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Subject Topic: What do you call your MIL and FIL? Post ReplyPost New Topic
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Michaela
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Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 8:38am | IP Logged Quote Michaela

mathmama wrote:
And to confuse the issue more, they sign their birthday cards to me in all different ways, nothing consistent, so I can't even get a clue from that


   My MIL does the same thing!

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Nique
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Posted: Oct 29 2009 at 12:38am | IP Logged Quote Nique

My Mom told me she'd be jealous if I ever called my MIL "Mom". My Dad never said a word. So I call my MIL/FIL by their first names. Always felt awkward, but then my DH calls my parents by their first names and thinks nothing of it.
I'm remembering back when I worked for a Dentist and this same topic came up. He said his wife never called his parents ANYTHING! "What happens when she needs to say something to them?" I asked. "She just waits for them to turn around", he replied.

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Michaela
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Posted: Oct 29 2009 at 10:36pm | IP Logged Quote Michaela

Nique wrote:
My Mom told me she'd be jealous if I ever called my MIL "Mom".


There are some questions...

how does/would everyone's parents feel about you calling your in-laws mom and dad?    I guess my mom wouldn't have room to say anything negative since she called her MIL (dad's mom) Mom when they talked on the phone. It always seemed wierd to me though.   

how would you feel if your child called their in-laws mom and dad?....especially when you're around.

We are so far from it that I can't imagine, but I don't think I'd enjoy answering my child when s/he calls out "Mom...." only to find out my dd or ds weren't talking to me.    



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SuzanneG
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Posted: Oct 29 2009 at 11:31pm | IP Logged Quote SuzanneG

I say Oma and Opa when the kids are around, which is most of the time . When I'm alone with them, I call them by their first names.

Dh calls my mom and dad by their first names.

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Posted: Oct 30 2009 at 10:02am | IP Logged Quote DominaCaeli

Michaela wrote:
how does/would everyone's parents feel about you calling your in-laws mom and dad?    I guess my mom wouldn't have room to say anything negative since she called her MIL (dad's mom) Mom when they talked on the phone. It always seemed wierd to me though.


My parents don't seem to mind my calling my ILs Mom and Dad. I told them that I was going to, just as my hubby asked them if it would be okay if he called them that, and I told them why we thought it was appropriate. They agreed that it was very nice to accept--at least in name--one's spouse's family as one's own.

But I just wanted to say that my parents' feelings on the matter wouldn't have affected my decision really. I hope that doesn't sound mean--I love them both very dearly! But I consider this one of many decisions made by the couple, within the marriage, and I don't consult my parents about those kinds of matters unless it directly concerns them (for example, we asked if *they* minded being called Mom and Dad by my husband, but not if *I* could call my ILs that--does that make sense?).

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JodieLyn
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Posted: Oct 30 2009 at 11:03am | IP Logged Quote JodieLyn

I would hope if my children have the type of relationship that they'd call their ILs by mom and dad that I would be happy for them to have a good relationship with them rather than upset over the names.

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stacykay
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Posted: Nov 04 2009 at 10:04pm | IP Logged Quote stacykay

I call my mil, "Mom." My fil, whom I did call "Dad," passed away 9 years ago. Dh called my parents "Mom" and "Dad."

We have been married for 24 1/2 years now, and I get along with my mil great.    But back when we were first married, I doubted we would ever be close. My il's objected to our marriage, and the night before the wedding, they were packing to leave in the morning for a trip! Dh had to beg them to come.     The objections were due to our age (dh24 and me22,) and the fact that I was not "born" Catholic, but was a convert.

I was not treated well for many years, but I worked quite hard to be a "daughter." It has worked out. I can now call my mil "mom" without blinking , but I will say, it took probably 10-15 years for it to feel somewhat natural.

My mom, I called "Mum." I don't think she was thrilled I called my mil "mom," but she also knew that I was just trying to help dh in his relationship with his parents.

Now, with 6dss, I think a lot! about how my il's were to me. I pray that I can do a better job with any future dil's, as I have noticed, in many families, the dils really are the key to future relationships with dss.

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mathmama
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Posted: Dec 28 2009 at 10:14am | IP Logged Quote mathmama

I had to bring this thread back because I just got a big laugh from my birthday card from my in laws. They each signed it. It was signed: Love, Father-in-law
                            Love, Margaret

Sheesh, I will never know what to call them. On the plus side, it gave me a nice laugh

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CrunchyMom
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Posted: Dec 28 2009 at 10:19am | IP Logged Quote CrunchyMom



Were they being funny? On purpose?

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SuzanneG
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Posted: Dec 28 2009 at 10:20am | IP Logged Quote SuzanneG

mathmama wrote:
   It was signed: Love, Father-in-law
                               Love, Margaret

Sheesh, I will never know what to call them. On the plus side, it gave me a nice laugh


This is SO FUNNY, Michaela! Just throw up your hands and try to not ever have to address them!

Why is this SO FUNNY?????!!!!!!

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CrunchyMom
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Posted: Dec 28 2009 at 10:30am | IP Logged Quote CrunchyMom

SuzanneG wrote:
mathmama wrote:
   It was signed: Love, Father-in-law
                                 Love, Margaret

Sheesh, I will never know what to call them. On the plus side, it gave me a nice laugh


This is SO FUNNY, Michaela! Just throw up your hands and try to not ever have to address them!

Why is this SO FUNNY?????!!!!!!


IDk, but I haven't laughed so hard in front of the computer in a long time!

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mathmama
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Posted: Dec 28 2009 at 11:24am | IP Logged Quote mathmama

No, they are not trying to be funny, this is just how they are. If this was their sense of humor I would feel comfortable asking them what they want me to call them. Alas, that is not the case, but I do appreciate this laugh that I get once a year I don't know if I said this earlier in the thread, but when I know a couple is about to marry I always offer this advice "please find out now what you are to call your in laws, don't wait until after you are married" I say it with as much seriousness as I can muster...it is a topic close to my heart

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Gloria JMJ
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Posted: Dec 29 2009 at 2:02am | IP Logged Quote Gloria JMJ

My dh (the youngest of 9) has called his mother 'Granny' since befor we were married (I think its a spin off of the beverly hillbillys)so that's what the kids and I call her .

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