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Angel
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| Posted: June 07 2010 at 4:02pm | IP Logged
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SuzanneG wrote:
Angel wrote:
| So... How does one potty train a child who does not care? |
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And, I really do think that no child actually CARES about potty training!  Just like they don't care about sharing with others, learning manners at the table, or picking up their toys! That's why they are called children!
It's probably a very unusual child who says, "Oh, Mommy! Pulllleez can I learn how to go potty in the toilet like everyone else?"  |
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Well, maybe I should have clarified. There *are* kids who want to learn to go because they have siblings who do so, or friends. There are many more kids who care because not going feels yucky. There are also kids who care about the bribes.
My kid does not really seem to care about any of that. Neither candy bar nor ickiness seems to outweigh the trouble it takes to stop playing and head to the bathroom. That's what I meant by "not caring" -- just to clarify. I comfort myself with the idea that when he grows up, this child is probably going to be the kind of person who will not easily give in to peer pressure. 
All my kids (so far) have potty-trained on the late side, but none quite this late. Part of the lateness has had to do with the fact that at 2.5 or 3, I could not trust them in the bathroom. (I believe that was the age where they attempted to flush all my makeup down the toilet.) When they were 2.5, I also had a 6 month old baby. There is the "twin" issue here, too. This is another of those times with twins when you wish you could bilocate.
Not that any of this is here or there, of course... but usually when they're older it takes about a week and I don't even have to spend my entire week in the bathroom either. They usually night train at about the same time on their own. (In fact, I think the twins do better at night than during the day right now.) I guess it's just the lazy mother's way out, but, um, usually at about the time many people are toilet training their 2 year olds I am having another baby.
Anyway. I feel a little strange talking "potty training theory".
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Angela
Mom to 9, 7 boys and 2 girls
Three Plus Two
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hylabrook1
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| Posted: June 07 2010 at 5:39pm | IP Logged
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Angela - I also had a child tell me she didn't want to go potty today because, "I did that yesterday." I guess using the potty is kind of a bore....
I am praying for you, that things calm down from the stomach virus, the new baby, the grandmother visit, and your little one just decides it's time to move on from the diapers and/or messes. It can be really discouraging, but then it does happen, for every child.
Peace,
Nancy
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: June 08 2010 at 1:47am | IP Logged
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Sometimes you just have to look outside the box for the right "reward".
I had one child that I finally would not take to the bathroom in stores or such when we weren't at home.. nope sorry.. if you don't use the potty at home, you can't use it when we're gone either.
Sounds backwards.. but it worked.. she LOVED getting to use the bathrooms when not at home.
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: June 14 2010 at 8:39am | IP Logged
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So, Suzanne, Jen, you are going to call me today, right? 
We started potty boot camp today, and I decided to go ahead and do the baby (21 months), too, since I figured I may as well, and if it doesn't work, oh well, but if it does, great! I've killed two bird with one stone. He's pretty compliant as the twos haven't set in full force, yet, AND he has lots of words and clearly asks for things (like a drink when he's thirsty), so I think he would be capable of asking to go to the potty should he "get" it, so I'm hoping this works!
This is the first week we haven't had any activities planned outside the house, so, I figure I will go ahead and give it a shot. Hopefully by Wednesday afternoon, we will be down to thirty minute intervals so I can just take them in between piano lessons.
So far, so good this morning, but it is already tedious. You couldn't pay me to do this!!! Which, I guess its a good thing I do it for free
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Lindsay
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[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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CrunchyMom
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Oh, I thought I would add, the just-turned-four-year-old (who had TWO accidents at a friend's house on Sunday and we had to leave for it) is actually taking it all calmly so far. I think it helps that he doesn't feel singled out and can say, "Come on, its potty time." Plus, I have the potty chair out for the baby and the seat insert for the four year old, so they can go together.
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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SuzanneG
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| Posted: June 14 2010 at 8:50am | IP Logged
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CrunchyMom wrote:
| So, Suzanne, Jen, you are going to call me today, right? |
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I'm here!!!!!! And, I'll call! Jen may need a call too, b/c I think she's starting today too!!!!
Crunchymom wrote:
| We started potty boot camp today, and I decided to go ahead and do the baby (21 months), too, ........He's pretty compliant as the twos haven't set in full force, yet, AND he has lots of words and clearly asks for things (like a drink when he's thirsty), so I think he would be capable of asking to go to the potty should he "get" it, so I'm hoping this works! |
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PERFECT! Oh my gosh.....can you IMAGINE THE JOY????? 2 trained at the same time! We'll have to have an on-line marguerita party when it's all said and done!
CrunchyMom wrote:
| So far, so good this morning, but it is already tedious. You couldn't pay me to do this!!! Which, I guess its a good thing I do it for free |
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True! True!
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Suzanne in ID
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Mackfam
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| Posted: June 14 2010 at 8:53am | IP Logged
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I have my oldest dd watching my little pink-panty-swaddled trainee so I can type a minute....
CrunchyMom wrote:
| So, Suzanne, Jen, you are going to call me today, right? |
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YEP!!!
CrunchyMom wrote:
| We started potty boot camp today |
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 Woo-hoo!!!!!! The more the merrier on board the potty train!
I'm in lockdown, too! Katie's happily sporting her new big girl panties and I have SUPER clean bathrooms! I have a bottle of wine chilling for tonight, and my Agnus Dei CD playing for mood music! We're set!!!
My oldest dd totally freshened up my little laundry room for me in anticipation of a few ickies today...so it smells delightfully Mrs. Meyers-honeysuckle-fresh...right now, anyway!
CrunchyMom wrote:
| So far, so good this morning, but it is already tedious. You couldn't pay me to do this!!! Which, I guess its a good thing I do it for free |
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Yeah. Me either! This is NOT my favorite habit training...but...we're rolling nevertheless! Best of luck to all on board the potty train! 
Now...back to paying attention!
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Jen Mackintosh
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SuzanneG
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| Posted: June 14 2010 at 9:13am | IP Logged
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And, I forgot to mention this: PUSH THE FLUIDS the first 2 days. You want them to void a lot the first couple of days, so they'll learn faster. You WANT a lot of peeing whether it's in the potty or on the floor!
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Suzanne in ID
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Mackfam
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| Posted: June 14 2010 at 9:44am | IP Logged
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SuzanneG wrote:
| And, I forgot to mention this: PUSH THE FLUIDS the first 2 days. You want them to void a lot the first couple of days, so they'll learn faster. You WANT a lot of peeing whether it's in the potty or on the floor! |
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....AND...the high fiber foods!!! You don't want a constipated little one either! Lots of whole grains and applesauce...but here's where a balance is needed!!! You also don't want to be dealing with diarrhea! 
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Jen Mackintosh
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Wildflowers and Marbles
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Pilgrim
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| Posted: June 21 2010 at 9:03pm | IP Logged
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Paula, our oldest has times where she ends up wetting her pants a little off and on for a few weeks or month, then goes back to being fine. Sometimes this can be a sign of bladder infection, sometimes not. I have tried to see weather it is a particularly stressful time or not. There have been some many changes in life in the last few years, and she also has hereditary factors of bedwetting and ocassional day wetting with one uncle when he was younger to add to it.
BTW she also wets at night, I'm still trying to get around to trying some of the suggestions posted in the thread about bedwtting!  Oh, life is so busy!
Maybe the bladder strengthening exercises suggested in your thread would help?
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CrunchyMom
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| Posted: July 03 2010 at 11:16am | IP Logged
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So, after reading a lot and pondering the experiences of Suzanne and Jenn, we had potty bootcamp. I decided I may as well do the 22 month old if I was going to do it, especially since I had such a hard time with the older two and some of the advice i came across was that younger than two is easier than two-three because they aren't as willful yet.
I am sad to tell you, Angel, that it didn't do much for my four year old. Sigh.
BUT the 22 month old is officially potty trained! It took a bit longer than I had imagined it would. Some of the timelines saying that on day threeish they would do x didn't really start happening until the middle of the second week! This was probably because he was on the young side AND a boy.
I do have to TAKE him to the potty. But, he yells out Potty whenever he needs to go, and I just have to swoop in. He's even dry in the mornings now. I kept him in underwear for a few weeks at home and didn't go out much, even trading off mass that first Sunday. Now, though, he can wear a diaper and will just keep it dry all day, which is great when we are going out a lot and I just can't bear the idea of a potty accident in the art museum or on the interstate.
Maybe I'm even inspired enough to try ECing with the next one like I've been considering for the past two kids
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Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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SuzanneG
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| Posted: July 03 2010 at 12:43pm | IP Logged
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CrunchyMom wrote:
| BUT the 22 month old is officially potty trained! |
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Whoo-hoo!!!!!!! That's GREAT, Lindsay! WHERE IS THE DANCING BANANA?????!!!!!!!! Since we don't have one, I'm throwing confetti all over the place for you!
We start on Monday!!!!! I'm trying to be excited about it, but I'm actually not 100% out of my morning sickness like I thought I'd be. And, of course, just in time for our warmer weather to FINALLY appear  (by "warmer" I mean above 70  )....but oh well....it's on the calendar and I'm NOT BUDGING no matter HOW badly we want to head to the beach!
And....do any of you realize what MONDAY is????? I didn't!!!!! Monday is the day after the 4th....so IT IS A HOLIDAY FOR MY HUSBAND!!!!!! I had no idea, of course.....although he is accusing me of knowing! Isn't he LUCKY? He gets to partake in potty-lockdown!!!! His DREAM, I'm sure! (he'd probably rather have acute mountain sickness on Mt. McKinley! )
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Suzanne in ID
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Mackfam
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| Posted: July 03 2010 at 1:35pm | IP Logged
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SuzanneG wrote:
CrunchyMom wrote:
| BUT the 22 month old is officially potty trained! |
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Whoo-hoo!!!!!!! That's GREAT, Lindsay! WHERE IS THE DANCING BANANA?????!!!!!!!! Since we don't have one, I'm throwing confetti all over the place for you! |
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Me too!!!!!!!!
>> Confetti << >> Confetti << >> Confetti << >> Confetti << >> Confetti <<
Hey, we did great, too!!!! Other than one rather untimely event Katie did great and we're off the potty train lockdown here! 
SuzanneG wrote:
We start on Monday!!!!! I'm trying to be excited about it, but I'm actually not 100% out of my morning sickness like I thought I'd be. And, of course, just in time for our warmer weather to FINALLY appear (by "warmer" I mean above 70 )....but oh well....it's on the calendar and I'm NOT BUDGING no matter HOW badly we want to head to the beach!
And....do any of you realize what MONDAY is????? I didn't!!!!! Monday is the day after the 4th....so IT IS A HOLIDAY FOR MY HUSBAND!!!!!! I had no idea, of course.....although he is accusing me of knowing! Isn't he LUCKY? He gets to partake in potty-lockdown!!!! His DREAM, I'm sure! (he'd probably rather have acute mountain sickness on Mt. McKinley! ) |
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I'm just over-the-top-happy for Pete!!!!! Tell Mr. Gallus that Rob heartily recommends a flight to California in the middle-o-potty lockdown...but he better bring back a big ole bottle of the best white wine he can find for his wife if he does!!!!
I'm sitting here ready to cheer you through the potty lockdown...and have a fistful of confetti ready to toss in your direction!!!!!
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Jen Mackintosh
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Wildflowers and Marbles
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Angel
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| Posted: July 03 2010 at 2:53pm | IP Logged
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Well, a report here: my guys did finally get it, but I have no idea why they turned around. The twin who didn't care the most was actually the kid who demanded underwear through a stomach virus AND made it to the potty every time. So go figure.
We didn't do the lockdown, really, because I couldn't. But I did start handing him a towel and wipes to clean up any messes he left on the floor. That seemed helpful.
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Angela
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Three Plus Two
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hylabrook1
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So, Angela, sounds like the stomach virus worked in your favor by giving your little one lots of practice! I've never been able to figure out what makes the whole thing turn the corner, but it does seem to fall into place when somehow the time is right for that child.
YAY for your kiddies, Lindsay and Jen! And, Suzanne, I'm cheering you on, too!
Peace,
Nancy
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Pilgrim
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| Posted: July 05 2010 at 2:28pm | IP Logged
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We are hopping on the Potty Train! Dh has been working at home on our business, so we can tag-team it, which will be great when things are hectic or I have to rn out on a quick errand. Nate-boy is officially starting all underwear tomorrow, but he is trying the potty today, and he's actually excited about it! It helps that he's the kind who wants to be like Dad in everything. Cheering you on Suzanne, as we ride the Potty Train together! Thank you all for this thread, it has inspired us to try this sooner than planned, which I think will be a really good thing so he will be well past this when New Baby comes along.
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Mackfam
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| Posted: July 10 2010 at 10:54am | IP Logged
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Pilgrim wrote:
| We are hopping on the Potty Train! |
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How are you doing on the potty train, Pilgrim????
I've been thinking of you and Suzanne this week! Cheering you on from afar!!!!!
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Jen Mackintosh
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Pilgrim
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| Posted: July 10 2010 at 4:44pm | IP Logged
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Well, due to circumstances of home and business needs that came up this week, we haven't been able to stick it out long enough for it to be successful. Although we think this worked out for the best because Mr. Nate doesn't quite seem to get the *whole* potty thing yet. He's very excited about the idea, but still isn't quite understanding the urge to go, and to keep the stress level managaqble for all, we thought we'd try again in a month. He did have a couple of successes which we will be able to build upon when he seems more ready! 
Thanks for asking, it's always nice to know there's friends here cheering us on!
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SuzanneG
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Yea! We had our first outing today!!!! We went to the beach for low-tide! NO MORE LOCKDOWN!!! I made it! Whew! Thank goodness! 
Here's the summary of progress, in case anyone is ever just DYING to know what this looks like day to day (which I just KNOW y'all are!)
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:: 1st day - about 10 pair of leggings wet. Nothing in the potty chair. A typical, disastrous, first day!
:: 2nd day - about 3 pair of leggings wet. FINALLY went in the potty chair for the first time around dinner time. (she was holding it longer, hence less "accidents")
:: 3rd day - Went about 4 times on the potty. No leggings wet, BUT......we were also outside, in swimsuits, in pool....and I was not as vigilant (first day of hot weather here) so it's not nec. representative of what "really happened." She probably went outside a couple times and I just don't know about it.
:: 4th day - 1st day that she said, "Go potty!!!!!!" TELLING US she had to go. FINALLY! (this took about a day longer with her than with the other girls.) Everything went in the toilet all day....no accidents!
:: 5th day - still setting the timer, but only every hour. Went by self 3 times. No accidents. (Friday)
:: 6th day - no more timer. Going by self.
:: 7th day - Family Outing !!!! Potty Training Lockdown is OVER!!!!!!!!!!! Everything went in the potty chair!!!!! Still reminding her regularly, but sometimes going by self. We were gone for about 2.5 hours at the beach and was taken to the bathroom twice, but didn't go. So she made it 2.5 hours holding it!!
**************************
This time took a bit longer than usual. Probably because of the hot weather and the pool-stuff on day 3. And, that 3rd day (which is pivotal) when it was 90 degrees, I was exhausted, still somewhat nauseous, and potty training, so I wasn't as vigilant.
And, we probably "could have" gone out on day 6, but...well, we didn't have anywhere to go and I needed to recover! So, it was a 6-day lockdown, which is my longest.....but WHO CARES????!!!!!!!! It's DONE!!!!!!! No more diapers!
And, a bonus for us.....she's waking up dry in the morning and from naptime! Which has never happened to any of our girls. None of them has been out of nighttime diapers before the age of 4.
And a quick HELPFUL HINT that we discovered: On the first and second day, she was wearing her Crocs. So, leggings caught the pee, which then would've run down onto the floor...BUT, the pee was "CAUGHT" in the Crocs!!!!! So, we had to clean up almost NO PUDDLES on Day 1 & 2!!!! My husband started calling them "pee catchers!" 
So, there you have it! (if anyone is still reading  ) Potty Lockdown chez GALLUS 2010!
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Suzanne in ID
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| Posted: July 11 2010 at 10:59pm | IP Logged
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Woo-Hoo!!!!!!
Confetti '.,'.,'., Confetti '.', .',.',Confetti '.,' .,'.,Confetti '.', .',.',Confetti '.,' .,'.,Confetti '.',.,.',
LOVE the breakdown of days chez Gallus!!!!!!
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: potty training a child who doesn't care
