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Michaela Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 25 2005 Location: Washington
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Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 8:38am | IP Logged
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mathmama wrote:
And to confuse the issue more, they sign their birthday cards to me in all different ways, nothing consistent, so I can't even get a clue from that |
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My MIL does the same thing!
__________________ Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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Nique Forum All-Star
Joined: March 07 2008 Location: Canada
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Posted: Oct 29 2009 at 12:38am | IP Logged
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My Mom told me she'd be jealous if I ever called my MIL "Mom". My Dad never said a word. So I call my MIL/FIL by their first names. Always felt awkward, but then my DH calls my parents by their first names and thinks nothing of it.
I'm remembering back when I worked for a Dentist and this same topic came up. He said his wife never called his parents ANYTHING! "What happens when she needs to say something to them?" I asked. "She just waits for them to turn around", he replied.
__________________ I had always thought that once you grew up you could do anything you wanted - stay up all night or eat ice cream straight out of the container. ~Bill Bryson
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Michaela Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 25 2005 Location: Washington
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Posted: Oct 29 2009 at 10:36pm | IP Logged
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Nique wrote:
My Mom told me she'd be jealous if I ever called my MIL "Mom". |
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There are some questions...
how does/would everyone's parents feel about you calling your in-laws mom and dad? I guess my mom wouldn't have room to say anything negative since she called her MIL (dad's mom) Mom when they talked on the phone. It always seemed wierd to me though.
how would you feel if your child called their in-laws mom and dad?....especially when you're around.
We are so far from it that I can't imagine, but I don't think I'd enjoy answering my child when s/he calls out "Mom...." only to find out my dd or ds weren't talking to me.
__________________ Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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SuzanneG Forum Moderator
Joined: June 17 2006 Location: Idaho
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Posted: Oct 29 2009 at 11:31pm | IP Logged
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I say Oma and Opa when the kids are around, which is most of the time . When I'm alone with them, I call them by their first names.
Dh calls my mom and dad by their first names.
__________________ Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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DominaCaeli Forum All-Star
Joined: April 24 2007
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Posted: Oct 30 2009 at 10:02am | IP Logged
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Michaela wrote:
how does/would everyone's parents feel about you calling your in-laws mom and dad? I guess my mom wouldn't have room to say anything negative since she called her MIL (dad's mom) Mom when they talked on the phone. It always seemed wierd to me though. |
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My parents don't seem to mind my calling my ILs Mom and Dad. I told them that I was going to, just as my hubby asked them if it would be okay if he called them that, and I told them why we thought it was appropriate. They agreed that it was very nice to accept--at least in name--one's spouse's family as one's own.
But I just wanted to say that my parents' feelings on the matter wouldn't have affected my decision really. I hope that doesn't sound mean--I love them both very dearly! But I consider this one of many decisions made by the couple, within the marriage, and I don't consult my parents about those kinds of matters unless it directly concerns them (for example, we asked if *they* minded being called Mom and Dad by my husband, but not if *I* could call my ILs that--does that make sense?).
__________________ Blessings,
Celeste
Joyous Lessons
Mommy to six: three boys (8, 4, newborn) and four girls (7, 5, 2, and 1)
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JodieLyn Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 06 2006 Location: Oregon
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Posted: Oct 30 2009 at 11:03am | IP Logged
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I would hope if my children have the type of relationship that they'd call their ILs by mom and dad that I would be happy for them to have a good relationship with them rather than upset over the names.
__________________ Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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stacykay Forum All-Star
Joined: April 08 2006 Location: Michigan
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Posted: Nov 04 2009 at 10:04pm | IP Logged
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I call my mil, "Mom." My fil, whom I did call "Dad," passed away 9 years ago. Dh called my parents "Mom" and "Dad."
We have been married for 24 1/2 years now, and I get along with my mil great. But back when we were first married, I doubted we would ever be close. My il's objected to our marriage, and the night before the wedding, they were packing to leave in the morning for a trip! Dh had to beg them to come. The objections were due to our age (dh24 and me22,) and the fact that I was not "born" Catholic, but was a convert.
I was not treated well for many years, but I worked quite hard to be a "daughter." It has worked out. I can now call my mil "mom" without blinking , but I will say, it took probably 10-15 years for it to feel somewhat natural.
My mom, I called "Mum." I don't think she was thrilled I called my mil "mom," but she also knew that I was just trying to help dh in his relationship with his parents.
Now, with 6dss, I think a lot! about how my il's were to me. I pray that I can do a better job with any future dil's, as I have noticed, in many families, the dils really are the key to future relationships with dss.
God Bless,
Stacy in MI
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mathmama Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 07 2006 Location: Pennsylvania
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Posted: Dec 28 2009 at 10:14am | IP Logged
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I had to bring this thread back because I just got a big laugh from my birthday card from my in laws. They each signed it. It was signed: Love, Father-in-law
Love, Margaret
Sheesh, I will never know what to call them. On the plus side, it gave me a nice laugh
__________________ Beth, wife to Tom and mommy to 4 beautiful girls:
Therese 11/04
Anna Mary 6/07
Veronica 10/09
Theodora 11/12
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CrunchyMom Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 03 2007
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Posted: Dec 28 2009 at 10:19am | IP Logged
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Were they being funny? On purpose?
__________________ Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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SuzanneG Forum Moderator
Joined: June 17 2006 Location: Idaho
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Posted: Dec 28 2009 at 10:20am | IP Logged
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mathmama wrote:
It was signed: Love, Father-in-law
Love, Margaret
Sheesh, I will never know what to call them. On the plus side, it gave me a nice laugh |
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This is SO FUNNY, Michaela! Just throw up your hands and try to not ever have to address them!
Why is this SO FUNNY?????!!!!!!
__________________ Suzanne in ID
Wife to Pete
Mom of 7 (Girls - 14, 12, 11, 9, 7 and Boys - 4, 1)
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CrunchyMom Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 03 2007
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Posted: Dec 28 2009 at 10:30am | IP Logged
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SuzanneG wrote:
mathmama wrote:
It was signed: Love, Father-in-law
Love, Margaret
Sheesh, I will never know what to call them. On the plus side, it gave me a nice laugh |
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This is SO FUNNY, Michaela! Just throw up your hands and try to not ever have to address them!
Why is this SO FUNNY?????!!!!!! |
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IDk, but I haven't laughed so hard in front of the computer in a long time!
__________________ Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
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mathmama Forum All-Star
Joined: Jan 07 2006 Location: Pennsylvania
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Posted: Dec 28 2009 at 11:24am | IP Logged
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No, they are not trying to be funny, this is just how they are. If this was their sense of humor I would feel comfortable asking them what they want me to call them. Alas, that is not the case, but I do appreciate this laugh that I get once a year I don't know if I said this earlier in the thread, but when I know a couple is about to marry I always offer this advice "please find out now what you are to call your in laws, don't wait until after you are married" I say it with as much seriousness as I can muster...it is a topic close to my heart
__________________ Beth, wife to Tom and mommy to 4 beautiful girls:
Therese 11/04
Anna Mary 6/07
Veronica 10/09
Theodora 11/12
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Gloria JMJ Forum All-Star
Joined: Sept 07 2008
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Posted: Dec 29 2009 at 2:02am | IP Logged
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My dh (the youngest of 9) has called his mother 'Granny' since befor we were married (I think its a spin off of the beverly hillbillys)so that's what the kids and I call her .
__________________ Smoothing Stones Holy Family Rosaries
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