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amyable
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| Posted: July 19 2010 at 9:07am | IP Logged
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SuzanneG wrote:
:: 1st day - about 10 pair of leggings wet. Nothing in the potty chair. A typical, disastrous, first day!
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This is giving me hope.
We started potty training lockdown today. 0 for 4 so far. I need a cheerleader! 
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Amy
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: July 19 2010 at 9:12am | IP Logged
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Closest I could get to cheering.
You can do it, Amy!!! I really had despaired, even at the end of the first week, but it came out alright!
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Lindsay
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SuzanneG
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| Posted: July 19 2010 at 9:27am | IP Logged
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amyable wrote:
SuzanneG wrote:
:: 1st day - about 10 pair of leggings wet. Nothing in the potty chair. A typical, disastrous, first day!
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This is giving me hope.
We started potty training lockdown today. 0 for 4 so far. I need a cheerleader! |
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This is TOTALLY NORMAL, Amy!!!!! They are LEARNING what it feels like, what to do, how to hold it....etc. Just keep going.....keep cleaning up and smiling!
And, do NOT forget the Chocolate and Wine at the end of the day! Do you have that all lined up????
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Suzanne in ID
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amyable
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| Posted: July 19 2010 at 9:56am | IP Logged
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Thanks! I totally need the applause, lol. As soon as I posted this, I went about helping with lunch. Little Mister says "I peeped." "OK fine, go take off your underwear in the bathroom," I say. Well, he proceeds to take them off *right there* and he DIDN'T pee, it was poo and when he took off his coveted Thomas the Train underwear it toppled out and *stuck to the WALL*    And then cleaning him with the shower head didn't even WORK.
Happy to be taking years off my purgatory time.
OK, hopefully that will be the last time THAT happens today! Thanks for listening!
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Pilgrim
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| Posted: July 26 2010 at 3:30pm | IP Logged
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My question is : Is there anything different in getting them around to having a BM in the toilet? Ds is doing great now with peeing in the pot, but he waits either purposefully or by coincidence until he has a diaper on for nap or bedtime to have a BM. Any ideas on what to do, or will this just come along here pretty soon on it's own?
Dd just waited until she was older to "train" and it just all came a the same time more easily. Ds son actually loves potty training, I think it's just always harder to get to the stage of BMs on the potty than peeing.
Any thoughts/ideas are much appreciated! We're almost there! He hasn't been having any more accidents during the daytime, only the minor messes that have to do with learning about aim! 
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: July 26 2010 at 3:41pm | IP Logged
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I'm not sure, Pilgrim, but I am LOLing imagining potty training as some sort of communist/socialist experiment (Comrade).
I do need to have a day long refresher, I think, since some laziness all around has resulted in some regression. I think, in the beginning, poops were mostly about catching them in the act and quickly swooping in.
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Lindsay
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JennGM
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| Posted: July 26 2010 at 4:19pm | IP Logged
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I'm so gun shy. Was contemplating doing the jump into potty training number 2 son. And it was the BM fear that causes my great hesitation and fear. It is different than the other, at least for my first. Ugh.
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SuzanneG
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| Posted: July 26 2010 at 5:28pm | IP Logged
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Yes, in most cases, poop takes longer b/c they pee 10-20 times more than they poop. So, I figure it's normal for it to take 10-20 times longer.
For 2 of my girls they were poop-trained on the same timeline as the pee.
For the others....there was a 2-day, 7-day and a 12-day delay.
Yep...they will poop their underwear. And, after the first clean-up, where I show them how a poop-clean-up happens, I just sit in the bathroom with them, while they are in the bathtub, calmly waiting for them to take their pants off. And, then a cold shower.
And, if you don't do cloth diapers.....set up a "system" ahead of time.....I never thought of this, but if you aren't already set up to "recieve poopy material/clothing" like you are when you cloth-diaper, it could get sort of overwhelming or a logistical nightmare.
1. A container with plastic garbage bag. Covered.
2. Get the toilet ready to "swish" the underwear/pants/shorts.
3. Rinse and wash these clothes separately every couple of days.
***having everyone in the house rally to take them in the bathroom with them when they, themselves have to go.
***Once you figure out when they're going, for the most part....put them on the potty-chair, with a video and snack, so they sit for 30-40 minutes....maybe they'll just do it.
***Half the battle is getting them to go THE VERY FIRST TIME. You are just HOPING and PRAYING for the FIRST TIME....after that....it's GRAVY!
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SuzanneG
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| Posted: July 26 2010 at 5:29pm | IP Logged
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Pilgrim wrote:
| Ds is doing great now with peeing in the pot, but he waits either purposefully or by coincidence until he has a diaper on for nap or bedtime to have a BM. |
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And, yes....this is very normal!!!! Aren't they smart little things?????? 
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Suzanne in ID
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Pilgrim
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| Posted: Aug 06 2010 at 11:14am | IP Logged
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Nathaniel-Boy is officially potty trained!   
He actually has been for a bit here, but I keep forgetting to post, it's been busy here! Potty training would definitely make a good punishment for someone, I think  , but we made it through and he's doing great, almost too great as he'll happily sit on the toilet for half an hour singing songs and looking at his Book of Saints, and holding up the line of people who need to use the bathroom!
He figured out pretty quickly that if he asked to go potty after he was in bed that he got to stay up a little longer, but Dad caught on to that and we are careful to keep track of whether his requests are motive to get out of bed. And dh makes sure he goes potty enough right before bed.
Thank you for all the support and encouragement we are glad we bit the bullet and jumped on the Potty Train. Although, really it's easier when they are in diapers because they just do their thing, requiring no supervision, and then you change them at your conveniece!
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amyable
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| Posted: Aug 06 2010 at 12:40pm | IP Logged
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Awesome! Congratulations!!
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SuzanneG
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| Posted: Aug 06 2010 at 12:52pm | IP Logged
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Yea!!!!!
Pilgrim wrote:
| Although, really it's easier when they are in diapers because they just do their thing, requiring no supervision, and then you change them at your conveniece! |
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You'll be surprised how quickly they ease into becoming more independent, though. Right now, it does seem like a lot of work helping them, but it won't always be like that.
And, don't forget to employ your olders to help. Be specific about what to do and how to do it.....ie: hold them like this, be sure to xyz when you help them wash their hands, wipe like this, etc. And, even pay-them-for-it or reward them for goodness sake! It goes beyond regular-sibling-duty, and if they are going to be cheerfully helping, even if they don't like it, it's worth a thank-you in some way!
We've set a date the first week in Sept....if everyone continually helps our new-potty-girl without complaining and JUMPS when I ask....we're treating them to a Thai-food-restaurant-dinner to celebrate!!!!!! Which they LOVE! And, all I have to say when they start to balk is "Phad Thai?" and THEY'RE OFF to hold and wipe!
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SuzanneG
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| Posted: Aug 06 2010 at 1:00pm | IP Logged
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Pilgrim posted an update in a new thread, and I moved it over here.....just wanted all the potty-thread-people to be updated so I'm posting it here....
Pilgrim wrote:
Nathaniel-Boy is officially potty trained!
He actually has been for a bit here, but I keep forgetting to post, it's been busy here! Potty training would definitely make a good punishment for someone, I think , but we made it through and he's doing great, almost too great as he'll happily sit on the toilet for half an hour singing songs and looking at his Book of Saints, and holding up the line of people who need to use the bathroom!
He figured out pretty quickly that if he asked to go potty after he was in bed that he got to stay up a little longer, but Dad caught on to that and we are careful to keep track of whether his requests are motive to get out of bed. And dh makes sure he goes potty enough right before bed.
Thank you for all the support and encouragement we are glad we bit the bullet and jumped on the Potty Train. Although, really it's easier when they are in diapers because they just do their thing, requiring no supervision, and then you change them at your conveniece! |
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Suzanne in ID
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mathmama
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| Posted: Oct 11 2010 at 1:32pm | IP Logged
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I have just read through this entire thread. My nearly 3.5yo dd doesn't care one bit about using the potty. We have tried several times to no avail. She did end up peeing in the potty regularly with no accidents but kept pooping in her undies even though we would put her on the potty at the times when she would usually go. Eventually, she just stopped going and became constipated and we went back to diapers so she would relax and at least start going again.
Now I am crying because it seems like dh and I spend our days spraying poopy diapers and cleaning poop off of wool soakers. Her prefolds don't really fit her anymore and I am waiting for a larger size to come through a coop. My time is literally going down the drain. I estimate that dh and I spend at least an hour a day cleaning up her poopy mess (that is each of us, so really 2 hours). I am beyond discouraged We have now regressed to the point of her not telling the truth when we ask if her diaper is dirty
What do you do with a child that just refuses to go and becomes constipated? I am really at the end of my rope.
Thanks for reading.
Beth
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| Posted: Oct 11 2010 at 1:48pm | IP Logged
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Beth~
Are you in a position to do potty-lockdown? This is a completely reasonable option for your situation if you are able to commit to it.
***Are you looking for ways to implement potty-lockdown in your particular situation?
***Or....are you looking for other ideas entirely?
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mathmama
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| Posted: Oct 11 2010 at 1:51pm | IP Logged
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I can do potty lockdown, that is fine. My worry is about her holding her bms and becoming constipated like happened previously. How does one prevent that?
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: Oct 11 2010 at 2:04pm | IP Logged
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I don't mean to be a downer, REALLY, and I might still TRY the potty lockdown.
BUT...
It did NOTHING for my 3.5 year old who sounds EXACTLY the same and is now 4 years old with little progress.
It is one of the hardest things, really. He now lies so that I absolutely cannot trust him to tell me the truth about being poopy, etc...
Just empathizing. I'm not trying to discourage you from trying the potty lockdown. It just really didn't help us with this particular issue. If someone else has had success with it helping it this situation, I'd love to hear it!
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Lindsay
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mathmama
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So Lindsay, is he in diapers or undies?
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Okay, reading here for inspiration because I am soo sick of cleaning up ds2 messes. Due to wooden floors and living in the country he has long run around in undies. He will tell me he is about to do either motion, happily strip off his own pants, 'tries' even to clean his messes, I've often taken him, but nothing, actually I have a suspicion if I found the inner toilet seat he would be happier than using the potty.
So I'm going to try consistency; clarifying, I put the timer on for 20 min, and then take him? Can he still run around playing normally etc I just fetch him back to the bathroom when timer goes?
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mathmama wrote:
| I can do potty lockdown, that is fine. My worry is about her holding her bms and becoming constipated like happened previously. How does one prevent that? |
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One of my daughters did this...patently refused to go poopy on the potty and she ended up in a painful situation in which she became very constipated! I'm going to brainstorm and list what we did:
** Potty Lockdown - as described in detail on this thread. You'll probably have to use a timer for a long time. In fact, my youngest regressed a bit and we spent 3 weeks back on the timer to help out...this was almost 3 months after being fully potty trained! She's doing great again! Just don't be discouraged if you have to use a timer for a long time...or even if you think you're done with the timer and you have to pull it out again. It's a GOOD TOOL!!!!! AND...this is a biggie for a child that will avoid a BM on the potty...don't go too long in between trips!!! 20 minutes max would be my starting point!!! And, if you get into the process of potty training, and she regresses, roll back the timer and keep at it! It's a TOOL though, not a punishment!!
** HIGH FIBER DIET! In fact, an almost all-fiber diet especially for those children that have a natural tendency toward constipation! There is no opportunity for one to be constipated if one is eating fruits, veggies and 100% whole grains - the plain fact is, they just can't hold it. Constipation is so uncomfortable, and then they become afraid of trying to go on the potty. And DON'T FORGET LOTS OF WATER!!!
** Talk up the poopy on the potty - make sure she knows going in...this is it...bye, bye diapers! Here come the pretty new panties! If you haven't gotten some pretty new beloved panties - DO THAT!!! They don't like it when the favorite Pooh bear undie has poopy all over and can't be worn!
** It's normal for them to get the pee side of things before they're willing to commit to pooping on the potty. That takes a bit different kind of awareness, and there are other factors and different muscles at play for controlling things there. ALL of mine have had the pee thing down well before the pooping...and you just have to keep on helping them understand those cues in the body. I have no idea if this is anecdotal or true...but my boys had the poop thing down so easily...both my girls had more trouble with it. Regardless, it's clear that individual children DO figure it out.
** There will be accidents. And they won't be pretty. Some of them will be as awful as the poopy clean-ups you're working through right now in diapers...some will be worse. THAT'S TOTALLY OK - Normal, really! The big thing is --> remain calm, matter of fact, neutral..."You pooped in your new panties - time to clean up." She helps clean up - little people can dump, swish, and place dirty panties/undies in appointed bucket. Poopy accidents and outside play time go hand in hand!! During potty lockdown and for some time afterward - WATCH THEM LIKE A HAWK WHEN THEY'RE PLAYING OUTSIDE!!!
** Don't ask them if they're dirty - it's a safe bet they will NOT tell the truth if you ask them. This was a difficult lesson for me to learn because it just seems to come rolling out of my mouth..."Did you just poopy in your pants????" Catch yourself asking the question and get in the habit of making statements. Simply say, "I'm going to check you to see if you're dirty (CHECK)...you are...that poopy belongs in the potty. Since you didn't make the poopy in the potty, you can help clean it out of your panties and we'll put on fresh panties and try again on the potty in a minute."
** Set up your clean-up zones! This is far easier if you keep wipes, old towel (for laying down on and wiping rears, etc.), 3-4 pairs of fresh panties, and any other clean-up supplies in a bin right in the bathroom used most frequently. Go ahead and set up your laundry room, too.
I'm probably getting redundant at this point if you've read the thread! The big thing is to be clear about what you're doing with your daughter - diaper days are over, lock down for the potty time, start her on a high fiber diet the day before, and just expect some mess. Keep a balanced, high fiber diet going in for some time as she develops an awareness of her movements and the need to go. Raisins are your friend and so is the timer! Don't ask questions! It was a HUGE help for me to have something small to look forward to at the end of the day because remaining neutral and matter of fact in the face of poopy mess is NOT EASY!!!! I rewarded myself with a small glass of wine in the evening, but it could be as simple as a favorite chocolate, cup of tea, movie with hubby...just something to look forward to that has nothing to do with poopy!!!
 You can do this, Beth!!!
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: potty training a child who doesn't care
