4Real Forums: For my marriage

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

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Topic: For my marriage

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Grace&Chaos
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Joined: June 07 2010
Location: California
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Posts: 1261

Posted: March 27 2012 at 9:17am \| IP Logged

Praying for you both and your marriage

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Blessings,
Jenny
Mom to dds(00,03) and dss(05,06,08,09)
Grace in Loving Chaos

Angie Mc
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Joined: Jan 31 2005
Location: Arizona
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Posts: 11400

Posted: March 27 2012 at 11:30am \| IP Logged

Maggie, I'm praying for you with a lot of empathy. Like others have noted, you two have entered an objectively difficult time. It can be surprising and disappointing and all sorts of other feelings, but hold tight to the fact that God is working on the salvation of both of your souls. He is in charge and knows *exactly* what is needed. He will push you beyond yourselves...to become even more loving...*more loving!*

Maggie, while your marriage dynamic may be very different from mine, marriage is just plain hard. I want to encourage you in your desire to be married well! I wasn't a very good wife at the point you are at in marriage. Yes, I loved my dh dearly...but I needed to learn how to become a wife (it just didn't come to me as naturally as being a good enough mom.) Praise God my dh didn't see himself as the best dh either, so we often focused on what we did well (parenting, providing, etc.) and just prayed and trusted that we could improve over time and with an abundance of God's grace. It took me 25 years

...25 years!...to get close to being a good wife! So, please, please, please...be gentle with yourself and your dh. Marriage is hard AND so worth every humbling moment, every painful failure, every softening of the heart. So while it is understandable to identify and deal with weaknesses in a marriage, do find time and ways to...just be together in love and joy and pleasing each other.

A few tips: Hang with women who are good wives. Avoid people who make marriage look all shiny and easy. Befriend an older couple who can help put things into perspective. Be willing to give up good things to gain better things.

My prayers are with you

and please know that I rooting for you!

Love,

__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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JuliaT
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Joined: June 25 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 563

Posted: April 05 2012 at 7:47am \| IP Logged

Maggie, I know that I am late with this but your post touched my heart deeply. Your situation sounds so familiar to me. My marriage has been a very difficult one. We, too, love hard and fight hard and I think this is what has kept us together (the loving hard part, I mean

.) I have deep regrets over the things that my children have heard during our fights. We, too, knew better but we kept on with the nasty habits.

Two years ago, we had a life altering situation in our family (I had cancer) and things started to slowly change. God has healed my marriage since that scary time. We very rarely fight now. We have learned how to disagree in a healthy way. I am so thankful that I didn't give into the many thoughts of divorce that I had entertained during the hard times.

We will have been married 14 years in June but the first 12 were just plain hard. I want to encourage you to ask God to show you your faults in this relationship and work on them in a prayerful way. For me, I learned that my biggest fault was that I didn't know when to be quiet. I wuld always tell him my thoughts and feelings right away and I realized he didn't need to always hear that. I also had to work on my reactions to certain situations. So focus on you and your part in this and pray to God for the rest.

Please know that I am

you in my heart as well as fervently praying for you. I pray that you will know soon know the peace that can be found in marriage.

__________________
Blessings,
Julia
mom of 3(14,13 & 11 yrs.old)
MusingsofaPrairieGirl

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