Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Mary G
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Posted: May 29 2006 at 5:13am | IP Logged Quote Mary G

Do you wear makeup every day? I don't EVER wear makeup; I never got in the habit becuase I was always running around so much when I was younger, had 5 brothers that would have teased me mercilessly, and just always thought it was more work than it's worth.

Do you wear your hair long or short and if you prefer it a certain way, why? I keep mine short. I don't blow dry it or curl it. It's pretty thick/wavy and I just wash and go. I used to try to wear mine "long" (shoulder length ), but my hair gets thin and straggly and has a mind of it's own once it leaves my natural hair line !

If you are old enough to have grey hair, do you color it? At home or in the salon? I'll be 45 in September and I do have a few grey hairs, but I'm blessed with a family history of slow shift to grey. My mother, 75 this year, is still not quite all grey!

How much time do you spend on personal appearance in general each day? Those of you with little ones, do you find it easier to wake up before the children to bathe or shower or wait until they are asleep? I lumped these 2 questions together -- my dh gets up around 4:45/5 every morning. I'm up at 5/5:30. I take a 15 minute shower and then I'm on the computer till 7:15/7:30 and then I take a morning walk. My kids (especially the littles) are asleep till around 7:30/8:00. This two hours gives me the time I need to cleanup, pray, get ready for the day and "talk" to y'all. Occasionally the littles get up early, but I just take them on the walk with me. My youngest, 3-1/2, still comes with me into the "potty" and has no compunction to walking in on my when I'm in the shower -- so I have to get up before him!

One realization I have come to over the past month or so is that I will be 45 in a few months. I've started exercising more and trying to eat better. After our youngest, who I breastfed till he was 2, I never dropped the weight or "bumps" (). Part of it was because I'm probably perimenopausal and part of it is because I didn't WANT to give up the ability to eat anything and stay slim. It's funny, I still feel like a size 4 and age 28, but I'm a size 12 and age 44 ! So I have to work on staying healthy -- not just to look good, but also to be there for the littles' graduations, weddings and grandchildren!

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Posted: May 29 2006 at 7:52am | IP Logged Quote JennGM

Mary G wrote:
One realization I have come to over the past month or so is that I will be 45 in a few months. I've started exercising more and trying to eat better. After our youngest, who I breastfed till he was 2, I never dropped the weight or "bumps" (). Part of it was because I'm probably perimenopausal and part of it is because I didn't WANT to give up the ability to eat anything and stay slim. It's funny, I still feel like a size 4 and age 28, but I'm a size 12 and age 44 ! So I have to work on staying healthy -- not just to look good, but also to be there for the littles' graduations, weddings and grandchildren!


Mary, you and me both! I could have written this almost word-for-word! I've only had one child, but I'm not losing as fast as I should. I'm usually a 6 and now I'm wearing a 10-12. I used to eat anything and gain nothing. And now look at me. But I also don't WANT to focus on my diet...It's adding another thing to my already full plate. But I need to...especially for your reasons above and possibly to get pregnant again.

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Posted: May 29 2006 at 10:36am | IP Logged Quote Willa

Mary G wrote:
One realization I have come to over the past month or so is that I will be 45 in a few months. I've started exercising more and trying to eat better. After our youngest, who I breastfed till he was 2, I never dropped the weight or "bumps" (). Part of it was because I'm probably perimenopausal and part of it is because I didn't WANT to give up the ability to eat anything and stay slim.


I'm in a similar boat -- I will be 44. 3yo is still nursing. I am about 15 pounds above my norm.

I read in one of Debra Waterhouse's books that some weight gain during perimenopause is beneficial. Here'san online source that says something similar. Any thoughts on this? I've been thinking I shouldn't try to lose the weight, but rather, just live a healthy lifestyle and get exercise. But that's a challenge, for me.

As for the rest:
I haven't worn makeup since college, except once or twice -- it bothers my skin.
I wear my hair medium -- it breaks easily and I have to keep trimming it so it never gets long.
I have some grey hair and don't color it. I rather like it in fact. I earned every one of them...
I bathe in the afternoon during "quiet time".


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Posted: May 29 2006 at 11:55am | IP Logged Quote Mary G

WJFR wrote:
Mary G wrote:
One realization I have come to over the past month or so is that I will be 45 in a few months. I've started exercising more and trying to eat better. After our youngest, who I breastfed till he was 2, I never dropped the weight or "bumps" (). Part of it was because I'm probably perimenopausal and part of it is because I didn't WANT to give up the ability to eat anything and stay slim.


I'm in a similar boat -- I will be 44. 3yo is still nursing. I am about 15 pounds above my norm.

I read in one of Debra Waterhouse's books that some weight gain during perimenopause is beneficial. Here'san online source that says something similar. Any thoughts on this? I've been thinking I shouldn't try to lose the weight, but rather, just live a healthy lifestyle and get exercise. But that's a challenge, for me.

As for the rest:
I haven't worn makeup since college, except once or twice -- it bothers my skin.
I wear my hair medium -- it breaks easily and I have to keep trimming it so it never gets long.
I have some grey hair and don't color it. I rather like it in fact. I earned every one of them...
I bathe in the afternoon during "quiet time".


Hey Willa -- except for the bathing in the afternoon (quiet time is no more around here, unfortunately ) we could be soulmates!

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Posted: May 29 2006 at 9:17pm | IP Logged Quote Victoria in AZ

What a great thread this has been.

I do wear makeup everyday because I have an ugly rash from a skin disease. How I envy you ladies who can get away without any makeup (forgive me!).

I'm 42 and made a decision years ago to never again wear a sweat suit. I like my tops to have buttons. My uniform is a blouse and khakis/capris. Standard color capris of khaki, navy, black and white. I buy blouses with a pattern or texture that do not have to be ironed. Denim button down shirts never have to be ironed either. Since I often buy the blouses second-hand, I can see if they will stand up to the washer/dryer. As others have said, I made a conscious decision to avoid looking frumpy.

Years ago I tried wearing a skirt/dress every day and dh said he did not prefer this.

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Posted: May 29 2006 at 10:01pm | IP Logged Quote Rebecca

Victoria in AZ wrote:
I like my tops to have buttons.


This is where I am at also. I have stopped buying tops unless I buy a bottom to match because the OCD side of me likes to put my outfits in drawers together instead of having a tops drawer and a bottoms drawer. I also find that it is easier to get dressed when I have a full outfit, not as many choices to corn-fuse me.

Victoria in AZ wrote:
Years ago I tried wearing a skirt/dress every day and dh said he did not prefer this.


Strangely, this is true in my home also. I do not know why. I have asked but dh does not really seem to know why himself. Maybe he thinks it is unstylish to always wear skirts, I do not know as I try to buy cute ones in pretty patterns and colors. I have worn skirts almost every day for four years but do own a pair of khaki capris and a pair of jeans. My ds6 gets offended when I wear the pants and usually says "Mommy, WHY are you wearing man-clothes?" He is very "modesty-conscious" and has even mentioned to me when he sees me in a bathing suit that he wishes it reached past my knees. (My suits usually consist of the UMBRO-type shorts and a modestly cut tank top).

Just can't seem to please everyone...

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Posted: May 29 2006 at 10:02pm | IP Logged Quote Rebecca

Victoria in AZ wrote:
I like my tops to have buttons.


OOPS , I thought that said "bottoms". So, um, ignore my last post OK?

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Posted: May 29 2006 at 11:46pm | IP Logged Quote kristina

Rebecca wrote:
This is where I am at also. I have stopped buying tops unless I buy a bottom to match because the OCD side of me likes to put my outfits in drawers together instead of having a tops drawer and a bottoms drawer.


Rebecca,
I guess I am a bit OCD, too. Years ago, a co-worker commented to me that I was an "outfit" girl. Huh? Apparently she noticed that I always had matching tops and bottoms. Our second son is (absurdly!) particular about his clothing and chooses his clothing as matching outfits as well. I wonder if it is genetic.

Blessings,

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Posted: May 30 2006 at 2:08am | IP Logged Quote Kathryn UK

Do you wear makeup every day?
I always wear lipstick. As I have got older my lips have got paler and I hate the natural bleached out lips look! I often wear a very light foundation to even out blotchy skin, but pregnancy seems to have been good for my skin so I'm not bothering at the moment.

Do you wear your hair long or short and if you prefer it a certain way, why?
Short. I have very thick, very fine hair and it is impossible to do anything with. Short is the only way I can keep it tidy. Also my dh loves short hair, so on the rare occasions I have tried to grow it he complains! I usually use a little spray gel and dry it to keep it off my face. If I just wash it and leave it, it flops.

If you are old enough to have grey hair, do you color it? At home or in the salon?
At 45 I have a little grey, but not much yet. I did once try colouring my hair at home. It looked as though someone had been murdered in the bathroom. I used to have it coloured at a salon occasionally, but it is really beyond my budget now, so I think I'll settle for the grey.

How much time do you spend on personal appearance in general each day? Those of you with little ones, do you find it easier to wake up before the children to bathe or shower or wait until they are asleep?
Maybe ten minutes. I think, though, that I have always been too lazy about personal appearance. I have never aspired to anything more than vaguely tidy. My 11yo is a very "girly" girl and interested in clothes and hair. I'm hoping some of her enthusiasm will rub off on me .

Mary G wrote:

One realization I have come to over the past month or so is that I will be 45 in a few months. I've started exercising more and trying to eat better.

I did that at 44. I hadn't put on too much weight, though I had been stuck for two or three years at about 15lbs over the weight I would like to be. What bothered me was that I was getting so tired and stiff, and realised that it was only going to get worse in future . I felt as though I had aged five years in the previous year, and was determined I wasn't going to carry on that way. I joined a gym and started to feel very much better. Then I got pregnant . "Hmmm!" said my midwife, "I think you kickstarted your reproductive system!". I'd never thought of pregnancy as a side effect of exercise before . Unfortunately a side effect of pregnancy is that I'm now back to being chronically unfit , and will certainly be heavier than I was before. Hopefully nursing combined with sensible eating will get rid of some of the weight, but I can see it is going to be an uphill struggle to get back into shape. And at nearly 46 with a new baby, I'm going to need some energy!


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Posted: May 30 2006 at 7:12am | IP Logged Quote Dawn

Victoria in AZ wrote:
I'm 42 and made a decision years ago to never again wear a sweat suit. I like my tops to have buttons. My uniform is a blouse and khakis/capris. Standard color capris of khaki, navy, black and white. I buy blouses with a pattern or texture that do not have to be ironed. Denim button down shirts never have to be ironed either. Since I often buy the blouses second-hand, I can see if they will stand up to the washer/dryer. As others have said, I made a conscious decision to avoid looking frumpy.


Victoria, I find this post very inspiring. I love the idea of wearing smarter looking clothes. Especially now that it's spring, I'd like to try to wear a blouse and light capris or a skirt (I also think skorts are cute). Relaxed pants and tops might be comfortable but are not very flattering (as dh reminds me ). I like the idea of a "uniform" that I can keep pressed and neat and laid out, as Rebecca mentioned, in sets. The less thinking in the morning the better!

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Posted: May 30 2006 at 7:36am | IP Logged Quote amyable

Dawn wrote:
Victoria in AZ wrote:
I'm 42 and made a decision years ago to never again wear a sweat suit. I like my tops to have buttons. My uniform is a blouse and khakis/capris. Standard color capris of khaki, navy, black and white. I buy blouses with a pattern or texture that do not have to be ironed. Denim button down shirts never have to be ironed either. Since I often buy the blouses second-hand, I can see if they will stand up to the washer/dryer. As others have said, I made a conscious decision to avoid looking frumpy.


Victoria, I find this post very inspiring. I love the idea of wearing smarter looking clothes. Especially now that it's spring, I'd like to try to wear a blouse and light capris or a skirt (I also think skorts are cute). Relaxed pants and tops might be comfortable but are not very flattering (as dh reminds me ). I like the idea of a "uniform" that I can keep pressed and neat and laid out, as Rebecca mentioned, in sets. The less thinking in the morning the better!


How funny - as I was posting a separate post about "making me over" as far as clothes go - you were posting here and addressed my question!

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Posted: May 30 2006 at 7:44am | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

This pregnancy has been such a reprieve from the perimenopausal frumpy feeling! I don't usually feel fat when I'm pregnant. I'm not prone to swelling and I really like my belly! This time though, in a moment of truth in a dressing room while desperately searching for bathing suit, I was nearly reduced to tears. This is not the way I looked eighteen years ago when pregnant and coaching a swim team ! This entire summer is going to be one day after another of mortification every time I put on that suit and take my kids to the pool. Ugh. Sadly, there is plenty for which to offer this particular suffering. My niece is being treated for anorexia; her mother has suffered the same disease and so has my only female cousin. I know how I was programmed the same way and I also know that if I hadn't been pregnant or breastfeeding most of my adult life (I ate for my children and wouldn't compromise them), we'd have a clean sweep of every female of my generation in this family and a head start on the next generation. (And no, it's not entirely genetic--my cousin was adopted from Korea.)

It's the postpartum weight and the weight redsitribution that makes me feel frumpy. I'm bracing for it this time because it was so stubborn last time and I started this pregnancy way over my usual starting point. But this time, my focus is determined to be healthy. I am trying to establish completely heathy eating and exercise habits and to focus on positive body image. I can't imagine the Blessed Mother obsessing over cellulite, nor can I imagine her working out three hours a day. This time, it will be my children who save me again, but differently. Nope, probably not another baby (I turned forty days after this one was conceived and I'll nurse a long, long time). But this time, a precious ten-year-old girl will follow my every move and listen to my every word. She absorbs ME and reflects ME. Knowing how dangerous obsession with body is and watching my 13yo niece literally fight to stay alive, I recognize just how important this window is for our girls. We must establish a Marian body image--in dress, yes, but also in acceptance that our bodies are made for certain purposes and the laugh lines, the roundedness, the gray hair, are really very lovely in their own sacred way.

It's a tough sell to myself--particularly given the climate in which I was raised, but this time around, my inspiration, these three precious daughters of mine, will allow the mothering instinct to protect myself as I protect them. We have to have a healthy outlook on our bodies because the lives of our daughters literally could be dependent upon it. Society barrages them with skinny and sexy--it's up to us to offer the healthy alternative for both body and soul. Not frumpy, but lovely. I do think you can be lovely and "full" at the same time.

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Posted: May 30 2006 at 7:53am | IP Logged Quote marihalojen

Dawn wrote:
(I also think skorts are cute).


Hurray for skorts! It doesn't matter how high the tide is, I know I won't unintentionally flash anyone climbing aboard when I wear a skort! Imagine kicking your heel up armpit high and then heaving yourself up to enter your house...of course, the only flashing they'd get under my other skirts and sarongs is my bikini bottoms. (Yes, I just admitted to wearing a bikini - feels like normal bra and undies if one wears it day in and day out under clothes, also not as hot or chafeing as one piece IMO and dries quicker) Sarongs are the best all-purpose piece of clothing I own. They can be a long skirt, shorter dress or shade house depending on if they are tied around you or over you to the rigging like a tent! My current favorite way to tie a sarong is the Rio Dress. Comfy as it is not tight around my neck and attractive in a Jane-Austin-does-the-tropics empire gown way!


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Posted: May 30 2006 at 8:10am | IP Logged Quote marihalojen

Elizabeth, What a lovely post you wrote as I was blathering on in my own little beachy world... I agree that our daughters are the most important reason to have a positive body image as the dears are looking to us as role models. But at the same time I have to think body confidence plays a large role as well. Being proud of your body and not wearing shapeless sacks as we are called to motherhood, and clothing that emphasizes our femininity exemplifies our calling.

(To segue back to my beachy world - try that Rio dress over your swimsuit, nice and roomy for a growing belly. May require a second sarong wrapped backwards towards the end of the nine months depending on size of sarongs as the ends are overlapped under the knot in front...)

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Posted: May 30 2006 at 8:15am | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

And I was enjoying your beachy take on things! Then, I was marvelling at your ability to tie a sarong (and I thought a sling was challenging.) I like the idea of wearing one--but I'd still have to take it off in the water, right?

I completely agree that body confidence is key. Actually, I think confidence in general is so key to girls growing strong in body, mind and soul.The tricky part is that if you praise their appearance too much (or even their behavior), they begin to worry that your affection is based upon said appearance or behavior. If you withhold the praise, they think they aren't praiseworthy. I want to be good at this but I haven't had very good role models.

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Posted: May 30 2006 at 8:20am | IP Logged Quote Mary G

marihalojen wrote:
   Sarongs are the best all-purpose piece of clothing I own. They can be a long skirt, shorter dress or shade house depending on if they are tied around you or over you to the rigging like a tent! My current favorite way to tie a sarong is the Rio Dress. Comfy as it is not tight around my neck and attractive in a Jane-Austin-does-the-tropics empire gown way!

Jennifer,

I love this sarong idea -- particularly over a swimsuit as I attempt to get back my pre-children figure! Thanks for the link.

BTW, your blog is fascinating -- keep the posts coming.

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Posted: May 30 2006 at 12:12pm | IP Logged Quote Christine

Do you wear makeup every day?
No. One of the things my husband liked about me when he first saw me was that I was not wearing any makeup.
Do you wear your hair long or short and if you prefer it a certain way, why?
My hair is wavy, bordering on curly. It is currently below my shoulders. I dread going to the hairdresser because for some reason they always try to make my hair "poofy" (professional salons are the worst).
If you are old enough to have grey hair, do you color it?
I am under 35 and my hair is starting to grey. One of my aunts was completely grey by 40 and I think I might be like her. My husband doesn't want me to color it. I don't know what I will do.
How much time do you spend on personal appearance in general each day? Those of you with little ones, do you find it easier to wake up before the children to bathe or shower or wait until they are asleep?
I bathe whenever I get a chance in the morning. Sometimes before the little ones are awake, sometims right after they wake up. My personal appearance is a result of wash, brush and go.

I am currently going through the nothing fits me properly or looks right on me stage of pregnancy and I would love to go shopping, but if I did so our budget would be put into a downward spiral (I really like clothes), so I am trying to offer it up and work with what I have.

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Posted: May 30 2006 at 1:00pm | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

More on that bathing suit:

I put it on this afternoon and I could barely breathe--way too tight across the chest. So I said a prayer to St. Anthony and went down to the storage room. In three minutes, I had found the suit I wore fourteen years ago. Same brand, same size, but it fits perfectly with room to grow. AND I CAN BREATHE! It's not trendy, but it's fine and my girls like it better (it's pink ).

Now, I prayed my way through the mall yesterday and I did end up with this suit, so there must have been a reason to have it. Anybody who is a Motherhood Medium (without a huge chest ) want to inherit this bathing suit?. I"m pretty sure I can't return it and I would love to bless someone with it. There has to be a reason I bought it...

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Posted: May 30 2006 at 1:04pm | IP Logged Quote JennGM

Elizabeth wrote:
More on that bathing suit:

I put it on this afternoon and I could barely breathe--way too tight across the chest. So I said a prayer to St. Anthony and went down to the storage room. In three minutes, I had found the suit I wore fourteen years ago. Same brand, same size, but it fits perfectly with room to grow. AND I CAN BREATHE! It's not trendy, but it's fine and my girls like it better (it's pink ).

Now, I prayed my way through the mall yesterday and I did end up with this suit, so there must have been a reason to have it. Anybody who is a Motherhood Medium (without a huge chest ) want to inherit this bathing suit?. I'm pretty sure I can't return it and I would love to bless someone with it. There has to be a reason I bought it...


Oh, that is a cute suit! Sometimes the skirt hits too high and I will not buy that.

I can't claim it now, because I'm just a pregnant mommy wannabe, but I'm glad to know about this suit!

Can we say ever hopeful? We have a beach trip planned at the end of July and I'm not ready to buy a new swimsuit just in case I might be pregnant. Someone talk some sense into me....

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Victoria in AZ
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Posted: May 30 2006 at 2:40pm | IP Logged Quote Victoria in AZ

Rebecca wrote:
OOPS , I thought that said "bottoms". So, um, ignore my last post OK?



ROFLOL I do always wear bottoms though

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