| Author | |
Mackfam
Board Moderator
Non Nobis
Joined: April 24 2006
Location: Alabama
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 14656
|
| Posted: Oct 11 2010 at 3:17pm | IP Logged
|
 |
|
Erin wrote:
| So I'm going to try consistency; clarifying, I put the timer on for 20 min, and then take him? Can he still run around playing normally etc I just fetch him back to the bathroom when timer goes? |
|
|
Exactly! The difficult thing is when they resist going when the timer goes off, and it might take a couple of trips to convince them you mean business - when the timer goes off...it's *****POTTY TIME*****!!!!!! My youngest became rather defiant when we had to go back to the timer to help her remember to go in the potty...so the whole crew got involved...when the timer would go off one of them would sing, **POTTY TIME**...and then immediately another would sing out, **POTTY TIME**, and then one more...and after three individual POTTY TIME announcements, they'd come together in harmony with a final **P-O-T-T-Y---T-I-M-E**. Everyone stayed right where they were, doing what they were doing, they'd just sing the novel POTTY TIME song. The little gal seemed to enjoy it, and it sort of turned potty time into happy time. Needless to say, there were times the **POTTY TIME** song was not convincing and she didn't want to interrupt playing with whatever to go. Too bad. When the timer goes off, we go. Period. I'm sort of a no-nonsense stickler on that one. 
__________________
Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19 , ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
MamaFence
Forum Pro
Joined: May 19 2010
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 139
|
| Posted: Oct 26 2010 at 12:13am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I know you ladies went through this over the summer, and I wish I could have done this then, too. But, we were moving across the country.
Sigh.
My DD is nearly 4.5 now, and we've been fighting the fight for almost a year and a half. Sadly, it's awful fighting some days, with her screaming and kicking and thrashing on the floor, refusing to even try pooping on the toilet. I'm exhausted from this.
Tomorrow we're going at it again, going to try a new chart/reward system, and have her clean up messes, and take baths with each accident. I know she's suffering still from encropresis, which we're actively treating with Miralax. However, my girl is so stubborn as to be able to withhold poops even with laxatives.  I need to increase it a bit, I think, as we start this new system just to ensure her pooping.
Please pray for me, for her, for our whole family. This is just such a drain and a burden. I can't wait to be free of this so I can get to know my daughter and not have to ask her 50 times a day to use the bathroom.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
mathmama
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 07 2006
Location: Pennsylvania
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 771
|
| Posted: Oct 26 2010 at 6:53am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Praying for you! My 3.5yo has zero interest in using the potty. I asked her the other day when she was going to start wearing undies and she responded "never"  I am holding out a little longer on the boot camp to see if she comes around on her own. I love her so much, but do not understand her at all  She is my child that keeps me on my toes for sure
__________________
Beth, wife to Tom and mommy to 4 beautiful girls:
Therese 11/04
Anna Mary 6/07
Veronica 10/09
Theodora 11/12
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
MamaFence
Forum Pro
Joined: May 19 2010
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 139
|
| Posted: Oct 27 2010 at 12:37am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Thank you, Beth! Today went well. Hopefully tomorrow will, as well.
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
mathmama
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 07 2006
Location: Pennsylvania
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 771
|
| Posted: Oct 27 2010 at 4:59pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
MamaFence wrote:
| Thank you, Beth! Today went well. Hopefully tomorrow will, as well. |
|
|
Great to hear!
I am looking for a clear week sometime in the near future in order to try a sort of bootcamp again. I have one question. Did anyone feel like it was cruel in some way to have their child clean up his/her mess? On the one hand, I totally get that she made the mess so she has to clean it up. My kids clean up their toys and messes all the time. But I am having a mental block in this situation. I am in no way a softie, I was not raised by a softie. I was taught to suck it up and deal with things. As a child I had to fight my own battles and deal with the consequences of my actions. So, something like this shouldn't be an issue to me, but for some reason I am hesitant to do this. Can anyone either validate my hesitation or explain to me why I am crazy to be hesitant to have my child clean up her own messes?
Thanks ladies 
Beth
__________________
Beth, wife to Tom and mommy to 4 beautiful girls:
Therese 11/04
Anna Mary 6/07
Veronica 10/09
Theodora 11/12
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
JodieLyn
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 06 2006
Location: Oregon
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 12234
|
| Posted: Oct 27 2010 at 5:14pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Beth, I think you need to be sure that the child in question does have control. It would be difficult for a child that is not ready to not only not be able to meet the expectation and then have to deal with the consequences of that as well with cleaning up.
But a child that is quite capable and is making a CHOICE to make a mess is quite a different matter.
I had one child who was capable of using the bathroom but not of handling the constant stress of NEEDING to use the bathroom. Put the child back in diapers for a few more months and the child was ready to handle it both physically and emotionally by just being that little bit older.
I think if you can seperate out the two..
making the mess purposely and so the natural consequence is cleaning it up yourself..
and
making the mess because they couldn't help it and didn't have control so giving them help is a good thing (we all can use help when we're out of our depth).
seperating them out that you may be able to conquer your hesitation.
__________________
Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
MamaFence
Forum Pro
Joined: May 19 2010
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 139
|
| Posted: Oct 27 2010 at 5:24pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Beth--what Jodie said makes sense.
Also, I wonder if it is part of our personal attitude towards it, and in response? Say, when we first started this battle (I do feel it's a battle, sigh, that we're fighting to get her body healthy and working right again)...I was always mad, frustrated, and practically shaming. I feel awful that I was so impatient and cross towards my sweet girl. Anyway, *then* I felt like I was using the consequence of clean-up as a punishment and to make her not want to do it anymore.
*Now* I view it less as a punishment, and more as "this is just what we do when we make a mess. We clean it up promptly, and learn self-sufficiency when cleaning." I react much less strongly now, with little frustration outwardly and no anger.
This morning was perfect. This afternoon--well, she's already washed her undies out in the sink and taken a bath. Sigh. One of these days...
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
WithAllMyHeart
Forum Rookie
Joined: June 08 2012
Location: Georgia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 85
|
| Posted: June 18 2012 at 12:48pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I just wanted to give all of you who posted advice to this thread a BIG HUG!
My 3yo ds has been refusing to poop on the potty for months, and we have tried EVERYTHING (encouraging, explaining, bribing, yelling, shaming, time-outs, the timer, reading books, etc.)...
...EXCEPT havng him clean up the mess. Not in a mean way. Just in a matter-of-fact way, like you all suggested. I showed him the process once this last Saturday, and all his poop has gone in the potty since! He actually laughed and loved the cold shower, so it wasn't that he felt punished. I think he just finally figured out that it would be quicker and easier to go to the potty than to poop in his pants and then have to clean up. Go figure!
This is a major breakthrough for him, and I don't know how we ever would have figured it out without the advice I found here. I LOVE you all!
I just hope one day I can return the favor somehow...
__________________
-Jennifer
SAHM to a 3 yr old boy and a 1 yr old girl (hoping for more).
Looking for friends who live nearby!
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SuzanneG
Forum Moderator
Joined: June 17 2006
Location: Idaho
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5465
|
| Posted: May 18 2013 at 1:10pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Anyone else getting PTLD (Potty Training Lock Down) on their calendar now that it's warming up????
    
WE ARE!!!!! 
First week in June. June 3 is the magic beginning. Michael is two-and-a-half and it's TIME!
:: Calendar is completely cleared.
:: Husband is in town to do any big-kid-driving (or man the timer and toilet at home)
:: Big-boy-underwear is purchased and being tried on these days
:: Potty chair is visible with lots of talking about it.
:: Timers are all located
:: Drop cloths located and purchased, since we have a HUGE rug and carpet-in-bedrooms in this house that we can't just roll up.
:: Signs made for carpeted rooms that say CLOSE THE DOOR PLEASE---MICHAEL CAN'T COME IN HERE!
:: There is easy food in the freezer (which is not such a big deal this time around, since my big girls can cook and clean-up-kitchen, but we did it anyway)
:: I still need to round up various pairs of tight leggings/pants and make sure the crocs (pee-catchers) are wearable in the house.
:: The Peanut M&Ms and Marshmallows still need to be purchased. Along with WINE for Mama! And, this time, I'm going to get some fun treats for the girls to look forward to at the end of the day.
Well, that's where we are! SO MUCH FUN!  Totally kidding. Well, actually the PREP is fun. The ACTUAL WEEK is a total buckle-up-buttercup-opportunity for me,  but totally worth it!
Is anyone else joining in the fun?
__________________
Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
3ringcircus
Forum Pro
Joined: Dec 15 2011
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 420
|
| Posted: May 18 2013 at 5:01pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I'm considering it. Just saw this thread for the first time. I have a new 3yo and he's the first of my 3 DSs who hasn't even gone on the potty once by this age. He has no interest whatsoever. I better research the technique...
__________________
Christine
Mom to my circus of boys: G-1/06, D-1/04, S-4/10
Started HS in Fall'12
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
knowloveserve
Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 31 2007
Location: Washington
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 759
|
| Posted: May 21 2013 at 11:14am | IP Logged
|
|
|
What a great thread!
I am going to do PTLD with my nearly 4 year old girl sometime in June.
My older 3 boys were all trained before age 3, so this has been tedious and frustrating with her...
There's a small part of me that wants to wait until July so my baby will be 22 months by then. He's already shown interest in the potty... I'm not sure if a single month will make a difference with his readiness, but I'm super attracted to the idea of nailing 2 birds with one stone... especially since we are expecting another baby next Jan and it would be dreamy to not deal with diapers for a while!!
__________________
Ellie
The Bleeding Pelican
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
CrunchyMom
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 03 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 6385
|
| Posted: May 21 2013 at 11:57am | IP Logged
|
|
|
knowloveserve wrote:
| There's a small part of me that wants to wait until July so my baby will be 22 months by then. He's already shown interest in the potty... I'm not sure if a single month will make a difference with his readiness, but I'm super attracted to the idea of nailing 2 birds with one stone... especially since we are expecting another baby next Jan and it would be dreamy to not deal with diapers for a while!! |
|
|
I did this with my 21 month old 2.5 years ago, and he now has FAR less potty "issues" than his older brothers. Coincidence? Maybe. We even had to revert to diapers when we moved, but he already know "how" and transitioning back was super easy. At that age, even trained, they are really just trained to say, "Mommy, Potty!" and not to take themselves, but STILL!
I attempted the potty lockdown a few weeks ago with my current 26 month old. His temperament is very different from his brother, and I am very pregnant right now, so it was just too much. But, with the baby coming in July, I do think I will be kicking myself down the road that I didn't just knuckle down and do it
__________________
Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SuzanneG
Forum Moderator
Joined: June 17 2006
Location: Idaho
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5465
|
| Posted: June 03 2013 at 5:24pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Well, here we are....DAY 1. The house is a mess, we're all ready for bed and it's only 3:30.
BUT.....he's doing great! FIVE times in the potty chair and only about a handful of accidents. This puts us about 2 days AHEAD of most of my girls! We're totally psyched!
My girls are trying to decide if we're going to Dairy Queen or Olive Garden sometime this weekend. I love how easily motivated they are. If I were them, I'd be asking for a vacation to Bermuda
__________________
Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
StephanieA
Forum Pro
Joined: May 11 2006
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 394
|
| Posted: June 03 2013 at 7:43pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I just read some of this thread, and I wanted to offer both sympathy and some personal thoughts. I have potty trained 9 children...all different and all pretty late (after 3 years old...a couple after 4 years old). But my second was not ready at 3 years. Unbeknown to me, he began holding his poop in. I wasn't paying that much attention exactly when he pooped, just that he wasn't have any accidents.
Well, several years passed and he began soiling his pants...seriously and on a regular basis. He was chronically constipated - and yet he had always been getting plenty of fiber. By the time he was 7, the doctor had him x-rayed and we discovered that he had elongated his colon terribly. To make a long story short, he then spent time with a psychologist where we found out he was a controlled child and very intelligent. We somewhat knew this already. It took YEARS to get his colon back to normal. This taught me that kids don't try to "try us". They have needs and problems of their own. They are not trying to make problems for us even though it may seem like that to us at the time. I never did overly encourage a kid to potty after that. The doctor and psychologist both told me that this was not uncommon. Some kids want more control over their lives, more than they are normally allowed to have at this age. This child is now in engineering grad school and potties just fine 
So, please take this potty issue lightly. It is not that time consuming or much trouble overall. My 3.5 year old misses pooping in the big potty about 1/2 the time. I am so use to not getting frustrated when I clean her. I am serving her, and by this, serving the Lord.
On, but a little off topic....I would never have a kid clean himself at this age. We are partially caring for my very elderly, sick mother-in-law and recently she had a terrible bout of diarrhea. I spent hours cleaning her up during the evening. Maybe my kids will do the same for me with the same cheerful attitude in 40 years.
Blessings,
Stephanie
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
SuzanneG
Forum Moderator
Joined: June 17 2006
Location: Idaho
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5465
|
| Posted: June 08 2013 at 11:46am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Whew! Pretty much 90% done! Rugs are back in place this morning, and we are getting back to a bit of NORMAL!
__________________
Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Pilgrim
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 28 2007
Location: Wisconsin
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1286
|
| Posted: June 08 2013 at 12:51pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Yeah!!!!!! 
__________________
Wife 2 my bf, g14,b8,g&b6,g4,g3,g1 1/2,4 ^i^
St. Clare Heirloom Seeds coupon 4Real 20% off
St. Clare Audio
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: potty training a child who doesn't care
