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Cay Gibson
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| Posted: June 25 2008 at 7:16pm | IP Logged
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Dear Lisa,
I know how you feel. Been there. Had that same discussion with dh. 
It seems many couples are having to reevaluate finances and some dreams are having to be put on hold or in the attic. We are all being called to sacrifice. Yes, it hurts. Yes, it's even painful and disappointing.
These ladies have given you great suggestions and I'd love to hear if you are able to put some of the suggestions to good use. All large families need a heroine to show them how it can be done. Joann has done so with grace and fun. I see the same spirit in you.
I love watching your family living and loving in your house (via blog).  Yes, newer, bigger houses are nice and fun and exciting. But I always feel right at home when I visit you.
From my experience, your children will not notice or mind the small spaces. To them, your house is large enough to hold all the memories, all the love, all the good times, all the tears, and all the dreams. It holds everything they need, everything they want, and then some.
I'll be praying you find contentment in your wonderful little house.
One final suggestion. How about seeing where you can cut back and save as though you had that larger house note. Pray and save for a year. Reevaluate your circumstances and situation next June. Things change so fast. So fast. Good luck!
__________________
Cay Gibson
"There are 49 states, then there is Louisiana." ~ Chef Emeril
wife to Mark '86
mom to 5
Cajun Cottage Under the Oaks
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Angie Mc
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| Posted: June 25 2008 at 9:51pm | IP Logged
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 Lisa! I read your post but have no time to read all the wonderful replies here right now. I wanted to post something that popped into my head before I forget:). Somewhere in the book Organizing from the Inside Out, the author explains that there is such a thing as a space that is too small for its function. Now, this wasn't the main gist of the book, but the whole book might help you to figure out objectively if you can or can't squeeze out more space from your space. This surely isn't an answer to all of your concerns, but I hope it might help a little. Praying for you.
Love,
__________________
Angie Mc
Maimeo to Henry! Dave's wife, mom to Mrs. Devin+Michael Pope, Aiden 20,Ian 17,John Paul 11,Catherine (heaven 6/07)
About Me
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10 Bright Stars
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| Posted: June 25 2008 at 9:57pm | IP Logged
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Lisa,
I will definately pray for you! We also "pretended" to have a larger mortgage as Cay suggested while we lived in a small mobile home on the property we knew we would eventually build on. That was hard since it was a tight space, but it paid off. We gained confidence that we could do it. Your husband is probably right to be a little worried in this uncertain market though with all things increasing daily in price.
Having said that..can you invest a little in your current site till he is ready to make the move? My SIL lived in a smaller home until just recently. One thing that did WONDERS for her was to put up a tall privacy fence around her ENTIRE back yard. It walled off the whole back of the house to the very edges of her property. (whichever way would work in your yard.) That way, it is as if you are gaining an ENTIRE outdoor room!!! Not only are the kids free to roam out there since they are safely gated, you feel spacious, the neighbors can't see in. I can't recommend it enough!!
Also, what about building up? Can you raise the roof? I don't know if that is super pricey or not, but maybe you could build an addition on part of the top of the house. A friend of mine recently built up from her ranch style house and it looks really nice!! Just a thought.
__________________
Kim married to Bob (22y)
Mom of 11 blessings:
Bobby 19, David 17, Noah 14,
Mary 12, Gracie 10,
Isabelle and Sophia 8,
Gabrielle 6,
William Anthony 4, Joseph 3 and Luisa Marie - born in M
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KC in TX
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| Posted: June 26 2008 at 10:21am | IP Logged
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Everyone has given you such great advice, Lisa. I'm just going to give you a great big
__________________
KC,
wife to Ben (10/94),
Mama to LB ('98)
Michaela ('01)
Emma ('03)
Jordan ('05)
And, my 2 angels, Rose ('08) and Mark ('09)
The Cabbage Patch
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LisaR
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| Posted: June 26 2008 at 11:08am | IP Logged
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I read that book!! We've repurposed a dining area into mainly school/computer/desk, because a dining room table would not fit!! (unless it was a 4-6 seater)
Our eat in kitchen area is smaller, but square, so we sqeezed in a square 8 seater table. It has to be pushed back and pulled out, but it works.
One thing that I have had to let go of is entertaining much 
but I try to a bit more in the summer...
I just had to get rid of 5 shelves worth of books. we simply were so crowded, and something had to go, so first it was the books and bookcase, then it was a chair and little side table with lamp.
there is a freedom into having less/getting rid of things vs acquiring.
not a slam on the thread, but when I read the thread about "top 10 kitchen tools" it was freeing to read that I don't own most of what was discussed. simply no room, and we are fine with a few good knives, smaller pots and 9x13 pans (which barely fit), and measuring cups and wooden spoons.
I have the bookmobile in my neighborhood each week. We've turned into book borrowers more than owners, and I love that!!
I also like the suggestion of looking at photos/reading about those in other countries (even Europe!) who live in very small spaces.
We tend to do that every Lent...
anyone we speak to who has lived in Rome, England, etc talks about how they "did it" with much less room.
__________________
Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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LisaR
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| Posted: June 26 2008 at 11:12am | IP Logged
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PS it also is hard as our kids grow and grow!! how can I squeeze my 165lb 6ft 14 y/o even into his bed anymore?? he is still growing!! and is in a 10x10 room with two others.....
__________________
Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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SimplyMom
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| Posted: June 26 2008 at 12:16pm | IP Logged
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You can do it! I know it is hard, but there will be a way. I know a family who had their daughters use the living room to sleep "Japanses" style. The bedding was stored durring the day. I am sure there are a lot of ideas on how to make more room from less space.
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Darcee
SimplyMom from Simply Catholic
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Lisbet
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| Posted: June 26 2008 at 12:49pm | IP Logged
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I just re-read what I wrote and realized just how selfish I sound...  I hope it didn't sound like I was downing my husband, I couldn't ask for a better provider - though I tend to take him for granted sometimes.
Of course we made up, regrouped, and had a very good discussion of the topic. We realised that we both share the same frustrations and we let it boil over. We spent some time last night reorganizing our finances once again and set a more realistic goal. We will move forward with this, just not this year.
In the mean time he has given me some new ways to work my household money and some small goals to meet. I re-worked some furniture and posted some on freecycle.
Thank you all for your ideas and encouragement, you are all so very uplifting and understanding - without sugar coating it! 
__________________
Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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LisaR
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| Posted: June 26 2008 at 12:56pm | IP Logged
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Lisbet wrote:
I just re-read what I wrote and realized just how selfish I sound... . I re-worked some furniture and posted some on freecycle.
Thank you all for your ideas and encouragement, you are all so very uplifting and understanding - without sugar coating it!
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you did not sould selfish, just disappointed that your expectations were not being met..isn't that a good feeling to move things around???
I always look for encouragement for living in small spaces. I'm glad that people have posted some great ideas here, and shared encouraging family stories!!
we until recently had one very small bathroom. dh was honestly going to jsut hook up a urinal directly to the main pipe in the basement, it wasn't too much money at all, and esy to clean!! 
__________________
Lisa
dh Tim '92
Joseph 17
Paul 14
Thomas 11
Dominic 8
Maria Gianna 5
Isaac Vincent 9/21/10! and...
many little saints in heaven!
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amyable
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I don't think you sounded selfish either, just really frustrated!! I think it's especially frustrating to try to do what you and others are doing without the support and example of family and neighbors going through similar things. Dh and I call it "flying blind" and it can be so hard/lonely/scary. You are heroic and beautiful. Lisa! 
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Amy
mom of 5, ages 6-16, and happy wife of 
The Highly Sensitive Homeschooler
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mimmyof5
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I certainly didn't think you sounded selfish. I think my comment about husbands might have sounded that way, but please believe me, I didn't mean that.
Speaking for myself I get very involved in my little day to day world: keeping the house, cooking, washing, teaching the children, making it through until bedtime. My husband has a much broader view than I do. He's not only looking at today, this moment, but he is looking 10 to 20 years down the road, keeping the family fed, clothed and housed, being prepared to meet unforeseen medical needs or replacing the septic tank when it no longer handles the number of people in the house, retirement for us. I often times find we're frustrated about the same issues, but our overall view is different. That's where we complement one another - hopefully.
I don't post much but read daily, and you are one of the least selfish persons I've ever 'met'.
Blessings,
Janet
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MommyD
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I don't think you sound selfish at all. I really need *space*. Too many things in a room (even if they are where they belong) make it impossible for me to think.
Have you looked at buying a house instead of building?
Melissa
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Erin
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| Posted: July 02 2008 at 12:05am | IP Logged
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Lisa
How are you feeling this week? I pray you're having a better week. I often think of your situation and pray for you; I think remembering your neighbours that that's the real issue, your tiny fishbowl yard.
Houses can be worked around, it sounds trite I know but true, we live in a small house 1004square feet for nine soon to be ten people and I remember the fist six months as being hard for me to to adjust. I was used to a house more than three times that size. Now I love my little house, less housework.
It teaches you to be creative anyway, you should see the tiny bed dh made ds2 this weekend. It is so cute, I call it the dolls bed, ds2 has moved in with his three big brothers in a room that is only 150 square feet. (I needed to settle him before the baby comes) The cot mattress fits on the bed and the bed is quite low to the ground, it just makes me smile.
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Erin
Faith Filled Days
Seven Little Australians
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nissag
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Lisa
You don't sound selfish at all to me. In fact, I feel much better knowing that you are going through what we're going through. Sounds like Donna Marie is having the same struggle now, too. In addition to a houseful of kids and a small home, we run our family business from one of the rooms. We actually share it with the children's homeschool library, which is extensive.
I can totally relate to the bruised hips, and the bathroom frustration. Our basement can't be finished without an expensive procedure to stop seepage. Yep, I get it. And I've had those 20 minute blow-outs with Brian. I have tried offering it up, sometimes with great success, sometimes not so much. I pray constantly, and it does help. I recently enlisted the intercession of Brian's grandmother, God rest her soul.
There are days when I feel I'll go completely demented. There are days when I'm so grateful to have this old shack to keep us dry. I know that you must have days of each, too. I say, "sic God on your hubby". I've had such good results asking God to help my husand see a way through things. Works so much better than when I try to make him see my point.
Comisserations, my dear. I'm off to check out the link Angie typed in her reply to you. I'm sure that will inspire me, too. I'll ask St. Joe to help you find a new, bigger place.
Blessings,
__________________
Nissa
Deacon's wife, mother of eleven, farmer, teacher, creator, cook.
At Home With the Gadbois Family
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Lisbet
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| Posted: July 04 2008 at 2:10pm | IP Logged
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I freecycled a few things - a changing table that I always wanted to use but never have for instance. And my neighbor gave us a computer center to replace our computer desk - it is taller and thinner and makes SUCH a difference in our dining room now! :)
My attitude about this is much better now too. Sure, I have my moments, but I keep them to myself or, like my husband suggested - offer it up. I've certainly reached a level of acceptance. We are plugging away at our financial goals and have decent time frame.
Thank you all for your suggestions and prayers.
__________________
Lisa, wife to Tony,
Mama to:
Nick, 17
Abby, 15
Gabe, 13
Isaac, 11
Mary, 10
Sam, 9
Henry, 7
Molly, 6
Mark, 5
Greta, 3
Cecilia born 10.29.10
Josephine born 6.11.12
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nissag
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| Posted: July 09 2008 at 3:47pm | IP Logged
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Been thinking about you, Lisa. How's this week going? Sometimes it really is one day at a time. We've been dividing our time between preparing for a launch, and looking for a new home. It is, all at once, very frustrating, and very exciting.
There is so much here I need to go through, but it's all I can do to keep the crud under control from the constant in-and-out of the children. I keep thinking of you with your little group in your sweet little house and praying for the grace and strength you have to be outwardly grateful for the roof above our heads.
AMEN!
Blessings,
__________________
Nissa
Deacon's wife, mother of eleven, farmer, teacher, creator, cook.
At Home With the Gadbois Family
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Tell me I CAN do this.
