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domchurch3
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My husband and I are going back and forth discussing wether or not we want to learn the sex of the baby at the 20 week sonogram. I know it may seem like a trivial subject to some, but trivial can be good because it helps me focus on something positive instead of worrying about the pregnancy. We waited until the birth of our daughter and it was an awesome experience to learn that the baby that everyone guessed was a boy turned out to be a girl. Anyways, just wondering about your stories and insights on the matter. Did any of you learn the sex and then wished you had kept it a surprise?
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Michaela
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Well, with my twins we were told both were boys.  We picked Nathan and Thomas for names. Olivia still gets a kick out of that.
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Michaela
Momma to Nicholas 16, Nathan 13, Olivia 13, Teresa 6, & Anthony 3
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nissag
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I always find out, if we can. Mostly I just say that I'm too old for surprises. I want to know which box of baby clothes to get out of my MIL's attic.
If you're not sure, then leave it for a surprise.
Blessings,
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Nissa
Deacon's wife, mother of eleven, farmer, teacher, creator, cook.
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mellyrose
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We've always found out -- I figure it's a surprise no matter when we find out!
With Colin, I was 28 weeks along before I knew I was pregnant, so I really wanted to know as much as I could as fast as I could since my "pregnancy" was only 12 weeks long. DH wanted to wait, but I couldn't stop myself from saying "THERE'S YOUR SON!" when he came into the room.
With Nate, DH wanted to wait again, but I wanted to know. I was SURE he was a girl, even though 3 ultrasounds showed him as a boy (there were some early issues, so we had numerous u/s). I really didn't believe he was a boy until he was born. Silly, I know.
With Lydia, the boys really wanted to know. They came to the appointment with us and told the tech they wanted a sister because they already had a brother and could she please look and make sure there was no penis? I was willing to wait this time, but not enough to prevent us from finding out.
I don't regret finding out, but I could have survived not knowing until birth as well. I can imagine the excitement of discovering the sex at the time of birth, but I clearly never had the patience for it!
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Melanie in AZ
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juststartn
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I'm in the "no patience" crowd.
Plus, I like to have the clothes all washed and in the drawers--up to 6 mos sizes, lol...
LOL
Rachel (who now has clothes for both genders! WOOHOO!)
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domchurch3
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I do like the element of surprise and I always thought learning the sex after the birth would give me something to look forward to after a tiring labor, but c'mon, I think holding a wee one in my arms, especially after 6 years of thinking it would never happen for us again is enough to look forward to. 
I think what I may propose to my darling tonight is that we find out and to keep the element of surprise in it and promise not to tell anybody else. Of course, I think I already proposed this plan and he laughed knowing keeping it a secret was highly unlikely.
I love hearing everyone else's thoughts, and I'm quite sure we will change our minds a dozen times. Again, it beats worrying about the baby.
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folklaur
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I have felt both ways - BUT dh is always able to tell on the ultrasound. I, OTOH, see NOTHING in the u/s or u/s pics but grey smudges....
I think waiting is fun! I also think finding out is fun, and if you want to plan anything, you can.
But, honestly, if you CAN wait, then I would. How very exciting, really!
Also (isn't this bad?) because it always surprises people when you say that you are NOT finding out. I love the reactions.
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DivineMercy
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We find out so we can name the baby as soon as possible. We liked calling our boys by their names before they were born. As for stories about ultrasounds I have two. I had a friend who didn't find out what they were having and neither the nurses nor the doctor "announced" it to them. They whisked him off across the room for the APGAR tests and the dad had to holler after them to find out what he was. Another woman I know found out what she was having by ultrasound and went and bought sex specific clothing, very excited. They were told they were having a boy. When the baby was born the doctor even told them "Here's your son!" As you might have guessed they had a girl and found out while they were doing the tests.
Too funny,
Michelle
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Lisbet
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domchurch - oh my! I should dig up the thread I had about this when I was pg last time. It was the first time I ever had the opportunity to find out. (I generally don't have ultrasounds, but b/c of twin loss, we had one at 20 wks. to check on the status of twin.) I finally decided to tell the tech NOT to tell me, but NOT to move the screen, if I figured it out, then so be it. He was SOO obviously a boy! No questions or doubts about it. I was pretty excited for a day or two about it, but the 'newness' wore off and I found myself kind of regretting that I knew.
So, After not finding out 8 times, then finding out once, I would never willingly find out again. But like I said, unless something is wonky, I don't have the opportunity anyway.
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stefoodie
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We've always kept it a surprise -- figure there are very few surprises left in life and we want this to be one of them. With our 3rd one, however, the dr. FORGOT that we had already told him we did not want to know that he just blurted it out. Very uncharacteristic of him, really, but at the time I think he was really worried that our Migi had hydrocephaly (I was required to take 3 ultrasounds including a hi-res one 1 hr away just to be sure) -- turns out he just had a big head and big eyes . Don't know yet if we want to know about this one. We have 3 weeks to decide...
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Matilda
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My story is the opposite of Lisbet's. With #3, we had chosen to "be surprised" since we had already had one of each gender and so recently. I had boy things AND girl things right at my fingertips! We kept telling everyone "we want to be surprised" BUT... they kept offering their opinions. Those opinions in combination with my maternal instinct (that pregnancy went an awful lot like my pregnancy with my son) I was convinced I was carrying a boy. When baby popped out and the midwife stuttered, "It's a...it's a...GIRL!" I was certainly surprised. But then I was confused, and felt really distant from her. Like I didn't know her. Almost like... she wasn't mine. I hated that feeling. I was so wound up about it, I couldn't even give her a name. We went back to the hospital after I was released to sign her birth certificate. I had a huge amount of guilt over not "knowing" this child before she was born. I had also already made her a Baptismal gown that was supposed to be neutral, but when I looked at it after her birth, screamed BOY. Instead, I went out and bought the frilliest thing I could find and saved that one for my next child who was a boy.
Anyway, I like to "get to know" the baby inside me and I guess, for me, that includes gender. I have to know. I like to talk to the baby and I just can't do that if I don't know who they are.
Hope your anxieties are manageable. Hang in there. What a wonderful little blessing you have been given!
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Fe2h2o
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We have waited to find out. With Puggle, we did get the sonographer to write it on a bit of paper for us, which she put in an envelope. We opened it after he was born:-)
I have another friend who comments that she prefers to wait... because then if she were to have any disappointment about what they are, the rush of hormones post delivery will sweep her past it:-)
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Jess
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We have always found out before. Our oldest dd we found out 2 days before (not sure why we didn't just wait) because we didn't think we would get another u/s after a very early one. We found out really early with the next baby because we had to have a amnio with her at 15 weeks. The next baby we were in the military then (first 2 babies were born before my dh joined the army) and the policy at the hospital was that the dr wasn't supposed to tell the sex of the baby. But he left the picture on the screen for me to look for a long time. Well everything looked pretty different than the 2 babies we already had so I said that the baby looked like a boy and the dr looked at the tech and nodded (he thought I didn't see) so I was pretty sure he was a boy. My dh wasn't able to be in there because he was staying at home with our 2 girls. He couldn't believe we were having a boy and still didn't believe it until he was born. Well the next baby we found out because dh was about to deploy and would be gone for her birth. Same thing with our youngest dd. He was deployed for her birth too. I wanted to be surprised but he said it helps him bond with the baby if he knows what his or her name is, especially if he is going to be gone for the birth.
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Fuzzy
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I used to think that I would be in the "wait until the baby comes out" category, but with my first pregnancy, I could not be more opposite! I have found out with every pregnancy because I like to know. We have had a hard enough time with names, that I think if I had to pick BOTH genders, the poor kid would have NO name for weeks!
I love getting to know my little one and call them by the right pronoun. It makes me feel closer to them, and helps me to bond with them more.
My sister always says "the Blessed Mother knew what she was having!" 
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Lisa R
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We didn't find out with our first but did with the second. We were told on THREE different ultrasounds (the last one at 36 weeks!!) that HE was a GIRL! We had been calling him "Sarah" the whole nine months. Our son, Josh, talked to "Sarah" all the time in my tummy. Well when the doctor said we had a big, healthy BOY we were so shocked.  Josh was quite confused and kept asking us "but where's Sarah?".  Poor kid. We love to tease Jake now about that story.
And yes, we did the pink room and all the little dresses and all! Dh had to make some quick changes as no son of his was going into a pink room!
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Red Cardigan
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I didn't find out with number one or two, b/c there wasn't any need. But since they were both girls I did ask with number three--b/c we'd never had to consider the whole "circumcision" question! It was nice knowing she was a girl, too, and getting to settle on her name.
Because it's been so long, I definitely want to know if and when God blesses me again--because I'll be too impatient to wait a whole nine months!
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marianne
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Even though we do have hand me downs for both genders, I like to shop when I'm pregnant. Not overboard, but I like to buy a few little things for my new bundle. I've waited for the surprise 4 times, and found out the gender twice. I very much enjoyed the shopping element on those two times that I knew the gender. It made waiting very sweet, to be able to picture my baby in some cute little doll clothes.
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teachingmom
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Never wanted to know ahead. Neither did dh. We loved being surprised each time!
(And you'd think we would have been pretty curious. What with all the girls and all.  )
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domchurch3
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I'm having so much fun hearing everyone's VERY different life experiences on this subject. That "Sarah story" cracks me up and also the mental images of the nurses rolling the child away before the parents knew what it was... LOL!
With our first child, Daniel and I decided we would keep it a surprise. Everyone had fun with all their theories and everyone but my father-in-law guessed it would be a boy. I was not one of those women who "just knew" it was a certain gender. People told me I was having a boy so that's what I expected. I never connected with the baby as a boy, though in the womb calling it by the chosen name or anything. We delivered at a Catholic birthing center and Dan was able to catch the baby. He had thought it was a boy because of the swollen genitals and without saying anything he passed the baby to me. I asked him to lift our baby up so I could see what it was and when I cried out in total surprise, "You're a girl!" loud shouts of joy from all our relatives in the next room could be heard! It was a very sweet memory.
I'm thinking since we did not regret waiting and for some reason there may be that chance of regret for finding out we might just hold out. But...
I do so love the idea of shopping for a few outfits beforehand, before I'm too tired to care and, afterall,
Mary knew she was having a son.
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SusanMc
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We didn't find out with our first and we're not finding out for this pregnancy either. I was curious but my DH really enjoys being surprised. One of the benefits is NOT getting a bunch of clothes/toys etc. in the months leading up to the birth. Our families sort of go overboard with the gift giving plus we get tons of hand-me-downs from my sister. That plus a small house makes for a lot of trips to Goodwill and repeated requests for fewer clothes. If my family found out this one was going to be a girl, the UPS truck would be here everyday and I would end up clothing an entire preschool.
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Boy Or Girl Ultrasound Stories
