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Alcat
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| Posted: May 01 2009 at 3:29pm | IP Logged
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Lately I have begun to notice that I am strange for taking my baby with me where ever I go. I am even weirder for not putting the baby in the stroller, but caring him in the sling...
This weirdness is because we have crossed over to the "dark-side" of children's activites. I have my older three doing their different things and when I am there I have been getting comments about how I "always have that baby with me" or "do you ever put him down?". This is just too weird for me!
I was active in Couple to Couple League for many years. I thought that even if you did have your child in daycare you would still take them with you when you ran errands or hold them when you were at the ball game...
I'm a little sensitive to the attention, as there are now six dc I get a bit more attention than I would like... It takes a lot of energy to respond to peoples odd statements and questions, so I get even more weirded out when I get comments about having the baby with me 
Just venting 
Alison
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mom2mpr
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| Posted: May 01 2009 at 3:36pm | IP Logged
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Vent away.
I miss those days and think baby wearing is beautiful. Hang in there and enjoy. Soon he won't fit.
I also get upset when people won't hold their kids,or let them sit on their laps.
I hear my friend say to her 4 year old "you are too old, you are not a baby!!" Sorry, I disagree. And it breaks my heart.
But, then again, I am an old softy 
Just trying to encourage you....
Anne
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Lisbet
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| Posted: May 01 2009 at 3:51pm | IP Logged
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Most people around here (not the homeschooling mamas...) still take their kiddos to daycare on their days off so they can run errands - I once had someone say to me, while shopping with 4 or 5 of my kids (one in the sling) "That's what babysitters are for".
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: May 01 2009 at 4:00pm | IP Logged
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How weird.. I usually only get positive comments when babywearing. Things like.. how neat the whatever is.. or asking where to find one etc.
Just keep doing what you're doing and SMILE even if it's a bit forced.. pretty soon they'll get used to seeing you and your family.
And then the next step is when everyone knows who you are and you have NO CLUE who the other person is
Oh as for responding.. I would keep it short and sweet and said with a smile..
I "always have that baby with me" - Of course
or "do you ever put him down?" - generally by the time they're 2
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KauaiCatholic
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| Posted: May 01 2009 at 4:10pm | IP Logged
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count me in as a proud member of the "old softy" camp. you hang onto that punkin as long as you want to. and I'll say a "thick skin" prayer so those snarky comments just bounce off you. 
I'm sure all the ladies here with big families have even better stories to share, but let me pass this one on: we were invited to a Protestant friends' church for a celebration, and when I accompanied my suddenly shy 5yo DS into the Sunday schoolroom, the adults looked at me like I was an alien. a friend (from our HS co-op, even!) told me I really needed to cut the cord. 
I told her I'd actually be MORE worried if my young children were happy going off into a room full of strangers, in a place they'd never been before, without a backward glance at us. my DS was fine, he just needed to know I was within reach. and God willing, that's where I'll stay until he pushes me away with an eye-roll and an "aw, Mom!". 
enjoy that little snuggler ....
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Donna Marie
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| Posted: May 01 2009 at 4:52pm | IP Logged
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I am trying to wear my baby, but with the sling I have it is waaaay too awkward. I still hold him though!!Don't mess with me, I am waaay too strong!!
I get that a lot and I don't worry about it anymore...I use it as yet another evangelizing tool..."yes, he is always kept close to my heart"
I take Peter James with me everywhere...even to our weekly rosary meeting. I wonder how much longer they will think he is cute when he gets louder and starts staggering across the room...(that is when I usually bow out of things)
You are such a wonderful mamma! You are "preaching without words".
God love you!
Donna Marie from NJ
hs momma to 8dc!!
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PDyer
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| Posted: May 01 2009 at 5:15pm | IP Logged
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I got similar comments when I carried my second in a sling, and I have two children, five years apart.
Slings must be attention-drawing in some way I don't understand.
And if I have another, now over seven years after the last, you bet I'll be slinging and holding him or her as close as I can.
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Nique
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| Posted: May 01 2009 at 10:05pm | IP Logged
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Alison, hats off to you for wearing your baby! Only good can come from it, as you know!!! I wonder if what you are doing gives some moms a "conscience"..suddenly they feel guilty and don't want to admit it, so they try to say something to make YOU feel bad! Nah, ain't gonna happen! You just keep doing what you are doing, and hopefully you'll change the hearts and minds of those around you, one at a time. Consider yourself a "trend-setter" for your area! You go girl 
Donna Marie wrote:
I am trying to wear my baby, but with the sling I have it is waaaay too awkward. I still hold him though!!!! |
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Donna Marie, I recently bought a WRAP, and LOVE IT!! I wore my baby to an indoor waterpark we took as a family vacation, and feel even closer to my 4 month old, since we've been back! I used to wear my babies in ring slings, and found I only had one hand to do other things while holding them..yet, with a wrap I have 2 hands free and it is much easier on my shoulders and back! Mine came from http://www.mothers-helper.ca/WrapSlings.html
You can learn different ways of carrying your baby in a wrap by practicing what you and your baby likes best, right off the internet.
I hope this helps!
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MaryM
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| Posted: May 02 2009 at 1:53am | IP Logged
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PDyer wrote:
| Slings must be attention-drawing in some way I don't understand. |
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Can you imagine the attention-draw my mother was when she used a sling in mid-70's. NOBODY else at that time used one that I ever saw. Believe me she got interesting comments.
I guess I'm really spoiled living where I do. It is not unusual at all to see slings, wraps, and other snuggly carriers. I forget it's not necessarily as common everywhere else as it is here. Now it isn'the norm and the older the baby the less you see them carried like that, but it definitely not unusual.
Keep up the great example you are setting - you never know who you might influence or inspire...
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Alcat
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| Posted: May 02 2009 at 7:18am | IP Logged
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Thanks for the encouragement ladies  I'm sorry I sounded so crabby  Yesterday was a toughie and the whole "you always have that baby" thing had really creeped me out.
I think it is so sad that we live in a culture that seeks to rid mothers of the joy of being with their children especially those so little and vulnerable.
I Love wearing my babies! Next to nursing, it's one of the greatest pleasures for me as a mom. I have a Moby wrap which I used when he was a newborn. I use the sling until I can put him on my back in the Ergo (then I look even more strange . I love baby wearing so much I am thinking about sewing a Mei Tai
I'm going out with my groovy friend this morning for coffee so we can both look like the weird hippy ladies swilling coffee and nursing babies
by the way does anybody have any suggestions for how to wear a 5mo old on your back- I'm just concerned about head control (his is actually good). I've noticed they do it with infants in the Mei Tai... but I couldn't figure out how they do it
thanks again,
Alison
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Nique
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| Posted: May 02 2009 at 8:30am | IP Logged
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Mei Tai Piggy Back
Click on
http://www.mothers-helper.ca/CarrierDirections.html
then scroll down to centre-left where you'll see
PIGGIE BACK (MEI TAI)
Click on Piggy Pack Back carrying Variations...
*Diane (Creator of Mothers Helper) sold me my wrap, and you can email her with your specific question regarding good head control for your 5 month old at this address: Classyslings@Mothers-Helper.CA
She is a wealth of information:O)
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Martha
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I get those comments too. I can't do slings - they are painfull on my back - so I just carry them in my arms. when I need both hands, they are at my feet or side. People are always asking the same thing of me. put them down, get a sitter, and or let them cry. none of which I feel is a real option.
when I first got pregnant with the latest "heir", a good friend took me to the local Babies R Us for the fun of it. OMgoodness, I was just horrified at how many devices there are to dump a baby in! all kindso f contraptions, beyond the walker and playpen. (and I don't even have those!). There was even this little thing you could clip to your belt loop with a bunch of different timers on it for feedings, diaper changes, and naps. I just kind of stood there thinking, "Wow. you can have a baby and other than diaper changes almost never have to even be in the room with them?!" There were video monitors, and just so much STUFF to help a parent avoid being inconvieninced by their baby.
Now I'm not against technology or some of those things - we just prefer not to use them. But there were more than one expectant mom in there registering for ALL of it. And I just thought it was ... rather sad. 
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Bookswithtea
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I put my 5 month old with decent head control in an Ergo when we were vacationing. I put a receiving blanket under his tush to raise him up just a little and it worked out fine.
Babywearing is awesome. Wear a cool peasant skirt and be a bohemian with your coffee and babywearing, and let them think you are crunchy!
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Lauri B
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Perhaps these things go in and out of style? I wore all three of my babies (you can see from my sig they're OLD babies!) and I always got positive comments. I often thought of selling slings from my car trunk, because SO many people wanted to know where to get them.
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Kristie 4
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Boy, i would give my right arm for those days.... I used my sling so much that when I went in children's stores they would ask for demos!
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Waverley
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Alcat wrote:
I think it is so sad that we live in a culture that seeks to rid mothers of the joy of being with their children especially those so little and vulnerable. |
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I agree wholeheartedly with this comment. It makes me so sad when I hear parent's talk about children as if children are a burden. It makes me sad for the parent and it makes me sad for the children. I can't imagine how painful it must be to a child to be made to feel like he/she is a burden.
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mayappleridge
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| Posted: May 04 2009 at 10:55am | IP Logged
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I get a lot of attention, and I like it. I've had people take pictures of me even. Of course once I start talking about the sling, I get comments on my American accent.
Such is the life of an ex-pat!
I worked in daycare for a long time before I had babies and I can tell many stories of children and babies being left there while the mamas did errands or went to the gym or whatever.
Don't get me wrong, I love it when I can get an hour two alone, but I can't imagine being without my baby for long!
I get touched out, too, but in a few years I will miss these days.
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Jody
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Keep up your great witness Alison! I wear my babies too. I think when people see moms wearing their babies they either love it and think it's sweet or it makes them feel so guilty they have an uncontrollable urge to comment negatively. Keep in mind a few of Jodie's responses and you'll be better prepared.
Jody
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vmalott
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Alcat wrote:
I have been getting comments about how I "always have that baby with me" or "do you ever put him down?". This is just too weird for me!
I was active in Couple to Couple League for many years. I thought that even if you did have your child in daycare you would still take them with you when you ran errands or hold them when you were at the ball game...
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Umm...your baby is about 6 months old??? Why wouldn't you always have him with you??? Where else would he be except for maybe daddy's arms? I totally don't get it.
I don't do slings much anymore, but I do have a couple I occasionally use. I don't classify myself as a baby-wearer, but I'm def. attached! For ballgames, my sit-and-stand stroller is utilized to cart the baby and 4-yo along w/folding chairs and our "supplies" through the parking lot safely. Once the destination is reached and we're set up, the baby (toddler, now) is free to explore, lap-sit, be held while standing, rocked or nursed to sleep, whatever is necessary to keep him content.
I remember one year another mom of a boy on my son's team had a baby close in age to my then youngest (this was a couple of kids ago), and she would just let him scream in his stroller. And it wasn't like she was trying to juggle things either...she'd often be at games w/her husband and the baby's grandparents. They all looked so foolish to me in their attempts to placate the poor kid, none of which included getting him OUT OF THE STROLLER!!! It made me feel very, very sad.
Babies need to be held and touched by those who love them. It's NORMAL to want to be close to your baby...it's the other folks who are weird.
Valerie
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Barbara C.
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About a year ago, some magazine or newspaper around Chicago talked about how wearing your baby was the latest trend. I've never really gotten any crazy looks for the sling.
However, when I have mentioned that the baby goes with me everywhere (except for the occasional 15 minute errand) that shocks people. I'm like, "Dude, I'm her primary food supply." Then I really shock them when I say the older girls don't go to bed until 10 pm. Then when they learn the 3 1/2 year old is just now getting ready to move out of our bed, they have a apoplectic fit.
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Wearing your baby is weird?
