4Real Forums: Fighting teens

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

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Mothering and Family Life
4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life

Topic: Fighting teens

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Sarah
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Joined: Aug 17 2005
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Posted: April 10 2010 at 11:04am \| IP Logged

Would you ever consider bringing in someone to help with conflict resolution? Maybe there is a someone like a priest or counselor. I know its hard to let people in your life but there may be a deep anger issue one has toward another for some reason.

Maybe even if you took them for a dinner or treat and discussed what the issue might be and talk about forgiveness toward whatever wrong or anger or feeling of injustice thnst might be eating away at them.

I might be completely off, though.

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Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9

JodieLyn
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Joined: Sept 06 2006
Location: Oregon
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Posted: April 10 2010 at 11:11am \| IP Logged

another idea that is actually workable.. what about a whistle? like a sports coach would use? most kids (even big ones) know to stop whatever at the sound.. especially if it's near and loud.

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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4

All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott

sewcrazy
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Joined: Aug 17 2006
Location: Illinois
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Posted: April 10 2010 at 1:34pm \| IP Logged

Thank you for the thoughts!

Sarah, I know the root of the problem. I just don't know how to correct it. I have tried for years and years. Most things come very easy to my oldest son. School work is easy, making friends is easy. Things are more of a struggle for my 15 year old. Unfortunately, when he sees things come easy for his brother, he often refuses to even try, because he won't be able to it as "well" or as "quickly" as his older brother. Then my oldest makes it worse by pointing out everything the other doesn't succeed at. They have fallen into a cycle of insulting eachother to build themselves up

Our youth minister, whom they both respect, has been working with them to improve their releationship. This is a long term problem we have been trying to deal with. I thought they were getting better, but this week was unbearable

It definitely brought home the point that they are goin to need to be kept very busy this summer.

I have told them, that I don't require them to be friends, just to be civil.

I did finally whack both of them on the back of their calves with the broom handle to get their attention. I am not opposed to a well placed whack to make a point with a child. I was afraid to get between them though. They are big strong boys now.

Jodie a whistle might work, but I cringe at the thought. I am very sensitive to shrill noises. It would surprise them that for sure!

Again thank you for "listening"

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LeeAnn
Wife of David, mom to Ben, Dennis, Alex, Laura, Philip and our little souls in heaven we have yet to meet

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