: Oct 04 2012 at 5:56am | IP Logged Quote SeaStar

Chris,

I am honestly cannot understand why you don't like today's fashions.
Doesn't orange and turquoise polyester paisley look good on you?
Maybe you'd prefer orange and brown combined- there is a lot of that around, too.

Long and narrow tops, clingy polyester- or my very least favorite:
shirts with wide bands at the bottom- when will they go away?

The banded shirts just scream Grandma to me- and how many of us really want an extra band of gathered fabric around our hips?    

Now I may be extra grouchy today because I have been wearing the same clothes since March: capri pants/knee length skirt with a short sleeve shirt and sandals. Nary a sweater or even a long sleeve shirt. The past two days have been 85 degrees with 100% humidity. October, where are you??


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Posted: Oct 04 2012 at 7:25am | IP Logged Quote Barb.b

Well I never had trouble with post baby weight. Always came off with in 6 weeks - I DO exercise, I said it is hard finding the time (So I make it - its just hard). Oh - I keep in shape for myself - not my husband - I got over THAT a long time ago!

I didn't express myself well in my first post. I thik our society has this ideal of flat stomach, skinny model type bodies for everyone. When I calculate BMI, body weight and body fat I am considered healthy. I am within a healthy weight range - my comment was trying to relate to the topic idea of "shattered ideals". So I'm 50. No matter what weight you are in your 30's - no matter how much you exercise - you will be a bit more at 50. So, enjoy blaming any extra weight you have on babies - cause you don't have that excuse forever! Just the facts of changing hormones, and metabolism. (oh I won't mention "shattered ideals" about skin (get older and yes - your skin freckles weird even when you have sun screen on) or sore knee. . . )

I think my beef is - those ugly fabrics and patterns. I didn't mean to give the impression I was overweight (I'm not) or I don't know what I like. Even jeans - I hate: jeggins, skinny jeans AND boot legs today look like flairs! I like staight leg jeans. Probably because back in the olden days when I was a teen and in my 20's thats what everyone wore! I also look better in straight legs. BUt true straight leg jeans are a dinosaur! Also my "t shirts" are pretty patterns t shirts - some from JC penney, others from talbots (when they have a sale).

Barb

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Posted: Oct 04 2012 at 7:42am | IP Logged Quote Barb.b

Oh - for you gals not 50 yet hear is a quote from Livestrong confirming somethings:

Aging causes loss in lean body mass, or muscle, which is responsible for a declining metabolic rate. Because women tend to have less muscle mass, they also burn fewer calories per day than men. Additionally, since resting metabolism slows with age, older women can have a harder time losing weight. Losing weight after you turn 50 may be more challenging due to a slowing metabolism -- but it can be done with commitment.

Ah - its not all bad - there are plusses to being 50! Anyway - off for a power walk!
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Posted: Oct 04 2012 at 10:25am | IP Logged Quote CrunchyMom

I think it is pretty safe to say that whether you are battling weight from babies or aging metabolism, have a particular complexion, prefer natural fibers, or just plain want your clothes to last any length of time when you do invest, the fashion industry earns a big FAIL in helping the typically size/shaped woman find clothes that are modest and attractive. I never thought it would be so hard to dress well, even in a simple way.

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Posted: Oct 04 2012 at 11:08am | IP Logged Quote pumpkinmom

Barb.b wrote:


My main outfit: jeans (worn out at the knees) and some sort of tee shirt!

I have no style. So : shattered ideal of - I am 50 and should have some sort of personal clothing style. . . .


I could have written this myself! (Except the age is 35.)

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Posted: Oct 04 2012 at 11:23am | IP Logged Quote pumpkinmom

CrunchyMom wrote:
I think it is pretty safe to say that whether you are battling weight from babies or aging metabolism, have a particular complexion, prefer natural fibers, or just plain want your clothes to last any length of time when you do invest, the fashion industry earns a big FAIL in helping the typically size/shaped woman find clothes that are modest and attractive. I never thought it would be so hard to dress well, even in a simple way.


So true! Why does is have to be so hard? The industry makes one style and thinks everyone can wear it. What looks good in a size 6 doesn't look good in a size 16. It seems like the industry has lost touch with reality.

I have been watching old tv shows from the early 60s and the woman all look so nice! Even in black and white. The size 6 woman has a wonderful fitting skirt and shirt and the size 16 woman has a completely different style and she looks wonderful in her great fitting skirt and shirt too. I want that!

I get depressed just thinking about shopping! I know I will spend all day driving around and most likely won't find anything.

Maybe we should start a clothing revolution!    (Did I mention this is what I feel like when I go clothes shopping. Like a silly dancing banana!)

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Posted: Oct 04 2012 at 11:38am | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

Cassie, even if you don't want to buy things online, you might want to spend time on the websites of any store you could walk into.. then you'd know which stores to try first and what sorts of things you might find. Though in some cases the online stores have more than the walk in stores.

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