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mary theresa
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| Posted: Oct 07 2008 at 7:00pm | IP Logged
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I never figured out how to nurse laying down with my first till she was a year.  Also, I didn't attachment-parent with her. No sling, scheduled nursings, didn't sleep with me, etc. My fertility returned at 2 mos. I wasn't suprised, though I was disappointed, because my mom always had a year of infertility and she didn't attachment parent either.
With my 2nd, I lay down to nurse alot, I nurse on demand, wore her in a sling and I slept with her for about 3/4 of the night. She had really bad colic from 4pm to 2 am and nursing was the only thing that made her happy. So basically she was attached to me for 10 hours straight. 
I was SURE that I would have a later return of fertility. But, I got my period at 3 mos. I THINK the first couple cycles were not ovulating ones, but I couldn't be sure, because I did have some of the signs of fertility.
FWIW.
Good luck with everything Theresa!
One thing though, once my fertility was back I didn't have to "worry" if they were sleeping long stretches. They both are great sleepers now. 
Thank you Jennifer for what you wrote about just relaxing and accepting what your body does. I also have wondered if I just am not doing things "right."
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Mary Theresa
mother to 3 little girls --March '06, Dec '07 and Jan '10
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juststartn
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| Posted: Oct 07 2008 at 8:35pm | IP Logged
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LOL--I can nurse once a day, for MONTHS...and still no postpartum AF. I "pushed the issue" this last time (after the boys), by using NPC--they were right at a yr old, and I'd not had anything yet...I pumped for three months (they never would latch properly, after 2 wks of NICU time, even with LC help)...so it had been "at least" 9 mos since I'd pumped at all, and I'd still not seen a return to fertility...
So it just really depends on the woman. Yes, I suppose in general, the whole AP/constant bfing thing would delay it, but shoot, I don't want it delayed any longer than it already is on its own! LOL. People think that I planned the dc--the girls are literally almost exactly 2 yrs apart--but its just that it takes my body so long to get fertility back...(insert shrug of shoulders here)...
Of course, I've got PCOS, so the fact that I've had any dc at all is a minor miracle...but I wasn't diagnosed until 2006...so.....
Anyway, that's my $02 of experience...
Rachel
Rachel
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LisaR
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| Posted: Oct 07 2008 at 9:11pm | IP Logged
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juststartn wrote:
by using NPC--they were right at a yr old, and I'd not had anything yetRachel
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hey what does NPC mean??
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
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Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: Oct 07 2008 at 10:49pm | IP Logged
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Lisa I think NPC would be natural progesterone cream
You know I thought I was doing things wrong at first myself.. but by this time (8 children, tandem nursed once and still the same thing now as 11 years ago) I figure I can't be THAT wrong  it rather amuses me when I'm not so tired it feels overwhelming  this time I was figuring the ultimate "wrong" (according to the "rules") would be getting pregnant before the first bleeding episode after 56 days but I wasn't 
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G-18, B-17, G-15, G-14, B-13, B-11, G-9, B-7, B-5, B-4
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cathochick
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| Posted: Oct 08 2008 at 7:11am | IP Logged
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It's not a matter of doing it "right," it's a general, scientific principle that more frequent nursing tends to extend the time of infertility postpartum. Yes, different women's bodies respond differently to nursing, but *generally* speaking for *most* women more frequent nursing results in delayed fertility. There are exceptions but exceptions don't make the principle invalid or nonsensical.
The hormones are at a peak in the very early morning hours (between 1 a.m. and 4 a.m.) so having a baby who is sleeping through the night without nursing will more likely result in an earlier return of fertility. In my case, as soon as the baby goes a few nights in a row sleeping through the night my fertility returns. With my first that was at 6 1/2 months postpartum and with my second it was at 9-10 months postpartum.
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Jessica
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The Dominican Bungalow
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crusermom
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I too have extended fertility and am always a little jealous of those who can conceive so easily. I felt I needed to choose between nursing or having another baby. It can take me up to a year after weaning to get my cycle back. Esp as I got older. I agree - God made us each as individuals. So funny, what I often saw as a negative so many see as a positive.
Mary
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CrunchyMom
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I think there are lots of things in modern society that "interfere" even with moms who "follow the rules."
For instance, how many times have you been stuck in the car with a crying baby--I know I'm not the only one If at home, I probably would have latched the baby on for "pacification" but in the car, it isn't possible.
For me, it doesn't make a difference, but for a mother who isn't as sensitive (or is more sensitive, however you look at it) biologically, it probably makes a difference.
Also, as much as I am a bfing advocate and nurse just about anywhere, there are modern social situations where I don't latch the baby on immediately every time I sense baby wants to, yk?
It is hard to deny the evidence that in undeveloped societies, babies are naturally spaced further on average--but even there, 4 years is the "average" meaning that for some women it will be closer.
Our diets and living in a time when food is always plentiful probably plays a role as well.
I co-sleep and don't ever use bottles or pacifiers, wear or have baby in arms all day until they are sitting and playing on their own, and I have a 24 and 27 month spacing naturally. I never cycled between my first two and cycled once between 2 and 3.
(and yes, it was funny during my second pregnancy to see the look on nurses' faces when I told them my last cycle was almost 3 years ago!)
Also, I would not question the mothers here who say they EBF. I've read enough and seen enough pictures to know that you mean it! BUT, I have seen mothers irl who claim to "follow the rules" and that it doesn't work for them, but when I am in a social situation, their baby will sit in a stroller or car seat and hang out for a period of time in which my baby would have been on my person and probably latched on 2-3 times.
Perhaps it is due more to the temperament of the baby? That's entirely possible, but while I have NEVER said "you're not doing it right," if it comes up, I will sometimes try to nonchalantly describe my habits in a way that points out my babies spend more time at they breast.
I hope I don't come across as judgmental, but I do think that there are a lot of modern social issues and habits (some impossible to overcome like modern transportation) that work against a delayed return--especially since that interference is probably just enough to affect those women who are biologically more sensitive to it.
For instance, we went on a long car trip to visit family when ds2 was only a few months old. The delayed time between nursing was enough to cause some spotting, but once we got back into our routine, it stopped and I never cycled until he was 18 months. However, I imagine that for another woman, it would have been enough to cause ovulation.
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insegnante
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| Posted: Oct 09 2008 at 10:12am | IP Logged
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JodieLyn wrote:
| this time I was figuring the ultimate "wrong" (according to the "rules") would be getting pregnant before the first bleeding episode after 56 days but I wasn't |
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Speaking of which, it wasn't when this thread began but the idea that any episode before 56 days with exclusive bfing isn't your cycles coming back is now highly relevant to my situation. I did read that women with such an episode are more likely to have an "earlier" return of fertility (earlier than what exactly I don't know.) It has been 100% exclusive breastfeeding with no pacifiers and no bottles of anything, and she's spent more time than her brothers did being carried in the Moby Wrap and otherwise being carried or sleeping very close to me rather than asking my husband to take her as often. I don't know if the closeness affects these things in any way other than simply to prompt the baby to nurse more often. She sleeps in a sidecar crib, close to me but not touching.
I think I did read somewhere that a sudden reduction in nursing rather than a more gradual one is more likely to trigger things -- I wonder if that explains what's happening to me since my baby's sleep patterns have recently changed a lot with a longer stretch at night and thus with the frequency of middle-of-the-night nursing reduced greatly even though she probably nurses the same amount total over a day. She's having her awake-with-only-brief-naps-for-hours time during the day, especially the evening, and for at least three or four days now is having a stretch of about 5 to 7 hours starting between maybe 11 p.m. and 1 a.m. Even a diaper change followed by putting her on the nursing pillow and offering to nurse may not wake her up enough to do so.
I do feel strange talking about fertility as something I might prefer not to have right now, but I can see how being fertile this soon after childbirth is probably not the physiological norm.
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Theresa
mommy to three boys, 3/02, 8/04, and 9/10, and a girl, 8/08
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LisaR
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| Posted: Oct 09 2008 at 10:25am | IP Logged
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insegnante wrote:
I do feel strange talking about fertility as something I might prefer not to have right now, but I can see how being fertile this soon after childbirth is probably not the physiological norm. |
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as someone who goes through WAY too many "feminine products", is homebound for at least the first three days of period, and struggles to maintain adequate iron supply and bleeds for at least 9-12 days per "cycle", I will openly admit that I am grateful for my many months of infertility post childbirth.
so don't feel strange!! To be nursing and menstruating at the same time could be very sapping for some women's bodies.....
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
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Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: babies' sleep and bfing infertility
