4Real Forums: Crippling Expectations

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

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Topic: Crippling Expectations

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hylabrook1
Forum Moderator

Joined: July 09 2006
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Posts: 5980

Posted: Jan 05 2011 at 5:54pm \| IP Logged

Janet - Am I living your life or are you living mine?

Peace,
Nancy

stacykay
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Joined: April 08 2006
Location: Michigan
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1858

Posted: Jan 05 2011 at 8:36pm \| IP Logged

Cay,

I have been experiencing much of what you have written. This week has been especially difficult for many reasons...

First, I have to share that I agree with you and Nancy, that having those college-age "children," is a whole different ball of wax, and comes with such greater challenges than I ever expected. I have one who just graduated college in Dec. and is now job-hunting and studying for GREs, and the other is home and commuting. When they have needs, they are much deeper problems than the younger boys, and often way more angst filled. Their troubles become your troubles. And we were hit for a loop this week.

Second, I often feel like I am letting everyone down. Whether real or imagined. And our priest has told me time and again, that those times of doubts and feeling inferior to others are times that Satan wants to bring us down and make us doubt ourselves more.

Third, and this has been a trouble for years, I have often felt let down by my built up expectations of others. I have sisters who have been distant for...well, for pretty much all my life. There are moments where I think, "Oh! Things are going to be different, now and we are going to be so close!," only to get my hopes dashed, once again (like they were this past weekend). My adopted papa often reminds me that most people don't change. If my one sister has always caused dissension with extended family, from my earliest memory, why am I surprised that she is still doing it? That's where I really have to let go, in my expectations of others (and not thinking "if only I did more x,y, or z things would be different.) I simply can't change anyone.

Fourth, like everyone else has mentioned, putting God and immediate family first, (and don't forget yourself in that equation- your health in all realms,) is the most important thing. I really thought I could handle a job I was asked to do at our church this past summer (of course during a time when I felt a bit relaxed and a little too optimistic about my time and resources during the busy days of school and tax season!) Now that I am in the midst of it, I am so regretting my "yes" to take this task on, and am rehearsing my "no thank you," should it come up again this summer.

I haven't given one bit of helpful advice; in fact I've rather rambled.

I just wanted to let you know you are so not alone in this, and also, to maybe share some of my emotional woes from this week.

Prayers!

In Christ,
Stacy in MI

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