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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Jan 13 2010 at 1:46pm | IP Logged
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Oh Claudia, it's so sad but I'm glad to hear a good update that all went as well as it could for the situation. 
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Nina Murphy
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| Posted: Jan 13 2010 at 2:09pm | IP Logged
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Oh, dear Claudia. Thank you for sharing with all of us throughout this experience and "bringing us in" as close female companions in the journey. I have been personally affected by your posts. I continue to pray for your peace and healing.
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God bless,
~~Nina
mother of 9 on earth,
and 2 yet-to-be-met
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juststartn
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| Posted: Jan 13 2010 at 2:30pm | IP Logged
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Claudia, I am just now reading this...
We lost a wee one last fall (well, 08), at just 11 wks. We had had problems for a couple of weeks, but I was able to see the baby fine and healthy on Tuesday afternoon, wiggling and waving on the u/s...and Friday morning...I woke up in labor. There is nothing else to call it, when ctx are a minute long and 2 min apart... 
Obviously, there was no time to get to the hospital--I ended up delivering our wee one only 30 min after labor started...we buried the wee body in our back yard...in a jewelry box from my 10th anniversary wedding ring, with a mattress made of fabric with "Love" written on it, and a wee square of white flannel with blue rosebuds..DH dug a deep hole at the foot of a maple, and there our wee one is, where I can see the grave every day as I look out the bedroom windows.
It still does not seem "right", to me, as some of the other ladies have said, that there is a hole where 'someone' should be. We were too early to determine gender, so we named our wee one the name that came to me when I was going to my apptmt on the Tuesday prior, Ave Maria...the grave has a circle of gravel, and a statue of the Blessed Mother standing at the "head", between the roots of the tree. There were no other options, and we were not about to have our child discarded, as a friend of mine found out had been done with her 'lost' wee one of similar age, after being examined and then the mother is told "yep, you had a miscarriage"... 
You have my deepest, deepest condolences. You may be fine for long stretches, and then something will happen to make you cry. I'm crying a bit typing this. But for all that I wish that things could have been different, I know that He knows best. I may not see the reason now--He may never explain it. I just pray that someday, I will be blessed enough to behold my sweet lost one. It won't be on this side of the 'veil' between heaven and earth...but someday.
For now, I'll go to Mass, and know that my sweet Ave Maria is just on the other side, worshipping Our Lord with all of your babies...
I'm sorry for any typos (crying and typing isn't easy, you know?  ). And I pray that you will heal, mentally and physically. It will take time, but in time, it won't be as devastating.
Rachel
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Married DH 4/1/95
Lily 3/11/00
Helena(Layna) 5/23/02
Sophia 4/19/04
John 5/7/07
David 5/7/07
Ava Maria, in the arms of Jesus, 9/5/08
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Lisbet
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| Posted: Jan 13 2010 at 5:33pm | IP Logged
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Claudia, dear mother, I have been praying for you. I am so glad all went well for you and your family. My heart aches for you. Nina said it very well. While I never would want anyone to go through this, I am grateful for being able to share our experiences. Get plenty of rest and give yourself all of the time you need to grieve and process all that has happened.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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12stars
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| Posted: Jan 13 2010 at 5:54pm | IP Logged
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Oh the tears, grieving and heartache are here to stay. They come at the oddest times. Last night I woke up in the middle of the night and I just started crying. At times it feels surreal and I am numb. I miss being pregnant, I think about how I am not going to get the layette ready, nor my stash of cloth diapers set, no bath times or late night nursings just gazing at this little one.
I know if it is God's will we will have another child, but this little one was irreplaceable and unique. The pain is just hard at times, and I know that at those times God and Mary Francis are closest to me.
ETA I am so sorry Rachel for your loss, our little ones as you have said are intercessing for us. That really has brought me so much comfort and joy to know that. I am so saddened by the women that have children in heaven and don't know or understand that.
I am sad to think of all the countless women who are not heard or their beliefs are not respected, and the children not given any dignity.
This was one thing I was not going without a fight on. I know that things could have been very differently and very much out of my hands, and I would have been alright with that. But as long as I was able to ask and even pester I would.
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Claudia in Southern California
Wife to George,
Mom to DD 14, DD 10, DD 7, DS 4, DS 2, 1 in heaven, and now due 5/11.
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LisaR
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| Posted: Jan 13 2010 at 8:25pm | IP Logged
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(((Claudia)))
Anytime after I see my adorable little nephew Charles, I end up crying or waking in the night feeling I am missing someone.
My baby was due the exact same day Charles was born, and my sister and I so looked forward to having baby cousins together.
continued prayers for you and your family, and crying with you, and for all mothers who miss their little precious ones!
__________________
Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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cheesehead mom
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| Posted: Jan 16 2010 at 10:35am | IP Logged
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Here is the link to the Holy Innocents shrine (church affiliated with Fr. Groechel's order I believe) that allows you to name your unborn child and print a certificate in their memory. They pray for your family as well. God's peace be with you.
Laura
http://www.innocents.com/shrine.asp
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JennyM
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| Posted: Jan 16 2010 at 3:34pm | IP Logged
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Claudia,
I am so sorry. I just found this thread and read through your sorrowful and difficult journey. The grief is deep and painful, isn't it? But, know that so many of us here grieve with you and know the cries and aches of your sweet heart. We lost one at 11 weeks to miscarriage back in April... our Simon. Praying for you much!
Love,
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 JennyM
Wife to wonderful husband, mama to Anne (12/07), and two precious little ones with God
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Turtle
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| Posted: Feb 10 2010 at 8:32pm | IP Logged
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I have followed these boards for a while, but tonight is the first time I've posted. I'm so sorry for all the losses that I've read of on this thread. My question is actually for LisaR. How in the world did you cope with your sister's pregnancy. You see, I'm in that same situation. My sil and I both announced our pregnancies at the same time and were due within 3 weeks of each other. Last week, I miscarried (the second time this year). Right now I just feel so numb, but I know how much seeing her is going to hurt.
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12stars
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| Posted: Feb 10 2010 at 10:50pm | IP Logged
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I am so sorry Turtle, I really am. My SIL and I were due a day apart I bearly was able to see her til this weekend. Christmas Eve was the last time I had seen seen her, I couldn't do it before. She kept in contact with me but nothing else. She is showing now and I felt like crying pulling up into the driveway of my IL's house. But in the end I didn't.
I have felt better everyday and God allows time to heal. I can't speak on Lisa's behalf but I will say don't feel bad that you need time to yourself.
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Claudia in Southern California
Wife to George,
Mom to DD 14, DD 10, DD 7, DS 4, DS 2, 1 in heaven, and now due 5/11.
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Erin
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| Posted: Feb 11 2010 at 1:00am | IP Logged
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Claudia and Turtle
6 years ago I was very excited to be pregnant at the same time as my cousin, we were due three days apart. We lost our babe at 16 weeks.
It was hard then that to know her baby was coming, but in the end it was healing. When I held her babe in my arms I found a great sense of peace. And every time I look at that little one I remember and I smile. I do!! I never thought I would, but I do. I don't know how your journey will be but I share that you can, surprisingly, have an unexpected reaction.
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Erin
Faith Filled Days
Seven Little Australians
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Maggie
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| Posted: Feb 11 2010 at 7:39am | IP Logged
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Oh--I am so so so sorry. Having been through this twice recently, I can empathize.
I would try to let the baby come on his own time, if you can.
As far as bleeding goes, both my doctor and midwife have told me that if you soak a pad more than once per hour or pass large clots then you need to seek medical attention.
I do not know if you are interested this ministry or not--some women find it comforting having photos (taken free of charge by professional photographers) of their child after he comes into this world. It's up to you and your husband.
Also, I highly recommend that you contact the Elizabeth Ministry for any practical resources you may need. We ordered a tiny burial vault for one of our miscarried babies and had him buried in a Catholic cemetery. NOTE: Even if a Catholic Cemetery is "full", many priests are willing to work with you to find a place for your baby.
In regards to all the emotional stuff afterwards (I agree, for me this is far worse than the actual, physical miscarriage), please contact the Pope Paul VI Institute, as not only do they treat moms with infertility/miscarriage, they are also experts on PPD and will provide the support you need.
I am so sorry you are going through this. All I can say is when you don't have the strength to pray, just say, "Jesus, I Trust In You."
Maggie
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Wife to dh (12 years) Mama to dd (10) ds (8), dd (1), ds (nb) and to Philip Mary (5/26/09), Lucy Joy (12/6/09), and Margaret Mary (3/6/10) who entered Heaven before we had a chance to hold them.
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Maggie
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| Posted: Feb 11 2010 at 8:26am | IP Logged
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Oh, dear...I did not read your update before I posted.
At any rate, I'll leave my post up, in case it can help someone else.
I am so glad things went peacefully for you and your family.
Many hugs to you!!
__________________
Wife to dh (12 years) Mama to dd (10) ds (8), dd (1), ds (nb) and to Philip Mary (5/26/09), Lucy Joy (12/6/09), and Margaret Mary (3/6/10) who entered Heaven before we had a chance to hold them.
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LisaR
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| Posted: Feb 11 2010 at 6:27pm | IP Logged
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Turtle wrote:
| My question is actually for LisaR. How in the world did you cope with your sister's pregnancy. You see, I'm in that same situation. My sil and I both announced our pregnancies at the same time and were due within 3 weeks of each other. Last week, I miscarried (the second time this year). Right now I just feel so numb, but I know how much seeing her is going to hurt. |
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well, it actually was/is quite painful still at times. I see her at least a few times a week, all through the pregnancy, and currently (She delivered Dec 1, 2009).
The baptism was really hard. My siblings/mom are not too demonstrative, so after I told them the news of the loss, there was sympathy, of course, but then it has never been mentioned again.
I'm not sure if that has been better or worse for me.
My daughter tells anyone who will listen that she was supposed to have a sibling just when Aunt Teresa had her baby, but that mommy's baby died.
many prayers for you.
one day at a time!
love,
__________________
Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: I have never been through this before
