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KauaiCatholic
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| Posted: May 18 2009 at 2:41am | IP Logged
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(hope it's OK to say "YAY!" as well as "PRAISE BE TO GOD!")
May Mary wrap her loving, healing arms around Nicholas and all of your precious family.
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 Viviane
Grateful mama of Jonah Augustine ('01), Sophia Marie ('05) and Luke Dominic ('10)
We can do no great things; only small things with great love. -- Blessed Teresa of Calcutta
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mariB
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I am so glad to hear your update. You were charitable and when abuse happens...like it happened with your son...intervention must happen...which you did. Praying hard for your family right now...for Nicholas...for healing...
May you enjoy the peace in your household once again!
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marib-Mother to 22ds,21ds,18ds,15dd,11dd and wife to an amazing man for 23 years
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Mary K
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Praying for Nicholas and your family. Very glad to hear your in-laws are out of the house. I pray the boys get some counseling, they seem to need it. (Jokes with knives sound very scary). Just curious, did they have keys to the doors? If so, get new locks. I would be concerned about the boys returning and damaging things.
God bless,
Mary-NY
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KackyK
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Praying for Nicholas and you and your family as you get to know your home again.
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KackyK
Mom to 8 - 3 dd, 5ds & 4 babes in heaven
Beginning With the Assumption
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Ruth
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Praying for all of you.
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Ruth
mom to 7 miracles
My family blog
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guitarnan
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Renewing my prayers for you and your precious family...
Please don't berate yourself. You DID take a stand and you DID save your family. This type of bullying is insidious because it's 1) hard to believe a relative would be so vicious and 2) hard to know what's going on until your child tells you. Please consider contacting Catholic Charities or another organization that offers family counseling so that you and your son can find ways to deal with everything that has happened.
And definitely change the locks. Today.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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MarilynW
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Dear Michaela - I was so relieved to hear from you today. And for the good news. I will continue to pray for Nicholas and for all of you for healing from the trauma of the last couple of months. (and I agree with all those who mention changing the locks - even if it is only to be able to tell Nicholas so he is not afraid)
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Marilyn
Blessed with 6 gifts from God
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Carole N.
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Praying for your entire family, but especially for Nicholas. And yes, change the locks. You also need that peace of mind.
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Carole ... in Wales
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hylabrook1
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I'm so glad you and your family have gotten back your home! I agree with the suggestions to change your locks and to get counseling. You all continue to be in my prayers, Michaela.
Peace,
Nancy
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Willa
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Dear Michaela, I too am so relieved and glad to hear your update. Sometimes being Christlike means acting as resolutely as you did to protect those who rely on your protection. Well done. I am sure it was so very difficult to see your way out of this situation. I'm so glad God's graces were with you in that dark time.
As for your son, I understand he will have some working-through to do but I'd just suggest that he and you shouldn't focus the blame on yourself. He may have an instinctive desire to blame you because it feels safer right now, but really we know who were the perpetrators in this case. ... his cousins and perhaps their parents. You can acknowledge his feelings of being let down, sure, but encourage him to put the blame where it primarily belongs and of course then forgive those who did the bullying to him. I'm sure it will take some time. I hope you don't mind the advice, it's just that as a mom who tends to take everything on myself I've learned that it can be a problem if my children think that I'm basically powerful enough to be responsible for everything that happens in their whole lives, which I'm not and never can be. As parents we do the best we can and our children can only expect omnipotence from God. So please take the advice in that light.
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Willa
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Matilda
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I am so glad to hear that your nightmare is over. I agree with Willa about helping Nicholas to place the blame on the most deserving shoulders (not yours) but I would also encourage you to honestly and sincerely apologize to your son. It goes along way to start the healing process (both his and yours). Make sure that he understands that you will do whatever it takes to make him feel safe and protected. He will, with time and maturity, come to understand the complexities of this situation. God bless you for taking the strong stand that you did to protect your family!
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Charlotte (Matilda)
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with bookend boys and a double girl sandwich
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trish
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Praying Michaela!
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~ Trish ~
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Mom to 8 Wonderful Kids
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Taffy
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I'm glad that things are now changing in a good way for you and your family! It will certainly take time for your son to heal from all this. But I think that Willa gave you some good advice. Don't forget what others have already mentioned - while you were ill-treated by those who you were charitable towards, you DID take a firm stand in the end. Your son will know by your actions from now on to distance yourselves from these relatives what your true feelings are.
Continuing to pray for healing for your son and your family...
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Susan
Mom to 5 on earth and 1 in heaven
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stellamaris
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Michaela, I have been following this thread and praying so hard for your terrible situation. I am so relieved and happy to read that your home is your own again, and that Nicholas no longer has to be subjected to such torment. Counseling is a wonderful idea, and you may want to consider speaking to the counselor also to work through your own sense of guilt in the situation. Remember that our Lord also drove people out of His home-the Temple- when they were abusing and oppressing His people. He even used whips to get them to leave! Charity does not mean nicely tolerating wicked behavior. And, fwiw, I agree with all the others who advised you to put the blame on the perpetrators and not take the blame on yourself.
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In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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Jody
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PRAISE GOD!!!!!PRAISE GOD!!!!!PRAISE GOD!!!!! I Am so glad you have your home back to yourselves. I agree with all the moms above especially with Caroline. They should be glad you didn't act more "Christ-like" and use the whip!
I'm praying for your sweet Nicholas! Changing the locks will show him that you belieive him and are serious about protecting him. It will give him some security at this time.
Jody
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Jody,
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Mackfam
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Michaela -
I'm overjoyed to hear your update, and I'm filled with relief for you!
You acted in charity and good faith, first for your neighbor, and then for the protection of your family. Release yourself from the guilt you feel. It will only impede the healing that must now take place within your family.
This family's threats sound beyond the normal measure of bullying. I would agree with others about changing the locks and taking other measures to offer Nicholas some tangible feelings of security - perhaps a karate class? invoking the protection of St. Michael the protector every night at evening prayers and blessings?
Time will be the best remedy for you and your precious family and will offer the greatest measure of healing, but I rejoice with you that healing can now begin and you can now do all the tender and quiet things a mother does to make her home safe and secure for her family!
You have my continued prayers in this situation, Michaela!
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Jen Mackintosh
Wife to Rob, mom to dd 19, ds 16, ds 11, dd 8, and dd 3
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JennGM
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DEO GRATIAS ET MARIA! I'm so relieved to hear your update. Many extra prayers for your and Nicholas during this time.
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Jennifer G. Miller
Wife to & ds1 '03 & ds2  '07
Family in Feast and Feria
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stellamaris
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Just one last thought-it may be healing to remember to keep the cousin who was the bully in your prayers. It sounds as if he is a deeply disturbed individual heading for a very horrible life if he does not repent and ask for God's forgiveness. It also sounds as if his own family will not pray for him. Perhaps one reason God allowed this experience was to show you the serious need this boy has of the prayers you can offer for him. This is truly the Christ-like response, "Pray for those who persecute you."
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In Christ,
Caroline
Wife to dh 30+ yrs,ds's 83,85,89,dd's 91,95,ds's 01,01,02,grammy to 4
Flowing Streams
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TracyQ
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God calls us to love, but doesn't call us to take abuse. I believe your family was not only being extremely burdensome, but also abusive. We must protect our children from that. I'm so glad you have done so now. You were in a horrible situation that was awkward and so difficult for ALL of you! 
I'm praying for healing for your Nicolas, and for your entire fmaily.
Love,
Tracy Q.
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Blessings and Peace,
Tracy Q.
wife of Marty for 20 years, mom of 3 wonderful children (1 homeschool graduate, 1 12th grader, and a 9th grader),
homeschooling in 15th year in Buffalo, NY
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Servant2theKing
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Michaela,
The Lord has graciously blessed you and your family with immediate resolution by having the offending family members leave. Thanks be to God! May Jesus, Mary and Joseph extend continued grace and blessing upon every member of your family, especially Nicholas, as you strive to recover from the events of these past months.
It is vital that you help Nicholas recognize that you and your dh have indeed protected him by having the family members who hurt and berated him leave your home. Changing locks on your doors seems prudent and crucial for Nicholas' sense of well-being and security. Invoking spiritual protection through the use of special prayers, holy water, blessed salt, scapulars, even the blessing of your home by a priest might also bring blessed assurance to Nicholas and your entire family as you strive to recover from all that you have endured. Almighty God, along with His angels and saints, are far mightier than anyone or anything that might try to come against us...even fearful or unpleasant memories of past events.
While it is important to pray for the cousin(s) who treated your son Nicholas so abusively, it may be too much to ask of one so young, especially while he still feels traumatized by all that occurred. Perhaps you, as parents, praying privately for the cousin(s), would be better for now...if you pray as a family on their behalf right now, it might enhance Nicholas' sense that his safety and well-being are not paramount in the situation.
We have dealt with abusive situations in our family in the past. In hindsight, I would be much more aggressive and pre-emptive in confronting such matters and would not be worried in the least about offending family members who have harmed or acted abusively to any member of my family. In our situation, we were not aware of many things until long after the fact, just as you did not know the full extent of what was happening. You must not allow guilt to prevail when your focus ought to be on helping your family to heal and regain your grace-filled identity. You and your husband acted appropriately by asking the offending family members to leave...in doing so you have protected your own children and upheld the sanctity of your family and home. Now your thoughts and energy need to turn toward healing and regaining your true focus within your own family.
We will be praying to the Holy Family for profound healing and grace to enter into the hearts, minds and souls of your entire family, especially Nicholas, and that very soon you will be able to proclaim once again that your family is full of joy! May the Sacred Heart of Jesus and the ImmaculaTe Heart of Mary reign in your hearts and in your home, bringing peace, healing and joy to each and every member of your family!
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All for Christ, our Saviour and King, servant
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4Real Forums : We Pray to the Lord
Topic: for my son - my family ***UPDATE
