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Jody
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Barbara, Your house sounds like ours! 
Jody
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Jody,
Mom to 10 blessings
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knowloveserve
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- Do make a mei tai! They are pretty easy after you get the hang of it. I'm no great seamstress but I've made dozens of them now and they make great gifts for new mamas. I have a little blog on it including a link to an easy tutorial here: www.elliemaytie.blogspot.com
- It must be your area. Here in the PacNW, it's pretty common to see babywearing (though still not nearly as common as the babies in "tupperware" or strollers. I've never received any negative comments about wearing my kids at all... only positive or admiring comments. I feel like babywearing evokes such a powerful image of what is good and beautiful about motherhood. I *feel* differently when I see a baby on a parent than when I see one in those car seats or a stroller (I'm not entirely against these, for the record, just the overuse of), and I wonder if others do too even if they don't realize it. It's just such a positive message of the goodness of motherhood and our culture is in SUCH need of positive mothering images. Since I can't be out on the street corners evangelizing or at all the abortion protests, I have to be pro-life in every other small way I can... and babywearing sends a message I think.
- DonnaMarie, don't get discouraged!!! Like someone else said, you can try wrapping or other types of carriers. I'm convinced that MOST women can comfortably wear a baby up to AT LEAST 2 years or 30-35 pounds if they have the proper carrier. Right now, I'm 33 weeks pregnant and I have a 2 1/2 year old 36 pound son whom I can still wear in a mei tai or woven wrap for a good hour or so. Single shoulder holds are definitely NOT for this age/weight except for very short carries. But you can get a good wrap or mei tai or soft structured carrier (like an Ergo even though their are much better soft structured carriers out there for older/taller/heavier babies)that will put the weight on your hips and both shoulders and be absolutely fine. It breaks my heart that the majority of women try something like a Snugli or ill-fitting pouch and then the baby gets to be about 3 months old and the shoulders start to hurt and they give up babywearing because it's not comfortable... if only they knew!!!!
Different bodies respond differently to various carriers/wraps... you just have to find what works for you. I confess to an inordinate passion about babywearing and am probably TOO well versed in what's out there and works well for whom... let me know if you'd like some recommendations!
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Ellie
The Bleeding Pelican
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Lisa in WI
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| Posted: May 06 2009 at 11:51am | IP Logged
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I've only good nice comments about my wrap. I still have my youngest in the wrap when we go out and she's already 15 months old. I need my two hands to take care of my other kids. I have had many people say that I must be very busy.
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Lisa,
mommy to E (9/04), O (3/06), C (1/08), & Baby (due January 2010)
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Alcat
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You ladies rock! Thanks for all the encouragement- I think I was feeling very sensitive- I hate getting noticed right now. Generally I'm outgoing and love to evangilize those who make comments, but due to a lack of sleep  I just don't want to hear it!
I totally agree with you, Ellie, I think that for most healthy women, there is a carrier out there that can work with your body. I too am a bit of a gear-head when it comes to baby wearing... I am gonna make that mei tai this weekend 
There is no shame in putting your baby in a stroller- I like to when we take long walks on the road, or on easy trails- it's easier on my body. It's those folks that Valerie mentioned who simply won't take the sad baby out of the stroller that make you want to cry
I take my stroller with me when we go to activities. I know people think I'm odd because at the first sound from my baby I pop him out and put him in the sling. I really just need the stroller to haul all our equipment, snacks, clothing and bags I will probably keep using it even when I don't need it for a child- so I don't have to carry everything
I'm with you Martha I don't have much in the way of technology to occupy my babe's - though I have loved the swing, but I'm not willing to go out and buy one (saw one at a second hand shop for $70  ) so my last few babies have been swing free- and we lived!
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mom to ds15, dd13 ,ds11, dd8, dd6, ds4, & dd18mos
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JodieLyn
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Quote:
| really just need the stroller to haul all our equipment, snacks, clothing and bags |
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You mean that's not the purpose of a stroller?
I use a double stroller so that I can contain the 2 yr old at need.. but also it gives the two youngest not babies a good place to sit or if they get tired to nap.  plus as the general cart all. 
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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SusanMc
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I have a question about wraps for those who have woven ones. I just use a strip of gause since I'm in a warm weather climate. But I don't always find them the most comfortable. Would a woven wrap be better in this respect? Do they offer more support at the shoulders?
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knowloveserve
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SusanMc wrote:
| I have a question about wraps for those who have woven ones. I just use a strip of gause since I'm in a warm weather climate. But I don't always find them the most comfortable. Would a woven wrap be better in this respect? Do they offer more support at the shoulders? |
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A woven wrap will typically offer more support than a gauze, yes. That said, not all wraps are created equally. While I think a lot of baby carriers are easy enough to replicate on your own... wraps are the exception to this rule. (Well, you can get away with doing your own stretchy wrap for those few early months of baby's life) A great woven wrap is going to be an investment. Fortunately, they typically age very well and you can purchase them used quite often.
Some woven wraps have very thin weaves which can help them to be not so warm as some of the others. Vatanai is one such wrap brand. Didymos Pfau is also a very light woven wrap and Ellaroos are said to be good summer wraps. How big is your baby?
Is there a babywearing group near you that you can visit and try on wraps. (Check out thebabywearer.com for more info on this)
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Ellie
The Bleeding Pelican
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JodieLyn
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I have been told if you want to do your own wrap that THIS FABRIC is the right type of fabric at a great price.. and you can dye it.. it's recommended to use Dylon Permanant Fabric Dye because it won't bleed after dying.
Ellie.. that info is from a good friend who is also a baby carrier fanatic and haunts babywearer.com
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Jodie, wife to Dave
G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
All men who have turned out worth anything have had the chief hand in their own education.
-Sir Walter Scott
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Lisbet
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This is from our local newspaper from 2 years ago, MB was the baby I was wearing at the time. The cover of the 'Living' section was MB and I in our Katja Didy.
Baby on board
When Lisa Baldwin's oldest child was born 12 years ago, she was bombarded with warnings against holding her baby too much and too often.
"You'll spoil him!" well-meaning friends cautioned.
But through the La Leche League, Mrs. Baldwin was introduced to the idea of carrying her son in an over-the-shoulder holder that allowed her to nurse him. "For me at the time, it was a lifesaver," she said. And her son loved it.
As her family grew, she discovered other ways to carry her babies, mainly by wrapping them against her body in a large swath of fabric. Now, eight children later, the 32-yearold wife and mother is an ardent advocate and teacher of the practice known as "babywearing."
Dr. William Sears, a pediatrician and creator of the "Ask Dr. Sears" Web site, calls baby-wearing a parenting style that brings out the best in both baby and mother. His wife, Martha, a registered nurse, also has "worn" the couple's babies, and Dr. Sears has encouraged hundreds of parents to do the same.
"Baby-wearing," he says on his Web site, "means changing your mindset of what babies are really like. New parents often envision babies as lying quietly in a crib, gazing passively at dangling mobiles, and picked up and carried only to be fed and played with and then put down ... Baby-wearing reverses this view." Parents who "wear" their babies carry them in a sling or wrap for most of the day, putting the child down only for sleep times or so the carrier can attend to personal needs.
Mrs. Baldwin, who wears her babies whether she is shopping, going to church, washing dishes, or doing laundry, said she is more in tune with her infants' needs because she keeps them close to her early in their lives.
"You pick up on their cues quicker. You get to know their rhythms." This was especially evident, she said, with her second-youngest, Molly, who had respiratory problems and sleep apnea as an infant. "There's no way I would have put her in a cradle in another room and gone about my business, because when she was on me, she was always in tune to my breathing. It was enough to keep her stimulated and awake and remembering to breathe."
Lisa Marie Benko, a mother of two and co-leader of the Toledo Area Babywearers group, said baby-wearing is catching on because it's easy and calming for babies. She currently is "wearing" her 1-year-old son and said, "People are so surprised that he doesn't fuss very much. It frees my hands up and I can get work done and the baby's happier."
Fitting into the flow
Dr. Jonna McRury, a pediatrician who teaches at the University of Toledo College of Medicine, said that in general, research shows the more mothers hold their infants the less they cry. She cited a 1986 study of 99 mother-infant pairs conducted at McGill University in Quebec, and published in Pediatrics Journal in which babies held by their mothers in the first three months of life cried and fussed less overall.
No one knows exactly why babies who are held more cry less, Dr. McRury said, although the theory is that it reproduces the conditions in the womb, allowing the baby to hear and smell the mother. In her practice at the Neighborhood Health Association, Dr. McRury said she encourages mothers to hold their babies for the first three to six months.
"It's the norm. For centuries, that's what you did with your baby. It's only in the industrialized western countries where we didn't carry our babies. If you look at the history of mankind, the vast majority of babies that have ever lived have been carried a lot."
Mrs. Baldwin said despite concerns that babies who are worn get overstimulated, her experience has been the opposite. "They can stay to themselves, snuggle into Mom's chest or back. They're no longer forced to be exposed to the stimulation all around them. This way, they're stimulated enough that they fit into the flow of the family." At night, she said, they tend to sleep better.
Linda Johnson, a midwife from the Mother's Own Birth and Women's Center in Temperance, where Mrs. Baldwin has taught classes on baby-wearing, said she wishes more mothers would take up the practice. "I look at these poor babies in their little carriers and the way the mothers struggle with them at the grocery store ... and I think how much nicer it would be for the child to be warm and safe next to Mom than to be in the cart, pulling things off the shelves."
She said another advantage to "wearing" a baby is that it brings the child to a height where he or she can see what is going on.
Security
Baby-wearing is perfectly safe, according to Dr. Sears, provided moms follow a few rules, such as avoiding cooking or working with sharp or hot objects while carrying their babies. He also advises women who "wear" their babies to bend at the knees, not the waist, and to exercise caution when going through doorways and around corners. In addition, babies never should be "worn" in a car.
For those who worry that the baby will fall out of the wrapping or sling, Mrs. Baldwin said the idea is to wrap the baby securely. "They're tied to you, then you bring the fabric around and cross it between their legs." When a baby is carried on the back, Mrs. Baldwin recommends that initially the mother get someone to help her until she becomes more familiar with the technique.
Mrs. Baldwin finds it relatively easy to keep her babies on her most of the day for about the first year of their lives. She wraps newborn Mark onto her first thing in the morning and keeps him there until she showers. Other than that, she said, "The only time he really comes down is to eat and get his diaper changed, and to sleep at night." During the day, she is cooking and home-schooling five of her other children. Recently, she cleaned the garden beds with Mark on her back.
Mrs. Baldwin prefers a wrap made of a single piece of fabric to the conventional carriers available in baby stores, not only because it is more comfortable for the baby, but because it is less like a device and more an extension of how she goes about her day.
She began doing this somewhat by accident the day one of her toddlers was being discharged from the hospital and she had a nursing baby with her. "I had to figure out how to get the baby, the toddler, and all the paraphernalia out to where my husband was waiting in the van. I didn't have a sling with me or a carrier." She grabbed a sheet, wrapped it around her, knotted it at her hip, slipped her baby onto her back inside the sheet, and walked out of the hospital carrying her toddler in one arm and a bag in the other. "People were looking at me funny," she said. "Some stopped and offered to help."
When she got home, she thought, "There's got to be a way to do this." "I very much wanted the babies to be on me, to be part of the flow of our day."
She went on the Internet and learned that in some cultures, women worked together and made their own carriers. Soon, she was making them herself and other women were asking her how to wrap and wear their babies.
By the time she had her sixth child, Mrs. Baldwin was proficient enough in the method that she was able to put the baby on her back when he was 7 days old and carry him there for his entire first year. Her daughter Molly "went up" when she was just 4 days old.
It's about comfort
Mrs. Baldwin has about 15 wraps, some homemade and others purchased. Among them is what is known as a "ring sling," a piece of fabric sewn onto a pair of large rings that are used to fasten the wrap like a belt. The "tail" that hangs down from the rings allows her to cover the baby and herself while nursing.
Color-coordinating her wraps to what she is wearing is important to Mrs. Baldwin. "I don't want to look frumpy," she said, and indeed, she looks quite fashionable.
She has several wraps for casual wear. A neutral-colored one, for example, is for everyday, and another she uses for hiking is in a bright color so that her older children can see her easily. "I also have a water wrap. It's made of the same material as my swimsuit - Solarveil, a sun-reflective material that protects from UV rays."
Making a wrap requires about five yards of preferably washable material about 27 inches - but no more than 32 inches - wide, Mrs. Baldwin said. For newborns, she recommends using a stretchy fabric. Then, as the child gets older, a gauze-type fabric works best. Her first choice for most wraps is cotton, though she has a friend who likes silk and wool.
The cost of those she has purchased varies, but she has one made of hemp that retailed at $50 and another of certified organic cotton that would have been more than $100 had she bought it new. She has seen others for up to $200, but some of her own only cost her $5 for the fabric.
To moms who worry that carrying their children will make them too clingy, Mrs. Baldwin says that babies eventually want to leave the comfort of the wrap to investigate the world around them. Usually, she said, by the time they're 2, they're done with baby wearing.
For example, Molly, her 16-month-old, started to show less interest in being on her mother when she started crawling at between 8 and 10 months. Now that Molly has a younger sibling, her father, Tony, does the baby wearing honors when she wants to be carried, although Mrs. Baldwin also has been known to wear two children at once - one in front and one on her back.
She said her children start to show more independence when they are between 3 and 4. Before that, they exhibit such attachment behavior as touching, holding onto her leg, sitting on her lap, or rubbing her arm. When they do strike out on their own, she said, they still seem aware of where their security is. It's as if, she said, they know they can go out and play with a neighbor child or visit Grandma's house for the day and that their mother will still be there to take them back into her arms when they get home.
"My kids are not clingy," she said. "They're attached, and that's the goal."
Baby-wearing
For more information:
Web sites
- www.thebabywearer.com - Reviews of baby-wearing carriers, articles about the practice, and forums for discussion.
- www.askdrsears.com - Site of pediatrician William Sears and his wife, Martha, a registered nurse. For information about baby-wearing, check the A to Z Index.
- www.wearyourbaby.com - Site of the Mamatoto Project.
- www.slingrings.com - A place to purchase rings used to make baby slings. Also has links to patterns for sewing your own sling.
- www.mothering.com - Includes a section on baby-wearing.
Groups
- Toledo Area Babywearers - Meets at 10:30 a.m. on the third Wednesday of the month at various locations in and around Toledo. Information available through Toledo Area Babywearers online group at www.yahoo.com. Check listing of Yahoo groups for this and other online baby-wearing groups.
Classes
Mother's Own Birth Center, 1715 Dean Rd., Suite C, Temperance. 734-847-8100, 1-866-920-8100, and www.mothersownbirth.com.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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knowloveserve
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JodieLyn wrote:
I have been told if you want to do your own wrap that THIS FABRIC is the right type of fabric at a great price.. and you can dye it.. it's recommended to use Dylon Permanant Fabric Dye because it won't bleed after dying.
Ellie.. that info is from a good friend who is also a baby carrier fanatic and haunts babywearer.com |
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It's true, it can be done! I've made my own wrap and it was okay... but once you try out the spendy German wraps and such, you'll see why they charge an arm and leg for 'em.
The best thing to do is NOT try out the nice wovens... just make your own the best you can... then you won't know what you're missing!
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Ellie
The Bleeding Pelican
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vmalott
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Alcat wrote:
| I will probably keep using it [stroller] even when I don't need it for a child- so I don't have to carry everything |
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I know, I can't imagine what I will do without it once I don't have a baby/toddler to lug around with all our stuff. Maybe by then we won't have as much stuff to lug around??? Or perhaps I'll finally trade in my folding chairs for some bleacher seats (sooo much easier to carry).
Valerie (who will likely be loading up the stroller-cart again for tonight's baseball game)
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Valerie
Mom to Julia ('94), John ('96), Lizzy ('98), Connor ('01), Drew ('02), Cate ('04), Aidan ('08) and three saints in heaven
Seven Times the Fun
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Wearing your baby is weird?
