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MarilynW
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| Posted: Nov 09 2009 at 3:37pm | IP Logged
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Here is a funny to make you laugh - I was discussing this thread with my dd and she mentioned the Yiddish folktale - It Could Always Be Worse 
Here is a quick summary
Once upon a time a poor unfortunate man lived with his mother, his wife, and his six children in a one-room hut. Because they were so crowded, the children often fought and the man and his wife argued. When the poor man was unable to stand it any longer, he ran to the Rabbi for help. As he follows the Rabbi's unlikely advice, the poor man's life goes from bad to worse, with increasingly uproarious results. In his little hut, silly calamity follows foolish catastrophe,.... [close]
I am off to listen to it again on my Jim Weiss cd..
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Marilyn
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JodieLyn
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Oh I've heard that one Marilyn
How do you decide where you can put shelves without feeling like you're being buried alive by all the stuff looming over you?
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Erin
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SusanJ wrote:
| I have a question about how square footage is measured. We have never owned so we don't ever have access to the "official" docs on our properties. Is it the outside footprint of the house that is measured or the sum of each room? Are hallways included? Closets? Basements? Attics? Does it just depend? This is so helpful to read everything here and we are looking to buy in 2-5 years but we have no idea what "square footage" is referring to. |
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Susan
Good question, I'm assuming the outside footprint at least that's how I worked it. For example our house is roughly 8 metres by roughly 11 metres which I round up to 90square metres. Converting to American measurements it is 969 square feet. And yes somehow we fit 10 people in here. My friend is currently living in a cabin a third the size of mine with a family of 8. So I always console myself with thinking on rainy days that at least I live in a bigger house. And thank goodness we don't have snow!
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Erin
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aussieannie
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Thank you ladies, I'm over half way through the posts and there is so much inspiration ~ on a practical level, but also for me to address my discontent as well.
Marilyn my husband also reminds me that in other poorer countries they live in conditions that would make them think that our small home is a mansion! And I said to him, "but they all live that way, they don't feel different!!!" oh, did you here what I just said?
I think I DO feel the pressures put upon us about family size and house size, the comments that people make. Funny though, no one ever says to the family that have a super big house, 'what? only two children, are you going to fill it with more children?' it's always the other way around 
I'm being greatly inspired and I feel that this thread is helping me work through thoughts and attitudes that have been with me for a long time, even though I only openly express it under pressure. That is the other thing though, how does my discontent make my husband feel? I have a lot to work on. I really thank those who also shared spiritual advice and quotes, I've got to work on the house physically, to make it work for us, to the maximum. I need to work on my emotional reactions, it's effect on me and on those around me. Ultimately I need to work on my spiritual life in this area, from this, all things stem.
I will be back again!
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MarilynW
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aussieannie wrote:
Marilyn my husband also reminds me that in other poorer countries they live in conditions that would make them think that our small home is a mansion! And I said to him, "but they all live that way, they don't feel different!!!" oh, did you here what I just said?
I think I DO feel the pressures put upon us about family size and house size, the comments that people make. Funny though, no one ever says to the family that have a super big house, 'what? only two children, are you going to fill it with more children?' it's always the other way around
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Dear Anne
I love your honesty and I think you are exactly right to say that it is a spiritual thing. You see my dh is very contented and peaceful - even if we had the resources I think he would be very happy where we are. I am contented - though I still dream sometimes about the bigger spaces or gripe each time I have to do a seasonal changeover or declutter. 
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joann10
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aussieannie wrote:
That is the other thing though, how does my discontent make my husband feel?
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I have stayed out of this conversation, mainly because of my husband's feelings. We are content and just work day to day to live in our 900 or so square foot home with 11 people. I don't complain and we are happy to, not just "make do", but "make do" happily. Last year or so this conversation came up and a lot of folks wanted to know how we could "do it".. We received a lot of negative feedback, resulting in bad feelings about the situation we were in. I took it to my husband and he wanted me to stop discussing our house size---we are happy, the kids are happy, they are thriving and that's all that matters.
In the practical aspect, there is nothing to really do, but "make do" with what we have and thank our Lord and ask him to make us content and give us the peace we need in each of our own circumstances.
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melanie
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Joann, I was reading that old thread (I guess it's the same one, maybe not!), and your blog post. I'm so sorry you got negative feedback. I showed your post to my kids and we loved it, and I was looking for more in the "series". 
Honestly, almost everyone we know here (at least know well enough to have been to their house) either has a much larger house than we do or a much smaller family. Many have very large houses *and* much smaller families, . There are a lot of very wealthy people in our area, and it's very easy for me to feel like we don't have "enough",,,though we really do. These posts have all been very motivating for me!
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homeschooling Maria (13yo), Kain (10yo), Jack (5yo), Tess (2yo), and our newest blessing, Henry Robert, born 4/23!
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aussieannie
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Joann, thank you for your words, you are ALWAYS an inspiration to me, I know the size of your house, I know you struggle with past health issues and yet I see such a beautiful, vibrant and creative family FULL of love for each other at 10 Kids and a Dog.
You are an example of contentment and inspiration under difficult circumstances ~ it's what saints are made of. But more than that, your house is one that is to be envied, I have pointed out to my children the images of your older children showing such affection for each other. At the end of the day, I want a loving family by my deathbed, where all the children still love each other and their faith, the size of the home? I won't be thinking about that then, at the most important moment of my life...it's love that counts, and only that.
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amyable
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I am sorry that you have gotten negative feedback too, Joann. If you would like me to edit my post earlier in this thread where I linked to a few past threads (including yours) I would be happy to.
But I must say these threads help me so much - because I *don't* know anyone else in our situation locally (larger family/smaller home) and I say to myself daily "I can't do this!" because my mind isn't working and I don't know how to fit three girls' clothes into one small closet even with organizers, for example (maybe a bad example but you know what I mean). So at least for me, I don't mean "how do you do it" in a bad/condescending way, but in a HELP ME way! 
aussieannie wrote:
| Marilyn my husband also reminds me that in other poorer countries they live in conditions that would make them think that our small home is a mansion! And I said to him, "but they all live that way, they don't feel different!!!" oh, did you here what I just said? |
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I'm very guilty of saying the same thing, if not outloud, then to myself, and often! I think part of it stems from what I stated above. I need examples to live by, and I don't know how to *do* this without help. There's also the camaraderie (sp?) aspect - it IS harder to go through things alone than with someone who is there to commiserate with things are not easy. I don't mean it's OK to wallow in your self-pity, LOL, but to just have someone go "Yeah, I understand, I had a hard day yesterday too because of that, let me help you shake off that feeling!" is so nice.
I do want to ask something though. Is the way the third world lives something to be sought for Catholic families? (I'm not asking this to be a pain, I really am wondering). I understand the poor are blessed, but is it wrong to have rooms for my children? Should we be selling our smallish house and moving to an even smaller place to give that money away? Or are our families something to be generous with (within reason, of course). This are questions that plague me in the middle of the night! 
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aussieannie
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It has intrigued me to know what size my home was, as we work in metres not feet. I've just done the calculating:
At present it is 1107 sq feet. We have a garage attached to our home that when we bought it, was built in with a sliding glass door where a roller door would normal be, but it is not plastered. So it is one of our next big projects, if we plaster in it will become a rumpus room for schooling/books, children's toys and a sleepout for our oldest son, once we finish that our house will be 1431! 
I just pray we can get underway with this soon..
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Erin
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amyable wrote:
| I do want to ask something though. Is the way the third world lives something to be sought for Catholic families? (I'm not asking this to be a pain, I really am wondering). I understand the poor are blessed, but is it wrong to have rooms for my children? Should we be selling our smallish house and moving to an even smaller place to give that money away? Or are our families something to be generous with (within reason, of course). This are questions that plague me in the middle of the night! |
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Amy
Please sleep easy, there is nothing wrong with having rooms for your children, there is nothing wrong with having a huge house or small. It's all about blooming where we are planted.
MarilynW wrote:
| One more quote before I go to bed - I have it on my nightstand - here is the paraphrase of what Mother Teresa said "whether you are living in a palace or a hovel, you are where God wants you to be" |
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This says it all so well.
Its true we don't live in a third world country, we are called to bloom in the nations we live in. I've just reserved the books Lindsey talks about in her post. I think they will contain wonderful ideas of looking 'outside the box'.
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SusanJ
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amyable wrote:
| Should we be selling our smallish house and moving to an even smaller place to give that money away? |
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And anyway, Amy, I think you'd lose all your "profit" in taxes if you traded down so you'd have nothing to donate anyway.
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KauaiCatholic
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if it helps to put those third-world concerns at rest, just pretend you live in Hawaii.  land prices are so exorbitant here, yet very large extended families in one "regular-sized" home are extremely common. we're talking 2 or 3 families with children, plus grandparents and assorted unmarried aunts and uncles in basic 3-bedroom houses. (granted, there are cultural differences that may help that, but still.) of course, there are some amazing McMansions as well, but that's a whole 'nother socioeconomic world from us, so we ignore them for our peace of mind.
as for us, we are grateful for our 2-bedroom, 1,000 sf home. there are only 4 of us (5th on the way, which is why I started reading this thread for new ideas), although my folks spend 2 or more months a year with us. what makes it work for us is using the smaller bedroom as a BEDroom: the kids are in bunkbeds against one wall, the new baby will join DH and I in the king bed. the larger bedroom is the keiki (Hawaiian for children) room (ie: all their toys in wall-to-wall shelves), office (computer at the end of large school desk), and spare room (a futon doubles as a reading place for school as well as a guest bed ... oh, and as the private masterbed annex, as my DH calls it.  )
there are no basements here, but we cut a hole into the ceiling and created an attic of sorts for long-term storage. we also use airtight storage bins in the carport and use the covered lanai for a year-round craft area.
thanks for all the great ideas, and prayers for those of you in close comfort! 
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We can do no great things; only small things with great love. -- Blessed Teresa of Calcutta
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melanie
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"(a futon doubles as a reading place for school as well as a guest bed ... oh, and as the private masterbed annex, as my DH calls it."
This is so funny...
We have one of these futons in our playroom as well!
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SusanJ
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melanie wrote:
"(a futon doubles as a reading place for school as well as a guest bed ... oh, and as the private masterbed annex, as my DH calls it."
This is so funny...
We have one of these futons in our playroom as well! |
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Hmm. Same phenomenon here. Futons: best kept secret of the Not So Big House.
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kingvozzo
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We're actually in the middle of a huge bedroom reorganization. DH and I are taking a smaller room and putting the 3 boys in our larger room. There is a small room( a bit less than 10x10, I'd say) that has been converted into a GIANT closet with rods and shelves. We're putting our (only) daughter in there, as soon as we get the shelves down, holes patched and walls painted. We're purging like crazy, and we've also blocked off a small place in what will be the boys room and have made it a large closet, with 2 rods about 5-6ft long each.
All this to get....a PLAYROOM! One of the biggest things I miss from our larger home (we're currenly in about 1600 sq. ft) is a playroom. ALL the toys were kept there, so the mess was confined. It drives me batty to go into both kids' rooms and see toys scattered everywhere. I can't wait. This is a huge project, but I think it will have huge dividends in terms of my sanity and peace of mind.
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Noreen
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: How do big families live in small homes?
