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SeaStar
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I approach decluttering in a similar fashion to LeeAnn, only I tend to do it on a smaller scale.
I tend to swoop through an area (such as a desk top or book shelf ) and take everything off it and put all the stuff in a box or bag. It is always SO nice to see that uncluttered surface. Then, at some point, I slowly go through the box or bag- sometimes just taking out one item a day and deciding its fate, because dealing with items one at a time is so much easier for me.
I think LeeAnn is so right- it is much easier to detach when you have a heap of stuff in a bag that has been sitting there for two weeks and you can't even remember what was in it.
If I had a whole day and no kids around and someone able to help me, I would make a giant pile like KJP suggests. Otherwise, I have to do it in bits and pieces as time allows. Progress can be slow, but as long as there is progress I do not get (too) discouraged.
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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Bookswithtea
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I'm in the midst of figuring out what to dejunk for books (school related, not my personal bookshelf). I started with clearing out books that I knew I didn't want. That was the easy part.  Now I'm at the harder part. 
This may sound neurotic, but here's what I'm doing. I am taking every subject area that our books fall into. Then I am making lists of an overall academic plan for that subject, K-high school. By doing this, I am finding that its easier to get rid of certain things that I might be tempted to keep "just in case." When I started wroting out my plans, I was actually quite surprised at how much I gravitate to the same systems for each subject, year after year. Realizing that gave me the courage to get more serious about clearing out extra school books.
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mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and  due 9/10
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Marcia
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| Posted: Jan 12 2010 at 6:33pm | IP Logged
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okay maybe you all who are "gifting" your books to the thrift store could post them on here for us book hoarders....to page through.....okay that's not helping our problem either.
One thing I did (off the book topic) is to create some soothing sounds in our house. We live in the winter part of the world and somedays we can only hear the wind howl. I begged husband to bring in our fountain from the front yard before the weather turned and now we have a fountain in our house to make soothing water sounds during these cold winter months. ah. It might sound like a beach or a stream...but it's in the dining room. :)
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Marcia
Mom to six and wife to one
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I wonder why
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Gloria JMJ
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| Posted: Jan 12 2010 at 11:32pm | IP Logged
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Marcia wrote:
| okay maybe you all who are "gifting" your books to the thrift store could post them on here for us |
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Smoothing Stones Holy Family Rosaries
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Gloria JMJ
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Another idea too might be to take them to a local used book store. they will give you credit for the ones that they can sell and you can then use the credit the next time you buy books there.
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Smoothing Stones Holy Family Rosaries
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teachingmyown
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We kind of skipped over Chapter 2 and his comparison of when our children are ill and when they have a "soul fever". Does anyone find it hard to always be aware of when your kids are suffering from a soul fever? I find that with so many kids, I sometimes miss those signs that signal overload until it is so glaring I can't ignore it.
How do you handle this? How will simplifying help you to be more in tune?
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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Anastasia
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I did just go through my library, and get rid of the books I don't really want. Of course, I promptly used all the money I made selling them on half.com to buy.......more books.
But I've decided it's OK; everybody has a category of stuff you feel attached to and can never let go, and with me it's books.
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Marcia
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can we create a new icon/smiliey for those of us who are book obsessed?
I personally found the emotional fever (I like that word better than the soul) chapter to be GREAT!
I had just finished reading that chapter when my 2 year old came down with a fever. I was so patient with her as she whined for days...along with her runny nose and cough. In fact we all learned to find ways to make her happy and feel loved even though she was SUPER cranky.
I want to be that way when my kids are suffering through an emotional fever. I want to be able to skip things and give them my whole attention. I want them to be sympathetic to each other. This means I need to start really being tuned in to their quirkiness. I have started to simplify our outings to only include two stops rather than feeling like I have to do all the errands in one day and get them out of the way. I also am trying to give them plenty of down time in the afternoon to find their peacefulness after schooling.
And I am proud to say that I have been playing more math games for RightStart. I had gotten out of the habit and it feels so good to play with them and also to see how much they really know without doing the math problems on paper! yeah!
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Marcia
Mom to six and wife to one
Homeschooling 10th, 7th, 5th, 2nd, PreK and a toddler in tow.
I wonder why
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LeeAnn
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Anastasia, my usual pattern is to take three or four bags of things to the used bookstore to sell and walk away with one or two new titles. :) I figure if I got rid of 50 things, it can't be too bad to just bring in one or two. My weakness is the children's clearance shelves, lots of things for 50-cents or a dollar.
I am going through my shelf of spiritual reading right now, picking out the stuff I am not going to read again or that someone else could be benefitting from that I never got around to reading in the first place!!! I am keeping the books that I read over and over (old CS Lewis classics like "The Great Divorce") and more current books that deal with simplicity, parenting and the home. I really don't have time to read deep theological stuff like I used to. Time to let someone else enjoy it.
Yesterday I pulled about four grocery bags of mediocre or just okay books to take to the next hs meeting.
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my four children are 17, 15, 11 & 8 - all now attend public school - we read many 4Real recommended books at home
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Bookswithtea
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Marcia wrote:
| I personally found the emotional fever (I like that word better than the soul) chapter to be GREAT! |
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The entire chapter on soul fever seemed to me to be a re-casting of Dr. Sears' 'know your child and help your child to feel right' concept in his attachment parenting books.
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Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
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SeaStar
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I am finding that it's hard for me to pinpoint at times what the exact cause of the soul fever is.
For example, my ds- who takes change hard- was absolutely distraught after Christmas because we got a new toaster oven. He cried, didn't want it in the kitchen, didn't want to eat food that had been cooked in it. This went on for a week! He was on an emotional short fuse that whole week.
Was it really the toaster oven that set this off? Or was it coming down off that Christmas high? Or something else ?
When I can't pinpoint a cause, it is hard to know how to approach diffusing the problem. He was in such a state of unrest that trying to provide more quiet time did not seem to help- which made me wonder if all the Christmas clutter around was making it all worse?
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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SusanMc
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With respect to the "just in case" or grandkid issue, I usually ask myself if it is more important to keep an item (book, clothes, toys) just in case in the future or if it could be more useful to someone else RIGHT NOW. I have a hard time holding onto extra books, jackets, baby items, when I think about some poor mama/baby/student who could really be using those things in this moment. Who am I to keep them in a box/attic/shelf?
While we aren't wealthy we do have all our needs met and if I REALLY needed it back, I'm sure I could buy/thrift another one.
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stellamaris
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SeaStar wrote:
I am finding that it's hard for me to pinpoint at times what the exact cause of the soul fever is.
For example, my ds- who takes change hard- was absolutely distraught after Christmas because we got a new toaster oven. He cried, didn't want it in the kitchen, didn't want to eat food that had been cooked in it. This went on for a week! He was on an emotional short fuse that whole week.
Was it really the toaster oven that set this off? Or was it coming down off that Christmas high? Or something else ?
When I can't pinpoint a cause, it is hard to know how to approach diffusing the problem. He was in such a state of unrest that trying to provide more quiet time did not seem to help- which made me wonder if all the Christmas clutter around was making it all worse? |
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I think holidays are the best example of "soul fever"! The children get soooo excited and revved up. I had one ds who was just a monster before every trip or major holiday...he basically spent at lot of time the three days before Christmas in his room because he just could not be civil to anyone. I finally associated it with all the holiday hoopla. This is an advantage we can have as Catholics- the major holidays are all celebrated in the Church for a long time. First, a lead-in like Lent and Advent, and then the octave and season that follow. I have found it easier on my children to spread the holiday activities out over time, a little bit each day. We even do our decorating and undecorating (not a word, but ykwim!) over the course of several weeks.
I'm steeling myself to take all of the books off the shelves next week and all of the toys and clothes out of the boys' room and really pare down. I think I can actually do this here in DE, but whether or not I can do it in VA where we have literally thousands (or so it seems) of books, I don't know.
What about valuable out-of-print books that can't be replaced if sold? A lot of the FIAR books that are OOP are very expensive to buy.
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Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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Bookswithtea
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stellamaris wrote:
What about valuable out-of-print books that can't be replaced if sold? A lot of the FIAR books that are OOP are very expensive to buy. |
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No way. These I am not even considering selling. I figure if they are beloved books that my children will remember as adults (this is already the case with many FIAR books), then they are worth having in my grandma library. Fwiw, I'm never selling my FIAR manuals, either. One of them has already gone OOP, and what if one of my children wants to homeschool some day and by then they are completely unavailable? I have used FIAR on and off since my oldest (now 16) was 6. My FIAR stash is priceless to me.
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Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and due 9/10
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SeaStar
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Bookswithtea wrote:
stellamaris wrote:
What about valuable out-of-print books that can't be replaced if sold? A lot of the FIAR books that are OOP are very expensive to buy. |
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No way. These I am not even considering selling. I figure if they are beloved books that my children will remember as adults (this is already the case with many FIAR books), then they are worth having in my grandma library. Fwiw, I'm never selling my FIAR manuals, either. One of them has already gone OOP, and what if one of my children wants to homeschool some day and by then they are completely unavailable? I have used FIAR on and off since my oldest (now 16) was 6. My FIAR stash is priceless to me. |
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I have to agree. Books do go out of print (or are OOP) and then are terribly expensive to replace. I think of the Betsy-Tacy series... before they went back into print (just a few months ago), some of the volumes were about impossible to find and hugely expensive. Even if I never have grandchildren, I know that someone will want them. Plus, I have so many nieces and nephews who are growing up and having children- I look forward to reading some of my precious horde to those little ones, too.
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
SQUILT Music Appreciation
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SeaStar
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stellamaris wrote:
I think holidays are the best example of "soul fever"! The children get soooo excited and revved up. I had one ds who was just a monster before every trip or major holiday...he basically spent at lot of time the three days before Christmas in his room because he just could not be civil to anyone. I finally associated it with all the holiday hoopla. This is an advantage we can have as Catholics- the major holidays are all celebrated in the Church for a long time. First, a lead-in like Lent and Advent, and then the octave and season that follow. I have found it easier on my children to spread the holiday activities out over time, a little bit each day. We even do our decorating and undecorating (not a word, but ykwim!) over the course of several weeks. |
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Oh, I agree. The holiday season is brutal at my house. By Christmas Eve my ds is so worked up that he literally can't even sleep. This year he went to bed at 8:30, then was up again by 11 pm for the night! Last year he was asleep by 8 and then up at midnight for the night. He never went back to sleep. I am just wringing my hands, thinking of next year... how do I help him through this? We had Merry Grumpy Yawning Christmas at my house this year  . At Halloween it was my dd- up at 11 pm, thinking it was morning, then up at 2 AM for three hours, crying because I wouldn't let her go downstairs. The only peaceful holiday we have is Thanksgiving, and I believe it is because there is no anticipation of more stuff .
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Melinda, mom to ds ('02) and dd ('04)
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Nina Murphy
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SeaStar wrote:
stellamaris wrote:
I think holidays are the best example of "soul fever"! The children get soooo excited and revved up. I had one ds who was just a monster before every trip or major holiday...he basically spent at lot of time the three days before Christmas in his room because he just could not be civil to anyone. I finally associated it with all the holiday hoopla. This is an advantage we can have as Catholics- the major holidays are all celebrated in the Church for a long time. First, a lead-in like Lent and Advent, and then the octave and season that follow. I have found it easier on my children to spread the holiday activities out over time, a little bit each day. We even do our decorating and undecorating (not a word, but ykwim!) over the course of several weeks. |
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Oh, I agree. The holiday season is brutal at my house. By Christmas Eve my ds is so worked up that he literally can't even sleep. This year he went to bed at 8:30, then was up again by 11 pm for the night! Last year he was asleep by 8 and then up at midnight for the night. He never went back to sleep. I am just wringing my hands, thinking of next year... how do I help him through this? We had Merry Grumpy Yawning Christmas at my house this year . At Halloween it was my dd- up at 11 pm, thinking it was morning, then up at 2 AM for three hours, crying because I wouldn't let her go downstairs. The only peaceful holiday we have is Thanksgiving, and I believe it is because there is no anticipation of more stuff . |
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Yup. This is us. Except, I have to include Thanksgiving. ANY TIME THEY KNOW there is a visit or trip coming up, too. ARGHHHHHH. I try to keep things secret from them for this reason. But you can't keep holidays and birthdays secret!
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Marcia
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I wonder if he will cover some of this is the chapter on filtering out the adult world. Perhaps by what we say and do to prepare for a holiday is actually creating the environment for them to be out of sorts. I know I've done that and then actually gotten mad at them for acting out of sorts! I've got a long road to learn in this mothering thing....
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Marcia
Mom to six and wife to one
Homeschooling 10th, 7th, 5th, 2nd, PreK and a toddler in tow.
I wonder why
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Marcia
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OKAY chapter 3.
I got this.
pg 76
How many toys can your child (depending on their age) put away by themselves in five minutes? Let that be your guide in knowing how many toys a child needs!
AHHA! I need to simplify EVEN MORE.
I do feel good that several toys that were given at Christmas time never made it into the house from the g-parents. One was a spinning top that has fiber optic lights and noises. WHat? Who EVER thought a 2 year old needed that much high-stimulation?
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Marcia
Mom to six and wife to one
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I wonder why
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doris
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I have just received this book and am reading like a parched man finding an oasis...
Quick question. What about birthdays, Christmas? I haven't done the radical decluttering yet, but I can just see that each time there's a gift-receiving opportunity, the clutter creeps in again... And it's presumably harder to get rid of the stuff if the place is otherwise decluttered and the gift is a recent memory...
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4Real Forums : Book Club
Topic: Simp. Parent. Ch 2 & 3: the environment
