4Real Forums: What to do with refusing Potty Training

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Topic: What to do with refusing Potty Training

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Chris V
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Posted: April 07 2010 at 6:46pm \| IP Logged

Lindsay! My gosh, that is a trying, trying situation ~ and I'm quite certain that I would have felt your frustrations as well, had that been the case for one of my kiddos. How is he now? Still doing the same? Or has it improved?

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Chris
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JennGM
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Posted: April 07 2010 at 6:49pm \| IP Logged

Oh Lindsay. We had the poop issues. It took simply years, sorry to say. Ds was scared because it hurt at one time.

I completely empathize. I'm telling you, I don't know how many meltdowns this Mommy had over that issue.

So, I did resort to pull-ups because I needed some sanity. The $$$ was worth saving me from an occasion of sin.

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Jennifer G. Miller
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CatholicMommy
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Posted: April 07 2010 at 6:50pm \| IP Logged

You've received a lot of input already and I've not read it all... :)

Our solution was just plain weird:

What did the trick for my own son is our lack of watching tv or movies. I set up the little potty chair in the living room and he could watch movies to his heart's content (including a few we rented from the library about children using the toilet). The deal was that the only way he could watch the movies was to sit on the toilet without pants on.

Now, he'd been toilet trained previous to this time - We'd only used a smaller child seat attached the toilet with a stepstool and cloth underpants - it was great! But then he went through a severe emotionally traumatic event resulting in back-sliding in speech and toileting. I also had a daycare in my home with sometimes 5 children in diapers at a time.

I didn't push, just presented the option, explained the ramifications, and placed the stack of movies next to the tv (a small tv place on the coffee table) with the potty chair pulled up to it. I then walked away and let him do as he wished.

Weird. It worked.

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CrunchyMom
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Posted: April 07 2010 at 6:51pm \| IP Logged

They seem better even though he still does those things from time to time. I think that as he's matured, he is a little easier to reason with. So, just now while getting ready for bed (after I posted the above), I told him he was poopy and should go sit on the potty, and he collapsed in a heap saying "but it'll take too long" and after starting to count to three from about four different locations, I got him to go in under 90 seconds without losing my temper. Still a challenge, but an improvement

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Lindsay
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hylabrook1
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Posted: April 07 2010 at 8:53pm \| IP Logged

It seems to me that there are 2 levels of being ready to be potty trained. One is the physical level of being able to hold it and wait until you get to the potty, and the other is more emotional - being ready to accept the responsibility of paying attention, of stopping whatever else you're doing in order to get to the potty on time. And, as you mention, Lindsay, part of it is being able to discuss it all reasonably with the child - the child being in a place where they can meaningfully respond to the reasoning part of the discussion. Personally, I would much prefer to keep diapering for a few extra months and not have all the mess and the frustration I feel over messes like that. I know it's not that simple with some children, and I do sympathize with that. I think sometimes it involves a bit of trial and error until you -aha! - hit upon what works for your child.

Peace,
Nancy

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