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SusanJ
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| Posted: Feb 16 2010 at 10:02am | IP Logged
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This morning I sent dh out to get me celery for dinner before he left for work. The grocery store is one block away but my son's wheelchair won't go on the snowy sidewalks so I couldn't get it myself during the day. He said (not really seriously) "Couldn't you just run out at naptime? It's only a block away."
When can you start leaving your kids alone for ten minutes to run a brief errand? I remember my mom leaving us each afternoon to go get our mail which was probably farther away than the grocery store is here. But we lived in the middle of nowhere. I'm sure this is the kind of thing that varies really widely but I'm just curious what other's experiences have been.
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Chris V
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...curious here too!
My kids are about the same age(s) as your kids Susan, and although we don't have a grocery store a block away, I'm sort of looking forward to the day when I can say "I'll be back in 10 minutes..." 
As of now, it's haul the three girls and dog (oh, how upset he would be if he was not included), just for a quick errand during the day. 
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anitamarie
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I think it depends on the child. I didn't start leaving my oldest home at the age of 11, even for short periods. He wouldn't have felt safe and neither would I. We live in a "safe" suburb, but if anyone strange were to call or knock on the door, I wanted to be sure he knew what to do and not to do. Also, if by any chance an emergency with the house were to arise, I wanted to feel confident in his ability to get out. Some kids can be left at younger ages, but I didn't feel that this child could. If I were to leave small children napping, I would be in constant fear of what they would do if they woke up while I was gone, as well.
God Bless,
Anita
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JodieLyn
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you'd have to go with how old is the youngest that a child can babysit or the age of the youngest child to stay alone.. and since we live in town, I went with what is accepted practise in the area.. including by social services.. which around here is I think 9 for being alone and 10 for babysitting siblings.
So yeah I waited until my oldest was 10. She's almost 13 now and quite a good little babysitter. But we did short increments to start with. And it was what prompted me to get a cell phone. Because the first times I was gone for more than 10 minutes I would get a call about every 10-15 minutes I was gone  but that's just what it was for.. they just are checking in and as they learn and figure it out.. that slows down.. until the day you're gone an hour and a half and start to wonder if you should call them and see if they're all dead because no one has called you yet.
But to me it was definately those 10-20 minutes short errands that are the real freedom. Being able to do the necessary without having to bring everyone along. Bliss.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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SusanJ
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| Posted: Feb 16 2010 at 10:55am | IP Logged
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JodieLyn wrote:
But to me it was definately those 10-20 minutes short errands that are the real freedom. Being able to do the necessary without having to bring everyone along. Bliss. |
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Right. I have several regular destinations that are within a ten minute walk of my house and it is hard to get three kids--one of whom is a large baby and one of whom is handicapped (and we have no ramp)--out the door just to get celery.
I had a friend in a different neighborhood who was fine leaving her 9yo daughter alone as long as her little brother wasn't there. It wasn't a babysitting issue--she just thought they'd be more creative together!
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Mom to Joseph-8, Margaret-6, William-4, Gregory-2, and new little one due 11/1
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mom2mpr
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When the kids were little I would run to the mailbox, or out to do a little weeding and praying for 5 minutes(just needed some alone, outside time) when ds was 5 and dd was a baby and asleep in her crib. My leash, the baby monitor, was with me, I only went as far as our reception. Ds was a good 5 and could play a few minutes alone and knew I was just outside.
However, as an aside--you just never know. When he was six-ish, for some strange reason he felt impelled to try to stick a fork in an electric socket, while I was right there. He said he,"wanted to see what would happen." Oy!!
I would hesitate to go to a store or for my 30 minute walk around the neighborhood when they were this young because of getting sidetracked talking to a neighbor or something worse-getting hit by a car, perhaps? You just never know and they are young and home alone. So, I stuck to the yard.
We have just started leaving ds (12) and dd (a young 7) alone for short periods and we are usually close (a restaurant up the road for a dessert date) and the next door neighbor is home, a quick trip to the post office and again, the neighbor is home.
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JSchaaf
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I will leave my three girls home alone (ages 10, 9 and 7) for around 20 minutes while I run to the store, pick someone up, etc. I won't leave the 9 and 7 year old alone together, though, they are the two that would make trouble. I have left the 10 year old home with a napping three year old but that was very fast, about 10 minutes away. We do have a few rules.
Do not answer the phone unless it's mom or dad calling (we have caller id)
Do not answer the door
Do not cook
Do not go on the internet
We also have an extra cell phone that I have them put in their pocket while I'm gone. They also know to go over to my neighbor's if there is an emergency (defined as fire, flood, bones (sticking out!) or blood).
Jennifer
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SusanJ
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| Posted: Feb 16 2010 at 12:22pm | IP Logged
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I found this chart online. I figured that knowing my own state's laws on the subject would be useful.
I found this statement from the same website helpful as well:
"A general rule of thumb is that kids under age seven aren't capable of thinking logically and putting cause and effect together," Tanner said. "They are reliant on caregivers to structure their day." Children between ages 7 and 10 years aren't generally ready to self-supervise for an extended period, but in a routine and predictable environment, such as just after school, they can manage, Tanner said. Children 12 and 13 years old should be judged on a case- by-case basis but should not be left alone overnight."
All more or less common sense and seems to be what many people discover just looking at their kids.
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Mom to Joseph-8, Margaret-6, William-4, Gregory-2, and new little one due 11/1
Life Together
[URL=http://thejohnstonkids.blogspot.com]The Kids' Blog[/UR
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JodieLyn
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Interesting chart..
the age they list for OR is actually only for the one city.
And that is another thing.. cities may actually have restrictions that are more stringent than the state regulations. Just like they can set curfews for teens and such.
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All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
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SusanJ
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Good to know--Jodie you seem so up on your local laws this way. What's your secret? I try to google stuff like this and get really conflicting information.
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JodieLyn
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Susan, my secret was a friend that worked for children's services when my oldest was about 9.. and I asked her.
Plus this is a very small town. So someone always knows someone who knows.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
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LisaR
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woah!!! IL is 14!!!! yikes!
I always had 11 y/o with one other sibling, and age 13 with all siblings.
I guess we are breaking the law....
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Lisa
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JodieLyn
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Lisa, I don't think the University Child Care Resource Center is law.
There's a disclaimer at the top that says the information is just what's readily available online. For Oregon they list the City of Albany's ordinance, which has no applicability beyond the city limits.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Feb 16 2010 at 12:53pm | IP Logged
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the law that's posted on that site Lisa says
Quote:
Illinois law defines a neglected minor, in part, as "any minor under the age of 14 years whose parent or other person responsible for the minor's welfare leaves the minor without supervision for an unreasonable period of time without regard for the mental or physical health, safety or welfare of that minor."
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
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LisaR
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JodieLyn wrote:
Lisa, I don't think the University Child Care Resource Center is law.
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well, some people here might disagree
I think we'll stay with what works for us.
We live literally .5-4 mi. from everything, stores, Drs, etc. and those ages have worked well for us...
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
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Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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Kathryn
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Can you believe a state like TX has such a liberal law as NO AGE LIMIT?!!?
I have twice in the past few months left my 10 (now 11 yo dd) home w/ the napping 2 year old while I ran to p/u take-out and her dad had to get to a store before it closed and I was on my way home. She was home about 10 min. each time. She is extremely mature and wise and I trust her judgment. HOWEVER, this would NOT be allowed w/ 9 year old brother around so brother was at a friend's house on one occasion and dad took him w/ him on the 2nd. The 9 yo will be the one allowed to stay home alone when he's ohhh...may be 25!
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sewcrazy
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I leave my 10 year old home with the 5 year old if I will be less than an hour.
I am in IL also, and asked about the wording of the law that states 14. I was told that you can leave children under 14 alone as long as you are sure it is a safe situation, that they have proper food and drink, and are mental capable of handling the responsiblity of being alone. It is a very vague law.
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stacykay
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It appears MI has no age limit, either. In looking around, I found two interesting articles. Although one is from the UK, it has good things to think about before making a decision. Here is the article.
And
here is the other one.
Good question!
God Bless,
Stacy in MI
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Angie Mc
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I don't have time to read the articles linked here, and hope this point is already being made, that even if you feel you are within the legal rights of your state/county/city...and even if you have made prudential decisions based on subjective matter such as individual child maturity, etc....**if anything goes wrong** at your home among your children while you are gone, you can have CPS charges filed against you and an investigation can ensue. This is especially true if medical care is needed from an outside medical provider yet anyone from a well-intended neighbor to a police officer (who drives by your home and notices an open door with children out front and goes to the door to see you aren't there) to your relative who doesn't like your child raising habits, can trip the trigger of a CPS investigation. *Anyone.* If you have more than 2 children, home educate, are Christian, don't vaccinate, spank, and/or swim against the mainstream tide in other ways, all of these factors can be used (formally or subjectively) against you as "proof" of neglect. Be especially careful if you or your dh has a professional license that can be negatively impacted by such an investigation. Consider that some families will need legal representation and this can be costly. These investigations can last anywhere from 6 weeks to 6 months or more - even when there is no evidence of neglect or abuse.
Please carefully weigh your decisions based on the benefits vs. these very real risks. As your children grow older, do whatever you can to "make your case" for safety, such as getting them certified in babysitting, first aid, and CPR as well as general home safety improvement such as proper pool fences, outlet protectors, fire extinguishers, locked fire arms, locked medicines, locked knives, etc. Avoid being cavalier or fear-based by being cautious, well-informed and as prepared as you can be for a worst case scenario.
Love,
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Angie Mc
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JodieLyn
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Good point Angie. Annoymous callers may not be truthful either and there's no way to confront that. Also, the CPS climate in your area makes a difference. Some have good people working there, who protect your rights even if they come and ask you questions. Others, they don't even bother to ask you questions and can get law enforcement to help them remove children on nothing more than an untruthful annoymous call.. regardless of what the law or their regulations say about it.
Another thing to consider in the equation. Most of those sites talk about how long you might be gone.. but it's very different if you'll be 5 minutes away for 2 hrs than if you are going to be 45 minutes away for 2 hours.
That's one of the things I considered when considering the younger age (10+) was that I can literally be home in 5 minutes or less from anywhere in town.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: when can kids stay home alone?
