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Betsy
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| Posted: Sept 06 2011 at 9:58am | IP Logged
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JodieLyn wrote:
Talk to your dh and find out how he wants you to deal with this. There are some things that we have found when dealing with dh's parents it's simply much more peaceful that HE talks to his parents about it. And I refuse to discuss the topic. Sometimes if you're the spokesperson you end up under fire as "making your dh" do whatever it is.. especially from his mother. So as long as your dh will step up himself and take you out of it.. it can get better. Especially if he refuses to listen to the ugly things said about you "I'm sorry mom, when you're ready to discuss the topic and not my wife we'll talk" and then get up and walk away.
And sometimes refusing to talk about a subject is the clearest answer to give for "this is not your decision".
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Ditto!
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When handcrafting my work, I always pray that it will raise your heart to all that is true, modest, just, holy, lovely and good fame!
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Erin
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| Posted: Sept 06 2011 at 4:22pm | IP Logged
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JodieLyn wrote:
| Talk to your dh and find out how he wants you to deal with this. There are some things that we have found when dealing with dh's parents it's simply much more peaceful that HE talks to his parents about it. And I refuse to discuss the topic. Sometimes if you're the spokesperson you end up under fire as "making your dh" do whatever it is.. especially from his mother. |
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Third this! This has been my position for a number of years (sad to say  ) and has been the better option. Hugs to you, I feel your pain.
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Erin
Faith Filled Days
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3Giftsathome
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| Posted: Oct 10 2011 at 7:11pm | IP Logged
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Thank you all for your support and prayers. To say this has been difficult is an understatement. The day after the discussion with my MIL, she left us a note that left us no other choice but to move out. We knew she would continue to badger us if we stayed. I called my parents and my mom showed up within the hour to help move us out.
During the past 4 weeks, my dh and I have gone through the grieving process. This inevitably put a strain on our marriage. My MIL still will not admit to attacking and criticizing me and my family. My dh and I continue to discuss the situation and our feelings. My dh was reluctant to move all our things out of her home, but after many discussions we rented a storage unit. I feel our Blessed Mother has been with us and leading us in the direction best for our family. My dh and I are closer than ever! We both, as well as our children and dogs, are more comfortable at my parents even with the smaller space. Living here has allowed us to focus our attention on the children and our marriage. I feel a renewed spirit within me. There is no doubt we made the right decision to leave my MIL's home. I have seen my MIL several times; however, homeschooling is never brought up.
I continue to pray for guidance and especially for communication with my MIL. I pray that she will some day accept that we are the parents of our children and we decide what is best for them.
Yours in Christ,
Mary
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Oct 10 2011 at 7:55pm | IP Logged
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Mary, I'm so glad you were able to find a solution that works well for your family.
Definately keep praying for your MIL. Your children are young and it may take a while for her to come around but if you can avoid the direct conflict you can still have a functional realationship with her so that your children can have that lovely grandmother/grandchild relationship. Just think of it as a spur to teaching your children not only what, but why as to your schooling choices. Even if they never argue with their grandmother.. they'll know the arguments in their heads.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Oct 10 2011 at 9:13pm | IP Logged
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Mary, I'm so glad you and your husband worked together to find a better living situation. I agree with Jodie, too, your children will be so thankful to have had a relationship with their grandmother...it's worth making the effort, for sure.
And Time is the great healer...as years pass and your MIL realizes that your children are growing up just fine, she'll probably be less judgmental about the decisions you and your husband have made.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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10 Bright Stars
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| Posted: Oct 11 2011 at 1:15pm | IP Logged
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I would think about moving out, possibly renting somewhere for awhile. I could not live under such scrutiny. It sounds as if she has a personal issue with you. She has no right to comment about how you are raising your children, BUT as you are living in her house, she will now feel emboldened.
Prayers for you. I wouldn't freak out and like move out in a weekend, but how long was your plan going to take? If it is more than a few months to a year, perhaps this is not the situation for you. Your family's peace of mind and privacy supercede everything.
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Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
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SusanMc
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| Posted: Oct 11 2011 at 2:57pm | IP Logged
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Glad to see you found another living situation. I'll pray for peace for your entire extended family.
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Mom to two dear sons, '07 and '08.
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Defending Homeschooling..please help
