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LisaR
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| Posted: Dec 03 2008 at 8:41am | IP Logged
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Lisbet wrote:
Molly, Our state DNR offers a gun safety course with a nominal fee. My three older children and husband have taken it and they all really enjoyed it - there were taught gun safety and survival skills. They also took a test at the end that somehow worked with them getting a gun permit. (I didn't get in on all of the details.) (they also got to shoot some really cool guns! ;) )
Maybe you could pay for his registration for the course with the promise of a shotgun when he passes the test or completes the course? This would be a great father/son thing! |
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oh this is a super idea.
my older two and dh have done something similar here. I jsut don;t pay much attention to gun details and such :)
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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mimmyof5
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| Posted: Dec 03 2008 at 8:42am | IP Logged
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I have no ideas for gifts since I don't have a son. But I do have a wayward child. Based on her own merits, she hasn't earned much of anything, but we've never considered that when giving gifts for Christmas or birthdays. A gift is a gift. So I would urge you to find a gift for him; perhaps one that shows how much you love him. My dd loves photography so we'll give her something along those lines plus I'm putting in an album of family pictures (we'll always be her family is the message), but I don't know how to translate that into something a boy would like.
Oh, and everything she asked for is something absolutely ridiculous. She knows they're ridiculous so I don't even reply to those requests. 
Janet
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teachingmyown
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| Posted: Dec 03 2008 at 11:09am | IP Logged
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mimmyof5 wrote:
Oh, and everything she asked for is something absolutely ridiculous. She knows they're ridiculous so I don't even reply to those requests.
Janet |
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I am glad it isn't just my kid!
Thanks for the replies! I have a sick baby today so I don't have time to respond right now. Hopefully, I will get a chance later.
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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Angie Mc
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Thought of something else...what about an exotic pet? For me, exotic means a snake or reptile (I'm not very exotic  ). Or fish.
Praying baby is better soon!
Love,
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Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
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teachingmyown
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| Posted: Dec 03 2008 at 6:26pm | IP Logged
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How about some comedies? Does anyone remember how "bad" the old Saturday Night Live shows were? How about some old Steve Martin? Charlie loves watching movies but of course, being 17, he wants to watch things I don't want him too.  Any suggestions for wacky but not too "mature" shows or movies?
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In Christ,
Molly
wife to Court & mom to ds '91, dd '96, ds '97, dds '99, '01, '03, '06, and dss '07 and 01/20/11
Remembering Today
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Dec 03 2008 at 6:46pm | IP Logged
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In retrospect, vintage SNL (Belushi, Aykroyd, et. al.) was probably fairly tame. (Except the Julia Child "Save the Liver!" sketch! Blood everywhere! "Bass-O-Matic" more than makes up for that one, though. Can you tell I'm old?)
L.A. Story (Steve Martin) was pretty funny - I am from L.A. and thought it was completely hilarious, actually - there is a Ghostbusters sequel in the works, so the original movie could be a good idea. My son is on a total James Bond kick (he is 16). Dr. Strangelove is definitely wacky. You could also (perhaps?) consider DVDs of Monty Python's Flying Circus episodes (some were sort of mature, as they were on BBC).
My father's favorite film is Sir Alec Guinness's "Kind Hearts and Coronets" - as Peter Sellers did in "Dr. Strangelove," Guinness plays multiple roles. It's way older, but some of those classic films are the best ones. Fawlty Towers is pretty funny, too - John Cleese series - completely wacky British humor.
And then, there's my own personal favorite...The Muppet Show! My kids were so mystified when I rented the DVDs from Netflix...until they watched them, LOL!
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Bookswithtea
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My 15 yr old ds is getting School of Rock (mostly benign Jack Black movie that he and his friends think is hysterical...its in the $5 bin at Walmart) and Ironman. I didn't see Ironman but dh cleared it. The Dark Knight is also new and the teens around here really liked it. Ds also owns the Spiderman movies, the Lord of the Rings series and The Pacifier (your ds might not be too impressed with this one though...ds got it when he was around 12, I think).
I'd be careful with SNL comedy. We own some and because its recorded live, it tends to surprise you at times with things many mothers wouldn't like. I regret the couple I bought for dh. Although some of it was hysterical, others were so tasteless dh and I turned it off. We never watch them. Wasted money. Also, the older ones have more drug jokes.
How about war movies since he's interested in the military? Often they are high on war violence and language but low in intimacy scenes.
I know you said he isn't too much into reading, but I previewed a book for my ds that I think he's going to love. Its a Vietnam war story called Fallen Angels. Its in SL's core 300. The language is *awful* but at his age, we censor more for s*x*al stuff, so it passed my litmus tests, anyway. I think the language is honestly typical of what most guys would hear in the military anyway. I couldn't put it down. You are definitely *there* in the jungles of Vietnam.
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Blessings,
~Books
mothering ds'93 dd'97 dd'99 dd'02 ds'05 ds'07 and  due 9/10
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guitarnan
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| Posted: Dec 04 2008 at 7:21am | IP Logged
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Ironman is a fun action flick. There is one "adult" scene, fairly shadowy, no key body parts are exposed, but it's clear what's happening. It's a short scene. There are some brief bloody scenes, but nothing like Saving Private Ryan - more along the lines of bullet wounds, explosions, fire, etc. and some related injuries.
Books is right, SNL has a lot of drug-related humor. I'd forgotten about that.
Classic war films (They Were Expendable, for ex.) might be a good idea - they aren't comedies, but they're great movies.
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Nancy in MD. Mom of ds (24) & dd (18); 31-year Navy wife, move coordinator and keeper of home fires. Writer and dance mom.
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Servant2theKing
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Molly, We learned to deal with a difficult teen the hard way. Our oldest son moved away from home to live with his grandmother at age 17, and has been less connected with family ever since. Those were intensely difficult and painful times for our entire family. I think they were perhaps most painful for our son though, for I think he still has regrets over all that he lost during those years. I learned to look for the vulnerable, hurting child in him, even when he was acting out against us, which made it much easier to love him, even when we had to practice tough love with him.
I agree with all the thoughts that have been shared here about gifts, and love, being something we don't earn, but are given freely, and unconditionally.
During the most difficult years with our son a priest wisely told us that there comes a time in a parent's relationship with their child when they can no longer teach, discipline and influence, but their role simply becomes one of praying for the wayward child. We found that the difficulty lies in having a defiant child in a home with younger, impressionable children. You must love and pray for the defiant child, but hold fast to family rules, particularly those that involve influencing your younger children. One reason our son left our home was because he could no longer accept or abide by our family rules and guidelines.
With regard to a gun...our oldest son had serious anger issues, so we were never comfortable with that option for him. One of our younger sons has yearned for a rifle for many years...after completing a hunter safety course we were able to fulfill his wish by getting a rifle, which we did as a purchase for the entire family...that way he is still accountable to us with regard to safety and use and he has been very responsible and appreciative of the privilege. Making the gun a family purchase also kept it from being a possible issue of favoritism, especially in the eyes of our oldest son.
BTW, our oldest son is now thirty, married with a child of his own. Many of the issues he struggled with are coming full circle as he parents his own child. I often told him, in a loving way, that many of our differences would lessen and make more sense to him when he became a parent himself. Our relationship is much better now than it had been for many years. Things really do have a way of working themselves out over time, and through much love and prayer!
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teachingmom
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| Posted: Dec 06 2008 at 12:22am | IP Logged
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I don't know about wacky shows, Molly, but two series that dh and I both love come to mind as ones that an older teen boy might like. How about a season of either 24 or Monk on dvd? I also think the idea of gift certificates to restaurants that he might go to with friends is a great idea.
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JodieLyn
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older tv show that might be ok.. not wacky but rather "off-center" would be MASH
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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Topic: Gifts for difficult teen
