Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Subject Topic: How old were you when you got married? Post ReplyPost New Topic
Poll Question: What age did you get married?
Poll Choice Votes Poll Statistics
29 [25.44%]
12 [10.53%]
45 [39.47%]
23 [20.18%]
5 [4.39%]
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LucyP
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Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 7:00am | IP Logged Quote LucyP

We were both 20. Lots of Christians I know, if they had met "the one", did marry young - because of the chastity situation.
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Lisbet
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Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 9:38am | IP Logged Quote Lisbet

Oh Mary Theresa, I used to get so much of that too, even worse about never having went to college. I had our 5th at 26 :)

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Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 10:15am | IP Logged Quote Ruth

I was 19, he was 20 We just celebrated our 21st wedding anniversary last week.

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Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 3:35pm | IP Logged Quote Stephanie_Q

guitarnan wrote:
23, but DH was 21.


Us too!

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SusanJ
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Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 4:20pm | IP Logged Quote SusanJ

In my circles the faithful Catholics tend to get married/have gotten married quite young and the more secular types typically wait. It doesn't seem that mysterious to me. If you value marriage and see being a wife and mother as a vocation by itself and believe what the Church teaches about se*ual morality and the right guy is there--why not get married.

Am I wrong, here? I am not at all surprised at the young marriages here on the Forum.

(We were 23 and 25, by the way)

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Lisbet
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Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 4:44pm | IP Logged Quote Lisbet

Well Susan, that's one theory - the other being some may have just had 'shotgun' weddings!

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Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
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Sam, 9
Henry, 7
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Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
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MelissaClaire
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Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 5:05pm | IP Logged Quote MelissaClaire

I had just turned 24 and he had just turned 26.

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stefoodie
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Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 5:08pm | IP Logged Quote stefoodie

SusanJ wrote:
In my circles the faithful Catholics tend to get married/have gotten married quite young and the more secular types typically wait. It doesn't seem that mysterious to me. If you value marriage and see being a wife and mother as a vocation by itself and believe what the Church teaches about se*ual morality and the right guy is there--why not get married.

Am I wrong, here? I am not at all surprised at the young marriages here on the Forum.

(We were 23 and 25, by the way)


no, you're right. it's in *my IRL circles* where young marriages aren't the norm. i don't have many IRL friends who got married young -- most waited until at least late 20's, some even up to late 30's to get married. i *love* having found many like-minded women here who also married young. one more reason i feel a sense of belonging here.

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ekbell
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Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 5:30pm | IP Logged Quote ekbell

It doesn't seem particularly mysterious to me.

Many of the people I knew were 'living together' with someone at about the same age my hubby and I did.

The only major difference was that we got married before moving in with each other! (and stayed with each other)

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Anneof 5
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Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 6:34pm | IP Logged Quote Anneof 5

I consider myself and dh to be "faithful Catholics" and we were 28 and 33 when we got married. It has no reflection on our fidelity to Church teaching or our morality. We would have loved to have found each other earlier, but it happened in God's timing, not our own.
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Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 6:55pm | IP Logged Quote lambchopwife

I was 18 the first time and had just turned 19 the second. I married the same guy twice. We eloped the first time in San Diego and then had our church wedding after his deployment. He was 21 for the first and 22 for the second. I think it's been a bumpy ride but it's been fun too. It's nice when you can "grow up together". I still get excited every night when he comes home from work, of course it could be the whole uniform thing! Nah, it's just I love him like crazy!!! Good poll!!!!!

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SusanMc
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Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 7:34pm | IP Logged Quote SusanMc

stefoodie wrote:


no, you're right. it's in *my IRL circles* where young marriages aren't the norm. i don't have many IRL friends who got married young -- most waited until at least late 20's, some even up to late 30's to get married. i *love* having found many like-minded women here who also married young. one more reason i feel a sense of belonging here.


I'm happy for you, really I am. With the rest of the culture so anti-young marriage I'm glad y'all are finally getting some validation.

But this thread is making me feel the opposite of a sense of belonging here. Because I came from a non-traditional family, I have a "blended" family myself, and it is a relatively small family at that. I often feel this way in faithful Catholic circles. I'm struggling not to covet your ability to have lots of kids, no co-parenting struggles, and double digit anniversaries!

But then again, if I had married young I probably wouldn't have the fabulous, faith-filled husband that I'm so blessed to have.
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stefoodie
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Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 7:43pm | IP Logged Quote stefoodie

SusanMc wrote:
I'm happy for you, really I am. With the rest of the culture so anti-young marriage I'm glad y'all are finally getting some validation.

But this thread is making me feel the opposite of a sense of belonging here. Because I came from a non-traditional family, I have a "blended" family myself, and it is a relatively small family at that. I often feel this way in faithful Catholic circles. I'm struggling not to covet your ability to have lots of kids, no co-parenting struggles, and double digit anniversaries!

But then again, if I had married young I probably wouldn't have the fabulous, faith-filled husband that I'm so blessed to have.


Oh, Susan, I am so, so, so sorry. I didn't mean to be insensitive. Please forgive me.

Did want to point out -- "no co-parenting struggles" -- not us!   

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Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 8:15pm | IP Logged Quote RamFam

SusanMc wrote:
I'm happy for you, really I am. With the rest of the culture so anti-young marriage I'm glad y'all are finally getting some validation.

But this thread is making me feel the opposite of a sense of belonging here. Because I came from a non-traditional family, I have a "blended" family myself, and it is a relatively small family at that. I often feel this way in faithful Catholic circles. I'm struggling not to covet your ability to have lots of kids, no co-parenting struggles, and double digit anniversaries!

But then again, if I had married young I probably wouldn't have the fabulous, faith-filled husband that I'm so blessed to have.


I know what you mean. I had my daughter at 16, a shotgun wedding, 6 months later a 'divorce' and found my dh a few years later. I am now 25 with two stepsons only 3 and four years younger than me, my daughter and our four boys which we've had in five years. Not conventional. Not what I would have planned. Plenty of struggles. But I thank God everyday for my husband, kiddos and my new found Catholic Faith!
I think you will find some less conventional marriages on here, too. We are so blessed to have this group of friends, aren't we?

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Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 8:22pm | IP Logged Quote Mackfam

SusanMc wrote:

But this thread is making me feel the opposite of a sense of belonging here. Because I came from a non-traditional family, I have a "blended" family myself, and it is a relatively small family at that. I often feel this way in faithful Catholic circles. I'm struggling not to covet your ability to have lots of kids, no co-parenting struggles, and double digit anniversaries!


Please don't feel this way, Susan. I think one of the greatest blessings of this board is that there are a variety of *right answers* that are embraced. Sometimes, when a group of people finds like-mindedness it's hard not to let out a collective exhale. It's tough being counter-cultural!!!!! There are a few members on this thread that married at a later age - so you're not alone! God's timing is always perfect! Enough said there!

No looking around and comparing, ok? Live out the beauty in the gifts God has granted you! It sounds like you have an amazing husband! Go give him a smooch!



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Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 8:32pm | IP Logged Quote ekbell

SusanMc wrote:



But this thread is making me feel the opposite of a sense of belonging here. Because I came from a non-traditional family, I have a "blended" family myself, and it is a relatively small family at that. I often feel this way in faithful Catholic circles. I'm struggling not to covet your ability to have lots of kids, no co-parenting struggles, and double digit anniversaries!

But then again, if I had married young I probably wouldn't have the fabulous, faith-filled husband that I'm so blessed to have.


May you have as many aniversaries and as much good fortune in your family life as my mother's parents!

They celebrated their 50th wedding aniversary this year at ages 89 (my Mom's mom) and 85 (my Mom's stepdad/adoptive father).

My Oma was a widow so they also had a blended family (three from her first marriage) and they were immigrants making a new home far from extended family.

Twenty odd grandchildren and a dozen or so great-grandchildren later, they are still living independently but are now surrounded by extended family
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Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 8:45pm | IP Logged Quote SusanMc

Thanks for the kind words, all. They really lifted me up out of my poor-me-I-don't-compare pity party! Just a brief lapse into an old bad habit, I'm afraid. Sorry for the hijack.
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Posted: Oct 28 2009 at 8:46pm | IP Logged Quote margot helene

Anneof 5 wrote:
I consider myself and dh to be "faithful Catholics" and we were 28 and 33 when we got married. It has no reflection on our fidelity to Church teaching or our morality. We would have loved to have found each other earlier, but it happened in God's timing, not our own.


Same here . . . God didn't send the right one until the right time. There were several boyfriends along the way that I wanted with all my heart to marry, but it never worked out. I was 33 to the day (wedding day was my birthday). Husband is 8 years younger than I am.
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Posted: Oct 29 2009 at 4:49am | IP Logged Quote Lisbet

Remember too, that even many of us that married young, have many anniversaries under our belts along with many children, come from very diverse backgrounds also. I cannot tell you what a poor example of marriage my parents were, and Tony and I lived together for a year before we were married - Our anniversary is March 4th, Nicholas' birthday is March 27th - of the SAME year!    God works with all of us in different ways! :) I was amazed a few years back when a group of Catholic moms here shared answers to the question "how did you meet your husband?" I always thought everyone else had the 'fairytale' and I was ashamed of our very sinful past.

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Isaac, 11
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Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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Posted: Oct 29 2009 at 6:03am | IP Logged Quote SusanJ

I just turned my computer on before breakfast because I suddenly panicked last night that my choice of wording was poor above.

I certainly did not mean to suggest that a later marriage would be reason to questions your fidelity to the Church or that all 19-year olds getting married were model Christians or Catholics at the time of their wedding. I only meant to point out that the makeup of the board right now is women devoted to the teachings of the Church and that this usually leads to earlier marriage rather than living together. I know we all started out different places and that some of us would have gotten married sooner if circumstances had allowed it.

But our statistical sample here is pretty skewed and not really something I could compare to most of the people I know IRL.

My brother and sister were also married "young" by most standards at 22 and 24 (and I was 23). But given that my parents had a shotgun wedding (because of me) and later divorced I am grateful that we all managed to find wonderful spouses.

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