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MarilynW
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Thank you all for your posts and thoughts. I am hoping to respond to many - but depends on my baby girl!
Firstly - I really feel strongly about creating community for my children. When I talked about the courtship thread - it was only to mention the community element -( my children are way too young for us to even have considered the dating element). I love the way Bridget describes their community - this is what I want for mine.
Even when my children were in parochial school, their friends were our family friends. We do not do the "playdate culture" - most of our social interaction is as families. My kids closest friends are from one family - and their parents are good friends of my dh and I. They do not live locally - but eg on Sunday they are all coming over for lunch after church - and there is a child of similar age for each of my children!!
I guess I have some nostalgia for my childhood days where we had real community. Except for my last 2 years of high school (when we moved) I went to a small close knit school - my parents knew the parents of every child there - these were my friends and I loved school. I am still in touch with many of them - in fact 2 of them are married to two of my brothers. One of my friends who I had not seen for 15 years travelled half way round the world to help me out the week after dd was born. She is now married to my husband's brother!
In the community where I lived all the mothers looked out for all the children. If I got home and my mother was not there I could go to one of 6 neighbors and get a snack and talk.
My kids do not have community like that - we have no children in our neighborhood (like Elizabeth has).
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guitarnan
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My son (17) had a couple of lonely years when we moved back here...I finally convinced him that homeschool co-op for high schoolers would 1) count for school and 2) offer ways to meet "his" people. Amazingly, the group was just small enough and just gregarious enough for him to feel comfortable - in a way his 9th grade Confirmation class never did.
I felt badly about those lonely times - no mom likes to see a child feel like an outsider - but he wasn't ready to try co-op until last fall. Since then he's made some other friendships (okay, one friend is 800 miles away...but we met her a few weeks ago!) and feels more comfortable around teens, homeschooled or not, Catholic or not, than he did before.
I think this was an "in God's time" episode in our lives - he wasn't ready to be outgoing, we were surely not ready for him to get too socially involved - I know now that he'll be okay when he goes off to college (in one year, sob!). More importantly, he knows that.
This is a wonderful, wonderful thread. I need to come back to it a few times over the next couple of days...thank you all.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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MarilynW
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Matilda wrote:
I But for a child who isn't expressing their inner conversations or feelings, it can be a time for allowing frustration, resentment and negative dialogues to develop. I don't think that the solution to that is unfettered access to all kinds of communication with 147 of your closest "friends" but when a child expresses feelings of loneliness as Marilyn's has, I think it is a valid concern to discuss with them and maybe come up with an action plan to help satisfy the underlying desires or to diffuse them in some way. |
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Charlotte - that is so beautifully put. And whilst I really want my children to be best friends with each other above all - it does take a while eg my 4 boys have a lot in common and play together all the time - my dd who is the oldest is a little more isolated. I certainly do not believe a lot of peers are necessary - but I definitely pray for a good friend for her and try to provide some social outlet for her.
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MarilynW
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Re friendships - I do think our children need to learn about friendship and again within the confines of family friends is so much better. I am talking about kindred spirits - we only need one of those. I also think it is easier to make our good friends when younger - because as busy mamas of large families we have less time and are more isolated. We discuss friends - I like to think that the friendships my children will make will be "friends for life" - not many of the shallow relationships that seem to be the norm now. Bridget has inspired me to get back to praying for good friends for my children.
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Elizabeth
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Matilda wrote:
Bookswithtea wrote:
| Loneliness leaves room for God... |
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I think this can be true with the right kind of spiritual formation and direction and for a child, I would expect that to come from a mom and dad who are attuned to their child's needs and inner dialogues. But for a child who isn't expressing their inner conversations or feelings, it can be a time for allowing frustration, resentment and negative dialogues to develop. I don't think that the solution to that is unfettered access to all kinds of communication with 147 of your closest "friends" but when a child expresses feelings of loneliness as Marilyn's has, I think it is a valid concern to discuss with them and maybe come up with an action plan to help satisfy the underlying desires or to diffuse them in some way. |
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I guess I just assumed that if a parent is tuned in enough to be asking these questions of herself and thinking about these issues, she's talking to her child. I can't imagine not to talking to my child about these things and it never occurred to me that that might not happen. I definitely don't think that we should just shrug off a child's real or perceived loneliness and say, "Oh, well, you've got God. It's all good."
I should have been more clear in suggesting that we come alongside our children, even as they get older--maybe especially as they get older--and help them to see that often what seems like loneliness is opportunity for growth. Certainly it's useful to learn the skills now that will help them when they encounter loneliness later.
We need to help them understand that a deep and genuine friendship is a very rare gift.The problem is that today's cultural vernacular makes friendship sound so quick and easy. Even if a child isn't facebooking, he's in a world that is and that world is rapidly redefining friendship.Our children are growing up in an environment that has a completely different way of relating than the one we grew up in.Technology makes connecting easier but studies show that people actually feel more disconnected than ever. People have less time to go deep and develop real, multi-dimensional relationships. In adult lives, I think that's because communication moves too quickly. In children's lives I think it's because they are over-programmed and being barraged with too much input and too many people.
I think it's a gift to give our children time alone with their thoughts *and* time to let real friendships grow. The Sally Clarkson example is a great one. Sally has talked often about Sarah's loneliness, particularly since they moved so often. She worked hard to help Sarah understand that God had a plan for her and that as long as she kept taking her thoughts and her desires to God in prayer that He would make his will known and that it would all work together for the good. I think Sally let go of some of it, too. She knew Sarah was sad and she knew that their lifestyle was a part of the reason that making and nurturing friendships was difficult, but she also knew that every step of the way she and Clay were answering God's call for her family. God didn't just overlook Sarah's needs when He called the family; He had a plan there, too.
We approach the decision to homeschool prayerfully. We know that if our children were in school, we wouldn't be having this conversation. They would be surrounded by children of the same age all day long and if they didn't have friends, it wouldn't be because we didn't provide them. But because they're home, somehow providing friendships becomes one more thing we feel like we have to micromanage. If God calls us to homeschool, and we are faithful in answering that call in a way that works in our families, He's going to honor that even in our children's friendships. It's going to look different in every family. It's going to look different for different children in a family. I think though, that at some point, we have to trust Him with all of it. Sometimes, His plan might be a season of loneliness.
Sometimes, God speaks to us in silence. And sometimes He speaks to us in the midst of community or the voice of a special friend. Can our children hear both expressions of the Holy Spirit and do they have opportunities to listen in both ways?
I don't think we can discount, either, the example we set for our children. I know that God calls me to more quiet than conversation, more contemplation than expression, more stillness than activity.I have to be careful that my time, whether in real life or virtually, reflects that priority. I have to be careful that in my attempt to enrich my children's lives with activities and worthy friendships, I'm not robbing them and me of opportunities for quiet, contemplative, stillness. I think those are the scarcest commodities in 21st century childhood.It sure is hard to make that happen.
I want to be an example to my children of recollected peace. I don't want them to see me having to run off and talk (or write) about everything to someone all the time. I want them to see that I seek God and His love, not the affirmation of my peers. And when I do seek my peers, I want my kids to see that I'm seeking holy camaraderie. I'm seeking advice that challenges me to grow in grace. I want them to see me listen. They watch me very closely. They question my actions all the time. They are within earshot of nearly every conversation I have. And I'm glad they do, because it keeps me very aware that this is how they are learning to relate to the world and my example needs to be a very intentional one.
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Elizabeth Foss is no longer a member of this forum. Discussions now reflect the current management & are not necessarily expressions of her book, *Real Learning*, her current work, or her philosophy. (posted by E. Foss, Jan 2011)
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Angie Mc
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I have time to read only the OP, Marilyn. I'll chime in because we know loneliness and friendship. We've moved around a lot in the past but have been settled in the same community for 5 years.
What has helped us most is to come from this perspective - no one is entitled to friends. This may sound harsh at first but we see it as true for adults and children. Loneliness is part of life - something to make the most of while it lasts. I feel no responsibility at all (mean, huh?) to make friends for my children, instead I try to set a good example of how to discern and grow healthy, mutual friendships and to find opportunities to meet and get to know people...a part of our "education is an atmosphere" approach.
Parallel to this is our focus on service/work instead of purely social/clubish relationships. In this way, relationships have a focus - a work - that helps to steer individuals away from becoming too intimate, needy, or wrapped up in best friend-ish intensity.
Another help...loneliness is somewhat subjective, a feeling triggered by thoughts that may be misguided. For more on this, here's a topic on how we think.
Oh...we pray for friends, too! It was because of my ds's prayers that we met stefoodie and her family  . A local family told me that their family prayed us to AZ  .
Praying for you with much sympathy .
Love,
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MarilynW
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Elizabeth wrote:
| I guess I just assumed that if a parent is tuned in enough to be asking these questions of herself and thinking about these issues, she's talking to her child. I can't imagine not to talking to my child about these things and it never occurred to me that that might not happen. |
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However much one talks to one's children - I find that children are different. Some children tell you everything. Others will keep things to themselves until they can make sense of them or express them. Also I find that my children change - eg they might like things a certain way and as they get older change. Life is not static.
The other thing is that even us homeschooling mums are human and fallible - we have so many demands on our time and energy, sometimes we can miss things with our children.
This is why I do my soul searching to try and make sure I am really considering all the children and their needs.
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MarilynW
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Servant2theKing wrote:
Marilyn, I pray the Lord will bless you with a greater sense of peace and confidence that you are giving your children an everlasting gift in having them home, where they can better cultivate friendships with the Lord, and with their siblings. Peer-centered life seems to be a phenomena of the industrial age, which has essentially superceded the family-centered focus of more agrarian times. I like to think of homeschooling families as the new agrarain society, cultivating souls, rather than the soil. Homeschooling families whose children are well attached to parents and siblings always seem more balanced and peaceful, not full of the angst that modernday, peer-centered life seems to breed in young people.
One fruit of homeschooling that you and your daughter might not even imagine now.....if she oneday chooses to become a homeschooling mother, this blessed way of life will not be such a stretch or challenge for her since she has already "lived the life". The aloneness she learns to embrace now will prepare her soul for the realities of motherhood and homeschooling that many women who have grown up in a peer-centered life often struggle to reconcile themselves to. We homeschooling mothers seem to continually question what we are doing, in large part because the homeschooling way of life is vastly different from our own experience in growing up, and is certainly countercultural to the lifestyle of most of our current peers. One of the greatest fruits of educating at home is that of transforming society, bit by bit, family by family.
When weighing choices of friendships or activities for our families we might ask ourselves, "What Would the Holy Family Do?". I imagine their home as being a very peaceful one, filled with rhythm, routine and structure, truly befitting a Domestic Church...the life you described in your post! It took many years of homeschooling before I felt secure enough to more fully turn aside from the busy-ness of today's world. Once I did so, all the questions and doubts melted away and have all been replaced with a true sense of peace and gratitude for this blessed way of life the Lord has guided us to. May your soul be filled with wisdom and guidance in choosing whatever is best for your family and your precious children. Gaze upon the image of Our Lady, cradling the twins in her arms...trust that she holds the hearts and souls of each of your children under her mantle! |
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Servant - your whole post is so very lovely. Thank you. I really do believe that homeschooling is the best alternative for my children and I really hope they all choose to homeschool their children if their vocation is to have a family. I love what your wrote. And thanks for reminding me to pull out my picture of the Madonna with twins - this will be good for my Consecration meditation.
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Mackfam
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I have so enjoyed the sharing of thoughts on this thread! Thank you all!
We are very rural and that has diminished our frequent comings and goings. I looked at this as a possible drawback to our chosen remote way of life at one time. There are times we do experience a level of loneliness, but I see now how it affords a healthy space that offers opportunity for growth, quiet, and shelter-seeking in the safe haven of the home. We don't eschew social opportunities, but what a delight to have space to breathe and exhale and come together again as a family afterward. I don't mean to imply the rightness or wrongness of our chosen locale, just how it has been a factor in my developing thoughts on this subject! I think this *space* can be carved out of any home as it is placed carefully under God's will. (I bolded just so you would know that my country gal roots weren't feelin' to big for my britches! - This space to which I refer is a part of the atmosphere of our home. It is assisted by these glorious open spaces, I'm not gonna lie  , but it is not defined by our geographical space.) I know many of you city gals do a much better job navigating this than I!
I found this thought of Bridget's to be so beautiful and it does give voice to this concern and leaves room for trust and an open door.
Bridget wrote:
If there are families you connect with at your parish or other organized activities, work on meeting up with those families for Sunday brunch, a day at the park, a feast day celebration... whatever you are comfortable with. The goal is to get to know them on a more meaningful level in an informal setting. As they build a 'history' in their friendship, the bonds grow deeper.
I have prayed diligently for good friends and mentors in my children's lives. I still do. God has blessed that abundantly. There was a time when He said 'this isn't my best for you right now', and He may say that again.
I know you know this. Pray about it, work for it and trust God to send who He wants for your children, both in friendships and eventually spouses. |
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We are all in need of a certain level of social interaction. Trusting that God provides through prayer all that is necessary in His perfect time allows me to release guilt and any illusions of control I might have and place my effort and energy in discernment alongside my husband and child. It allows for quiet, unforced conversations that reveal initial impulses as well as the deeper held emotions and motivations. Trust makes room for peace and leaves room for the Holy Spirit to prompt. I cannot force what God does not want to provide for my child, so I can leave it in His hands and like Sally and Clay Clarkson, help my children understand that God has tenderly and carefully carved out a place in His will for each of them as well as for their friendships and relationships.
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Matilda
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| Posted: July 17 2009 at 6:44pm | IP Logged
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Maybe I should get specific here to clarify my perspective since it was not my desire to debate this issue. I feel as though I am mostly in agreement with everyone even if it isn't coming across that way.
My oldest is an unusual kid. He is an 11 year old boy who doesn't like to get rough and tumble. He has no interest in playing team sports or fishing or even playing football outside with the neighborhood kids. He loves reading and designing LEGO creations, learning all about the history of the Indianapolis 500, or medieval warfare or whatever his interest is this week. His only brother is 6 years younger and his sisters operate on a very different frequency than he does although they do all get along and enjoy each other's company tremendously.
He has come to me on occasion and said that he feels lonely. Not bored, not seeking entertainment, but lonely which upon further discussion meant that he wanted to know that there were other kids like him in the world. He wanted to know if he could meet those kids and have a friendship with them. If he went to public school he would probably be labeled as weird or a nerd and while I am glad that I can shield him from those painful epithets here at home, I cannot shield him from the isolation that he sometimes feels. I can help him understand what those feelings are and how to interpret them. I can help him understand who he is and how he was created in the image and likeness of God and I can help him appreciate the special love Our Lord has for him, but I think it is also my responsibility to ask myself if there is something I can do to help him feel less lonely in the world. That might mean making an extra effort to get together with those family friends with common values or making an effort to enjoy long distance correspondences with like minded boys.
I sympathize with him tremendously because I have felt lonely my whole life. Finding my husband was a tremendous relief because he was my best bosom friend and I haven't needed anyone else to fill that role since. However, I still desire the filial affection of friendship (maybe because my only sibling and I aren't on great speaking terms) and feel the need for adult human contact even if it only happens rarely.
The English language is often criticized for lacking more than one word for love. I think the same could be said for "friendship". While I certainly don't think my children are entitled to a peer-centered lifestyle that takes precedence over family, they are entitled to age and maturity appropriate opportunities to work on relationship skills as part of the education of their souls.
Siblings are a special gift all their own and those unique bonds are being forged now
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Charlotte (Matilda)
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Matilda
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Sorry! Here is what I cut off above:
Siblings are a special gift all their own and those unique bonds are being forged now but the fruit of those efforts might not be realized for some time. Those are the relationships that I want my children to work on the most, but I don't think that means to the exclusion of other relationships although there might be seasons of life that are a perfect opportunity to make those relationships stronger without outside distractions.
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Charlotte (Matilda)
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with bookend boys and a double girl sandwich
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MarilynW
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Matilda wrote:
I sympathize with him tremendously because I have felt lonely my whole life. Finding my husband was a tremendous relief because he was my best bosom friend and I haven't needed anyone else to fill that role since. However, I still desire the filial affection of friendship (maybe because my only sibling and I aren't on great speaking terms) and feel the need for adult human contact even if it only happens rarely.
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Marilyn
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Matilda
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I'm so sorry. I should have realized that some post-partum hormones were in the mix. I didn't mean to make you cry and I feel just awful that I have. (I have been feeling kind of blue too and I don't have any hormones to blame it on other than the usual ones. Maybe summertime in Texas brings on the winter blues that you people north of here deal with later in the year.)
I know you are doing a wonderful job Marilyn! The very fact that you are open to the idea of reevaluating for the sake of your children proves that. It might be though that your reevaluation shows that you don't have anything to change right now. You are tuned into your child because you listened to his/her concern. Maybe just talking about your experiences will help calm his/her mind so that they can find that space to make room in their heart for what God's plan is for them at this time.
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Charlotte (Matilda)
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MarilynW
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No worries Charlotte!
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ALmom
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Marilyn:
I want to express empathy and give you a great big hug. I was an extremely lonely child/adult (we moved when I was in 10th grade and basically having been overseas, I was too serious and too different and too late in arriving. All groups were established well before high school, and I was just too late to be welcome. I spent everyday in tears - praying and begging God to send me one good friend. It didn't happen in high school at all. Cliques are a horrible thing - and unfortunately they exist everywhere whether you homeschool or not. I went to public schools except for 2 years of Catholic school.
I can tell you the one thing that made the hurt deeper rather than better.
Not listening but telling me how I could do something else to fix it. It is so tempting (even knowing what I did, I so felt for my dd that I began to do the same thing to her - kept trying to find solutions to her lonliness until I realized I had to stay off the emotional roller coaster myself and be there for her)to talk solutions instead of actively listening.
I really needed someone to hear my pain first and then maybe we could talk about things more. I often was made to feel like folks thought it was my fault I didn't have friends. (I am shy, but I did reach out to all kinds of folks, inviting etc. and I tried to think of others instead of myself - finding ways to serve) Lonliness and being excluded is not the sole problem of homeschooling. While accomodating or learning some skills is helpful to some extent, and reaching out, and getting involved in something you enjoy are all things that sometimes can help you meet the other folks. But if the environment is so cliquish that you are totally unwelcome, there isn't a lot you can do about it. Then you can only acknowledge the pain, pray with and for your child, try to be a listening ear and sounding board and as Elizabeth said, help them recognize the cross they have been sent and try to bear it with Christ instead of fighting it. It is not easy for either mother or child because every pain that is theirs is also yours.
Homeschooling can intensify lonliness for some children. My dd is very competitive, outgoing and social. She was the only homeschooled highschooler for so long. She did do things like try to hide her homeschooling (gave the name of the school and didn't want me to tell anyone that she was homeschooling. She felt that it let the folks on the ballteam get to know her first before judging her). We did not feel welcome in our parish though she did volunteer with some things. Even in the homeschool group, she felt excluded. One group - either not Catholic enough or we had too many restrictions so she wasn't welcome in a different group of kids. (Whether any of this is true or not, no telling - just she was not included or invited to things and was told how sorry people felt for her cause I wouldn't let her do sleepovers. We later found out some people somewhat considered her when she started wearing blue jeans - but again not very true if what you wear is the basis. No, we didn't change our rules to help her fit in - friends who require you to be carbon copies aren't really very true friends. However, it was hard for her. It is still hard for her at college. She has found a wonderful little group - but still no Catholic support. It seems like their are so many factions and she just wants to walk with the Lord and be kind to all.
We did talk about the natural ways that you build a friendship - bonding through working together, etc. We let her know we would drive, help her in any way we could to host things or take her to acceptable activities. She thought about what she loved, we got involved with it in ways that involved more than individual (if dd likes to dance, then maybe a good theater group that includes dance, or some sort of group square dancing or something to put people working and doing things they like together. No guarantee, but you are more likely to meet someone. It did help some just because of the focus and passion - but honestly, she was with people who were still extremely cliquish and she wasn't in any of the cliques. She was a homeschooler - but she was a Catholic homeschooler and once she was not convertable these folks pretty much stopped asking her anywhere.
There are good things that come - and hard things. I'll PM more if it would help. They are being strengthened for something when this lonliness sets in - but the need to belong is real. Lack does have its effect, too. God will see you through.
Janet
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Taffy
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I can echo a lot of what Janet is saying. I was public schooled throughout and always had a very difficult time fitting in and was often lonely. But what made it worse was the expectation that I should be out with friends on a regular basis. My mom kept thinking I was missing out and that it wasn't normal to want to do things on my own. That just made me feel like more of a misfit.
I am having a very tough time with this now with my oldest who is the only one homeschooling right now. It's compounded by his autism. It's hard to see him hurting and wanting a friend and not know how to help. I am reading this thread with great interest.
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Barbara C.
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Last Sunday we had an appeal at Mass for money and volunteers to support a hot-line for priests. Basically, they just have people there for priests to talk to if they are lonely are dealing with an issue and feel like they have no one to talk to. My kids were kind of curious about the whole thing, so as I explained it them I said, "Everyone gets lonely from time to time, not matter how happy they are with their life otherwise." I think a major problem in our society today is that everyone is afraid of being alone or lonely...that's why everyone is glued to their cell phone, home phone, computer, etc.
The second thing that came to mind reading this thread was The Wonder of Girls by Michael Gurian. I just read this book, but he offers a lot of explanation about how short periods of loneliness/depression are normal for teenage girls, and how as parents we can help them through it. It is part of their neurological development that should be viewed as normal, though. He also talks a lot about how women tend to view their lives by the relationships that they have in it...I think he calls it the "Intimacy Imperative". I'm also intrigued to read his book The Wonder of Boys and see the differences.
Just some food for thought...
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Barbara
Mom to "spirited" dd(9), "spunky" dd (6), "sincere" dd (3), "sweet" dd (2), and baby girl #5 born 8/1/12!!
Box of Chocolates
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Mimip
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| Posted: July 18 2009 at 2:07pm | IP Logged
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Dearest Everyone,
I have been following this since Marilyn posted because well, my oldest is a sanguine, just like her mom, who unless she is surrounded by people is "lonely". I can completely relate to so many of the things said above.
I was not a loner in school, I was in one of the popular crowds and was very active in the Catholic high school that I attended. That created its own challenges, but I see the tendency with my oldest.
People have often asked me how I would ever continue to homeschool a child that is so completely extroverted and sanguine and many times I laugh and say "that is why I have to continue to home school her" I realized when DD was very young (5 or 6) that had my child attended the local catholic school I would have lost my influence over her very quickly. The people around her influence her decision making. I know that is not the best, but it is her reality. A reality that I work with everyday and give to our Lady and her guidance every moment.
This being said it was very important to keep her close and make friends with a child's whole family. We have been very blessed to have some great families to choose from, since we are in a large city with a very nice group of home schooled children. Our closet friends, whose girls are my girls best friends are moving away this month so this thread has hit a very powerful chord for me. I worry about true friendship vs. see you at the park friendship
No matter what, seeing your child suffer is hard. Let us turn to the Lord for a consolation and peace for all our children and I'm with Angie maybe we can pray some friends into the picture
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In Christ,
Mimi
Wife of 16 years to Tom, Mom of DD'00, DD'02, '04(in heaven) DS'05, DS'08 and DS '12
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monique
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| Posted: July 18 2009 at 6:05pm | IP Logged
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MarilynW wrote:
Charlotte - that is so beautifully put. And whilst I really want my children to be best friends with each other above all - it does take a while eg my 4 boys have a lot in common and play together all the time - my dd who is the oldest is a little more isolated. I certainly do not believe a lot of peers are necessary - but I need to come up with creative ways to deal with her needs - not just assume that because she is the oldest and responsible and helps me a lot that this is fine for her.
Edited - sorry - I got confused with your name!! |
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We are in the same boat as you, Marilyn. Shaylan is the oldest and only girl. She does feel lonely in this family. She doesn't enjoy doing the things the boys do. The boys are much closer. Shaylan does have a close group of homeschooled Catholic friends so I'm very thankful for that. However, she does get a bit lonely and bored during especially during the summer. I think as she's gotten older though, we have become each others friend. We enjoy doing more things together. She is wonderful helper for me. DH is gone so much and she is often very willing to help me when chaos occurs. It sounds like you found that to be true with Abby as well.
I just pray that one day, Shaylan will come to appreciate all her brothers. Often complete strangers tell us that God gave us all these boys for a reason and we just don't know why yet! I think there is something to ponder there.
I will pray for Abby. Shaylan enjoys reading her blog.
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Monique
mom to 5
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florasita
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| Posted: July 21 2009 at 3:36pm | IP Logged
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I just finished writing about this on our blog
the other day .
I think there will always be periods in our lives where we feel lonely . Our priest told us of one Christmas he was new on the reserve and it was so cold and he was all alone Christmas eve . He felt very very sad . I guess many people assumed being a priest someone must have asked him over etc. or frankly no one may have thought of him .Everyone so involved with their own families on Christmas eve .
He told how he of course turned to our Lord and I can't remember his specific meditations but he was with Jesus and he truely realized he was not alone at all .
I had never thought before how he or a person without a family must feel lonely here I am with my kids & dh and do have some friends and I felt lonely !
So we all as humans expereince this .
My lonliness comes from lack of catholic or spiritual community here . I have many secular and pagan friends so of course I crave what I do not have I question the why He has placed us here etc.
However as I wrote on our blog if I am patient and calm and wait what really is needed will be sent or at times if I look real hard I will see perhaps it was already here 
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May I rise & rest with words of Gratitude on my Breath
May I have the Heart & Mind of a Child in my Depth
May I forever remember to be a Light
May Peace Love & Hope be My Sight
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4Real Forums : Tea and Conversation
Topic: Homeschooling, Loneliness and Community
