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aussieannie
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| Posted: June 22 2010 at 7:52pm | IP Logged
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Belle wrote:
| So it's more a lack of tact and diplomacy....well, we're all guilty of that from time to time. |
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Well I hope we are not guilty of that sort of behaviour quite to that same degree. We can all get passionate but we can use charitable language always ~ let's just think of the bible quote 1 Corinthians 13:1 ~ without LOVE it really is nothing ~ their words are nothing ~ and far more damage is done when that is how it is approached.
I found the initial lady who started the thread sadly lacking in the two great virtues of humility and charity.
I'd be VERY surprised if they have any lady who is not of their own denomination, want to really investigate their particular beliefs prompted from that thread. Whereas you have had ladies privately ask for information/books on the Catholic faith.
I think that they could do with a reflection of the humble words of our own seraphic father, St Francis of Assisi:
"Preach the Gospel at all times, and if necessary, sometimes use words.”
I must say that the moderators actions were good in the end, but I think that they should have responded with their mission statement quotes after the initial post and given the lady the opportunity either reword her questions or withdraw the post altogether so that it would reflect their guidelines. But I'm sure they are living and learning from these experiences...while I don't visit often, I know this site is such a blessing to many homeschoolers throughout Australia, God bless them for it.
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Spiritual Motherhood for Priests
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At_His_Feet
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| Posted: June 23 2010 at 1:39am | IP Logged
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While I know the thread was very hard on Linda, I for one was so greatful that she was able to make the replies she did. Not all of us are as eloquent as we would like to be.
Erin, I too didn't sleep very well when it was all going on, but I feel very confident that much good will come of it despite the pain.
It certainly makes me appreciate this wonderful site all the more.
Tricia.
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Tricia
Mum to 3 boys 17, 15, and 10.
Do whatever He tells you
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leanne maree
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| Posted: June 24 2010 at 7:54am | IP Logged
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It is so nice to see us aussie mummys on this thread together in unison.
Leanne
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God is Love
Leanne
Loving wife to Dermot and Adoring mother to Louise, Kristie, Kieran & Brid
http://leannemaree.blogspot.com/
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adnilpress
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| Posted: June 24 2010 at 10:19am | IP Logged
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Oh, dear! I am ---this--- close to closing my account on the other board - it's still going on - I take back what I said about the original poster, she's suddenly turned nasty towards me as well; I'm exhausted from it all - my hubby got involved, she slammed him; he got offended; one minute I'm sticking up for her, but now, boy, I'm so done with that.
I'm confused, angry, upset - I just don't know!  Everything has been taken out of context again - half of it is via private message, half on the board, half to me, half to my hubby, it's just turned into one giant, modern, mess.
I quit. I think I'll just stay over here! 
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Linda
Homeschooling over 13 years.
Wife to Bill, Mother of 8, aged 8 to 18.
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: June 24 2010 at 10:27am | IP Logged
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oh Linda.. how discouraging.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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guitarnan
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| Posted: June 24 2010 at 10:42am | IP Logged
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Linda, I'm sorry to hear this. I will pray that moderators step in quickly.
I would not be able to tolerate such a difficult atmosphere. Perhaps deleting all your PMs from the original poster (without reading them!) would help you step away from this for a while.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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JennGM
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| Posted: June 24 2010 at 10:55am | IP Logged
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adnilpress wrote:
Oh, dear! I am ---this--- close to closing my account on the other board - it's still going on - I take back what I said about the original poster, she's suddenly turned nasty towards me as well; I'm exhausted from it all - my hubby got involved, she slammed him; he got offended; one minute I'm sticking up for her, but now, boy, I'm so done with that.
I'm confused, angry, upset - I just don't know! Everything has been taken out of context again - half of it is via private message, half on the board, half to me, half to my hubby, it's just turned into one giant, modern, mess.
I quit. I think I'll just stay over here! |
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Here's my two cents.
I'd back away and restore your inner peace. This is the line you need to draw. It's good to evangelize and speak the truth, but when family is attacked and it's sucking the peace and time out of your life, this is another devil's trick. Priorities are family first. This would be more effective in person; the online communication's effectiveness is unraveling.
If you have stated the truth at the beginning, and now it's spiralling out of control, there probably is no rescuing it. I'd prepare a statement restating your position, regarding you needing to back away, will not be answering any PMs, post it, and delete the PMs without reading them. You need to restore your inner peace. Take it all to Jesus.
My dh gets really upset when Not in real life persons or events affect our family life. That's when he draws the line.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to  & ds1  '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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guitarnan
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| Posted: June 24 2010 at 11:12am | IP Logged
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Mine does, too, Jenn.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Mackfam
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Non Nobis
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| Posted: June 24 2010 at 11:22am | IP Logged
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JennGM wrote:
| I'd back away and restore your inner peace. |
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Agreeing. Guard your inner peace and joy!!! Online conversations can be especially disturbing to inner peace because they live in our heads and we tend to replay them. Give yourself permission to completely step away...and have peace. Entrust the situation and all involved to the Most Sacred Heart of Jesus, and go find your joys and reconnect with them! Start small by playing a card game with the kids, or having a short conversation with a friend about something light (and don't talk about the troubling situation). Just re-connect with real life and turn off the conversations in your head. GUARD your joy! GUARD your thoughts! and HAVE PEACE! I will offer a Memorare for this situation and all involved!
to you ladies! My Christ's peace that surpasses all understanding be yours!
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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Mackfam
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| Posted: June 24 2010 at 11:27am | IP Logged
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Because I'm terribly practical and like to focus on the positive when something starts disturbing my peace...and I long to do something for you ladies...this would be a perfect antidote!
Joy for the Asking, Joy for the Keeping by Rachel Watkins is a wonderful MP3 (so you don't have to worry about shipping to Australia) that really motivates and provides beautiful practicals for GUARDING JOY! So refreshing!
Go iron some clothes and listen!!!! You won't be disappointed! again!
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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Belle
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| Posted: June 24 2010 at 4:28pm | IP Logged
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Oh Linda, suddenly certain things become very clear.
Just try to ignore her. I found myself eye rolling the goodbye thread- it just seemed kind of childish and a little too high school for my liking. And I personally think your Dh behaved admirably. (Now that I think I know who he is- cute user name!)
I stopped the PM's from her dead in their tracks by being polite enough, but not encouraging much in the way of reply. (That is I answered her questions and nothing more.) You can co-exist with her, just don't play her game.
She likes to stir the pot, I think most people on the board are aware of that and the few ladies who jumped in on the original thread have been very quiet since. Don't let her run you off or make this about you. It is about her. You gave her the benefit of the doubt, you defended her. You're the better person here. She never had any intention of leaving the board. It was just a ploy to see how many toes she really had trodden on.
But honestly, in my short time here I have discovered here is much nicer. 
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aussieannie
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| Posted: June 24 2010 at 6:00pm | IP Logged
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Linda I am so very sad for you and dh, a big hug to you from a couple of thousand kms away!
I feel that whilst a lady like that does not belong on a forum, she truly lacks the basic necessities for gracious behaviour, I do feel that the moderators need to be aware of the fact that it was their duty to have dealt with that thread in a certain way from the very beginning. If it had been, it would not have come to mess and hurt that so many are experiencing now. So in that sense the moderators hold alot of responsibility for the outcome.
I'd be urging Catholic ladies to make that point strongly to the moderators for the health of the discussion board. The moderators are gracious ladies, I can see that but they are either naive or careless and I'm not sure why. They have more to contend with on a multi-faith board than a place like 4Real, so I'm just surprised that they are not well equipped with precise board protocol/guidelines for moderator action and plenty of experience to respond super fast, even in an area marked controversial ~ controversial never meant slander and ill will.
And I mean those last words, that lady said something to the effect of, "Well I'M just being honest, these are my honest thoughts and I'm doing you all a service to be true to that, it is others who are unreasonable to not accept such honesty when they see it." Think of one of the first basic principles we teach really little children, it is not always good to express that direct thought with no filter.."why does such and such have ...." right in front of their faces.
Her honest thoughts should never been expressed because they were an offence to online charity and good will. She lacks humility to see that it is her basic lack of good manners that are out of line, not the natural protests that followed.
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Under Her Starry Mantle
Spiritual Motherhood for Priests
Blessed with 3 boys & 3 girls!
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adnilpress
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| Posted: June 24 2010 at 8:51pm | IP Logged
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Thankyou, ladies. I agree. I've stepped away; I have sent a message to the moderators about it, and I'm not replying to her last pm; she's now accused me of setting the entire thing up from the beginning, that I deliberately had my dh sign up on the board and take part in the discussions, so I could appear as an innocent victim, and that she is in discussions with others about this via pm. Now it is slander and just plain nastiness.
The really, really sad thing is that the main moderator of that board is a dear friend of mine; she has spent hour after hour trying to create a wonderful Australian board, and it's so sad that one or two outspoken people can undo so much good.
Anyway, I'm good now. That last pm from her actually helped me to see things very clearly.
And Jen.. how do you know about my ironing pile? 
I think that's a wonderful idea. For schooling today, we're having a 'follow your interests' day - paint is flying, scissors, glue; lovely sounds are coming from the piano; I like days like this.
As for me, I am going to pull out my paints and canvas, and begin another landscape painting (the ironing can wait!), and then, I'm going to throw myself into my book - we're in the final editing stages now of my latest Australian History project, which is to be published by a US company as well; it is most exciting! Time to get back to it, and have it done.
Thanks so much, ladies, I'm sorry if I 'dumped' it on you, or said anything I shouldn't have here; living where I do, I have very little face-to-face contact with other homeschoolers, so I hope you don't mind me 'unloading' on occasion.
For the most part, I'm usually a very happy person!
God bless,
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Linda
Homeschooling over 13 years.
Wife to Bill, Mother of 8, aged 8 to 18.
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guitarnan
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| Posted: June 24 2010 at 9:23pm | IP Logged
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Linda, I'd love to learn more about your Australian history writing! My dh will be traveling to Australia some time in the next year or so and he always enjoys learning about the history of the places he visits. Please share, either here or in another thread!
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Erin
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| Posted: June 25 2010 at 8:15am | IP Logged
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Linda
I too would like to encourage you to start a thread explaining your Aussie history, I don't know if you know that's my passion too  A friend of mine bought your plans and I feel so ignorant not knowing what she is talking about Btw I've just finished sorting my adult faith collection and found some lovely Australian Catholic history books  Look forward to chatting when you have time, I'd so love to chat Aussie history.
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Erin
Faith Filled Days
Seven Little Australians
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adnilpress
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| Posted: June 26 2010 at 8:44am | IP Logged
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Thankyou, that would be wonderful - yes, we could have a wonderful discussion about Australian History! I'll leave it for a little while, as I'm finding I need to cut my computer time (ie message boards) for a bit. Sometimes, I find I need to walk away completely, then I can come back, calmed and refreshed.
Jen, I have just ordered the MP3 that you suggested; I think that is such a marvellous idea, and I look forward to it.
I hope to chat more next week, thankyou so much to you all for your comments and support.
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Linda
Homeschooling over 13 years.
Wife to Bill, Mother of 8, aged 8 to 18.
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leanne maree
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| Posted: June 30 2010 at 11:00pm | IP Logged
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I agree with you JennM about peace. IF I don't feel Gods' peace then it isn't from him.
but one thing I would like to say, is that there is peace on this board. understanding and love.Its a lovely place to be.
and Linda, An Aussie History thread would be good.
In peace,
Leanne
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Leanne
Loving wife to Dermot and Adoring mother to Louise, Kristie, Kieran & Brid
http://leannemaree.blogspot.com/
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Feeling a little battered....
