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Cay Gibson
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Has anyone read or seen this book?
If not perhaps we can discuss "Making a Family Home" and books that we use to do this.
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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JodieLyn
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Cay, I'd be careful with that book. It looks like it's published by a Steiner resource.
But by all means.. let's
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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Cay Gibson
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JodieLyn wrote:
Cay, I'd be careful with that book. It looks like it's published by a Steiner resource.
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Ooops! Sorry 'bout that. 
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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guitarnan
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I'd love to talk about making a family home...we're in the middle of a home addition and we are up to our eyeballs in shoveled-out stuff, things that have no places,etc. I need all the help I can get!!! 
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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JodieLyn
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My experience is that it's less about the things and more about the arrangment of things and the people. Even in houses with horrid wallpaper and awful rugs or whatever you can make things a home by making the spaces inviting, the house comfortable (not so crowded you feel unable to move, not breakable things set out everywhere waiting for a bump to fall over, things that won't look dirty if you just brush past them) And the atmosphere of welcoming from the people will make a huge difference as well.
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G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
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Belle
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Yes, what Jodie said.
Being an Army wife and moving every two years means we often have to try to make a house a home on a regular basis.
The things that make a home are the little things. Sounds silly but curtains! Curtains instantly turn my Army owned house into my home. (All DHA houses have those awful vertical blinds, but no curtains.)
Welcome mats, rugs and the shelves my very handy husband adds to rooms make all the difference for me. And a lovely little garden in the back yard. (A handy husband is the most important part of that equation since all our homes are lent to us....ie.rentals, we have to put them back the way we found them)
But the best thing I personally think that makes a house a home is the sound of laughter and the smell of home cooked meals. It's the people who make a house a home.
Excuse my ignorance but what is a Steiner resource?
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guitarnan
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Belle, you are so right about the curtains! (We're Navy.) I think I have at least one pair of curtains to fit every size window in the USA and Europe.
Rudolf Steiner was the person who developed the philosophy (I guess you would call it that) of anthroposophy, which is the basis for the Waldorf schools' educational theories. (Steiner started the first Waldorf school.) Anthroposophy has been condemned by the Church, so we don't discuss it or Waldorf here.
We rented one house that had all PINK mini-blinds. 
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Cay Gibson
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guitarnan wrote:
We rented one house that had all PINK mini-blinds.
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Ewwww...DARING!
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Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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CrunchyMom
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Cay Gibson wrote:
guitarnan wrote:
We rented one house that had all PINK mini-blinds.
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Ewwww...DARING! |
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--but not quite homey. 
I do think that arrangement is good. Layout is so much more important than size for me.
Long-term and in terms of "stuff" in the house, I really like what Sarah Susanka says in The Not So Big House. She says that the features that make a home feel homey/cozy are the things that would remain were you to turn the house upside down and shake it.
I find that is true in my own home. One of the nice things about having a small house is that one can better afford some more expensive details (because it doesn't take as much) like nice moldings, nicer wallpaper (if you like paper) or fancy paints (we have a Ralph Lauren Suede texture in our dining room which adds a lot of warmth, but we only needed one can), tile, etc...
One of my favorite such details in my own home is the ceiling in our teensy living room. It is papered in nautical charts which are of both the waterways my husband loved growing up (St. Clair River, Lake Huron, The Straits of Mackanac) and those around us now.
So, for my money, I would spend more on architectural elements instead of furniture and knick-knacks (probably, in part, because I don't have space for much). In my home, I have some cafe curtains and would like some roman shades some day for some rooms, but we have (fake) wooden plantation shades which I find still allow us to see the pretty (in some cases original, we live in a early 1900 row home my husband renovated) window molding.
I feel so blessed to have a husband who is handy. We have a few different built-ins instead of furniture in our house, and I find it just seems so "permanent." I wonder if the permanence of such features somehow expresses a feeling of "safety" which makes a home feel like a haven?
In the house I grew up in, my parents didn't ever seem to have the money to add all those nice trimmings and things as they would like, and the furniture was always shabby, BUT my dad did make one of the walls in our living room all shelves with cabinets underneath which concealed the tv and stereo, etc... That was always my favorite part of our house. I'm sure all the books helped, too. Or maybe it had to do with its being my dad's "magnum opus" before he gave up woodworking as a regular hobby? At any rate, we didn't have a fire place (which is something dh and I really want in our dream home), but that area acted as a "hearth" in many ways.
A nice hearth is also one of those "permanent" things, and I think that sort of "center" or "hub" to a home.
One of our newest additions (just this past weekend) is a bunk in the boys' room. It is a teeny room with a jut out in which my husband built a daybed before he'd even met me. It has been the boys bed, but this past week he added a bunk (and managed to be thrifty and built the ladder from scraps he had in the basement), and it makes such a cozy playing space for lego/playmobile (which are in the drawers of the built-in), I think we'll make the boys stick out sharing a twin for a while longer! This picture isn't very good, but the morning sun was strong, and the room is so little, it is hard to get a good photo.
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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Belle
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guitarnan wrote:
Belle, you are so right about the curtains! (We're Navy.) I think I have at least one pair of curtains to fit every size window in the USA and Europe.
Rudolf Steiner was the person who developed the philosophy (I guess you would call it that) of anthroposophy, which is the basis for the Waldorf schools' educational theories. (Steiner started the first Waldorf school.) Anthroposophy has been condemned by the Church, so we don't discuss it or Waldorf here.
We rented one house that had all PINK mini-blinds. |
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Oh thank you. I am not very familiar with the Waldorf style, so that's probably a good thing!
Pink mini blinds? Gotta love an investment property.
One of the monstrosities we lived in was like five different houses cut up and taped together. My bathroom had gorgeous fake wood panelling and pink carpet...(who puts carpet in a bathroom?) and my family room looked like a ski lodge! There were four different carpet styles plus tiles and linoleum. Huge house with heaps of storage and despite its hideous interior, we all loved that house to bits. It had character. And somehow it was just home....
(And yes  I am pretty sure I have curtains to fit every sized window here in Australia too! My MIL makes out like demon with new curtains every couple of moves. I just rotate what sizes I need...)
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StefA
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JodieLyn wrote:
Cay, I'd be careful with that book. It looks like it's published by a Steiner resource.
But by all means.. let's
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| discuss "Making a Family Home" and books that we use to do this |
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What does it being published by a Steiner resource mean?
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guitarnan
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There are certain publishers that specialize in Steiner books and related materials. Because the philosophy Steiner developed, anthroposophy, has been condemned by the Church, we don't discuss his writings or related works here.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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LucyP
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I think it has way more to do with atmosphere. I know one lady who has a very large period property - parts are tudor, parts georgian, and the rest victorian all with bags of character and lovely little quirks. It has a to-die-for farmhouse kitchen - huge table, wood stove, ceramic sink, pantry, dresser crammed with antique china - every room is like that, full of antiques and beautiful objects, but all looking homey and cosy, not off-putting. Usually there will be big vases of fresh flowers or greenery, depending on season. Eggs from her hens, her knitting on a chair, cat by the fire, apples from her orchard. The first time I visited, I was amazed as it was like my dream home.
BUT the atmosphere is oppressive, the children who lived there endured abusive childhoods, it is uncomfortable and just feels creepy.
So to me, I have to say the style of decor, the amount of wear and tear or chaos or even a certain amount of dirt don't matter - if there is genuine love and happiness.
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CrunchyMom
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Lucy, I think that this is true. A home will not feel homey and comfortable if one feels afraid of breaking the beautiful things in it.
I've been thinking about this all week. Growing up, my mom never wanted people over because she was embarrassed our house was not as nice/clean/whatever as others. BUT, other children/young people loved being at our home and have strong memories of their time there because they felt loved and valued by my parents. My mother always popped popcorn or made brownies from scratch. We always laughed a lot even though my parents were never those "popular" people with tons of friends. It was a different kind of laughter.
I do think that physical surroundings can make a difference, though. It isn't essential, but it isn't valueless. GK Chesterton has an essay where he talks about a person's home being the one place they can imitate their creator by creating. It may not be great art or a symphony, but it is an expression of themselves.
I find that dream homes are not as homey to me as "real" homes. Some of the most beautiful homes I've been to have felt cavernous and cold. When everything matches too perfectly, it doesn't seem natural, lol. I do like looking at decorating magazines and catalogs for how to arrange what I have and color combinations, etc...But I don't want my home to look like a catalog.
Speaking of which, I think that this new blog Catalog Living is one of the funniest things. I wish I'd thought of it because its just way too fun. I'll never look at a catalog the same way
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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CrunchyMom
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Reflecting further on what Lucy said and what I wrote, I think one of the things that was distinctive about my childhood home was that we were all together. We did stuff as a family. If I visited most of my friends, we were mostly left to ourselves, but in my house, my parents were at least "around" and often "a part." You didn't come to my house just to see me, you saw everybody. When I stayed home on Friday nights, I was hanging out with my parents and siblings, not in my room alone.
Perhaps some of the bigger homes can be less "homey" when they enable us to "get away" too easily. Some solitude is good for the soul, of course! Just thinking aloud.
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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JodieLyn
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You ever hear the song "Little Houses" by Doug Stone, Lindsay? It's one of my favorite songs to listen to when I'm exasperated by the small size of my house.
"Love grows best in little houses
with fewer walls to seperate.
Where ya eat and sleep so close together
you can't help but communicate.
Oh and if we had more room between us
think of all we'd miss.
Love grows best in houses just like this."
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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dakotamidnight
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This is semi-related, and it might be better to start a new thread with it, but what are the little things that make a home "Catholic" to you? What are the Must-Haves?
I'm a convert, didn't grow with up Catholic friends, never set foot in a home that was more than cafeteria Catholic at best. As I'm working on our school room and bedroom {because DD and I share - single parent and my parents live with us who are non-Catholic} I'm trying to make our space of the house at least a more Catholic space.
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guitarnan
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I love seeing Catholic art in the home. We have a crucifix, an icon and a few other things. I keep holy cards on display in my kitchen, since that is where I spend most of my time.
We don't have space for a dedicated altar, but we do try to put something in each of our "living space" rooms that is Catholic.
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LucyP
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I don't think the problem with the house I was writing about was its size or furnishings. I think it was the woman of the house. Her critical, harsh and inconsistent spirit was what made the place troubling, I think. It was a dark house too - she kept the window sills covered with plants and curtains, as if she really didn't want to let the light in, either figuratively or literally. I know another house which has no "decor", the family just have tables, chairs etc, and the mother has no eye for beauty and it is always chaotic and often dirty actually, but I like visiting there because you can feel the love that comes from her, the acceptance of her children including their muddy footprints and broken toys they still love, and it truly is a lovely home.
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Becky Parker
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This reminds me of conversations I've had with my dh regarding his two grandmothers. The first one, they called "grandmother". She lived in a very fine home. Every dinner was a "fine china" affair and required a bath and nice clothing before he could come to the table. His memories of visits there are not happy ones. The only one he really talks about is when he got a spanking from this grandmother for jumping in a puddle.
Then there was Ma-Ma. She lived in an old farm house in West Virginia. They spent summers there, helping his grandpa work the fields. DH describes the house as being run down, but not dirty. He can talk for hours about the fun times they had there, the biscuits his Ma-Ma made on her wood stove, the loving person that she was, the feather bed he and his brother shared while staying there, etc.
I think it's true that the mother is the heart of a home.
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4Real Forums : Our Lady's Loom, Larder, and Laundry
Topic: Making a Family Home
