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Sarah
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Our diocese retains male-only altar servers.
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Maddie
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Just a couple thoughts regarding female altar servers:
1. Would my son have to disrobe in the same sacristy with a girl, is this appropriate?
2.What boy wants to put on a cassock that has been worn by a girl with perfume on it?
I have seen altar girls shed their cassocks after Mass near the altar, revealing VERY immodest clothing. Where are the standards regarding this behavior?
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teachingmom
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Ugh! I am so disappointed in this. I'm hoping and praying that my pastor will decide to stick with only male altar servers so it will not even be an issue in our house for now.
Elizabeth, have you heard anything yet? I was hoping to run into Father after Holy Hour tonight, but he was busy in the sacristy too long and we had to go.
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Elizabeth
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teachingmom wrote:
Elizabeth, have you heard anything yet? I was hoping to run into Father after Holy Hour tonight, but he was busy in the sacristy too long and we had to go. |
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I'm not at all concerned that there will be a change Irene, and here's why:
Someone up this thread wrote that the altar girls in her parish wear robes, just like the altar boys. When St. V's was founded, my boys were the only servers, so we purchased the first cassocks. I distinctly remember talking about style etc. with Fsther. We got rounded necks because they were less likely to look askew. But more importantly, we got cassocks--the dress of a priest. Girls are not allowed to wear cassocks. Father knew that and he knew that as a young parish, we were making an investment to build that supply of cassocks, not an investment made lightly. One parish over, the altar servers wear robes. When I asked about it there, I was told that they had robes because they were praying that "one day the Bishop would decide this diocese could handle it and girls would be servers." It's not going to happen at St. V's--we're too heavily (and purposefully) invested in cassocks  . I do wonder though, what kind of problems the "parish-by-parish" policy will create when there are pastor changes. But then, I'm totally "pastor phobic" after our last experience.
I was kind of bummed that St. V's didn't get the indult Mass...I really thought we were being prepped for it.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Mary G
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We have a dear friend who is a Msgr in North Carolina -- where the Bishop always encouraged male and female servers, but it was left to the discretion of the pastor.
When Msgr took over the parish he's in now, there were few altar servers (of either sex). He called a meeting with all parents of appropriate aged children and told them he had other jobs for the girls and that only boys would serve Mass. He now has as many as 16 boys on the altar at any given Mass. The girls have others roles -- greeters, clean up pews after Mass, Altar Guild oriented jobs.
He told us only one family balked at his announcement!
I've seen this happen in other parishes too -- when it's only boys allowed to serve, the boys come and serve!
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Jen L.
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Diane wrote:
While these pastors will most likely continue with a boys-only policy, I can't help but wonder what will happen if one of them is moved to a more liberal parish whose previous pastor allowed girls.  |
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Exactly. It will take a strong pastor to keep all boys, but an even stronger one to change a parish "back". Let's keep praying for our pastors!
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Bookswithtea
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So what do you do if you are in a diocese where almost all the parishes have both girl and boy altar servers?
In my family, we have a boy altar server and a girl who *wants* to be an altar server when she is 10. I saw the look on my ds's face when it dawned on him that his sister would be old enough in a year. If she serves, I think he won't want to serve much longer. He will perceive it as girly and for "younger" kids.
How do you explain to your daughters that you won't allow them to serve when your good and holy priest *does* allow it and the head of our hs group here has a dd who serves and is an example to all the other littler girls. They are a very conservative family, btw...in all issues but this one (they only have girls).
There is one parish in our entire diocese that does it the "only boy" way...they are the magnet parish for those who love tradition and have a "reputation" as such. I have one friend who makes the drive...its an hour each way to go to that parish. Is this issue important enough that you would switch parishes over it? Our parish priest is excellent, btw. Young and full of enthusiasm for the faith.
~Books
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Natalia
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This is more a comment related to the comments of the prayer thread for your diocese, Jenn. If I remember correctly your diocese is one of the more conservative in the nation. Have you changed bishop? If not, I don't see why having female altar servers has to be the beginning of a down spiral. Our parish has, and has had, altar servers for a while but we have an excellent pastor. It is a conservative parish, well grounded in the teachings of the Church. Allowing girls to serve hasn't triggered any other liberal responses.
I can see though, how it can become a source of division if people make a bigger deal out of it that it deserves ( not that I thnk you are doing this=just people in general)
JMO,
Natalia
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JennGM
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Natalia wrote:
This is more a comment related to the comments of the prayer thread for your diocese, Jenn. If I remember correctly your diocese is one of the more conservative in the nation. Have you changed bishop? If not, I don't see why having female altar servers has to be the beginning of a down spiral. Our parish has, and has had, altar servers for a while but we have an excellent pastor. It is a conservative parish, well grounded in the teachings of the Church. Allowing girls to serve hasn't triggered any other liberal responses.
I can see though, how it can become a source of division if people make a bigger deal out of it that it deserves ( not that I thnk you are doing this=just people in general) |
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We had a bishop change in 1999. Bishop Loverde has been a bishop in other diocese. I am not going to label him, but for brevity sake, some of his pastoral decisions in the past lean to the liberal side. He is extremely pro-life, which is good.
He "inherited" Bishop Keating's decision to not have altar girls, made in 1994. Many of our priests requested him to not make the change, as he wanted to. He's waited to now implement it. The "downward spiral", at least to me, alludes to some of other items on his agenda he's tried to push, and also seeing what he has done in his previous posts.
There is a VERY sharp divide in the conservative and liberal Catholics in our diocese. Different issues and scandals have come up which have revealed this division, so that's the reason I ask for prayers. We've seen it before....
What saddens dh and me the most is the tone of his letter. I just can't believe that he would use meditating and praying on the Year of the Eucharist as his reason for implementing this change. It just rings hollow to me. Reread Pope John Paul II's Letter on the Year of the Eucharist, and the other documents giving ideas on how to expand on this devotion. Holy Hours, Processions, more reverence, studying the GIRM -- some clear cut suggestions.
So his Meditations brought forward female acolytes?? 
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JennGM
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Sarah wrote:
| Our diocese retains male-only altar servers. |
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That would mean you're in the Lincoln diocese, with my sister. Bruskewitz is a blessing.
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JennGM
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Elizabeth wrote:
| We got rounded necks because they were less likely to look askew. But more importantly, we got cassocks--the dress of a priest. Girls are not allowed to wear cassocks. |
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I didn't remember this! We have the cassocks. They look so nice. I dislike the robes, they make me think of the Ku Klux Klan.
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JennGM
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threesilosfarm wrote:
Just a couple thoughts regarding female altar servers:
1. Would my son have to disrobe in the same sacristy with a girl, is this appropriate?
2.What boy wants to put on a cassock that has been worn by a girl with perfume on it?
I have seen altar girls shed their cassocks after Mass near the altar, revealing VERY immodest clothing. Where are the standards regarding this behavior? |
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Sorry all the postings!
These are some of my concerns. Plus the boy/girl situation in the dressing room. Not that they are disrobing, but is it going to be supervised? In our parish it's a little room, closed off. Since our servers range from 4th grade to high school, the hormones are raging.
Good point about the perfume. Of course, not many girls would want to share a robe with a smelly boy, either.
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Jennifer G. Miller
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MacBeth
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Elizabeth wrote:
| We got rounded necks because they were less likely to look askew. But more importantly, we got cassocks--the dress of a priest. Girls are not allowed to wear cassocks. |
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Is this a formal church teaching, or a local thing? Trip is dying to drop a note to Monsignor .
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JennGM
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MacBeth wrote:
Elizabeth wrote:
| We got rounded necks because they were less likely to look askew. But more importantly, we got cassocks--the dress of a priest. Girls are not allowed to wear cassocks. |
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Is this a formal church teaching, or a local thing? Trip is dying to drop a note to Monsignor . |
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Not sure the universality, but it's taken from our diocesan regulations
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MacBeth
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No such rule in RVC. Interesting.
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Elizabeth
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MacBeth wrote:
No such rule in RVC. Interesting. |
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Oh great; that, too, could change.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Angie Mc
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Mary G. wrote:
The girls have others roles -- greeters, clean up pews after Mass, Altar Guild oriented jobs.
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How fortunate, Mary. Having special roles for girls and boys reflects the truth of who we are as men and women. Part of the answer would seem to be to provide service opportunities for girls that are valued by the parish and priest. Yet, due to insurance issues and fear of litigation, there are fewer ways for children, boys and girls, to serve in parishes. Vicious cycle, isn't it?
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teachingmyown
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I think it was MacBeth (I am being lazy here, not looking back  ) who asked where the boys are. Well, all of the parishes that we have belonged to here in the Diocese of Arlington are brimming over with altar boys. We have at least six on the altar at every weekend Mass. Our last parish had more. The only parishes that I have seen with only one or two servers are the liberal-leaning parishes, no kneelers, hand-holding, etc.
for what it is worth, I do think that female Eucharistic Ministers can be a problem as well. Too many are not modest enough in their dress, wear perfume and distracting make-up, etc. Now I won't say it is wrong, (my mother is one!) but I don't think it is preferrable.
My girls know that they will not be altar servers and they know why.
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Mare
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Jenn,
Thanks for sharing your thoughts. It's been interesting for me to read the various responses and viewpoints. I never really thought of myself as a <gulp> "liberal Catholic" but in light of this conversation, I believe I am in this forum. 
I think it is wonderful to hear so much passion for the Church and the future of the Church. What role models you each are to your children. I will continue to keep your diocese in prayer.
Peace,
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Christine
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"Liberal" Catholics have changed the Church from within. We can restore the Church in the same way.
I live in one of the most liberal diocese in the country. Fortunately, we belong to a parish where the pastor is the only one who distributes the Eucharist and altar girls are not allowed. 12 altar boys serve Sunday Mass each week (they barely fit in our small sanctuary). The little boys in our parish look forward to their First Communion and serving Mass. Father trains them personally and the older altar boys are responsible for keeping the young or new boys in line (a little like Boys' Town). The boys wear their Sunday Mass clothes until Father deems they are ready to don a cassock. Three boys were blessed as full-fledged altar boys (I don't know the terminology) during a Mass in January. Two more boys are still in training. Father takes the boys on a trip once a year and really promotes comaraderie among them. I often think that we might be going through a hard time now with certain abuses and practices in the Church, but hopefully our parish is representative of the future. I pray that the altar boys from orthodox families eventually become our archbishops and bishops.
I am noticing that young priests (those in their 30s and 40s) in our diocese seem to have the courage to make positive, albeit slow, changes. One of our young priests recently had the sanctuary in his church restored to its proper place.
One last thought, the boys are in the parishes where they are the only ones serving at the altar.
I will be praying for those in Bishop Loverde's diocese.
In Christ,
Christine
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4Real Forums : Domestic Church
Topic: Dealing with Female Altar Servers
