4Real Forums: Do you attend a local parish?

Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.

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Topic: Do you attend a local parish?

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Bookswithtea
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Joined: July 07 2005
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Posted: Jan 15 2006 at 10:38am \| IP Logged

Dear Janet,

Thank you for sharing. You've given me a lot to think about. I asked dh what he thought about our dd altar serving and he didn't like it either. He suggested that we tell our children something very similar to what you laid out. I think that's the route we will take.

I do understand what you mean about abuses and the hurt they can cause. I used to read a magazine that was not schismatic but was very sympathetic to their plight, and I learned a lot from that experience.

I'm so sad about your friend who converted to Orthodoxy because of irreverence in her local parish.

Orthodox/Catholic reunification is something very dear to my heart.

I like your suggestion very much about once a month attendance. I am praying about it, and asking the Holy Spirit that if it is God's will, He will put this on my dh's heart as well. Since our local parish is not bad at all, it doesn't seem right to me to abandon it.

Thanks to everyone, for sharing their thoughts with me about this. I so appreciate the wealth of wisdom there is here for converts like me.

~Books

ALmom
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Joined: May 18 2005
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Posted: Jan 15 2006 at 11:27am \| IP Logged

Macbeth -

I had to laugh - not only are the Protestant churches around here the big, traditional looking ones with stain glass and all and 4 or 5 on every street it seems- but if you want to hear Gregorian chant, Latin and beautiful orchestral Mass arrangements - that is where you go. We heard Favre's Requem, complete with Latin choir (only time I haven't knelt at the Tantum Ergo and one of the very few times we actually got to hear it in Latin) at a concert sponsored by the Protestant church next to our parish.

Our dd says she gets to play better music at the Protestant church that pays her (and even once they wanted the Agnes Dei even though no communion of any kind). And I know what you mean MacBeth about music - my dd informs me that I am fortunate sometimes to be very musically undiscerning - I tend to object when there are words like "this church is only 4 walls and a door until the people come in". Fortunately we do have reasonably good music (even according to our musical dd)at our new parish most of the time and I haven't heard any of the really objectionable hymns here.

I wish we could "vote with our car". I wouldn't worry about the gas expense at all - it would be well worth it. Unfortunately 6 hours every week in the car is pretty impossible for a parish - and 4 hours for Mass is a consideration (but we somehow have to still get access to the first Sacraments and Confirmation through a parish - and I find it really unjust to register at a parish, never show up and then expect Father to gladly provide the sacraments without ever seeing you in Mass).

We have some really wonderful priests who are laboring under an unbelievable "load" - large parishes with a school and often no associate, Spanish and Korean Masses, lay people who try to do things behind their back, frequent demands to assist at parishes 1 and 2 hours away, a bishop who gave instructions quite clearly and then folks who would find a new way around it, etc, etc. It is no wonder that several priests had ulcers, heart problems, etc. Often the pastors we have now were not here when the worst things got started - and they have made many, many improvements - but I am sometimes shocked by what seems like no big deal to almost everyone else in the parish, including Father (the plays and clapping come to mind). We no longer have the Extraordinary Ministers communicating themselves or each other - the priest takes care of all 11 and instructions about purifying vessels have been followed more carefully rather than lay folks leaving precious blood till after Mass and soaking up with purificator. At the early morning Mass at this parish things are relatively more reverant than at the other Masses and we generally don't get the dance and plays so that really is helpful. I can avoid most of that except when dd accompanies choir or this year with our 2nd dd in Confirmation Prep. Our bishop who just retired made a real effort to travel constantly to all the parishes - it was the first bishop we ever saw in our part of the diocese and I'm sure that this helped get some changes - it was also extremely taxing on him, I am sure, as the diocese is half the state.

It is just that some of these improvements were so long in coming and we were getting worn out - and impatient for everything to get better (and truth be told we had a really rough time recently with everything seeming to hit us Sunday after Sunday because of the particular Masses we had to attend). Thanks for "bearing with me" as I vented some

and keep praying for us to be faithful and patient and supportive of all that is good while finding the best solution for our family(whatever it is that God wants from us).

Oh, and I hope I didn't express myself wrong - when people whine and sound fudamentalist and come across like only where they go is "holy" or "Catholic" enough, it really is a problem. We too sometimes feel a bit miffed by some of it because we have chosen to try and stay with a parish that is less than perfect for practical reasons and do not just attend Mothers - and this whole thing really is a problem. But I think I have learned to overlook a lot as I have seen how badly many of these people have been treated (long before they developed the sort of "chip on the shoulder") and how deeply their trust in their shepherds were destroyed and realizing that patience, time, good direction from these good priests will help them more than me getting offended. I and my dc can also still benefit from the solid liturgies and shared celebrations and companionship present here - a sort of general atmosphere that supports our values. I hope that clarifies some.

Janet

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