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4 lads mom
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| Posted: May 13 2009 at 6:59pm | IP Logged
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Wow!!!! What great input, I have so enjoyed everyone's responses....thanks for the shot in the arm, and thank YOU Donna, for being "for real" and humble.....Gosh, this is how we are being called to Sainthood, what higher calling is there? If I always felt like I was hitting the mark, I probably would get off of my knees more,and think I really was in charge!!!  I find when I start to feel like what you described, Donna, I think of St. Therese the Little Flower....and how much it delighted her to be "little" and "hidden"....This is one reason I have discerned for me, I can't blog....it is too much. I LOVE to read blogs, and am happy so many do, but I am so competitive..and struggle with the whole ego thing...it would not be a good mix. I, too, have to take breaks like someone talked before about....breaks from all of the sensory input of the blogs, forums, etc, and just focus on the ONE with the answers....
Thanks, Donna, for bringing this up.....I pray for peace in your heart.
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Mom of four brave lads and one sweet lassie
Scenes From This and That
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MarilynW
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| Posted: May 13 2009 at 7:20pm | IP Logged
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4 lads mom wrote:
| ...Gosh, this is how we are being called to Sainthood, what higher calling is there? If I always felt like I was hitting the mark, I probably would get off of my knees more,and think I really was in charge!!! |
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4ladsmom my friend - you are definitely on the path to sainthood. You are my inspiration - blogging etc are easy - what you are doing is amazing and difficult.
What you said is so true - whenever I start feeling like I have it all together (has not happened for a long time  ) - I have to get a nudge from our Lord reminding me of how I really am not in control.
As for blogs, writing, speaking etc - none necessarily give an accurate picture of how life really is for that mom - her relationship with her children and spouse, the state of her home, etc etc. (unless you know them and they are giving you the full details on the phone  )
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Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
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CandaceC
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| Posted: May 13 2009 at 7:34pm | IP Logged
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What a WONDERFUL thread. I must admit, I struggle with this a LOT. I struggle with not being able to say no.  So, at church I get...can you teach sunday school class? can you lead music for bible study? can you be a small group leader? teach a VBS class? keep nursery??
You see my point.
But, on the other hand, this is also an inward struggle for me. There are a lot of things I WANT to be doing...I love music and would love to do a multitude of things with that: teach piano lessons (which I tried out of my home for severla years...it just did not work for me with my small children in the home.) Sing in choir, sing with band, play keyboards for this, etc etc.
Those are all things I enjoy. One of my gifts is administration...I'm always being asked to organize things/groups/get-togethers. And honestly I do enjoy those things!!
But, time after time, when I get TOO busy...I start getting overwhelmed and my family gets the brunt of my feeling overwhelmed and negative. 
God has had to teach me this lesson several times, I'm ashamed to admit. Several years back I could handle more...but my family was not coming first. Well, very quickly the Lord allowed me time in the valley of depression...I was burnt out, overwhelmed, too busy for anything I should be doing at home...doing GOOD things. But not the BEST. God literally had to SLOW ME DOWN by practically debilitating me...and since then, when I start to get too busy I just kind of fall apart.
This happened recently and I learned once again, I have got to say no. I did so well for about 2 years, then started adding more to plate and BOOM...overwhelmed, irritable, short with my kids, it's a downward spiral for me.
So, yes, I have gifts that I'd love to share outside my home. Prayerfully, I'll be able to share more of those years down the road. Maybe 20 years down the road.
Anyway, I'm rambling, but I appreciate this post so much. My first mission at this time in my life is my family. That is my primary ministry...and when other things start to come before that, the Lord gently (or sometimes even dramatically) has to slow me down. I'm slowly learning to say NO more. I'm slowly learning to slow down and ENJOY being at home and not have a crazy schedule, because I thrived on that before kids.
One major thing God has had to teach me is that there are a LOT of GOOD and WORTHY things that can take up my time right now...but it may not be HIS BEST for me and my family. 
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Candace - wife to David since 2000...mommy to Hannah (Feb. 2002), Emily (April 2003) and Caleb (March 2005)
His Mercy Is New
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Mimip
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| Posted: May 14 2009 at 8:09am | IP Logged
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I agree with so many things said so far and I cannot figure out how to do those cool quote boxes
I just wanted to say that I struggle with so much that has come up. I joking (ok half joking) tell my husband that he should stay home with the kids and I'll go to work. I was a really good teacher. I loved the classroom and I loved being there for the kids and their families. I didn't even mind the paperwork. Now I struggle with housekeeping and dinner making (my least favorite chore) and cleaning the unending amount of dishes (no dishwasher here).
BUT... I remind myself that I am learning everyday how to be a good mom and wife and housekeeper. I have to remind myself that my husband and I struggle with this because we love our children and want to give them our best selves. I learn so much everyday. In the past, I have done so much outside the home from tutoring to teaching additional classes to something as mundane as scrapbooking. All of this was good but it took away from my time present to my kids. It just was not possible to be the kind of mom that I wanted to be or even was struggling to be. I don't know if that makes sense but I want to be home so that I can have more time to refine my art.
I get really stressed out when I am under a time crunch so I struggle each day to pace the day slowly and do as much as I can with my down time. After almost 9 years of parenting I have realized that nothing is worse for my family than me being stressed out and nothing is worth that. So I am at home as much as possible.
I do get out at least once a month for my catholic women's meetings and hubby and I do date nights and I do a girls night out with my 3 best friends at least once a tri-mester (we all home school). So that helps with the sanity
Thank you for this amazing thread, it going on my favorites for sure 
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In Christ,
Mimi
Wife of 16 years to Tom, Mom of DD'00, DD'02, '04(in heaven) DS'05, DS'08 and DS '12
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donnalynn
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| Posted: May 16 2009 at 9:12am | IP Logged
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I cannot thank you all enough for your responses - I will keep them all close at hand.
I was also given a little solace when I considered the pain and emotional turmoil my husband faces in his couseling sessions - he doesn't go into details but there are evenings he comes home weary and just kisses me on the cheek and tells me "I am so thankful you are home with our children - we really are doing ok."
I would never think myself better than those who find themselves in difficult situations - so why am I comparing myself to others who I think are doing "more"? We are hard on ourselves, aren't we?
I do think these moments might serve as a kind of course correction - I realize I have had several factors that have all come together at once - but this has helped me to see more clearly my true priorties.
I think in a way Our Lord saw that I was losing perspective and venturing off my path to heaven - how well He knows how to bring me back to my knees.
Thank you again - I feel so supported and truly strengthened!
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donnalynn
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Topic: Is it ok to be just a mother?
