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insegnante
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Posted: Nov 28 2009 at 7:44pm | IP Logged Quote insegnante

Okay, another topic where I'm asking a question with the fear of ending up offending people by having a very mild tendency toward an opinion that I'm willing to be flexible about and which is not a criticism of other people.

What do you do for Christmas cards? Just the family photo cards with a brief Christmas message? Just "Christmas cards" without photos, or with photos enclosed? Does anyone do both types of cards for everyone (in the same envelope?), or have lists of different people for different types of cards?

I've resisted doing family photo cards for years. Please do not be offended as if I am saying you who do these cards are doing wrong or something. I just miss the Nativity scene and related religious cards and the opportunity to send these as our Christmas greeting. I realize it is not at all "wrong" to participate in it and that many of you probably make sure to include a very Christ-centered Christmas message. But I have trouble getting past seeming to "replace" the Nativity scene with a big photo of my family! (I guess that's the part I'm afraid of offending people with. But I realize there was never an obligation to send any card at all, nor have I for several years, and also, that every religious card didn't have a Nativity scene or Madonna and Child rather than some other symbol.)

Because the other cards are so widespread now including with devoutly religious people, I feel like sending more traditional cards may be received more negatively by some than it once would have. In the past it seemed no one was surprised when people known to be religious sent that kind of card. Now it may be more likely to seem "holier-than-thou" because so many others who are known to be religious don't feel the need to send such a card.

I was looking forward to finally getting it together to send cards this year because I have been so disorganized I haven't even gotten around to it regardless of the kind, but then I felt disheartened at the traditional non-photo cards seeming to be a thing of the past. Even if we enclose a photo, I wonder what to think about the traditional card in itself standing out from the crowd.

I don't know if I should just forgo the old tradition for the sake of connections (and the opportunity to still send a religious message even if a family photo is the visual center) to people without risk of sending the wrong message by clinging to my preference, even though I think there are pretty good reasons for my preference.

I guess there's always a photo the kids with our Nativity scene or something, right?

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Posted: Nov 28 2009 at 7:56pm | IP Logged Quote folklaur

i am just going to tell you what we do.

i send cards i like.

sometimes they are religious. sometimes they are cute. i have no trouble with the word "holiday" since it came from "holy day." i usually do not send different cards to different people (there are some exceptions.) but some years i have sent different cards to every person if we made them, and then each one was unique.

i love getting religious cards, photo cards, and cute cards. in *my* opinion, they are all MUCH better options than "cyber cards" and "e-cards" - which seems to be what so many people do anymore.

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Posted: Nov 28 2009 at 8:07pm | IP Logged Quote Michaela

Each year we purchase our Christmas Cards from the Knights of Columbus at our church. The money helps the KofC and I'm able to purchase a "Christ-centered message."   

Honestly, I am so thankful for any card my family receives! Like Laura, receiving the cyber cards has become the norm from friends and family. I'm even thankful for that one crude humor card that comes every year from my BIL and his wife. At least they are thinking about us and not sending a group email to everyone in their address book the day before Christmas.



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Posted: Nov 28 2009 at 8:29pm | IP Logged Quote juststartn

Oh--we do a regular (religious) card, with a letter and family photo inside. LOL.

Yep. I insult every group on the planet, and I do. not. care.

No, I don't just do the photo cards. I take the children outside, and take a good picture, and then go to one of those places where you can develop your own digital pictures, and make however many copies (usually over 50), and then spend some time labeling the back...

Yes, I am an insanely crazy card-sender. But our family is so spread out, and so rarely see our dc...not to mention all of the military friends and "family" we have grown to know and love through the years, that they "need" to see the children. LOL.

I try and make it a multi-stage process, and include the dc when I can...I label envelopes, pictures, and write/print the letter. Oldest dd helps stuff envelopes, middle dd helps stamp, and youngest dd helps haul them to the mail box. LOL. The boys are still too young for much helping in that regard. LOL

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Posted: Nov 28 2009 at 8:30pm | IP Logged Quote Paula in MN

Like the other wise responses (responders?), we love every card we get. Some years I send cards, some years pictures. It depends on what I have on hand from previous years, and how long it's been since the last Christmas picture. I don't do a newsletter, because I never think I have anything important to write. I love receiving them, though!

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Posted: Nov 28 2009 at 8:46pm | IP Logged Quote SeaStar

In the past we have always done a Christmas letter with pictures, but last year, when my dd was her sickest, we just did a photo card. It was all we could manage. It had a nativity scene on the bottom and the picture on the top, plus a short message.

We love to receive cards. I think the only kind that I don't really care for is a regular card with just a signature- if it is from someone that I don't see/talk to often. For years I have received a card with only a signature from a friend I knew in college... it's nice to get her card, but sheesh! We haven't talked in years, and I know nothing about her life anymore. I wish she would write just a little something to let me know how she is, but I guess I know she is still alive because that card comes every year , and it is kind of her to think of us. For friends we see frequently, a card with a signature only is happily received.

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Posted: Nov 28 2009 at 9:00pm | IP Logged Quote LLMom

Every year I order cards from the Fraternity of St. Peter. They are Mass cards with beautiful Christmas scenes on them. We try to send a family photo every year and dh types a family Christmas letter to enclose.

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Posted: Nov 28 2009 at 9:37pm | IP Logged Quote Mimip

Theresa,

We do the photo cards that are from CVS. We make sure that we get one with a nativity scene on the side and write a Christ centered message on it. Yes, our family is in the center instead of Christ and yes, we never even realized this until last year when my mom asked who was the center of Christmas us or the Christ child?   

I was not offended but it did make me stop and think and then I realized that this one picture is the only picture that many of our friends and family see of our family. I send out over 100 Christmas cards and last year received almost that many and I treasure each and every one. We have kept up the picture cards year round until it got to be too many for our fabric banner ( I pin them on) This year after the Christmas season they'll be put into a Christmas photo book, where the pictures will be looked at time and time again. Everyone that receives a card from us knows that we celebrate Christmas with a Christ center and I don't think sending a card with a photo of the family takes away from that.

I think that sending a photo within a card with the Nativity on the front could be a very nice compromise. We did that a few years ago too!

Good luck, hope you come to a solution that you can live with

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Posted: Nov 30 2009 at 8:44am | IP Logged Quote crusermom

I know when I put up all our cards last year - it struck me that it was all pictures of people and families and even pets.    People on vacation, people doing their favorite sport, etc. I know it is much easier to do those kind of cards and I can understand why people do it. But, it is not as heart warming to me as in the past when you had a mantel full of beautiful cards.

I like to send a card with a photo of the family inside. I love well written Christmas letters. I even love poorly written Christmas letters.

Bottom line, I am happy when people stay in touch - even if it is a cyber card!

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Posted: Nov 30 2009 at 8:56am | IP Logged Quote cheesehead mom

For the first year we are not sending a picture and family letter. Baby #7 is due anytime but mostly money constraints means I will send out an e-mail link with our blog and some pictures/letter. A few older relatives will receive a card who are not on e-mail. I love receiving cards too but this is in keeping with our simplicity theme this year. I am amazed at how much the Lord blesses us when we have to keep it simple--found a DVD the kids will love at ST. Vincent's for $1 (go Bibleman!) and a Star Wars CD my 13 year old will love for $2.50.

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Posted: Nov 30 2009 at 9:37am | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

I love any card I recieve. I'm horrible about sending anything.. and finally just gave up.. such a waste of money when i couldn't get those cards mailed .. might even have stamps on the envelopes etc.

Maybe one of my kids will be less mail challenged than their mother and we can manage cards again.

I do send some people pictures and such via email.. but then my folks prefer that being in their RV full time. They do a photo slide show on their computer and can see all the pictures where they don't have space to display them otherwise.

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Posted: Nov 30 2009 at 10:28am | IP Logged Quote Matilda

We have run the gamut when it comes to Christmas cards including the photo card. Last year, our family celebrated two Confirmations and one First Holy Communion so we used pictures from those Sacraments on the front with a simple "Merry Christmas" below them.

In past years, when we have sent specifically Catholic cards, I did purchase some non-demoninational Christian ones for my Southern Baptist relatives. I really don't think they noticed and I stopped worrying about it after a while.

Personally, I love receiving Christmas cards that come with family photos that I can put on my fridge and leave up for the rest of the year. I think you should do what you feel comfortable with this year and don't be afraid to try something new next year if it suits you.

Interesting to note that the first commercially commissioned Christmas card depicted a family feasting in the middle panel with depictions of the destitute on the sides. It was meant to remind people not to forget the poor during the festal season and had no representation of the Nativity. In my family's Eastern European culture, it was the father who wrote out and decorated the Christmas greetings to family and friends. I'd love to go back to that, but I'm afraid my Husband would break his arm to get out of it!

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Posted: Nov 30 2009 at 4:22pm | IP Logged Quote CrunchyMom

I have similar thoughts, Theresa, but I also like the photo card option for other reasons, and after tossing around all the options, most of which we have tried, this is what I settled on this year.

I made my own photo card (in Microsoft Publisher) and uploaded it to the blank card option at Costco.

I put a traditional holy card as the prominent image along with a longish but beautiful quote from St. Boniface in the center beside it. In the narrow "strip" at the top I put the Merry Christmas and along the bottom I put little pictures cropped from some favorites throughout the year and a simple signature that included the kids ages.

Then, I have pretty paper notes to hand write a note to include with the card. I will print on the note the url for my blog for anyone who is interested in seeing what we've been up to this year.

What I do certainly isn't a judgment on anyone else since I really have tried just about every option in the 6 years I've been married. This is just what I've settled on for now.

Last year, I used one of the photo cards stock options that had multiple picture slots and a more formal background and uploaded a holy card as one of the center images.

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Posted: Nov 30 2009 at 4:46pm | IP Logged Quote CrunchyMom



Here is my card I came up with after hours of agonizing over not finding exactly what I wanted and could afford. I removed our sig

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Posted: Nov 30 2009 at 6:41pm | IP Logged Quote Kathryn

I typically always send an updated photo of my kids to everyone. I love getting updated photos (and newsletters) too. A standard card with a family's signature never quite does it for me. I want more so I try to give more.

I've done religious cards w/ the photos stuck inside.

I've done a newsletter updating where we all are in terms of what's happening in our lives along w/ drawings from my children.

I've done the standard photo card only from JCPenney/Target.

Last year I sent the standard photo card I did thru Snapfish I think but had a message on the back as well as the front.

In everything I send, there is always, always, the message about how thankful I am to know them and wishing them God's blessings as we celebrate the birth of Jesus and begin a New Year. I don't *think* those that are less religious could be offended by that. ?! May be I'm naive. I have never sent a Christmas greeting that did not emphasize the true meaning but it is "generic" enough that non-Catholic Christians shouldn't be offended.



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Posted: Dec 01 2009 at 3:31pm | IP Logged Quote insegnante

Lindsay, I really like your card! Thanks for posting it.

I guess this is just one example of a situation where striking the right balance is so hard for me. I of course don't want to be doing things just because of "what other people will think," but I also don't want to end up being prideful and/or imprudent about the way that we do things and interact with and especially express our faith to other people.

If someone is going to react negatively to something our faith actually requires of us, we will still do it, because our faith requires it of us. But I'm not sure how much attempt at promoting or preserving others' comfort in matters that are not obligatory is just the right amount.

ETA: Oh, and obviously, our Christmas greeting and everything else we do to express our faith is going to be received in context. That should concern me more than anything here. If people already know others are religious, how their card is received may have a lot to do with whether they already think those people are holier-than-thou hypocrites or not. And if it's received negatively, it may have more to do with how the religious people act when they're not sending cards with religious messages, or it may have to do with something pre-existing inside the recipient, or a bit of both.

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Posted: Dec 01 2009 at 3:47pm | IP Logged Quote folklaur

insegnante wrote:

I guess this is just one example of a situation where striking the right balance is so hard for me. I of course don't want to be doing things just because of "what other people will think," but I also don't want to end up being prideful and/or imprudent about the way that we do things and interact with and especially express our faith to other people.

If someone is going to react negatively to something our faith actually requires of us, we will still do it, because our faith requires it of us. But I'm not sure how much attempt at promoting or preserving others' comfort in matters that are not obligatory is just the right amount.


it is sometimes hard to strike a balance.

one thing i guess i wonder - WHY are you sending cards - what is your motivation?

is to to connect with loved ones, and let them know you are thinking of them? send to everyone, and don't stress!

is to to "make a point"? maybe this is not the nicest or most effective way to do it, kwim? (not saying you are doing that!!!)

the reality is that this time of year actually does incorporate many festivals and celebrations for many different faiths, and our country is a melting pot of beliefs.
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Posted: Dec 01 2009 at 3:59pm | IP Logged Quote Bookswithtea

Wow, Lindsay, that's really beautiful. Tasteful and reverent. I love it! I had no idea the options they offer could be altered/personalized like that.

I am embarrassed to admit that I have had a bad year or two where I only sent the signed card.

Other years we've done photo collages with captions/tidbits of our year printed out in color on paper. When we do this, I always put them inside a traditional Christmas card. It feels less Christmassy to me to send it in a business envelope.

I never even once thought about the implications of sending a photo instead of a nativity or madonna and child scene. Learn something new every day!

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Posted: Dec 01 2009 at 4:11pm | IP Logged Quote CrunchyMom

Thanks, Books. Funny thing, the first time I posted, I wrote your name instead of Theresa somehow thinking it was you who had posted the original question!

Well, it was last year I used the stock one and just uploaded a holy card (it worked out well, though!). This one, I made from scratch starting with the holy card for inspiration and saved it as an image the size of their cards and uploaded it to the blank one which was just the whole picture/image being the card rather than an image uploaded to a provided pretty background. I decided I really wanted a holy message on the card and not just a picture. Plus, I hated the pressure of getting good shots of everyone in a single or just a couple of pictures!

Wouldn't that be a good business? Selling Catholic photo Christmas card templates?

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Posted: Dec 01 2009 at 4:43pm | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

Bookswithtea wrote:
I am embarrassed to admit that I have had a bad year or two where I only sent the signed card


Don't be Books.. it can mean more than you think. There were years growing up that the only contact my sister and I had with out bio-father's family was a signed Christmas card. But it means you're remembered.. and that is a big thing.

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