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JuliaW
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Posted: Sept 04 2012 at 10:25am | IP Logged Quote JuliaW

I'm rather new to this forum, although I have read it regularly for several months now. I am curious though as to what your individual reasons are for homeschooling your kids. My in-laws are totally against homeschooling and seem to think that my homeschooled kids will be socially warped for life because of it. Only my husband is supportive which is all that really matters in the long run.

For me personally, it is mostly about politics and how the public school system is run. The way the teachers unions protect unqualified teachers only because they have tenure. The way they are always begging for money as if that will solve everything. The average public school in this country receives nearly 10k per year, per student. I could send 3 kids to a nearby private school for that much. The standards public school teachers are held to are much too low. I know in many other countries, a general degree in education won't cut it. You have to have a degree in the subject that you teach instead. Imagine your child having a math teacher who actually has a degree in mathematics!

I did send my kids to a private school for 6 years, but since I am no longer working we cannot afford tuition. My husband doesn't make very much; just paying the bills is difficult nowadays.

Anyways, two of my kids are going to public school this year; my oldest wanted to play football, and my 5 year old has speech issues. I felt it would help him a lot to receive speech therapy and be around kids his own age. Last night, we went over to my in-laws house and they were patting my oldest and five year old on the back, telling them how proud they were for being in a real school now. Then they'd tell me what a fool I am for still homeschooling my 4th and 5th grader. Those poor kids are going to be warped for life!

I would just love to hear your reasons for homeschooling, and why you have chosen it over public and private schools. I'll check back later; need to go get my kids started on some work. They are waiting for me.
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jawgee
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Posted: Sept 04 2012 at 10:55am | IP Logged Quote jawgee

We homeschool for many reasons, but it really is about these three:

Faith
Family Togetherness
Flexibility

My oldest was in school until 3rd grade. We began homeschooling last year before he moved to a bigger school and before my younger son started full-day K (which I think it way too long for 5 and 6YOs).

You mentioned your 5YO has speech problems. I wanted to share my story:

My younger son was in speech for three years. The school system wanted to fully enroll him in their preschool and bus him to and from school, but then admitted to me that he would only be receiving one hour of speech per week. I chose, instead, to homeschool him and bring him in to the school for the one hour each week when he met one-on-one with the speech therapist.

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Posted: Sept 04 2012 at 11:01am | IP Logged Quote Aagot

Wow Julia, I was going to make some comment about your luck in the in-law department but then ... why comment on the obvious How frustrating!

Not that anything will really convince them but there are many teachers who homeschool because they know what is out there. I am a certified teacher and after a few years in both PS and private, I knew that would not be for my kids.

Here are some of my reasons:
1. I love my kids and want to spend as much time with them as possible. They are only under my roof for a short time, why waste it.
2. HS gives me the freedom to choose what I feel are the best materials and methods for my kids. So many teachers are extremely frustrated by the fact that a committee decides what curriculum to use, they change the curriculum frequently so the teachers never have a chance to really get comfortable with it.
3. Time is not wasted on administrative paperwork(countless assessments!), discipline issues, waiting for everyone to be on the right page etc.90% of the instructional time at school is really spent on these things.
4. More opportunities to follow interests. More time to be outside exploring. More down time to really develope an interior life.
5. One on one tutoring verses 1:30. Because of this my kids can go at their own pace. They don't have to wait for others to catch up and they don't have to be behind and stressed out if it takes longer to get a concept.

If you are looking for a boost of confidence, read "Weapons of Mass Instruction". You will have no doubt about why you are doing what you are.I am sure others here could give you a list of great reads too.

Best wishes!
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Posted: Sept 04 2012 at 2:45pm | IP Logged Quote kristinannie

First of all, I am so sorry about your inlaws. Since your husband supports this decision, I think that he needs to talk to them. They should be free to have their opinions, but they should not be saying things like that in front of the kids. I have a less aggressive, but similar situation so .

Honestly, I had never considered homeschooling. My oldest went to preschool and pre-K. I was extremely disillusioned with pre-K (they exclusively taught sight words and did busywork all the time...also there was a bully in the class that was not dealt with at all ).

I felt like God was leading up to something big in my life. I talked to my husband and told him that we were going to need to do it, whatever it was. The next day, God revealed it to me: homeschooling. I was shocked! I started doing research and it didn't take me long to see that this was the best situation for my family.

I absolutely love the flexibility. We school year round and can take days off whenever we want. We go on vacation out of season, take sun days in the winter instead of snow days, have plenty of time for fun field trips. Plus, we are learning as a family. I cannot tell you how much my 4.5 and 2 year old pick up just from being in the room while I am working with my 6 year old. It is a family lifestyle and I wouldn't change it for anything.

I love being able to school the way I feel the kids should learn. I love the CM methods. They are simple, yet effective. Plus, I can make virtue and faith a cornerstone of our education, not a footnote.

As others have said, I love the flexibility in curricula as well. Finding that perfect fit for each child is such a blessing. Each child is an individual person and no two children are exactly the same. Their education needs to take their needs into consideration.

Mostly, I love the extra time we have. Most of my friends with kids in school are much busier than I am. We have plenty of time to play outside, go on hikes, play games as a family, sing together, etc. My kids have more time to explore their worlds on their own. They have more time to contemplate and to just be. They aren't scheduled every minute from morning until night. I also feel like we have time for more extra-curricular activities because they have so much free time during the day. Plus, we get to spend time on picture study, composer study, nature study, history, geography, etc. The public schools basically do the 3 R's in 1st grade.

So, I obviously think that homeschooling is awesome. I actually think that a lot more people would love the homeschooling lifestyle, but it is so hard to take that plunge (especially when there are family situations like your inlaws). I have so many friends who hate sending their kids to school. They know the system is failing their kids and that their kids are miserable. Homeschooling is not for everyone. It is a way of life and it is time consuming, but honestly I cannot see another way of life for my family.

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Chris V
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Posted: Sept 04 2012 at 4:05pm | IP Logged Quote Chris V

Good question! Although, not easy to answer because for most, there are just so many reasons why they are homeschooling. I love reading the responses, we are all so varied and unique - that really is the beauty with homeschooling.

I could probably subtitle my post "The top 100 reasons why I homeschool" (suggesting of course, that there are more than 100, which, if I actually took the time to write a list, there probably would be). But more to the point, and really what says it all, is - I homeschool because both public schools and private schools do meet (or even come close) to the ideals that I have for my children and the life I want us to live as a family. I have a vision! And it can only be met at home .

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Posted: Sept 04 2012 at 5:57pm | IP Logged Quote Chris V

**that should read "do NOT" meet...

but, you probably figured that out

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Posted: Sept 04 2012 at 6:27pm | IP Logged Quote ekbell

At this point of time my main reason for homeschooling is the flexibility.

My husband can work 3:30pm to midnight and still see his children during the week    We can go cross country to a wedding the Friday after labour day.
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Posted: Sept 05 2012 at 5:57am | IP Logged Quote Becky Parker

A lot of people ask me why we homeschool since I am a former classroom teacher. Really, I could come up with 100 reasons why we do, like Chris, but those who are apposed to homeschooling will think of a reason to shoot down everything I say. (I love the "how are the kids going to be immune to diseases if they aren't exposed to them?" argument!!! ) Of course, there are also days when it's hard to think of even 1 reason as to why we are doing this!     Thank the Lord those are few and far between. I think the bottom line for me though is that it is a calling. I really believe God calls some of us to homeschool and he can use whatever means are effective to help us reach that calling. Because of that, sometimes it's just really hard to explain why. I simply say to my inlaws or brother or whomever is questioning, "It's the way we believe God wants us to educate our children, and so far it's working better than we could have imagined."

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Posted: Sept 05 2012 at 7:19am | IP Logged Quote SallyT

I have some of those relatives, too, though it has gotten somewhat better over the years.

We started homeschooling for academic reasons, as well as reasons of flexibility and family time. Our then-8/9-year-old was having a bad year in school, I could see her spiralling into demotivation and defeat, and what she was supposed to be learning in school, and wasn't, was mostly twaddle -- we had kept saying to ourselves, "Well, this is *okay* . . . and we'll supplement at home . . . " Gradually it caught up to us that her teachers were thanking us for "giving her so much" at home, and that this was code for "because really she's not learning much here," and we began to wonder why we didn't eliminate this pain-in-the-neck middleman altogether. Her last year in school (which was coincidentally our last year of living in England, so these were English state schools), her next brother down was starting school, and after some wonderful nursery-school experiences was finding himself ostracized on the playground (by other five-year-olds) because he "knew too much." We were moving back to the US anyway in the summer of that year, so we decided that as part of the whole package, we just weren't going back to school.

We also had just had a baby, and had another on the way. Our experience, while our older children were still in school, was that they led almost completely separate lives from the baby, and this seemed not right. Now they all probably sometimes wish they lived more separate lives (!), but I think it's far better for them to have to interact all day and get along than it would be for them to interact largely with age-peers to whom they're not related. Anyway, the babies were also a great catalyst for our deciding to homeschool.

That decision happened nine years ago. We weren't Catholic at the time, and religious reasons really didn't enter the picture all that much. I'd say that our reasons are still pretty much the same (except that I have to remind myself of what our school experience was like, because some days it seems kind of tempting to send my youngers), with the caveat that homeschooling also makes it easier for us to practice our faith together as a family, and for the kids to make their Catholicism an active, daily, constant part of their lives without having to be on the defensive all the time. I don't equate going to school with loss of faith -- my oldest daughter's best friend, for example, comes from an amazing Catholic family whose kids all go to our local public schools, so I guess I don't really *fear* the schools on that level all that much. I just think that homeschooling is a way to have education work *with* your family as you try to live the faith.

Part of that, though, really is battling cultural amnesia, which is probably the greater reason for our continuing to homeschool (wrote about it here, for the Homeschooling High School blog carnival, but most of this applies just as easily to my third grader as to my ninth grader). Homeschool for us is about nurturing a Catholic culture, with as much emphasis on culture as on Catholic, because the one built the other, and somebody's got to sustain it.

Plus, I really like lazing around the breakfast table with whichever kid happens to be up . . . These mornings when Mass isn't till 6 pm are golden.

Sally

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Posted: Sept 05 2012 at 7:43am | IP Logged Quote Erin

Gee so tough to answer without writing an essay. Also the reasons we began over 15yrs ago are not all of the reasons we continue today.

Short answer,
- We are committed to a Catholic Education
- Family Bonds
- Mothering, I don't want to miss 'those' moments, I want to be there when my little one learns to read.., to share in the joy
- Freedom to be 'True to Oneself' not to conform because of peer pressure. To have a strong self-identity and confidence.
- Academically, The ability to cater to individual pace and interest

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Posted: Sept 05 2012 at 8:27am | IP Logged Quote JennGM

I have always wanted to homeschool, since I had a wonderful experience in high school being homeschooled a few years. When I discovered Charlotte Mason's approach to education is literature based, I couldn't wait!

My main reason would echo Erin's excellent list.

A few other positives:

--flexibility -- like right now we're in the middle of the painting project and school can't start. We travel and do field trips anytime. We go to the beach during the school year.

--money saved. There are some Catholic schools that MIGHT work around here, but we love saving the money.

--less stress on me for allergies. I know schools can accommodate food allergy needs, but they don't have that awareness for the one child like I will at home. Too many children and too many uncontrolled factors can wreak havoc on allergies. I have often thought that if I would choose homeschooling for this reason if I had the only other choice to do public schools. But I would never do public schools, so it's kind of a non-issue.

My in-laws didn't understand homeschooling. My MIL at the beginning seemed very negative. But she has seen how wonderful my son is doing, the social requirements are met, he gets involved with sports, doing well academically... She is on board.

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Posted: March 05 2013 at 12:39pm | IP Logged Quote Barbara C.

I initially decided to homeschool because it allows kids to be treated as an individual with individual strengths, weaknesses, and interests. I just felt the quality of education would be better.

Some of my other top reasons include:
1) Getting to sleep in.   
2) Family togetherness.
3) Supervising/teaching proper social skills.
4) Cooperative learning.
5) Insuring an orthodox Catholic education.

We did put my oldest daughter in our local Catholic school this year (with financial help from family and the parish). Due to our situation of being a one vehicle family I just was not able to give her the social opportunities that she needed. (She is an extreme extrovert.)

I also suspect that she has Sensory Processing Disorder. Being at home was good for her at first, but she reached a point where she needed more structure and certain types of stimuli that I just was unable to provide for her at home.

It has good points and bad points. I feel like she is getting more of what she NEEDS, but I really hope that by high school she won't have such a pressing need and will return to homeschooling. Thankfully our parish school is headed by the Nashville Dominicans, so I feel a bit better about the orthodoxy of the school.

However, my younger girls are still being homeschooled and we don't see any need to put them in school. My first grader gets a little jealous of some of the opportunities her big sister gets at school, but she said that she doesn't want to go to school because she couldn't wear her pajamas all day or have as much time to play with her younger sisters.   

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Posted: March 05 2013 at 1:02pm | IP Logged Quote Barb.b

The short answer is: because I can tailor my kids education to their needs - and you can't beat the 1:1 ratio. Also, I think it is a much better way to go the mass producing education and having everyone in the same class do the same thing. Another thing - I want to be the main influence in my kids life!

My advice to the inlays - tell them to keep their opinion to themselves - OR tell you privately. Tell them that it doesn't matter if they disagree with your decisions and under no circumstances should they praise 2 of your kids and tell the others that homeschooling them is foolish. One really does at time need to set boundaries with negative family members!

Honestly - some family members will never come around (and if they do won't admit it!). So, sometimes it is best to tell them:"if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all!"

Barb
PS - one reasons that KEEPS me homeschooling - my oldest is a VERY successful student at Purdue university! And I homeschooled him from 2nd grade all the way through high school!
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Posted: March 05 2013 at 1:27pm | IP Logged Quote amyable

When I was in high school, I first heard about homeschooling and thought it would be great (I wanted to learn at my own pace and not deal with cliques, bullying etc).

So when my firstborn had multiple anaphylactic food allergies and her private preschool refused to help keep her safe (I wasn't asking for a ban on her allergens, just to not have an open vat of peanut butter there for the 4yo kids to eat whenever they wanted snack)... I decided to homeschool. I figured if a usually helpful preschool wouldn't help us, how much harder would it be in the public schools?? (This was before it was more common to have peanut bans, etc)

Since then, we keep homeschooling because:

  • one dd is "twice exceptional" and another is far ahead and we can go at their pace
  • I think being surrounded by family all day is MUCH healthier than surrounded by peers ... it's so "dog eat dog" out there
  • we can learn what we want to some extent, especially being able to teach religion, and teach it as much as we want. Even the local Catholic high schools don't "live Catholicism" like we do, and honestly we don't do HALF as much as most of you reading this


It would also be cost prohibitive to send all our kids to private school, and from what I hear from teachers around here (several of whom homeschool their own children) the kids are much better off at home. We almost sent our 9th grader to the local high school this year for a few different reasons. Her first day would have been either on lockdown or terrorized (or worse) in the cafeteria because a boy brought a gun to school in an attempted murder/suicide. I know, it could happen anywhere ... but it would have been her first day of school EVER. It really sealed the deal for us. We are still considering private school, but they are like two different animals around here.

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Posted: March 05 2013 at 3:51pm | IP Logged Quote mamaslearning

Faith! Most morals/faith are "caught not taught", so if they are surrounded by things that are contrary to our beliefs, then they will be confused. Until they have a solid foundation, I don't want them trying to weather a flood.

Because at their tender ages, there is no need for them to be out of the house for 8 hours a day at school, come home for another 1-2 hours of homework, and then try to fit in extras like ice skating, piano, scouting, or other things they want to try. Really, when will they sleep? When would we have family time?

Because we can do our work in half the time they do it in school and have time for awesome field trips, nature walks, and travel!



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Posted: March 05 2013 at 4:31pm | IP Logged Quote roomintheheart

^Yeah, that.

I homeschool to give my children a Catholic education. Of course, there are tons of other benefits, but when people ask, that is what I tell them. Occasionally, I rephrase it as a "faith-based" education, depending on who asks.
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Posted: March 05 2013 at 5:41pm | IP Logged Quote SeaStar

Here is an interesting article:

Stop Telling Me Why You Can't Homeschool

The author touches on a lot of the same points already mentioned.

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Posted: March 06 2013 at 8:32am | IP Logged Quote pumpkinmom

We had way too many "incidents" with other kids and parents that made me research homeschooling. Once I started looking at homeschooling I realized that God had been calling me to it, but I had been ignoring his will.

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Posted: March 06 2013 at 9:36am | IP Logged Quote mommy4ever

I have known about homeschooling for 13 years, when ds19 was not doing well in school. And really it wasn't that he wasn't doing well, he wasn't fitting the mold. At that time, dh was against it. But I had learned about it.

Fast forward 8 years, I had 3 more kids. The 2nd youngest was being bullied horribly, and the school wasn't doing anything about it. The little one was being neglected, and failing, yet I wasn't being told, (I asked), the teacher even allowed her to miss her bus, and then leave the school after the fact. Even said good bye. This could have been catastrophic, but an older student recognized that she missed the bus, and there was no teacher supervision that day.

Then the bullying came to a peak, dd13 has never been the same. I pulled them out officially the next day.

I found that dd9 at that point hadn't learned a thing and since they didn't get to go through the papers, I saw she was failing everything.

We restarted grade 1, and learned all the basics well. She is doing very well. DD13 is doing much better, but her path forever changed because of that.

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Posted: March 06 2013 at 11:13am | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

mommy4ever I'm so sorry your daughter had to deal with bullying. I'm seeing there's so much "awareness" out there but no one really seems to have any handle on how to stop it. So much of it isn't seen by anyone other than the one being bullied. And no one seems able to act on that (though any mention of a gun and they sure do whether there's anything there after investigation or not).

There's so much about why to homeschool becasue of the public school system that can be dependant on the specific area, the specific administration, the specific teachers. What may be true for one person another may find untrue.. or what may be true in the area you lived when you started may not be true in an area you move to.

I decided even though there were incidents that prodded me along from my school days that in the end I needed to know why I homeschool for homeschooling reasons.. not just as a reaction to how the other schools are.

We homeschool because we like the flexibility, life is simply so much easier with only my dh's work schedule to bow to. And then of course the extras.. but we don't have to do those if we don't want to. I love how my children interact with each other when they're together all the time. I like getting to choose what we study and how we study it. I love how my children are growing up. Not to say that they're not children with all their foibles and fits but they interact with people of all ages so differently than their counterparts in school, they're more innocent even though we're not highly restrictive, they're not so inclined to "play at" being an adult as they are to learn the right ways to be adult.

So family reasons is my top priority, which of course also includes livin our faith as a family instead of having to conceal it for better than half the day.

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