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Natalia
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Do any of you have a ds that is sports challenged? my 11yo is terrible at sports: he doesn't seem to have any strength and coordination. He can't catch or throw. He can't run fast.
I don't care if he doesn't play any organized sports. But I think that his inability are becoming more apparent as he grows and it is affecting the way he relates to other boys. It hurts my heart so to see him at co-op when the other boys are catching and throwing a football or playing basketball, he is by himself in a corner. He is self conscious and won't just get out there and try. Since he doesn't try, he doesn't get any practice. It is such a vicious cycle!
I am concerned that his self esteem is suffering. I have started to hear some negative talk on his part about how he can't do anything, how he always loose,etc. And now that he is six yo brother is playing everything better than him, things are even worse.
He is a brilliant kid.He is very successful academically but, I think that if for nothing other than social skills, he needs to learn the rudiments of sports. His dad has tried but his time is limited and there is no consistency.
I really would like to have some suggestions about what to do with him. How can I encourage him to try? What activities would be good to improve his ability? Is there anything out there for boys like him? any advice or suggestion would be appreciated. My heart is heavy for him...
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Natalia
http://pannuestrodecadadia.blogspot.com
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CKwasniewski
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I have a very similar situation with my ds, though he is only 9. I have begun to see just the same things you are talking about.
I do advise you to talk to him aobut it and explain why you think he should make an effort to learn some basics. I got resistance at first, but now he accepts it and even played softball once! He did great at bowling! 
Even though he is not interested in team sports, he IS very interested in other things like fencing, horse riding, hiking & camping and likes swimming. So that is the way we will go for "sports" and physical co-ordination.
Maybe if you can start your boy with something like these individual sports first to improve co-ordination, etc. Then, go forward with others when there is some confidence built up.
What do you think?
Ck
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Natalia
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Thank you for responding CK,
He swam in a year round team for several years. He did OK but not great. After three years we let him quit because we figured that if he didn't develop a taste for it in three year he wouldn't. When we let him quit, the condition was that he had to take on another sport. He did basketball with Upward. It was a painful experience to watch. The other boys quickly figured out he wasn't any good at it. So they never passed the ball to him. As a result he never got better. This is the first year we haven't tried any sports. A friend of his does fencing and invited him to go an observe a class. He went and didn't like it.
I really don't know what to do next...
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Natalia
http://pannuestrodecadadia.blogspot.com
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doris
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Maybe something non-competitive would be the way to go? My dc are younger but they're not very sporty, either. They recently tried climbing (indoors, on a climbing wall) and absolutely loved it.
I was always rubbish at school sports but discovered, at university, that I was reasonable at rowing. That actually made me more willing to try other things because I didn't have this negative attitude going on of 'there's no point in even trying because you'll be hopeless'.
So are there any 'minority' sports that your son would be willing to try?
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Maryan
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I think exercise is good for everyone... and especially for boys as a physical outlet. What sport is tricky.
What about running? They have various fun run mile races or 5Ks. You can practice at tracks. We sign up our oldest for fun runs twice a year. And in between he "trains." He loves getting the t-shirt and the excitement of being in a race.
On another note -- I am tall and gangly (well not so much anymore as my baby pounds fill me out) -- anywhoo... getting down certain sports techniques took a lot of practice for me. I can tell a few of my kids have inherited that trait. 
However, we live in such a sports driven house that practice does happen.
I will pass the football, baseball, shoot hoops, or dribble soccer balls with whomever I think could use extra attention (sports attention or mom attention). We talk about whatever while we're passing.
Even gangly me is getting better with all this practice!
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Maryan
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5athome
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My non athletic ds loves traditional golf & disc golf.
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Margaret
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LisaD
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My kids are very non-sporty. But, I do want them to learn to love physical activity, so dd and oldest ds take Karate (Kyokoshinkai, which is very physical), and fencing through our homeschool group. Neither of our older kids are team-sports inclined, and neither were their father and I while growing up.
I noticed recently that our YMCA offers a "sports basics" class. It seems to be a "how to dribble a basketball, how to throw a baseball, how to kick a soccerball," type class. Maybe you could check at a local Y and see if something like that was offered in your area.
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LisaR
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My now 12.5 y/o seemed the same way at age 11. He had tried Soccer, Basketball, running club, Baseball, and Swimming.
He asked to try JFL and we reluctantly said "yes"- he ended up doing great and gained so much confidence. The great thing about football is all kinds of body types are needed, and not everyone is a ball handler (although surprise, he ended up as one!)
Now he is in wrestling (another first) and is feeling so agile and confident.
I would not say that he is super athletic, but he is tired,(always a good thing with fidgety, squirrley boys!) and has lost about 8 lb (went from Husky pants to regulars being a tad loose) and feels confident when those gathering of boys occurs in parking lot or park during co-op days, etc.
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Lisa
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Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
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LisaR
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PS- I also can't say enough good things about Boy Scouts.
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
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Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
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guitarnan
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What about archery? Both of my kids shoot (noncompetitively). Ds discovered archery through Cub Scouting, but our county offers rec classes for kids. Other counties in my state have privately-run archery events for families and kids.
Archery improves discipline and concentration. It's amazing how many kids in our county sign up for classes each year, and I can see that they really enjoy it.
And...what Lisa said.
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Matilda
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We offered our son three choices: archery, fencing and swimming. He loved swimming but had no desire to do it competitively. At that point we were just paying for lessons which got to be too expensive so he switched to fencing and loves it. Most of the kids there are like him (a little on the nerdy side ) and even though they are not homeschooled, the coach really fosters a sense of respect and teamwork so they are all relatively nice to each other. There isn't a lot of downtime for them to discuss things I wouldn't want them to discuss (like in a dugout situation) but there also hasn't been any push to be overly competitive.
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Charlotte (Matilda)
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KackyK
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Martial arts is great. You feel a part of the "team" when you are all in class together, moving together, having fun. But it's individual too because you are improving yourself for yourself and at your own pace.
I have 4 taking taekwondo and they love it!
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chrisv664
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My 15yo son tried baseball back in the day, and basketball. But what he really enjoyed were the types of sports where you are more competing against your own personal best... not necessarily on a team. He loved martial arts, wrestling, and track. Now that he is in high school he runs cross country track and he loves it! He also did a season of wrestling but this year decided he wanted to do all three seasons of track.
What I have noticed is that through doing the sports he really enjoys he seems to have gained more confidence in other sports as well. So now, if a bunch of friends are just getting together for a football game, or basketball or whatever, he has no problem joining right in. He is fine doing team sports informally now. I suspect it is because of finding confidence in other types of sports. Don't know if this helps, but I did notice quite a few remarks about poossibly focusing on sports wihich were not team-oriented and I have to say I think this is what helped my son the most.
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LisaR
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chrisv664 wrote:
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What I have noticed is that through doing the sports he really enjoys he seems to have gained more confidence in other sports as well. So now, if a bunch of friends are just getting together for a football game, or basketball or whatever, he has no problem joining right in. He is fine doing team sports informally now. I suspect it is because of finding confidence in other types of sports. . |
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yes!!  this is why I am glad that we did not give up on sports altogether. I like the martial arts idea, and fencing. around here, they were both way too out of our league price wise.
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
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Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
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LisaR
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LisaR wrote:
| PS- I also can't say enough good things about Boy Scouts. |
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I meant to elaborate on this- while it is not "sports" per se, they gain so much confidence with many outdoor type sporting related activities, archery, riflery, fishing, hiking, etc etc and it is a great overall confidence booster.
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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Martha
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I would avoid team sports.
Try karate, archery, swimming...
Or simply try to get him involved in other things where he'll meet other boys that aren't sports centered.
chess, k'nex competitions, rocketry, photography...
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Martha
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Natalia
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Matilda wrote:
| We offered our son three choices: archery, fencing and swimming. |
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So Charlotte did you "force" him to choose? Could he have said I don't want to do sports period? That is what I am trying to decide. Do I continue to force him to do things in the hopes that he will find something he likes? Is this important enough? It would seem that it is. None of you have said forget it and try music or art instead.
You guys have given me some suggestions I haven't thought about. My thoughts were going in the same direction you guys have pointed me: non competitive,individual. I was also thinking, as you have mentioned, that the success in one sport make increase his confidence and spill into others. Now I have to look around in our area and see what is offered.
Oh, a question about boy scouts, if 11 to late to start?
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Natalia
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Matilda
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Well, in our case, he was interested in trying something but if he hadn't been, we probably would have required him to pick something and try it for a set period of time. I say that because my son is usually hesitant to try anything new and we often have to "require" giving something a chance. Like I said though, in this case, he was interested in trying all three although by the time he was old enough for the archery lessons, the place near our house had closed down.
Let me also just say that my husband has taken over this aspect of our son's education and we have seen so many wonderful fruits of this endeavor. If we weren't able to do fencing or anything else because of budget concerns, I would encourage my husband to take over that responsibility completely through a sports/exercise regimen at home.
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Charlotte (Matilda)
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kingvozzo
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Natalia wrote:
Oh, a question about boy scouts, if 11 to late to start?
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Absolutely not! 11 is when Boy Scouts actually begins (before that, they're Cub Scouts). If your son joins a Troop, many boys will have been Cubs, but many won't have been. They're very different programs, anyway. BS is boy-led.
I second the archery recommendation.
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Noreen
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LisaR
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Natalia wrote:
Do I continue to force him to do things in the hopes that he will find something he likes?
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I am glad we did not let any of our sons "quit" sports. I always told them it was a part of our schooling, and that I could not educate them properly in these, so therefore we as primary educators were entrusting our sons to their coaches.
We look at it as vital for their health and wellbeing.
honestly, if my boys are not doing something physically, (even if at times they have not wanted to do it atm) we all suffer!
We also tried to choose sports that were either conditioning (good exertion of self in the allotted time) and or practical (ie, not expensive, not requiring lots of special equipment, not requiring travel far to compete/get to practices, etc)
lastly, Boy Scouts is much more worth your time than Cub Scouts, so you are right on time!!
We put all of our boys in Cub Scouts late, and dh is Scoutmaster or Assistant Scoutmaster of our Parish boy Scout troop. it IS boy led, and it does create wonderful leadership qualities!
my oldest just finished a huge lighted bridge for his Eagle and we could not be prouder!
(let alone looking forward to some nice college scholarships! )
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Sports Challenged ds.
