Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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teachingmyown
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Posted: March 17 2005 at 9:57pm | IP Logged Quote teachingmyown

Congratulations!
Where were the kids while you did this? If mine are around, they magically fall in love with toys that have been under a dresser for a year!

Not to mention, I cannot accomplish anything with this toddler of mine around! She is impossible, either destroying the house, sitting on my head or nursing. There is only an hour or so a day of peace (read:nap).

You have inspired me though, I will try to follow your lead. We hope to get our house ready to sell with six kids and two very large puppies underfoot. With God all things are possible though, and I am praying!



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Posted: March 18 2005 at 6:14am | IP Logged Quote Bridget

The older kids, themselves, sorted out what they wanted to keep. Everything else got piled on tables for me to sort. (I'm already too big to want to bend over much. ) I did do the throwing away after they were in bed. DH is out of town so I can stay up late working.

There are times when my 16 month toddler just has to go in the porta crib with some toys so I can get something done. Luckily he can't climb out yet. he protests at first, then relaxes and watches us or plays with the toys in there.

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Posted: March 18 2005 at 6:31am | IP Logged Quote Elizabeth

Bridget wrote:
   Also tossed some movies that have been bothering me. They weren't really bad, just obnoxious enough to turn a couple of my children into lunatics.

!

after reading the great reviews of The Incredibles on this forum, I promised my four little ones that I'd buy the video while the big boys were in England. We made a big production of getting to Blockbuster when they open on the big day and then coming home to make popcorn and have a movie party at 10 in the morning.

Do you know what happens when imaginative, energetic children watch a movie about superheroes? They BECOME superheroes! For the rest of the day, they ran through the house calling each other Dash and Violet and Mr. Incredible and Jack-Jack!

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Posted: March 21 2005 at 12:58pm | IP Logged Quote Erica Sanchez

This thread has been very inspiring! I clean out toys alot around here, but were always getting more at Christmas and our 4 winter birthdays as our large extended family likes to give gifts to all the kids. I was thinking that I would like to print out a list of gifts that I would like the kids to receive like play tickets, zoo passes, ice cream certificates, a list of authors we like and good books, whatever - just not toys!! Has anyone done this and given it to family members? How do they take it?

I told the big girls that our project today is to cut the Barbies in half - well, not literally! And our motto for three days now has been "purge"! Nick, my only boy, says "We are not throwing away one Lego!" I vote to get rid of all the Bionicles! I keep asking him if they are good guys, because they look like bad guys!

It's always a little hard for me to get rid of things that my mom has given the kids or sewn for them - can't quite figure that out!

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Mary G
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Posted: March 21 2005 at 1:17pm | IP Logged Quote Mary G

Erica Sanchez wrote:
I told the big girls that our project today is to cut the Barbies in half - well, not literally! ... It's always a little hard for me to get rid of things that my mom has given the kids or sewn for them - can't quite figure that out!


Erica:
The Barbie statement reminded me of my SIL -- she used to cut the heads off the Barbies folks insisted on giving her and put them in jars for display -- it took MANY years for people to understand that a Barbie was not what a physically handicapped person wanted!

And don't feel bad that you don't want to get rid of some stuff -- sometimes I've tossed sentimental items only to kick myself later. Especially anthing handmade -- put it away in whatever kind of storage will protect it -- your kids will thank you some day!

Blessings,


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Molly Smith
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Posted: March 24 2005 at 4:21am | IP Logged Quote Molly Smith

Erica Sanchez wrote:
I told the big girls that our project today is to cut the Barbies in half - well, not literally! ... It's always a little hard for me to get rid of things that my mom has given the kids or sewn for them - can't quite figure that out!

This is my problem exactly!! I sat down with the children one day last week and had each child pick his/her own top three toys. Well, with five kids that about listed all the toys we own! But, the problem is all of our collections are huge because my mom (beautiful, generous soul that she is, truly) will round out an entire Rescue Hero collection, or Imaginext, Little People, Brio or American Girl, for that matter. How do you get rid of 1/2 a collection? Plus, I don't object to any of those, in fact I quite like them and they make for hours of imaginative play.

So, I don't know what to do. I'm so stressed and overwhelmed by the sheer volume that I can't get started.

I'm going to go start another thread on what grandparents can give our children, but I would like to know how/if any of you have been successful in breaking up collections of things.




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Posted: March 29 2005 at 10:20pm | IP Logged Quote TradCathMom

I haven't read all the replies yet so sorry if this is a repeat. I found that when everything is in one big tub all the children do is dump and then wade through a knee-high pile with nothing to do. I bought some of those 3-drawer plastic "dressers" (I do not use the wheels). So we have blocks in one, train in another, bristle blocks in another, big legos in another (since we have so many littles we keep the little legos at a desk for the older ones). I just bought another one of these dressers for teh girls dolls and accessories. For miniature play we do the calico critters and plan toys/ryans room so those are in separate drawers. And I will say I don't tend to like plastic but I have a soft spot of those little people. We have gotten numerous sets of those over the years (gifts) and I keep them in big zip locs (for now) so they are separated by "topic": that is castle, school and park, zoo. town, etc... They tend to have more fruitful play that way... at least in this household where making a big mess is what comes natural. I have been able to keep things much neater this way (though it is still a mess here most of the time).

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Posted: May 14 2005 at 5:44pm | IP Logged Quote miryam71

Both grandmothers ALWAYS have new toys for them. I remember one Easter, my m-i-l came over with TWO HUNDRED DOLLARS (or so she says) of new toys. My mom brought a LOT of toys too. Yikes. And this is typical; I have been unable to convince them to stop, so I just deal with it on my end.

I try not to be too ruthless, but at least a few times a year (preferably once a month) I just start pitching stuff. (I try to give it away to Salvation Army or wherever, but sometimes I just sit the stuff next to our complex's dumpster, hoping someone else will find a "treasure.")

As many of the rest of your probably do, we have enough legos to build our own four-bedroom luxury home and enough hot wheels/matchbox to start our own CarMax.    I try to keep toys that we can add to. (i.e. legos, Thomas the Tank Engine track)   I am forever throwing away odd items like Happy Meal toys. My boys keep all of their toys stored in their room. I'm striving for "place for everything and everything in its place" but I'd be lying if I told you I don't sometimes throw it all in toybox or shelves and shut the doors!

We are taking next week "off" from formal schooling to get back into a pattern/schedule. (Pray that something doesn't trip it up, like my getting sick.) also discipline...I've gotten off track lately and though I love him, my husband is not a disciplinarian so I have to "regroup" my own thoughts and start over.


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ALmom
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Posted: May 19 2005 at 6:38pm | IP Logged Quote ALmom

Haven't read everything on this - but boy do I need this thread. All of us are pack rats in this house. I finally did get rid of the papers I wrote back in elementary to high school and my second grade teacher's thank you note for the chalk pencil we gave her (she was allergic to chalk and taught public school before overheads!) All 8 of us have different things we are too attached to. The point is that we are not terribly successful in this department but I can give a few things that have helped. I am nostalgic and to get stuff out of my way, we do box it up and put it in the attic (or in case of paper clutter - on some unreachable corner of a closet). Each person has a bin in their room for paper collections - the rule is that whatever is saved must fit in the one box. When the box overflows, we sort through and decide what really can go to make room for the new treasures. It is an agonizing day long event as everything is reread, etc. My sister gave a wonderful idea - photograph it and chunk it which works for babies art projects or the erasur dust collection I inherited from a friend whose mother refused to pay to have it shipped back to the U.S. Evidently my parents were too swamped with all of us to notice the silly thing I tucked into our belongings to bring back to the states and couldn't part with for years due to the memories. My mother lives in town and maintains a play area for the children. When we are finished with something or just not quite ready to totally part with it, we give it to my mom, and it is played with over at her house and then she is free to dump it or give it away as she sees fit - a little less painful for us even though we know my mom will generally get rid of it in a week to a month. My dh took charge of sorting through the stuffed animals while I roared from the bedroom. He wanted me to observe the systematic way to declutter. He lined up every animal by type - x number of bears, etc and told the children surely they didn't need more than one of each type of animal. They all patiently explained the entire history of every animal in the collection. " But dad that was mom's when she was a baby, that one was given to me by so and so, that is my favorite baby toy and I just want to save it. " At the end of the day, he managed to convince them to part with one single stuffed animal out of 200. I, at least, got a good laugh. Once something comes in the house, its hard for us to let it go so we try to be more careful about what comes in. A friend told us about a rule : 3 things go for everything new that comes in and we have tried this. It works when we all participate. The children will rotate toys among themselves and we have even stored old toys in the attic for many years and they have turned up again later. We have gotten rid of almost all baby and toddler toys because they don't play with them anyways when there are older kids toys around - who needs nesting toys when you have measuring cups that nest. (Well except for the baby toys our oldest had to keep because of all the memories - they are boxed up in her room area). I also insist on the right to pitch toys that get left out and if I think they are junk - like the tiny rocks they got for decorating swords or marbles, etc do end up in the trash. Of course I'm also an offender, so if I leave papers scattered on the floor, I cannot fuss too much if someone throws it away - even if it was that important phone # scrawled on the corner of some scratch paper with no name attached. I guess some of our de-cluttering will occur when the oldest leaves home - most of the boxes will go with her. We have also found a local homeschool that puts on plays that loves to get really old clothing. My husbands old stuff (his mom gives us boxes of stuff every time we visit - actually they fill the van with all the stuff they have saved over the years - a lot of it is thankfully consumable, but some of it includes husbands old school copy books, stories, etc. and all the clothes they wore 30+ years ago) finally found a home outside our attic as costumes for their plays. Somehow we handle it better knowing it won't be thrown away. That makes it hard to get rid of old stuff - all my husbands running t-shirts that I was going to turn into a quilt for him since those marked most of our courting time I did finally part with realizing I cannot sew a straight line by hand or machine and was not going to learn how to quilt unless it was in the most remote future. We found one place that was collecting old stuff and were told they wanted stuff that wasn't really in the best condition for working in fields, etc. It was so much easier giving it away knowing that maybe they wouldn't end up in the trash bin. Another little trick - the children played in the sandbox and we used some of the less favorite match box cars for sand play - it speeds up their demise when everyone is willing to trash them - unless someone thinks of an art project using old, decrepit match box cars - yes this kind of thing, unfortunately does happen at our house. We also, while not totally parting with the vanity chair, got it to take up less space. We couldn't part with it as it belonged to my deceased grandmother. It was shakey and unrepairable so my daughter took the legs off and hammered them into swords to hang on her wall - the memories are still there but the floor space is clear. I forget what she did with the top part of the chair. As far as children's and maternity clothes go, we ship boxes around the country. My sister with ten in PA is better at decluttering - from living in 1600 sq ft for years and trying to sell while living in this house. We all have an understanding that when we ship boxes of clothes, the receiver has the right to give away anything they cannot use unless something is labeled by mutual agreement as special. We have combined that with not looking at bags of clothes from neighbors unless we really need something and limiting what is in the closet per season to a reasonable amount - or immediately taking the bag to a homeschool gathering at park day or something like that where the treasure is sorted somewhere where its easier not to take it - and then a mom who is better at parting with stuff takes what isn't pulled out and donates it somewhere on their way home. I know we should not be quite so attached to stuff and we are gradually trying to take baby steps. I can tell you some things NOT to do. Don't convince your children to sell stuff at a garage sale - we sold some stuff but most of the kids bought the other kids stuff plus some with their own pocket money. We made this mistake when my grandmother had a huge garage sale and we decided that the kids might be motivated by making some pocket money. Unfortunately, my grandmother's treasures looked so appealing and my children all bought her stuff - unfortunately my grandmother's heart was so warmed by their enthusiasm for her treasures that she was having a hard time parting with, they ended up at our house without even taking much of their pocket change (ie grandmother would slip extra in on the side). I'm glad we warmed her heart, but when she died we couldn't part with any of the trinkets. The children also saw books I sold that belonged to them - and pointed out that it was their stuff which was given to them. I had to repurchase as much as I could from my Aunt at the garage sale and then had to replace some other books with new books from Barnes and Noble, so, as my husband pointed out - we lost money on that garage sale. Even the garage sale we did to raise money for charity involved the children purchasing trinkets (more than they sold). This was all before we implemented the 3 out for everything in rule. I have also made things into outside or garage toys to hasten their demise or packed those little, cheap McDonald type toys (they are collectibles by the way and do sell well at a garage sale if you can have someone else do all the selling and you don't even have to look at the temptations) into a little bin for car play when we have to cart children to music lessons and waitor for long car drives. By virtue of being new to them, they provide diversion and are not a big deal if they somehow end up a part of the studios permanent collection or get dropped in the parking lot - unlike our child's winter coat that we must have left on the top of the van while loading up children and drove off. We had to retrace our steps trying to find that coat (we never did - so far we have lost two or three coats). Well, these are all the ways I know for the hopelessly sentimental - most of the stuff we save no one else would want - but maybe it will help someone or at least everyone else will feel marvelously virtuous in comparison or at least have a good laugh!
Janet
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Bridget
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Posted: May 19 2005 at 7:31pm | IP Logged Quote Bridget

Janet,

This is so funny! My Dh is just like you. He has saved every student ID card he had through high school and college. He has tee shirts from concerts he went to. Bands we would not listen to now because they were so immoral or just plain stupid. Not to mention the fact that the shirts wouldn't fit on one of his thighs anymore.

I'm am a ruthless throw awayer. I cannot handle clutter.

Right now there is a ten yard dumpster in our driveway so we can clean out our garage and basement. You can imagine the hysterically funny discussions we've had about what to get rid of. He did finally agree to part with the raggedy, plastic covered, mouse infested chair that has lived in every garage we have owned that came from his Godmother's house. There was a reason she got rid of the thing.

My children have had a grand time finding things to break up and throw away. He tells me I have poisoned their minds.

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