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Pilgrim
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| Posted: Nov 16 2010 at 6:23am | IP Logged
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Amy, I'm so sorry you and your family are going through such a time. You are very much in our prayers here. Thnak you for sharing with us you cross, so we can try and help bear it even the littlest bit by our prayers. It is truly a grace to share each other's burdens, to be able to reach outside of our own troubles to give to another. It helps us forget our troubles, and also brings grace to our souls by calling us to prayer, and nearer to God in giving of ourselves. Many  and prayers!
Thank you all for your beautiful words, they have encouraged me, as well. And thank you Marcia for the link, it's wonderful, and for mentioning the Rosary Mp3s I'm downloading them for dh at work, but also to bring peace to chaotic days! 
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Wife 2 my bf, g14,b8,g&b6,g4,g3,g1 1/2,4 ^i^
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amyable
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| Posted: Nov 16 2010 at 6:52am | IP Logged
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Thank you THANK YOU everyone for your prayers, kind thoughts, advice, links, PMs etc!
Last night I could feel you all holding up the arms of the cross with me.
I have so many words jumbling up in my brain, maybe I'd better just say silent here.  But I did want to reiterate that it isn't the suffering per se that is making me so upset (although I hate it! No saint am I!  ) - it is feeling like I have a true need, expressing that need to God in fervent/believing prayers, then having him not only say "No" but "No and here let me make it worse than you could imagine". And often He teases me with what *appears* to be a Yes answer, only to quickly take it away, hard. It all just seems so cruel. God knows He is all I've got right now, and when He's "gone" or "cruel" why bother? At least Mother Teresa and Teresa of Avila could see some fruit of their labors, some "blessing" on their efforts. I don't even have that.
I know I *must* be misinterpreting it all, because he's God after all, but it hurts and I don't get it.
But thank you everyone, again. If I have some time later I'll address some individual posts.
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of 
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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Ruth
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| Posted: Nov 16 2010 at 7:07am | IP Logged
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I'm so sorry, Amy. I will offer many prayers for you and your dear husband. God bless you!
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Ruth
mom to 7 miracles
My family blog
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Angel
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| Posted: Nov 16 2010 at 8:23am | IP Logged
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I'm praying for you, Amy. I know how you are feeling.
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Angela
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Nov 16 2010 at 8:53am | IP Logged
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I know you try very hard to be grateful for God's blessings in your life, Amy. I hope you'll take a minute to look at the "fruits of your labors," too - you have given your children a warm and loving home, an example of a marriage in which vows are truly lived out each day, a wonderful example of trust and faith in God under all circumstances...
I'm praying hard for you today!
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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stefoodie
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| Posted: Nov 16 2010 at 1:22pm | IP Logged
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Amy, I am praying for you.
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stef
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kingvozzo
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| Posted: Nov 16 2010 at 1:31pm | IP Logged
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Amy, I'm so sorry to read that you're struggling so...I'm am praying mightily for you.
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Noreen
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Booksnbabes
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| Posted: Nov 16 2010 at 11:59pm | IP Logged
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Praying for you in your struggle!
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Wife to wonderful DH, mom to SIX beautiful gifts from God!
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SuzanneG
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| Posted: Nov 17 2010 at 12:35am | IP Logged
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Amy -
I've been praying for you all day, and just got a chance to post and send you many cyber hugs! Will continue fervent prayers for you. 
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Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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stellamaris
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| Posted: Nov 17 2010 at 4:37am | IP Logged
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Amy, our Lord said to Daniel, "Do not be afraid, beloved, you are safe; take courage and be strong!" I cannot tell you how often I say those words to myself, reminding myself that I AM His beloved...beloved of God!... and that, even in the midst of my own anxieties and fears, I am safe. This little verse has helped me so much, and I pray that it will be an encouragement and consolation for you as well. I pray today that you may experience the Spirit's gift of fortitude, of courage, and that hope might revive and strength in your soul. I am praying for all of your intentions.
ETA: "beloved" in verse, posted before coffee...never a good idea!
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In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
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Carole N.
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| Posted: Nov 17 2010 at 6:56am | IP Logged
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Amy, I am just seeing this but know that I will be praying for you during this time. I really don't have any words of wisdom other than to persevere!
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Carole ... in Wales
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Sharyn
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| Posted: Nov 17 2010 at 8:27am | IP Logged
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Dear Amy, praying for you
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Mum to dd (00), ds (03), dd (04), ds (06), one in God's care (08), dd (09), ds (11), one in God's care (13), and ds (13)
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Willa
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| Posted: Nov 17 2010 at 10:33am | IP Logged
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Dear Amy,
I started writing a post when I saw your OP. I just hesitated to actually push send because I didn't see what I could add to what others have said.... and I also was afraid to sound, well, glib or something... I know your post comes out of deep ongoing pain and I would not want to add to it or make it sound like I thought a few words could make a huge difference.
All I REALLY know is that I love your truthfulness and daily fortitude and sense of humor and if I love you without even knowing you IRL then God just MUST love you SO MUCH.
I can't believe He is taking things away on purpose just to show you or anything like that. It even occurs to me that it's like Jody said -- some of this might be going on not because of you directly, but because God is working in other lives besides your own. Maybe He is asking for you to bear it for a little while?
You are in good company -- Jesus at Gethsemane asked that the cup be taken from Him, and I have no doubt that He said this as a direct message to you (and to me, as well, and others). Surely if it was permitted that He go through so much, He, the dearly Beloved of His Father, then tribulation does not mean that love is not there. In His case, suffering was necessary to redeem the whole world -- perhaps some souls out there are being sanctified by your sufferings without you even knowing it.
What you said about God ratcheting it up reminded me of when Aidan was in the ICU just about exactly 11 years ago. Heaven was being stormed on his behalf by many, many devout and holy people .... yet every day we arrived at the hospital there was new, devastating news. A stroke.... a possible fungal infection in his brain.... a rejection.... everything that could go wrong, went wrong. He was daily suffering the kind of pain and stress you wouldn't want your worst enemy to bear. And Aidan was so innocent.... he was only 5 months old. Either God was callous or there was some purpose beyond anything I could possibly understand. I often thought of Jesus on His Via Dolorosa and wondered if Aidan and our family could be having the privilege of being like Simon of Cyrene.... not as if we leaped at the chance, but still, a privilege.
Hitting the Post button a bit nervously -- I am praying for bread for you, with all my heart, and will continue to do so!
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AMDG
Willa
hsing boys ages 11, 14, almost 18 (+ 4 homeschool grads ages 20 to 27)
Take Up and Read
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4 lads mom
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| Posted: Nov 17 2010 at 2:09pm | IP Logged
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Willa, I cried the whole time I read your post.....you have expressed so well what I wanted to say to dear Amy.
When Pete was in speech therapy a long time ago, we had a sweet therapist that was Catholic. She wasn’t well catechized, like so many of us out there, and I think, at times, thought my family a little peculiar in our humble attempts to really follow the Church’s teachings. As time went on, we grew to love her, she was one of the best. I thought so highly of her, that I recommended her to a friend of mine who also has special needs children. After we left therapy with her, and moved on, my friend continued on with her child in therapy for a very long time.
So, after a while, the therapist started asking questions about Faith..and before you know it, she is meeting with my friend, at prayer groups with her, going to Latin Mass...having more babies....now homeschooling.....and only working one day a week. WOW!! I don’t want to write a book here....but I can assure you, that had Pete not needed extensive therapy, had my friend and I not been there to share our stories and witness to her.....I am not sure where it would all be right now. I DO NOT take credit for any of this.....but it gives me (and Pete) so much joy to know that his suffering could have very well saved a marriage, and drawn a family deeper into their Faith. I feel like He gave us a tiny, tiny peek into what this life is all about. I have asked over and over how could two little ones suffer so much, and it just doesn’t stop....there is always SOMETHING to get through with these two. BUT.....I know when I am “out there” that my family is a witness, a pitiful one at times, I can assure you, but in our weaknesses, I know that is when the greatest Glory, His Glory, is being done.
I think He wants all of us to walk with you....and pray...and pray and pray. I’m right there with you, Sister!!!
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Mom of four brave lads and one sweet lassie
Scenes From This and That
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Chris V
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Oh Amy, I'm just now seeing this and will be praying, praying, praying for you; and tucking away, in my own heart, the kind, wonderful, and blessed words of the gracious women who dwell here.
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Chris
Happy Wife with my Happy Life
Mama to My Five Girls ('04~'07~'09~'11~'11)
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anitamarie
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Praying for an easing of your burden and frustration, Amy, and relief for your dh.
Anita
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Chari
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Hugs and prayers for you, Amy.
Offering up my little pain right now for you.
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Chari...Take Up & Read
Dh Marty 27yrs...3 lovely maidens: Anne 24, Sarah 20 & Maddelyn 17 and 3 chivalrous sons: Matthew 22, Garrett 16 & Malachy 11
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Kathryn
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I have no words to help you understand just . May the prayer warriors here lift you up and help you find some peace in your day.
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Kathryn in TX
(dd 16, ds 15, dd 8, dd 5)
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mariB
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Dear Amy, keeping you in my daily prayer intentions. I have no words to offer except that God loves you... Praying the Divine Chaplet...
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marib-Mother to 22ds,21ds,18ds,15dd,11dd and wife to an amazing man for 23 years
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Nov 22 2010 at 6:48am | IP Logged
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Amy, I prayed extra hard for you yesterday and offered my Mass for your intentions.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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4Real Forums : We Pray to the Lord
Topic: Loss of faith
