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asplendidtime
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| Posted: Dec 08 2011 at 3:39pm | IP Logged
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I don't have time to read through these posts still, and I have major postpartum fog, but, use a timer and set limits. This is a big thing at our house. I can say "Tim, clean up the puzzle" then walk away to help Jonah with his work, take the baby along, and listen to Joshua tell me something very important, while Zoe shows me her picture..... 30min later I come back and Tim hasn't cleaned the puzzle, then I am rather annoyed. So I tell Tim "clean the puzzle" and walk right over and set the oven timer. (Lately if I am nursing I cheat and say I am setting my watch for 10min, but shhhhh, I forgot how to do that, and so I just pretend, half the time I forget that I said I was setting my watch. However he hasn't caught on tot his yet, so he hurries)
Timed Schedule helped me breathe again, as they have to hustle themselves! Ha!
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Rebecca~Mama to
Noah 17,
Katie 16,
Mary 14,
Tim 13,
Jonah 12,
Josh 10,
Zoe 9,
Will 7,
Peter 6,
Laura-Mae 4,
Emily-Joy 2,
Genevieve & Gabriella 1
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: Dec 08 2011 at 3:47pm | IP Logged
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knowloveserve wrote:
| I always thought my (direct) communication method was THE right one and had little patience for others beating around the bush or long-winded techniques. I kept trying to force everyone to think and speak like I do. Little did I know what a disservice I was doing to their God-given temperaments by doing this! |
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Ellie, this is so on target! And thanks for the link. Our family has all four temperaments, both genders, different ages, and so man more differences in approach that surely God was laughing when He put us together!
What's nice about our current stage is that we are truly launching young adults into the world. Without squashing the positives of their styles and personhood, we can expect them to practice communication skills that are practical, respectful, and situation appropriate. That's why I get to ask my teens...
Quote:
| You will take a knee and listen to your coach for twenty minutes straight without blinking...but you can't show me the same respect for 5 minutes? |
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Valid question, don't you think? 
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: Dec 08 2011 at 4:07pm | IP Logged
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asplendidtime wrote:
I don't have time to read through these posts still, and I have major postpartum fog, but, use a timer and set limits. This is a big thing at our house. I can say "Tim, clean up the puzzle" then walk away to help Jonah with his work, take the baby along, and listen to Joshua tell me something very important, while Zoe shows me her picture..... 30min later I come back and Tim hasn't cleaned the puzzle, then I am rather annoyed. So I tell Tim "clean the puzzle" and walk right over and set the oven timer. (Lately if I am nursing I cheat and say I am setting my watch for 10min, but shhhhh, I forgot how to do that, and so I just pretend, half the time I forget that I said I was setting my watch. However he hasn't caught on tot his yet, so he hurries)
Timed Schedule helped me breathe again, as they have to hustle themselves! Ha! |
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What kinds of consequences do you use if the timer goes off and it is still not done?
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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Angel
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| Posted: Dec 08 2011 at 4:43pm | IP Logged
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CrunchyMom wrote:
asplendidtime wrote:
I don't have time to read through these posts still, and I have major postpartum fog, but, use a timer and set limits. This is a big thing at our house. I can say "Tim, clean up the puzzle" then walk away to help Jonah with his work, take the baby along, and listen to Joshua tell me something very important, while Zoe shows me her picture..... 30min later I come back and Tim hasn't cleaned the puzzle, then I am rather annoyed. So I tell Tim "clean the puzzle" and walk right over and set the oven timer. (Lately if I am nursing I cheat and say I am setting my watch for 10min, but shhhhh, I forgot how to do that, and so I just pretend, half the time I forget that I said I was setting my watch. However he hasn't caught on tot his yet, so he hurries)
Timed Schedule helped me breathe again, as they have to hustle themselves! Ha! |
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What kinds of consequences do you use if the timer goes off and it is still not done? |
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I'm interested in knowing this, too. I've tried timers with my kids, and they just sort of ignore them. However, we have a lot of the ADD thing going on here, and I have had it in mind to buy a visual timer for years, but have never done so for one reason or another. Pretty much the only time timers really work in our house is for computer time, and that's only because the other boys police their brothers *ruthlessly*. 
Of course, then someone contrives to lose the battery out of the timer, and then they suddenly have an excuse to stay on as long as they want because, gee, Mom, the timer's *broken*. Not that they ever told *me*, of course...
Chaos here gets better when we eat better, and I know you have lots of food allergies there, and like you need *one more thing* to do, right? That's kind of how I feel, too. But right now I have a child who gets absolutely loopy when he eats sugar. First he gets loopy and hyperactive, and then he gets irritable, angry, and disobedient. Today -- 2 days after St. Nicholas Day -- was a disaster.
Anyway, as far as food goes, I do notice that when I let meal planning slip, the behavior gets worse around here, but I don't spend a lot of time making pretty meal plans. I have used a couple of meal planning services on and off in the past, but if you have more than 4 people in your family -- or a lot of big allergies -- they're not as usable as they could be. I try to stock my pantry/freezer with versatile and basic ingredients, and I am *trying* to know at least by the night before what I am making for all 3 meals the next day. That way I can defrost whatever I need to and get breakfast prepped if necessary as well. I am NOT fond of cooking in the morning!
For the record, I am not a "yes" mom when it comes to food. Everybody eats the same lunch and dinner, and now that we are trying to have everybody eat grain/gluten-free, also the same breakfast. (However, if my big kids wanted to make themselves breakfast, I would say ok. NOT lunch or dinner, however.) This doesn't mean that kids don't complain -- because boy, do they sometimes -- but life in a large family means you don't always get your way. We also eat at the same time, and there are regularly assigned chores afterward which rotate VERY RARELY. Meal times are chaotic (and LOUD) enough with 5 boys age 8 and under at the table!!! I need to keep the other decisions (and corresponding arguments) that have to be made to a minimum.
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Angela
Mom to 9, 7 boys and 2 girls
Three Plus Two
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Reining in the chaos
