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SeaStar
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| Posted: June 18 2011 at 6:50am | IP Logged
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I am so sorry to read this 
Going to confession requires great bravery and humility for ANYONE, let alone a young boy going for the first time. God's grace is still present even if our "presentation" isn't perfect. He sees our hearts.
Praying for you, your son and the priest 
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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SallyT
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| Posted: June 18 2011 at 7:57am | IP Logged
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I am so sorry to read this. I'm the FHC catechist in our parish, as well as preparing my children at home (they do take my class FHC year as well), and I *count* on our priest to help my children (my own and the kids in my class) through their first Confessions. Of course they're nervous. Of course they're going to have brain freezes. And they're learning! I depend on Father to understand that -- he does, beautifully -- and to guide them gently through it, with the understanding that they'll be back again soon. That is our aim, after all -- as I tell the children, it's not their First-and-Last Confession Ever. It's just the first of, hopefully, a lifetime of confessions and the graces received therein.
My first Confession as an adult was really nothing to write home about, either -- thank heavens the priest coached me through it, or I'd never have gone back and would not be Catholic now.
Praying for you and your son, and also for this priest. And on a pragmatic note, if there is a more approachable priest to whom you can talk and who would be willing to hear your son's confession, I would set that up asap. Even if it doesn't change the FHC scenario, I think it's probably important that confession happen soon -- like getting back on the horse after you fall off. This is a teachable moment, too: many people find confessors other than their parish priest for a variety of reasons. Your son didn't "fail" confession; he just needs another confessor for the time being. And maybe detaching First Confession from FHC will be a good thing, in that he can have time to appreciate confession for its own sacramental sake, not as a step towards the other sacrament. My husband went to confession for years before we were Catholic!
OK, too much for a prayer-forum post! I will offer my day for you.
Sally
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Castle in the Sea
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kingvozzo
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| Posted: June 18 2011 at 11:21am | IP Logged
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Thank you all for your kind and supportive words.
I'm not sure if Fr. offered absolution or not, but he did say he "wasn't even sure if the confession was valid." So he'll have to try again.
Our assoc. pastor will be at our church tomorrow, so I will talk with him. I'll let him know that John attempted to have his confession heard but that Fr. John thought he wasn't adequately prepared, and would he be willing to work with us. If he says yes, and Fr. John agrees to this arrangement, then when Fr. Hickey feels John is ready, we can just go through without involving Fr. John again.
Its of course very delicate because I don't have any idea what actually happened/was said, and Fr. John is very limited in what he can say...
I'm still stunned at being told that my sweet little boy's confession was "the worst confession heard" in 25 years as a priest!
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Noreen
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Mom to 4 great kids and 10 sweet ones in Our Lady's arms
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Carole N.
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| Posted: June 20 2011 at 4:09am | IP Logged
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Noreen, this sounds like a very difficult situation! I am so sorry that you are having this experience. I will keep you and your son in prayer. I hope that you can find a peaceful resolution soon.
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 Carole ... in Wales
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KC in TX
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| Posted: June 22 2011 at 9:34pm | IP Logged
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I am so sorry, Noreen. Praying for you all.
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KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
Mama to LB ('98)
Michaela ('01)
Emma ('03)
Jordan ('05)
And, my 2 angels, Rose ('08) and Mark ('09)
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MichelleW
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| Posted: June 23 2011 at 7:47pm | IP Logged
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Noreen,
I am just wondering if this was resolved? How should we continue to pray?
Blessings,
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Michelle
Mom to 3 (dd 14, ds 15, and ds 16)
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kingvozzo
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| Posted: July 08 2011 at 11:14pm | IP Logged
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Thank you all for your words of encouragement and prayers. They are so appreciated!
I wanted to post a quick update. Our asst. pastor was very willing to help us out, and we met with him last week. It went very well, praise God!  Our asst. pastor is a convert with several children and grandchildren, and I think that gave him some additional perspective/insight into my little guy. I'm hopeful that my John will be able to have his confession heard very soon, and then join us at the altar!
Now, if I can just let go of the hurt I feel because of how my pastor handled this all...
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Noreen
Wife to Ed
Mom to 4 great kids and 10 sweet ones in Our Lady's arms
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4Real Forums : We Pray to the Lord
Topic: First Confession update :-(
