| Author | |
CrunchyMom
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 03 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 6385
|
| Posted: Sept 19 2009 at 9:03am | IP Logged
|
 |
|
I've always wanted to be a homemaker, and none of my old friends are surprised that I am.
However, *I* am not what I envisioned when I started out. My understanding of being a homemaker is SO different than it was.
Yk, I think that is a big difference. I had one of those friends from college on facebook mention her liking that I called myself a "homemaker" instead of a SAHM, and she actually changed her profile. She recognized that was what she wanted to be and that "stay at home mom" didn't fully express it.
Other people are "just" SAHMs and never really see their role in the home as much more than a glorified babysitter. There are so many aspects of our society from the way modern homes and neighborhoods have been planned and designed to the more hot-button political issues like marriage that just make the concept of a home as a "haven" (and all the work that goes into making it such) pretty foreign to people.
Without a real understanding of what a home is and has the potential to be, I think that it would be pretty hard to embrace the life that Cay describes as loving. The world isn't doing families any favors right now; so, unless you recognize that you have to "jealously guard" (have I told you how much I love your use of that phrase, Jennifer?) choice aspects of our home life, the world will seep in and cheat us out of it.
Plus, all the sad things you describe, Cay, are really symptoms of self-love. The ultimate thing that we are being taught throughout the entire story of salvation, culminating at the cross, is to sacrifice self. I have so much self love, but since my natural tastes were never for the sorts of things these ladies went for, I likely will not embrace the sort of life they have. However, I'm sure I am capable of falling into that sin in a much more private way.
I realize you aren't judging them! I'm just reiterating the fact that while there is no accounting for taste (tattoos!? ick! imo), it is possible they never really understood the nature of sacrifice to begin with and thus aren't giving up what you *have*--they are just giving up a caricature of it. Maybe they never really had it to begin with?
__________________
Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Bookswithtea
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 07 2005
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2621
|
| Posted: Sept 19 2009 at 9:14am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I didn't start out wanting to be a homemaker. I was reared in a non religious family and assumed I'd be a school teacher.
It was actually two scripture passages and a sense of vocation (although I didn't know to call it that as a protestant) that led me home.
~But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.
1Tim2:15
and
~So I counsel younger widows to marry, to have children, to manage their homes and to give the enemy no opportunity for slander.
1Tim5:14
In the second, the context is younger widows, but the bigger picture is about women of childbearing age as opposed to older widows.
It was a surprise to me that I enjoy being at home. And really, there is no lack of work here, either. Its certainly not boring, although sometimes tedious. But doesn't every job have some tedium involved?
__________________
Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and  due 9/10
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
stellamaris
Forum All-Star
Joined: Feb 26 2009
Location: Virginia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 2732
|
| Posted: Sept 19 2009 at 3:52pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I wanted to post on this thread a few days ago, but I have to say it is such a sad topic that I needed a little time to compose my thoughts and feelings.  I have seen several families undergo this type of change, sometimes it's the mother and sometimes the father who basically places their own wants/needs above the needs of their family. I agree wholeheartedly with Lindsay that it is a symptom of a failure to embrace the cross and really be willing to "die" to ourselves so we might one day live to the glory of Christ that is at the root of this problem. And I think that Cay also is right on target when she suggests that "domestic satisfaction must be found in the spiritual realm". Imo, it is LOVE of God that must motivate all vocations, including that of a father and mother. Placing love of God first in our lives means we will live in truth and reality (as opposed to the "false" life Lindsay mentions above), because who would try to deceive God if they loved Him? Placing love of God first means we will love doing our duty, not because we love dishes or laundry per se, but because we are serving Him. Placing love of God first means we will see our spouse and children as those precious souls for which our Savior gave His life, and we will be willing to sacrifice ourselves for them. It doesn't mean that we will necessary be SAHM or homeschooling moms, but that we will follow God in His will for our families as best as we can and we will persevere in love.
Having said that, it does happen that there are situations in which the parents must separate for the protection of the children and I also know of cases where the marriage was never valid in the first place. These exceptions, however, should be very few and far between, and today they are way too common.
Most marriages will experience happy and stressful times. If you are in a stressful time, entrust your cares to God and love as much as He gives you strength to love, and in a year or two you will find yourself in a much happier relationship. We are a witness to His faithfulness when we are faithful ourselves.
__________________
In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Cay Gibson
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 16 2005
Location: Louisiana
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5193
|
| Posted: Sept 19 2009 at 4:42pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I appreciate what you and Lindsay wrote, Caroline. So much truth and thought in both your posts.
I have targeted the rivet point of my "sadness." About a month ago we received a wedding invitation from the oldest son of one of these couples. The wedding was today. I knew I would see my friend there. She is the one who left her husband and children. It's a long story and she has reconnected with her children, in a sad kind of way. I realized during the wedding where my feelings of sadness were coming from.
I have so many thoughts and feelings that I can't possibly put them all into words. Families are so broken today...so totally broken.
The first thing the minister (it was a Baptist wedding) said was that people often go into a marriage looking for happiness, thinking that marriage will bring them that happiness. And, he said, marriage isn't about finding that ultimate happiness we're all looking for. Only heaven and unity with Christ will bring us true happiness. Marriage is a responsibility to others. We marry to bring our spouse closer to Christ and it often calls for sacrifice. He also mentioned that Christ instituted the Family before he instituted any church or religion. He said that marriage is where the family begins (of course). And I couldn't help but wonder what was going through my friend's mind.
It's everything we've been talking about here. I know I can't judge others because I pray they turn to Christ and we all meet in heaven one day. Just because they are getting tatoos and partying and abandoning their families doesn't make ME less the sinner or close the gates of heaven for THEM. In essence, God is not finished with them yet, as He is not finished with me yet. There is still time...for both of us.
But the destruction they leave behind for their families is gut-wrenching. I can still go to family weddings and see my mother's aunts and uncles still happily married. And, after all these years, I look at them with awe...knowing there is something valuable and spiritual there. There is stability there, unity, love. My older children no longer remember the Aunt R they knew as young children...the one who babysat them and cared for them like her own. My two younger children don't even know who she is.
And then I worry about my own children. They are getting older and I pray they make right choices in their mates for life. And I hope they understand the beauty and dutifulness of marriage in this day and age they are living in.
I'm going to church now and out to eat with my oldest son and his girlfriend. Have to run.
__________________
Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Sarah
Forum All-Star
Joined: Aug 17 2005
Location: N/A
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1624
|
| Posted: Sept 19 2009 at 7:48pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I am sorry you are sad, Cay. I've had two friends over the years that took bizarre paths.
Sometimes I think if someone isn't firmly grounded in Our Lord, instead of just cutting back on a few stressors they throw out the baby with the bathwater!
I have been sad lately too. Our homeschooling group has completely dissolved until there are so few of us its like a deserted island. Our diocese is so strong people opt for school. When one family jumps ship it appears to be contagious. Its pretty lonely.
I do love this life, though. Yes, I cry, complain, fail at duties, and even long for companionship of other mom's out in the world. I mean, like school moms and parish life type stuff.
But I know this is God's calling right now. The intense loneliness at times makes you want to run away and join the circus. I think its giving into this loneliness and despair that makes a mom actually go through with it! Then add some possible childhood issues that go unresolved and a mom can get herself in trouble pretty fast.
God help us that this never befalls us! The Devil is prowling as a Prince of Light. Watching two very close friends completely fall off the deep end was shocking! Both of them had one thing in common: they came from broken homes themselves. That is such a wound I think that festers.
I love this forum. I really need to hear from you all and hear that you struggle and hear that you choose to try to make God the center of your lives.
__________________
Six boys ages 16, 14, 11, 7, 5, 2 and one girl age 9
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Cay Gibson
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 16 2005
Location: Louisiana
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5193
|
| Posted: Sept 19 2009 at 8:16pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
KackyK wrote:
Anyways, I was sad because all I heard from her on her reasoning was she wasn't "happy" and with this new man, she was happy again. It was all about her happiness. Everyone kept saying to her, well you have to do what makes you happy.
But I kept questioning...what does that mean? What is this "happiness" she wanted? I think happiness is a term that is overused and truly should mean something deeper than what most use it to mean. |
|
|
Kacky,
I was typing fast earlier because my son had just come in and said they were going to 5 PM Mass so we decided to go with them and I had to finish my post, but I realized that the reason the minister's words about marital happiness struck me so poignantly is because you had just written about this subject earlier. I'm receiving all kinds of connections which just reaffirms and recommits me to what I hold near and dear. 
Stephanie_Q wrote:
| This thread caught my attention b/c I've been reading "Holiness for Housewives" and listened to a tape borrowed from my priest by Dia Boyle called "Homemakers, Housework, and Heaven" |
|
|
Stephanie, I was reading slowly through your post just now. Lots of good advice here as well. I'd like to see a copy of this book. Thanks for suggesting it.
Stephanie_Q wrote:
She talks about how the practical aspect of homemaking is perfected by grace: [GRACE PERFECTS NATURE] and emphasizes: We are not called just to be good homemakers, but Christian homemakers.
By bearing each others' burdens as well as helping each other learn to be better homemakers - both in practical and spiritual terms, we help each other embrace the work of homemaking. |
|
|
I thought of this conversation during Mass and supper. I know the boards will be closing for Sunday and hope that by Monday we can discuss how we truly "embrace our domestic self" and, as Stephanie mentioned, "help each other embrace the work of homemaking" so that we can become truly "good (and holy) homemakers."
Have a blessed Sunday.
__________________
Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
molly
Forum Pro
Joined: Jan 09 2009
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 285
|
| Posted: Sept 19 2009 at 8:27pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Cay, I think I know the sadness you are talking about. I see it around me too. I see "busy" moms running every "ministry" known to man, yet too busy to HS or stay with their own children I feel sadness for the children and husbands, no wonder we are so disordered in our culture. I think that is what it is, disorder, women are trying to be men, and men- women. It makes for a very confusing life.
I did want to add, when I think of homemaking and domestic role models, you always come to mind  I do not say that to embarrass you, but to thank you for your example and charity you have shared, not only with your domestic church, but the cyber world. Many thanks to you
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Cay Gibson
Forum All-Star
Joined: July 16 2005
Location: Louisiana
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 5193
|
| Posted: Sept 19 2009 at 8:36pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Cay Gibson wrote:
| I'd like to see a copy of this book. |
|
|
Just put two-and-two together and realized you were talking about a tape and NOT a book.  At any rate, it's a great title.
Molly, you are so precious! Thank you for your words.
__________________
Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Mackfam
Board Moderator
Non Nobis
Joined: April 24 2006
Location: Alabama
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 14656
|
| Posted: Sept 19 2009 at 9:51pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
I'm so late to this conversation, but I've been reading along and pondering the whole while. I have seen the phenomenon to which you refer, Cay, but I haven't lived it with someone who was a close friend. I think my heart would ache more in that case. My heart aches in general because...
John Paul II wrote:
| As the family goes, so goes the world. |
|
|
We are sad because woman, Eve, has once again fallen for the apple. Now this isn't referring to our sisters who must seek employment outside the home to assist the family out of necessity, nor does it refer to the a sister who discerns a need or answers a call to return children to brick and mortar schools. Though we feel those losses because we feel the loss for them, I think we all understand that God calls us individually. The loss that is felt by us most keenly is the loss of femininity, the discarding of the esteemed and dignified vocation of woman. The apple is tempting...though I can't say I'm terribly tempted by the whole tatoo thing.  But you know what I mean...who among us hasn't had **one of those days**????!!!!
How does the apple get into the home? Probably a myriad of ways, and likely different apples for different women. However it is dangled, I think we must be ever on our guard...Lindsay uses my words "jealously guarding" and they fit here quite appropriately. We jealously guard this little garden of Our Lord's in which He has planted us with our family. We fiercely guard our prayer life, our time, our vocations. We are ever watchful against the apple. None of us are immune to temptation. We each, through the Sacrament of Confession, are aware of weak points through which an apple may be presented. Knowing this makes it very easy to avoid judgment. God, in His infinite Wisdom, may draw from the painful experiences of some of these women some great good. I can pray that it may be so.
So we jealously guard, but with joy! How? I think Cay hit the theme very early on:
Cay Gibson wrote:
| Domestic satisfaction must be found in the spiritual realm or it becomes meaningless servitude. Right? Why do we do this? Why do we embrace it? Why do those of us who really don't *like* housecleaning, etc. love this lifestyle so much? |
|
|
We live this vocation with joy because this is how we were created to be...this is how we "become what we are." (John Paul II) So we each express it differently, with different strengths, talents, and weaknesses, but within our unique expressions we faithfully seek to live out this vocation in abundance because it is how God created woman. Twist that, deny the maternal nature of woman, deny her the order to which she was created for, and you have dis-order.
These are my thoughts on the why of it. Embracing this vocation isn't always easy, but it is always rewarding! I do have **those days** but I wouldn't trade this vocation, the joy within these walls, the love I receive and am privileged to return for anything. Here, on this path, on this narrow way, is where I am challenged in holiness. Here is where I will be made a saint. Here, with God's grace, is where I become what I am. May Our Lady assist us in guarding our vocations as she guarded hers through obedience, humility, and service to Our Lord.
__________________
Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
4 lads mom
Forum All-Star
Joined: Sept 26 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1944
|
| Posted: Sept 21 2009 at 7:25am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I always refer back to St. Therese, "My Vocation is Love!!"
That is what this all about....Love....but the world creeps in, the great Deceiver...and twists love to look like something so tempting, so delightful...His lies are the complete opposite of Love.
Whenever I get down about all of this....(I have seen devout families go up in flames as well), I think, "could that happen to me???"
Love...my vocation is love. When I hold up all that I do in the light of love...and if it shines through clearly, then I am on the right path.
God love you all, dear ones.
__________________
Mom of four brave lads and one sweet lassie
Scenes From This and That
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
CrunchyMom
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 03 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 6385
|
| Posted: Sept 21 2009 at 8:37am | IP Logged
|
|
|
4 lads mom wrote:
Whenever I get down about all of this....(I have seen devout families go up in flames as well), I think, "could that happen to me???"
|
|
|
Yes, it could. Which is why we have to beg for grace, ime. Pray for the virtues of diligence and perseverance. Keep praying period. I feel the subtle pull of the world (and less sensitivity to its evils) so much more when I'm not praying as I should.
Practically speaking, I find I MUST make the time to pray and receive the sacraments as often as I can.
Also, the longer we go without praying, confession, etc..., the duller we get and the easier it gets to go without.
In my domestic life, I am trying to tie spiritual things to physical. The most success I have had with this is brushing my teeth and consecrating my day to Mary. I have St. Louis de Montfort's "Prayer for the Spirit of Mary" taped inside my medicine cabinet with a list of the Marian virtues. Each morning, one of the first things I do is brush my teeth and pray that prayer.
Or part of it.
I must admit that sometimes my mind wanders and the prayer can be quite bleary, lol. But, now, I really do strongly associate the act of brushing my teeth with Our Lady. I hope that over the years, I will find more such specific habits for consecrating my work (for, brushing my teeth is something that is important but would often get forgotten in the past).
I need to find a specific prayer for the dishwasher. I HATE unloading the dishwasher. I don't know why, but sometimes it feels heroic to do it
Our pastor often reminds us that being holy just means trying over and over and over again and not giving up when we fall. The virtue of Hope helps me remember that each day is a new opportunity and not give up on it all (which leads me to my pet sin, sloth). I think lack of hope can lead us to sloth and despair which would eventually result in embracing the passing pleasures of the world. As Anne reminds us (at least in the movie, can't recall if its in the books), "Tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it."
I find that in order to embrace my role as a homemaker, I have to look at each day with hope.
__________________
Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Sharyn
Forum Pro
Joined: June 20 2009
Location: Australia
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 417
|
| Posted: Sept 21 2009 at 9:16am | IP Logged
|
|
|
I guess I’m living a fairly sheltered life at this moment. But occasionally I catch a glimpse of what’s going on around us. And it’s horrifying! Truly horrifying to see what is happening now that we have such large-scale abandonment of belief in God.
Now I wasn’t raised with any faith, and was a strong atheist in my young adulthood, so it’s not that I’m not well versed in the thoughts of ‘the world’, but that since I have become a Catholic I see them from their true perspective, and when I think about how people are fooled into believing that this life is all about pleasing ourselves whatever the cost to those around us I feel so terribly sad.
My husband was telling me about what he is confronted with at his work and what the lives of his workmates are like the other night, and I just felt sick in my stomach and so sad and discouraged. How much we must pray for our husbands!
What keeps us on track without doubt is our dedication to our spiritual growth. If you don’t tend your spiritual growth you not only stop growing, but also go backwards. We lead such busy lives that prayer, the sacraments, and reading for spiritual growth can tend to be given a low priority. It doesn’t demand our attention like the myriad of cares our days provide. I’ve learnt the hard way that you can’t put the cart before the horse. I put my workload first, and slotted God into what was left; and as you can imagine, there wasn’t much of the ‘what was left’.
If you don’t put God first in your life you can not only stop moving but you can abandon your load altogether.
If we are without the spiritual dimension in all we do we are defenseless, and our tasks/life becomes meaningless repetition. Without God, life is just plain meaningless.
It’s a commitment, in spite of all that’s thrown at you, to cling to Christ that pulls you through; to keep reaching out for him when all is darkness.
Where your spiritual fortifications are weakest is where the wall will begin to crumble. We have to find out what those weaknesses are and do battle with them. We are in the grips of spiritual warfare! It can be too easy to forget that sometimes. Also some sins cannot be rid of except by prayer and fasting. (‘But this kind is not cast out but by prayer and fasting’ Matt 17: 17-20) Now there’s something to think of; ONLY BY PRAYER AND FASTING! So many have a poor prayer life, and as for fasting?…..
Dissatisfaction can be a great destroyer of faith; if it is not dealt with properly it grows rapidly and the things you might never have imagined doing now become things you have a ‘right’ to do. And oh how frightening, that it can happen to any of us if we aren’t vigilant.
One of the hardest things to really realize and accept in this life is that we must carry the cross. Understanding why, accepting, and loving it are truly a great grace.
There is no complete satisfaction to be had in this life. Every time we feel that pang of incompleteness/dissatisfaction/monotony it reminds us that this is because we are not ‘home’, we are on a journey, and this sorrow instead of being directed at finding ‘pleasure’ in this life needs to be directed instead toward the pursuit of arriving at our true home, in heaven.
To say ‘yes Lord, I will carry this burden for love of you’ is our life’s struggle. To persevere in this school of Christ is to find the keys that open the way to the path of oneness in Christ. The way of the Cross, is the way by which we accomplish our life’s work. When we resist it we fall. When we accept it, the change resulting from it is radical beyond words; we really are able to bring Heaven down onto earth……but not as some understand it.
I have really been enjoying discovering more of what my vocation can be in the last few months. It has been a culmination of things I have learnt over the years from many wise women (thank you God!), but I have had some things fall into place now and I really feel like I can ‘see the room a little clearer’…..that things that were there that I could not see before have been illuminated and I gather them to me, precious gifts that they are, and I can hardly wait to use them.
There are no 'rose colored glasses'. It's just that I am both discovering and learning to accept all the facets of my role, and offering it all to God. I have offered myself as His servant and it has brought me peace. And I did not arrive at this but after a terrible trial.
In discovering all the homemaking arts better, I have been feeling, ‘how come I was cheated of being brought up to know and value this?’ and ‘this is fun’. I feel so happy to know how to serve guests better, to keep my home better cleaned and presented, to be a better wife and mother. Since I have really looked into it properly I have realized that really ‘getting into it’ so to speak brings a lot of satisfaction, rather than just treating things half-heartedly. I think I wasn’t putting my ‘all’ into it all before. I wish I could explain in better.
I do think we can fall into a trap of overcomplicating things too. One thing that changed how I think was reading something a lady wrote on another board years ago. In answer to a question about housework, (and I wish I could remember exactly what she said) she said ‘I just do it’. And it struck me with a force. The most important thing I needed at that time to be a better housewife and mother, was to ‘just do it’. No interior/exterior grumbling about it, just seeing something that needs to be done and just doing it; it’s a learning to keep the mind still, and quiet. And actually she is on this board too, so thanks dear sister!
Do we all have a mid-life crisis? I don’t know. But there’s nothing like getting a few wrinkles etc. to really remind you that life is brief. And here’s where many buy the lie that we need to seek happiness now and that it’s not coming later.
It is so sad to see someone loose their faith. We can only be filled with sadness, compassion, and prayers for them. It can be so hard to understand. To watch people fall ‘left and right’, to be ourselves ‘islands of faith’, in perilous sea’s…..
But we must stand firm, be not afraid, and be God’s lighthouses, praying for ourselves knowing our frailty and unworthiness, praying that by our lives we may bring others to God’s path.
The rot that has spread through our society is highly infectious and there aren't enough prayers been said for those in need. This is why Our Blessed Mother has been pleading with us to pray. Have mercy on us all O Lord!
And Cay, I want you to know you are an inspiration to me, and a good many others. You aren’t old fashioned, or any of these other silly things. We all have to do the best we can, and we all lead different lives; presenting a beautiful field of different flowers for the Lord. But you and I are similar flowers, and I grow better because of ladies like you. It’d be a sad day indeed if there were none of ‘our types’ left.
God bless you!
__________________
Mum to dd (00), ds (03), dd (04), ds (06), one in God's care (08), dd (09), ds (11), one in God's care (13), and ds (13)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Mackfam
Board Moderator
Non Nobis
Joined: April 24 2006
Location: Alabama
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 14656
|
| Posted: Sept 21 2009 at 9:26am | IP Logged
|
|
|
CrunchyMom wrote:
| I am trying to tie spiritual things to physical. The most success I have had with this is brushing my teeth and consecrating my day to Mary. I have St. Louis de Montfort's "Prayer for the Spirit of Mary" taped inside my medicine cabinet with a list of the Marian virtues. Each morning, one of the first things I do is brush my teeth and pray that prayer. |
|
|
I love this idea, Lindsay!
I keep special holy cards taped to special work zones to remind me of the supernatural purpose of my work in the home as well! I don't have specific prayers tied to them, but I do try to offer quick prayers at the sight of the holy cards. For example, I have a holy card of St. Mary Magdalene embracing the Cross taped to my washer. It turns my thoughts to how Our Lord cleansed her heart and spirit because of her sincere, contrite heart, and I try to quickly say, "Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me." Psalm 51:10
I have holy cards tucked in cabinets, on my desk, in my closet - I keep a statue of Our Lady and St. Joseph on the shelf above my clothing and ask them to assist me in wearing a spirit of modesty - this was an idea from Helen when I read that she placed a statue of St. Patrick in her closet to assist her.
I think you make an excellent point of providing one of the ways we can work to consecrate all the little things of our day. These little holy reminders placed strategically along my path throughout the day are a huge help to me...especially on **those** days!
I also try to ask my guardian angel for help throughout the day, especially on those days when I really struggle. On those days it is such a consolation and comfort to me that "tomorrow is a new day with no mistakes in it." Sometimes, that's all I have to cling to at the end of a day, but thanks be to God for that!!! It is a hopeful thought, and we're to live in joyful hope!
Another action that I've learned that is healing is a quick prayer and then stepping out of doors with the children. This is not anything planned, structured or formatted - just a walk to see what we can see. I do this when my temper is short, or when Im feeling an abundance of stress. I consciously ask Our Lady to help me love the children with her heart and to give me their eyes of innocence in seeing God's Creation. I know she helps me because those moments are humbling - they're grounding for me, they quiet my soul, they bring me great joy, they refocus my spirit on the one thing needful and give me perspective as I re-enter worldly thoughts and concerns. I'm grateful for the prompting to embrace humbling moments with my children because it also serves to reconnect us to each other, particularly after days that one child feels particularly stressed or has been struggling with an issue that requires consistency and firmness on my part. It is a gentle oasis for both of us.
In reflecting and contemplating the Holy Family I see how each of them, more through their actions than through any words recorded in the gospels, said over and over again, "my life joyfully for yours." I want to be like that. I want my spirit to sing, my life joyfully for yours, my Lord, my Lady, my husband, my children, my neighbor. I think there is such humility and love in the example of the Holy Family, and I know that humility is a shelter from the temptation of the evil one. If I begin to recognize myself in actions that trouble or disquiet me, I scrutinize them in this way...is this an act of joyful service for Jesus? for Mary? for my husband? my children? my neighbor?
I know we aren't talking about examens specifically, but I do think these are an important way of refocusing our spirits when we struggle with **those days** because they point us back to the source of our vocations and keep us moving forward with the assistance of Our Lady.
This is an excellent thread for refocusing some of these thoughts for me, Cay, and I'm so glad you started it!
__________________
Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
Wildflowers and Marbles
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Stephanie_Q
Forum Pro
Joined: Aug 25 2007
Location: Nebraska
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 479
|
| Posted: Sept 21 2009 at 9:40am | IP Logged
|
|
|
Mackfam wrote:
We live this vocation with joy because this is how we were created to be...this is how we "become what we are." (John Paul II) So we each express it differently, with different strengths, talents, and weaknesses, but within our unique expressions we faithfully seek to live out this vocation in abundance because it is how God created woman. Twist that, deny the maternal nature of woman, deny her the order to which she was created for, and you have dis-order.
Here, on this path, on this narrow way, is where I am challenged in holiness. Here is where I will be made a saint. Here, with God's grace, is where I become what I am. May Our Lady assist us in guarding our vocations as she guarded hers through obedience, humility, and service to Our Lord.
|
|
|
This is beautiful! Exactly what I felt when I wrote that we love this lifestyle because we have embraced it as God's will...I just don't have the ability to express it so well. 
CrunchyMom wrote:
I need to find a specific prayer for the dishwasher. I HATE unloading the dishwasher. I don't know why, but sometimes it feels heroic to do it
|
|
|
That is so funny - unloading the dishwasher is one of my favorite chores and the hardest one for me to "give up" to my young children for them to learn responsibility through chores and so that I have a little more time to do something that they can't...
Here's the info on that tape if you want to try and track it down...I tried calling the number, but no one answered and there was no voicemail:
"Homemakers, Housework and Heaven" Dia Boyle M.S.L @ St. Helena 11/10/94 Divine Mercy Tapes 3948 Hwy. 13 Eagan, MN 55122 (612)454-8800 When I look up the address / phone I get a result for American Family Insurance. That said, I think it would be safe to make a copy of it. I still have a tape player that does that. ;)
__________________
Stephaniedh 6.01
dd 6.02, dd 8.03, ds 3.05, ds 12.06 at Catholic school.
dd 12.09 at home.
Baby boy due 10.13
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
4 lads mom
Forum All-Star
Joined: Sept 26 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1944
|
| Posted: Sept 21 2009 at 12:00pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
CrunchyMom wrote:
I find that in order to embrace my role as a homemaker, I have to look at each day with hope. |
|
|
That is so, so true!!! I tend to be an Eeyore....only because a LOT has happened with our family. I am not quite as gloom and doom, but I am a "realist" and know so much of my life as been about suffering...intense, hard suffering...but even that can be viewed through the lens of Love...and Hope...because God always wins, the battle is won...we just have to stay close to the sacraments. and prayer. I bet Mother Teresa would have described herself as an Eeyore too!!! 
__________________
Mom of four brave lads and one sweet lassie
Scenes From This and That
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
4 lads mom
Forum All-Star
Joined: Sept 26 2006
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 1944
|
| Posted: Sept 21 2009 at 12:09pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Just as a follow up...I guess Eeyore isn't the best example, but I can so relate to him so days!! I do have a sense of humor, which I think has been my saving grace..but I think what I was trying to say is the melancholy temperment in so many of us is the way the Devil gets at us. I realize our temperments are God-given and not evil in of themselves..but it is where we are so vulnerable as women...to go off the deep end..and get things like tatoos or boyfriends.
Okay...I have to get ready for this week!!!!
__________________
Mom of four brave lads and one sweet lassie
Scenes From This and That
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
CrunchyMom
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 03 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 6385
|
| Posted: Sept 22 2009 at 1:32pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Suzzanne asked me specifically about which prayer it is I use. I realized I couldn't easily find a link to it, so, I put up a blog post with it if you'd like to easily bookmark it. This is the one I found in a book Praying with Mary
Prayer for theSpiritof Mary
--St Louis-Marie de Montfort
My powerful Queen,
You are all mine through your mercy, and I am all yours.
Take away from me all that may displease God
and cultivate in me all that is pleasing to Him.
May the light of your faith
dispel the darkness of my mind,
your deep humility
take the place of my pride,
May the fire of the charity of your heart
inflame the lukewarmness of my own heart.
May your virtues take the place of my sins.
May your merits be my enrichment
and make up for all
That is wanting in me before God.
My beloved Mother,
Grant that I may have no other spirit but your spirit,
To know Jesus Christ and His Divine will
and to praise and glorify the Lord,
that I may love god with burning love like yours.
link
__________________
Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
CrunchyMom
Forum Moderator
Joined: Sept 03 2007
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 6385
|
| Posted: Sept 22 2009 at 1:37pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Ack! I accidently deleted part of it before. Hopefully it is fixed now!
__________________
Lindsay
Five Boys(6/04) (6/06) (9/08)(3/11),(7/13), and 1 girl (5/16)
My Symphony
[URL=http://mysymphonygarden.blogspot.com/]Lost in the Cosmos[/UR
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
Waverley
Forum Pro
Joined: Nov 12 2006
Location: Minnesota
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 476
|
| Posted: Sept 22 2009 at 1:46pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Wow, what an amazing thread.
Cay, your original message was so full of sadness and my heart hurt for your pain. If its any consolation, your honesty and sharing about your pain has now turned into a beautiful thread providing support for so many of us walking the the path of being home with our children.
The practical suggestions for staying focused on the spiritual aspect of being at home are wonderful. I look forward to using so many of them.
Thank you, everyone.
__________________
Waverley
wife to Dh for 19 years, dd (16), dd (11), dd (8), ds (6), dd (4), dd (9-13-1996)
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
asplendidtime
Forum All-Star
Joined: Dec 14 2005
Location: Canada
Online Status: Offline
Posts: 744
|
| Posted: Sept 22 2009 at 3:04pm | IP Logged
|
|
|
Waverley wrote:
Wow, what an amazing thread.
Cay, your original message was so full of sadness and my heart hurt for your pain. If its any consolation, your honesty and sharing about your pain has now turned into a beautiful thread providing support for so many of us walking the the path of being home with our children.
The practical suggestions for staying focused on the spiritual aspect of being at home are wonderful. I look forward to using so many of them.
Thank you, everyone.
|
|
|
This thread was so encouraging for me to read today. And timely as I had just read this on another blog, anyone read That Mom?, here's the link to her post on this topic desperate housewives, desperate homeschooling moms Thank you to everyone who offered thoughts. I am not sure whether to put the smiling smiley or the sad one.
__________________
Rebecca~Mama to
Noah 17,
Katie 16,
Mary 14,
Tim 13,
Jonah 12,
Josh 10,
Zoe 9,
Will 7,
Peter 6,
Laura-Mae 4,
Emily-Joy 2,
Genevieve & Gabriella 1
|
| Back to Top |
|
| |
|
|
4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Embracing Our Domestic Self
