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lisat.momof6
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| Posted: March 23 2011 at 6:07am | IP Logged
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Who has their babies at home? Tell me about it. When I get pregnant again, want to have the baby at home. It must be God telling me, because the want is so strong! I have six children. I don't want to have to worry about who's gonna keep them for OB checkups, lab work, and THE DELIVERY AND HOSPITAL STAY!!!!!! The thought of going through the whole hospital thing really overwhelms me. So, I was hoping for some experiences. 
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JamieCarin
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I have no experience (I am one of those "i love my hospital stays!" type people, but I TOTALLY understand your desire for homebirth!!), but I have a friend who just had her second successful and happy homebirth. I am sure she would love to share info with you if you would like to contact her. She is a Catholic homeschooling mom. PM me if you are interested in contact info. I can't promise she will be able to write you immediately as she literally just had a new baby a few days ago.
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Servant2theKing
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Our last two children were welcomed into our lives through home births, which were the best of all our birth experiences, although the births of all our children were profoundly meaningful and significant. I had never had complications for prior births, which were all natural; a big plus in making the decision to home birth, along with the fact that dh was completely supportive of homebirthing. I encourage any couple considering home birth to pray a great deal and to be sure they are in full accord with one another about such a decision.
My strongest memory of our home births is of a sense of grace and sacredness, a completion of the blessing of holy matrimony and family life, which was never there when we birthed in a hospital setting. With home birth there is continuity of family life, whereas hospital birth seems by its very nature to cause a sense of being disconnected from one's family. Our home births were more peacful and relaxed, particuarly because we were in our own home environment.
From a practical standpoint, our first home birth was the best of the two, mainly because the midwife we had was very relaxed and confident. Also, because she encouraged me to water birth our baby, which made it my best birth experience, as far as pain was concerned. I had been reticent throughout the pregnancy of birthing in water, even though I was aware enough of its safety and desirability. Miraculously, I responded to my midwife's gentle nudging at the time of the birth and my pain was dramatically lessened by being in the water! Just before transition I ended up singing the refrain from a recent Papal Mass, "I will praise You Lord, You have rescued me; I will praise You Lord for Your Mercy"! That gives you some idea just how blessed and wondrous the experience truly was!
It helped that we were also more prepared and knowledgable. I read everything I could get my hands on regarding home birth, and continually shared the things I was learning with dh. One of my favorite resources was "Birth Reborn", by Michel Odent, mainly for methods of assisting birth, such as water birthing, squatting and other unique ways of naturally enhancing or relieving the birth process (probably terribly out of date now, and most likely OoP). I don't think I agreed with everything Odent spoke of in his book, but it contained helpful insight into ways women can work with God's natural design for bringing forth new life. That was 14 & 16 years ago, before we had widespread access to information that internet affords. There's probably much more information available now, via internet and more up-to-date books, to assist you and your dh in learning more about home birthing.
In our case, we had lay midwives and the cost was all out-of-pocket. While it was quite an expense for us at the time, compared to 100% coverage through medical insurance, God provided the means for us to be able to make regular payments to our midwives prior to the birth. We made the commitment to home birth in large part because our local hospital started performing abortions. We felt it was contradictory to our beliefs to provide $$$ to fund the killing of other innocent babies through the birth(s) of our own precious children. We felt convicted at the time to put our money where our mouths were.
Your state may have specific laws regarding home birth, which is certainly an important consideration. You can often find information regarding your local climate for home birth, as well as the names of good midwives, through fellow homeschoolers, who can usually stear you in the right direction. You are privileged to be able to approach this subject before the need arises. I have long wished there was a Catholic resource for home birth, but I am not aware of any. May God bless your desire to birth future babies in the sanctity of your family and home. May He grace you and your dh with wisdom, prudence and right judgment in this area.
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CrunchyMom
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If your concern is the hospital stay, etc..., you could also consider a free standing birth center. It is illegal in our state to have a midwife assisted home birth, and I have never desired to have an unassisted birth myself, but my birth center births have been lovely (as birth goes  ), and I was home within a few hours of the birth without the stresses you describe above, which were my least favorite aspects of birth ing in a hospital.
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Lisbet
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I've had 10 homebirths. What, specifically do you want to know about?
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
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Angie Mc
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How much do you know about the home birth options in your area? The key is to see if you have experienced midwives and strong local back-up if hospital care is needed. I am blessed to have lived in 2 communities and states that were able to provide excellent home birth care (Davis, CA and Phoenix, AZ.)
If you do have good options and are a good candidate, then consider the feelings, reasons, and concerns of your dh. It is most important to seriously consider his guidance. The goal is to find the best care for you and baby given your options and to have strong support for your choices.
My 3 homebirths were perfect fits for me and my family. I wasn't entitled to them and my dh and I worked hard with our midwives to be as responsible as possible, making the experiences very precious to me.
I'm praying for you!
Love,
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JodieLyn
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I've had 8 at home. There's a lot of information, so it just depends on what you're looking for.
There's a lot of pros to homebirth.
There's a lot of cons too. Make no mistake.
There's a lot of considerations to take in and really, while I know the babysitting seems big.. it's really lower than a lot of other health related reasons for you and the baby.
I think one of the most important aspects is that you find what YOU are confident and comfortable with. And that's you and your dh, but not your mother or best friend
And you'll definately want to check into not only the legal climate but the rest. I know of states where homebirth may be legal.. but in practice a midwife who attempts to practise is taken to court for "practicing medicine without a license" even being proved innocent doesn't change the fact that they're drummed out of business by the continual harrassement and expense of the charges.
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Elena
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I had two great homebirths, a homebirth that turned into a transfer for cord prolapse, and a stillbirth at home (we knew the baby had died days before but he was born at home). I also was present for the homebirths of my friend and witnessed a pretty bad shoulder dystocia.
What the other moms said is very true - know the legal climate in your area and find a good attendant.
What has surprised me recently in reading about home births on line is that so many young women seem to be surprised that something can go wrong at home! I'm not sure why that is. When I was preparing for a home birth ten years ago the homebirthers I knew were extremely well educated and knew some of the things that could go wrong and knew the signs and symptoms and had their eyes open going in.
Homebirth is not like a hospital birth in the sense that when you go into it, you take on a lot of the responsibility and decision making. As long as you are aware of that and embrace it, you would probably make a good candidate for home birth!
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guitarnan
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Also check on whether your medical insurance plan covers births at home. A friend of mine wanted to try having her latest baby at home, but could not for insurance reasons. She opted for a birthing center instead and had a wonderful experience.
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Servant2theKing
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Lisa, I didn't mean to overly romanticize homebirth with my earlier post. The cautions and points made by all the wise women here are vital in making such a decision. Several have pointed out how important it is for anyone considering homebirth to truly own the decision by making every effort to be as informed and involved as possible. Just as one takes full responsibility for their child's education by choosing to homeschool, they take an even greater responsibility for the very life of their child by home birthing. Praying for wisdom and grace as you and dh consider whether home birth is an option for you.
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JamieCarin
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If you haven't watched the documentary (which is available to stream from Netflix) The Business of Being Born I highly recommend it. I am a 100% birth in a hospital with an epidural type of gal...and I am considered a high risk pregnancy so I just embrace it and leave it at that, but The Business of Being Born was totally eye opening and definitely even helpful in making decisions about interventions etc etc with my hospital births. I can't imagine a natural birther/homebirther not getting a lot out of it.
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mamaslearning
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guitarnan wrote:
| Also check on whether your medical insurance plan covers births at home. A friend of mine wanted to try having her latest baby at home, but could not for insurance reasons. She opted for a birthing center instead and had a wonderful experience. |
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It was cheaper for us to have a homebirth and pay out of pocket than to have a hospital birth (we have cruddy insurance).
I had my first in the hospital, the next two at home, and the last on at the hospital. I loved my two homebirths. They were both in water (I rented a large birthing pool - it was wonderfil!), and my last planned hospital birth was exactly what I needed.
Every birth is a risk (some more so than others), and I had to go over every possible outcome with my midwife. I needed to be sure that I could trust her care and then be able to trust God with the outcome.
I think homebirths are an excellent option for healty moms and babies. I wish more doctors practiced like midwives (I was lucky to have such a doc for my last birth).
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Susana
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Hi,
My first son was born in the hospital, but after that experience we hope to never have to go back :) I've now had 5 home births and both my husband and I love it.
This last time I tried a birthpool and boy oh boy do I wish I had used one before! I wrote a couple of blog posts on how I prepared and how the whole experience went this last time. Here are links to both:
Home Birth
Baby M's Home Water Birth
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Erin
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I've experienced a birthing centre (with my own sweet cottage), 2 homebirths (for my second homebirth the midwife didn't make it in time and I hemorrhaged badly and had to be transferred to hospital, dh was rather traumatised) and 6 hospital births (soon to be 7). There were pros and cons in each situation, but overall I would say each birth was positive and unique.
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4 lads mom
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I am tip toeing in here.....but I feel it is important to hear the other side of homebirth.....I almost lost my sweet Pete at his homebirth. It is very painful to talk about. The bottom line is, while I had a midwife with a terrific pedigree, she was an RN, taught at a big Ivy League school.....etc etc....she was overly confident, and took me on to prove to all that I could indeed have a terrific birth after many difficult OB experiences that, as far as she could see, were all because of poor OB care. She ignored some big warning signs...and then took waaaay too lightly my signs of labor, (duh, this was my fifth birth!) and my poor husband and I gave birth to a baby who was lifeless, blue and not breathing. I tried to resuscitate my baby, until the midwife ran in a few minutes later and did, after a very scary few minutes, get him breathing. It was then that we discovered that he had a syndrome that included a jaw that didn’t support his tongue and obstructed his breathing, and also a very large cleft palate. My husband and I could barely talk about this for years without having physical symptoms of PTSD. 
The take a way is.....things can go wrong no matter where you are.....but I wished we had been in a hospital. I can’t tell you that I am against homebirth....but after a previous baby (before Pete) had died at 18 weeks, and had some kind of genetic issues, and baby number three (before the loss) had seen genetics, and they were thinking he had some kind of syndrome.....I should never have been a candidate for a homebirth...and my midwife’s ego so got in the way, as well as my desire for a good birth....that our judgement was clouded in a big way. She totally ignored my concerns over Pete’s ultrasound, where I SAW how tiny his jaw was.....the radiologist and her both missed this.
I pray for peace, clarity, and wisdom in your decision.....and I hope others can understand I felt I had to share my experience because the reality is, not all homebirths are okay.
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Susana
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4 lads mom wrote:
I am tip toeing in here.....but I feel it is important to hear the other side of homebirth.....I almost lost my sweet Pete at his homebirth. It is very painful to talk about. The bottom line is, while I had a midwife with a terrific pedigree, she was an RN, taught at a big Ivy League school.....etc etc....she was overly confident, and took me on to prove to all that I could indeed have a terrific birth after many difficult OB experiences that, as far as she could see, were all because of poor OB care. She ignored some big warning signs...and then took waaaay too lightly my signs of labor, (duh, this was my fifth birth!) and my poor husband and I gave birth to a baby who was lifeless, blue and not breathing. I tried to resuscitate my baby, until the midwife ran in a few minutes later and did, after a very scary few minutes, get him breathing. It was then that we discovered that he had a syndrome that included a jaw that didn’t support his tongue and obstructed his breathing, and also a very large cleft palate. My husband and I could barely talk about this for years without having physical symptoms of PTSD.
The take a way is.....things can go wrong no matter where you are.....but I wished we had been in a hospital. I can’t tell you that I am against homebirth....but after my baby before Pete had died at 18 weeks, and had some kind of genetic issues, and baby number three (before the loss) had seen genetics, and they were thinking he had some kind of syndrome.....I should never have been a candidate for a homebirth...and my midwife’s ego so go in the way, and my desire for a good birth....that our judgement was clouded in a big way. She totally ignored my concerns over Pete’s ultrasound, where I SAW how tiny his jaw was.....the radiologist and her both missed this.
I pray for peace, clarity, and wisdom in your decision.....and I hope others can understand I felt I had to share my experience because the reality is, not all homebirths are okay.
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Thank you so much for sharing this with us. It is important that anyone considering a home birth also know the risks. Thank you also for mentioning the "overly confident midwife". It is a great point to bring up, because in fact there are definitely midwives out there like that. I've met some that have come off that way too. Midwives like these are not putting mama and baby first. Thank you again for sharing. Although I've had 5 home births, it is still good to keep in mind. Lot's of hugs and I am so sorry you went through all of that. God bless you 
Susana
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Elena
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I don't think I can stress enough the need to read, research, interview, question, and go with your gut and even change caregivers if you have to. That might mean changing midwives, it might mean going to the hospital, it might mean traveling a good distance to find someone you feel very secure with. Sometimes it really is going with your gut!
But at the end of the day it's the mom and dad who have to live with these choices and decisions. And when you look back you want to be able to say that you absolutely made the best possible decision based on the best effort to be informed and educated.
And I think I'd add tht goes for moms planning a hospital birth as well. It's easy to become a compliant patient - much more challenging to be an informed health care consumer. But again the reality is if you don't know your choices, then you don't have any!
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Elena
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JodieLyn
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4 lads mom
That's exactly what I meant in saying that there are considerations that should be kept high priority for the health of mom and the baby.
Because as you say the reality is that there can be problems no matter where you choose to birth.. and those problems can be helped or hindered by your choice of attendant, your own level of knowledge and what emergency equipment/help is available.
My choice in a homebirth where I'm less than 5 minutes from the hospital will be different than someone who is 30 minutes from a hospital.
Not to mention the health and health history of the mom and any previous pregnancies, the experience of the attendant, the prevelance of unnecessary interventions (note: I do not mean when they're used for a real need) etc etc.
There really is a lot to consider and educate yourself on.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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knowloveserve
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I highly recommmend reading Ina May's book: Ina May's Guide to Childbirth
The reviews say it all. It is a great eye opener to birthing in general and while it does focus a lot on homebirthing, the others are clear that it is NOT for every woman, and NOT for every baby.
That said, my last baby was born at home and it was an amazing experience and unlike all the other births in so many ways. The labor was better, delivery easier, healing was better, no post-partum depression, first time not tearing (with her arm presenting too!), totally empowering and spiritual.
This baby will be born at home. And yes, we have to pay out of pocket... but it's something that is so very, very worth it to me.
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marianhome
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hello,
we had our first two babies in the hospital, and I felt cheated...so for our third we did a lot of reading and immersed into a homebirth. I did enjoy the experience very much and I would have said the risk was so well worth it, it gave us peace of mind with many things. But then, unfortunately three days later, I got a UTI and since then for three years I have been unable to carry a child. There is no scientific connection with both events, but inwardly I am connecting them. I do not know what would I choose if I had to again, but right now I am thinking hospital.
I hope all this subjective stories are what you were asking, blessings,
raquel
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Raquel&David, Maria 8, Rebecca 6, Samuel 4, and early pregnancy babies in heaven.
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Homebirth?
