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insegnante
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| Posted: Oct 07 2008 at 1:28pm | IP Logged
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I've seen sources that said return of fertility was reliably delayed when exclusively breastfed babies did not go longer without nursing than, according to the different sources, 3 hours during the day and 5 hours at night, or 4 hours during the day and 6 hours at night. (I edited this because the way I wrote it before sounded as if this meant the baby regularly went these lengths of time without nursing, even during the day. What I think they meant was that even one stretch longer than that could be an issue.)
I'm wondering if anyone would share whether her experience reflects this? Or did you have a baby that regularly slept longer at night and so did not nurse for that long, and yet your fertility did not return for a long time, or any sooner than with other babies who never slept that long? What about if you had a baby who occasionally went longer without nursing, but didn't do so regularly -- did you notice a difference? If you could include info about your use of pumps/bottles and pacifiers that would be helpful too.
With my first baby it took a while to really get the hang of breastfeeding, so there were a lot of bottles with expressed milk, and I even used a nipple shield for a little bit; my fertility returned about as soon as possible.
With my second, the start was generally better (although, long story, he did have a few bottles of formula at the hospital,) but he slept 8-10 hour stretches at night from very early on. I had ambiguous fertility signs from early on and then a definitive return at 4 months.
This 6.5-week-old baby has had a couple of 7-or-so-hour sleep nights, not at all in a row, but overall she's sleeping more at night than she was before which was seriously close to not at all at times (like barely staying asleep -- like maybe for 10-minute stretches and only while still next to me on the nursing pillow -- between, say, 2 and 9 a.m....) Last night was 6 or 7 hours at night and then another 4 hours until 11 a.m. Just looking for anecdotal evidence to help figure out how likely this is to affect things, and how soon.
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Theresa
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Mattie
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| Posted: Oct 07 2008 at 1:33pm | IP Logged
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Well, I was fully breastfeeding with my oldest and she was sleeping through the night (8+ hours) starting at 8 weeks and I got pregnant when she was 3 months old... But I never had a period and therefore did not find out that I was pregnant well into my 5th month when I started to feel her kick!!! So I know that for me it does not work, at all!
But every one is different. The first 52 days pospartum are infertile, but other than that there is no real guarantee...
I hope this helps you a little,
Mattie
Maman to 4 wonderful mountain kids in CO
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folklaur
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| Posted: Oct 07 2008 at 1:41pm | IP Logged
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I nursed exclusively with my 2nd & also with my 3rd (until I had to stop with my 3rd due to medication I had to take.)
I was a total attachment parenting, baby-wearing, nurse-on-demand, breastfeed exclusively, co-sleeping kind of mama. I know my son (dc 2) nursed a LOT - and it wasn't because he wasn't getting much, my supply was ample, and he was a BIG baby. we didn't have any bf-ing issues - no latching trouble, nothing. I easily nursed as much as you mention. Easily.
My fertility returned within three months of child birth every time. And yes, I was already ovulating at that point.
It is not as reliable for everyone as they would like to claim.
In general, for most people, it may postpone things for a longer time.
But everyone is different, and you just never know for sure what your body is going to do.
YMMV, of course, this was just my experience, (and oh boy did I feel gypped!!!)
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folklaur
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| Posted: Oct 07 2008 at 1:46pm | IP Logged
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Mattie wrote:
| I was pregnant well into my 5th month when I started to feel her kick!!! |
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Oh my goodness! That had to have been a TOTAL shock! Oh my! I can't even imagine! (But that could also be because from about 6 weeks until I give birth I am throwing up constantly, so we would have that as a tip-off.) 
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JodieLyn
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yep Laura..
I've exclusively nursed all of mine.. BUT they do sleep longer at night (4 hrs practically right away and then 6-7 hrs by 2 months).. I was thinking that night time feedings needed to be more often than that 5-6 hr thing though.. more like every 4 hrs.
And the children we did not space with NFP are as close together as 15 months and as far apart as 19 months.
anything before 56 days doesn't count according to NFP rules.. but I always have a bleeding cycle around that time.. 53-60 days.. and then a longer space 36-40 days after that I have the next bleeding cycle (not really AF since I'm not ovulating) but it's usually not until after the next bleeding cycle that I start ovulating.. but that can vary but usually 4-6 months post partum is when I start ovulating.
But I have a good friend that goes to 9 months before anything starts up.
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LisaR
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my babies have all kind of used me as a pacifier in the night, attached on even if not really sucking for milk, kwim??
with all of them, fertility did not return until about 15 mo postpartum.
I always (ok, 90% of the time or so) lay down with them to nurse often during the day too, and almost 100% for naps.
I overproduce prolactin due to an auto immune disorder, and discovered early on that lying down to nurse greatly reduced the force of the spray! 
however, the overproduction of prolactin I am sure played a part in the fertility not returning either...
hth,
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
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Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
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LisaR
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PS, fwiw, everyone I have spoken with who has a delayed return of fertility (after 6 mo postpartum) is nursing much more often than every 6 hours at night, (heck, I'd call a 6 hour stretch at night "sleeping through the night"!!)
I think it is more like every 2-3 hours latching on during the night...in fact, you can stretch out nursings during the day more easily without fertility returning. it is in the dark, lying down, nighttime, which seems to "count" for more...
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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Mackfam
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I nurse frequently at night. The baby sleeps with me. We nurse about every 2-3 hours...I don't know how often really - she wakes up and asks, we nurse, we go back to sleep - I don't look at the clock. The baby is with me all day and again, nurses on demand - every pregnancy.
My fertility returns within 2-3 months postpartum - every pregnancy.
I think Theresa, this may depend more on your body than baby's nursing demands. Some friends experience the 18 month natural infertility period no matter the stretches in between nursing. They're attachment mamas as I and others here are as well. And, I know plenty of mamas that have an early return of fertility as I do.
There is so much promotion made regarding your need to do things just right and thus be rewarded with natural infertility. I submit that in the end God has designed us all with individual physiologies and those are each different, therefore a return of fertility will be different for each woman. I think it is unfair to make a sweeping statement that proposes that breastfeeding, if done *right* will delay fertility.
Just my opinion.
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LisaR
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Mackfam wrote:
I think it is unfair to make a sweeping statement that proposes that breastfeeding, if done *right* will delay fertility.
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hope this wasn't directed at me!!??
I had just wanted to mention that anecdotally, of the women that I know, one thing that seems to be in common is a frequent lying down to nurse often in the dark in the PM.- if anything I would never advocate a certain type of nursing as a reward for infertility. just cautioning that whomever said every 6 hours at night might be greatly mistaken!
off to make some more tea!
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
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many little saints in heaven!
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MrsM
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My fertility after childbirth has been completely unpredictable, with the exception of the last baby who is bottlefed (NICU issues). Fertility has returned anywhere from 6 weeks to 9 months after giving birth. All four babies were fed on demand, so I really don't know what made the difference.  I'm sure it isn't arbitrary, but it feels like it is!
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folklaur
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Mackfam wrote:
I think it is unfair to make a sweeping statement that proposes that breastfeeding, if done *right* will delay fertility.
Just my opinion.
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Thanks for sharing/saying this, Jennifer. I was told, more than once, that I must not have been doing it "right." So, I appreciate when it is recognized that it can be done "right" but still not have the same outcome. so, thanks.
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Lisbet
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I could just say 'major dittos' to everything Jennifer wrote, (I listened to Rush this afternoon, can ya tell?  ) except I'd turn 'she' into 'he' and make that two babies that I nurse. (my 14 month old and my 28 month old.) My fertility has returned 2-4 months each time.
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Mackfam
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| Posted: Oct 07 2008 at 3:26pm | IP Logged
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LisaR wrote:
Mackfam wrote:
I think it is unfair to make a sweeping statement that proposes that breastfeeding, if done *right* will delay fertility.
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hope this wasn't directed at me!!?? |
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Oh dear, NO!!! I'm sorry, Lisa. I should have re-read that before I posted.
Let me explain a bit more. When we were first Catholic and also brand new parents this whole breastfeeding thing was explained to us in this way - you nurse on demand, you practice attachment parenting, etc, you experience delayed fertility. This was important for us because I experience life threatening hyperemisis with each pregnancy, so I was hoping for a bit of a breather to just be able to relax and enjoy the new baby. But, my fertility returned around 3 months pp. I felt like I must have done something wrong! So, the next baby I resolved to do it better. Again, early return of fertility. I consulted some who were trained in NFP and ecological breastfeeding. The same thoughts and instructions were conveyed. I tried again. Another early return. But, by now I knew I wasn't relaxing - I was too busy fretting over when my fertility would return. I began to let go and just accept that this was the physiology God had planned for my body from the beginning.
I'm so sorry dear Lisa. I do believe that there is science to back up the idea of ecological breastfeeding naturally delaying fertility. And, I would agree with you that your observations of laying down with baby in the dark would be of benefit. I apologize for bringing my silly baggage into the conversation! And I pray I didn't hurt you, Lisa! That was never my intention.
What I should have said is that we're all made differently. Do try to nurse baby as often as they ask, but don't feel guilty if God offers you the gift of fertility earlier than the books say it should be there.
I'm very sorry Lisa and others!!! I should have read and prayed before I posted earlier!
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Jen Mackintosh
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LisaR
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| Posted: Oct 07 2008 at 3:44pm | IP Logged
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insegnante wrote:
| . Just looking for anecdotal evidence to help figure out how likely this is to affect things, and how soon. |
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Jennifer, I just wanted to make sure I had not offended you .
Theresa was looking for people's experience, and I think we have both shared that nicely here
PS Theresa, good for you hanging in with breastfeeding even under not great circumstances. I hope that this time is your smoothest yet!
I should have added that for the first time I had to pump exclusively/bottlefeed with my 5th (tounge-tied, my too large anatomy, lost over 1.5 lb below birthweight) for many weeks.
It was so hard to juggle it all and then try to relactate.
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Lisa
dh Tim '92
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Lisbet
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| Posted: Oct 07 2008 at 3:46pm | IP Logged
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OH goodness, I missed your second post too Lisa. I didn't think that Jennifer directed her remarks to anyone here either.
I think that sometimes, those of us that have an early return get defensive (well, at least I know I do...) I once had a woman say "you must not breastfeed" when I was pg and had a babe in arms. When I replied that I do, she said then that I must not do it 'right'.
I used to fret about it - was I doing something wrong? Why didn't it 'work' for me?? Until it occured to me that like always, we can do all that we can, all that we think is 'right', but, ultimately, it's His call! :)
So, because of my personal experience, I try to share that it's not always about a set of rules and stuff...kwim? I too, carried some baggage into this post.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
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Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
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Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
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Josephine born 6.11.12
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insegnante
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For those who might return to the thread but not reread the original I wanted to point out that I clarified: "I've seen sources that said return of fertility was reliably delayed when babies did not go longer without nursing than, according to the different sources, 3 hours during the day and 5 hours at night, or 4 hours during the day and 6 hours at night. (I edited this because the way I wrote it before sounded as if this meant the baby regularly went these lengths of time without nursing, even during the day. What I think they meant was that even one stretch longer than that could be an issue.) "
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Theresa
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Lisbet
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Ya know what Theresa, I don' think I've ever read that, but it may apply to me. There have been days where we have been very busy, on the road alot, baby happy in the sling but not nursing, etc... that he/she may have went 4 hours without nursing. Certainly I cannot recall a night in the past 13 years that 5 or 6 hours went by without me nursing someone - but during the day - a 4 hour stretch, while rare, has indeed happened.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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insegnante
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As for night nursing seeming to matter more, isn't it (something like) that prolactin is higher or more easily produced at night and that somehow has more effect on the relevant hormones? I was thinking that is why a somewhat longer nighttime stretch is less likely to speed the return of fertility, because what nursing there is at night still does more to keep the hormonal balance in favor of infertility.
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Theresa
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jdostalik
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Hi everyone,
I have been more typical in my delays of fertility. In my experience, breastfeeding on demand and sleeping with my nurslings has always delayed my fertility to right about 13 months each time. But, my babies nurse ALL THE TIME--literally. I don't count how often they nurse or I would go crazy. I don't think I've ever had a baby go more than 3 hours without nursing during the day and at night--well the "all night mom cafe is open" and they know it!
But, now as my child-bearing years are waning, I kinda wish that my fertility had returned sooner, but Lisa and Jennifer, you are right--God made us all different--the key is to just love God and our kids the best we can!
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Jennifer in TX
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doris
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Just another example of how differently God made us all -- by the time ds1 was 6 months old I was only feeding him once in the morning and once at bedtime, not at all during the night, and my cycles didn't return at all... until I found out I was pg with my daughter about the time of ds's 1st birthday. I like to think of them having been adjacent eggs
It did make the 'When was your last menstrual period?' question a bit embarrassing, though...
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: babies' sleep and bfing infertility
