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Syncletica
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| Posted: May 26 2008 at 11:14pm | IP Logged
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Oh my gosh, Michelle. Was she 'forewarned'? If so, when did you tell her? I couldn't imagine. My eldest is only 7, I'm not in the least prepared to tell her about that yet...
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Jess
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| Posted: May 27 2008 at 10:21am | IP Logged
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I knew it was coming. My dd 11 just started last night. We had talked about it a few times and she did fine and was actually happy (we really talked a lot about how it was God's gift). She seems to be fine and actually in a better mood than before. We have used the Mother's Helper every year since she was 9 and she really looks forward to the talks we have.
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Jess
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mama to dd(13), dd(11), ds(9), dd(6), and dd (2), and baby girl born Sept 14!
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hylabrook1
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| Posted: May 27 2008 at 12:06pm | IP Logged
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So what's up with yesterday? Same thing happened here with dd12. When I asked if she knew what it was all about, she confidently described the process. Her response to my surprised look was, "One of my older sisters told me this years ago." Hmmm...I guess that's what comes of sharing the bathroom with other young women.
Peace,
Nancy
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MichelleW
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| Posted: July 07 2008 at 5:04pm | IP Logged
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Syncletica,
Sorry I missed this last month. Yes, she was forewarned, but it didn't help much. When she was 7 I became aware of some body changes in her that seemed early. I talked to the pediatrician who told me that she would start within a year of the onset of those changes. That put her at 8! (though luckily she didn't start till she was 9--I was 12 when I started). I decided it was better to prepare her than have her scared.
We never sat down and had a long conversation. We talked about it a little at a time. I always put it in terms of the wonderful way God made us. I brought it up many times over that year at random times. I also taught (rather I thought I taught her) the little tips from NFP to determine when it is coming.
Anyway, one Saturday morning she came to me concerned that she had done something wrong because she was bleeding. She had started the day before, but was a little afraid to tell me. I was so heartbroken over this. We have always had such an open relationship, and she doesn't get in trouble for "doing things wrong." Especially something that would induce bleeding! I still don't get why she wouldn't come to me right away.
Once I told her what it was she was so happy! It was like she knew all the information I had given her, but hadn't put it together with what was happening to HER. She was excited and she told everyone in the house! She knew exactly what to do and took to it right away. No problems. Since then she has taken care of it herself.
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Michelle
Mom to 3 (dd 14, ds 15, and ds 16)
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snowbabiesmom
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| Posted: July 08 2008 at 2:36pm | IP Logged
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Our 11dd has had three cycles so far and they have all been three weeks apart.. I showed her how to mark the calendar and then count for the next possible cycle. We had prepared quite a bit for it and we called it her "gift" I actually think it has brought us closer. Luckily swim lessons ran for two weeks an we were able to participate. At home, when the littles want to play in our small yard pool, I have offered for her to play with the sprinkler or hose. It think it was comforting for her to know that some of her friends also have received their gifts from God as well.. it helps to know (for her) that she's not the only one) I am interested in the book, thanks for sharing.
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Lisbet
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| Posted: July 08 2008 at 3:28pm | IP Logged
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Well, an update here. She had one period and nothing since. We haven't had to deal with the swim issue at least. I know we should expect irregularity at this stage, but is there any point that we should be concerned? (I assume not, but I can be a worry wart!  )
I bought both Mothers Little Helper and Listen Son and I REALLY like these. I don't think I would sit down and read it page by page, or even show the child the book at all, but it has some great points to bring up for discussion and consideration that I may have otherwise missed.
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Lisa, wife to Tony,
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Jess
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| Posted: July 08 2008 at 3:42pm | IP Logged
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My dd has had one cycle and hasn't had another one yet either. I have very irregular cycles so I am praying that her's become more regular with time.
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God bless,
Jess
+JMJ+
wife to dh('96)
mama to dd(13), dd(11), ds(9), dd(6), and dd (2), and baby girl born Sept 14!
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Barbara C.
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| Posted: July 09 2008 at 10:29pm | IP Logged
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I've been thinking that once my girls start having regular cycles I'm going to have them chart for a few months. I found it really empowering as an adult to really "see" what my body is doing. I think as a teen it would have taken away some of the embarrassment and uncertainty about the whole thing. Of course, I don't remember my mom every talking to me about it; we had the "period" talk in fifth grade. When I did start in ninth, she just said, "Well, you know where the pads are."
Like other have mentioned, at age 5 my daughter has picked up so much just by watching and asking questions about me being pregnant. We've talked about how she has eggs in her body that could make a baby one day WHEN SHE IS MARRIED.  I'm scared to ask about the information that will be passed down from girl to girl without me knowing. 
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LisaR
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| Posted: July 10 2008 at 7:49am | IP Logged
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Lisbet wrote:
| Well, an update here. She had one period and nothing since. We haven't had to deal with the swim issue at least. |
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former swim-teamer here: if she is swimming very frequently, and rigorously, it could keep her periods from occuring. lots of strong exercise, especially coupled with her age, could make fertility sporadic for a time.....
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Lisa
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onemoretracy
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| Posted: July 14 2008 at 11:35am | IP Logged
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Barbara C. wrote:
| I've been thinking that once my girls start having regular cycles I'm going to have them chart for a few months. I found it really empowering as an adult to really "see" what my body is doing. I think as a teen it would have taken away some of the embarrassment and uncertainty about the whole thing.... |
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I think charting is so cool! I have had the same thought that I wish I would have learned as a young lady, before I began to chart as an adult trying to concieve.
Honestly, I am just awed at the beautiful design God has given us. I remember reading a secular book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility and just being blown away at all the the info about my own body that I no idea even existed! I began to respect myself, my body and the gift of fertility. I was not Catholic and still made rotten decisions after that, but it was the beginning of my journey into a pro-life mindset. I soooo wish I had been taught about my body and cycles by someone I loved and trusted as a teen. I do think it is something I will teach my daughters.
However, in a discussion with a friend about charting she was adamant about not teaching charting until a daughter is engaged etc...bc she is believes it would be too much knowledege and lead to a sense of too much empowerment and false security perhaps, a'la birth control.
I do not agree. I think if we are teaching our kids a healthy view of sexuality all along, that the knowledge of the beauty of our cycles is something an older teen could very well handle without leading to the "Hee hee, now I can aviod pregnancy and have pre-marital sex!" stream of thinking."
I would like to know what y'all think. Am I being too naive? Is my friend being too extreme? Neither? Both?
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Tracy
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JodieLyn
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| Posted: July 14 2008 at 2:03pm | IP Logged
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Tracy, I would think it would depend on the girl.. how she'd choose to use the information.. as well as how it's presented and how much is presented etc.
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Jodie, wife to Dave
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MichelleW
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| Posted: July 14 2008 at 9:24pm | IP Logged
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Tracy,
I think that my daughter needs to know some of that information. I was extremely irregular and had lots of highly embarrassing accidents as a kid. I could never use a calendar to predict my next cycle. Charting set me free. I was able to finally predict my cycle and avoid accidents. I have talked to her about it in those terms. I have not addressed "fertility" at all. I have her looking for the clues about when her period will start, that is all.
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Michelle
Mom to 3 (dd 14, ds 15, and ds 16)
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sarahb
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| Posted: July 15 2008 at 10:28am | IP Logged
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I think every girls should know how to chart, not for birth control, but because its an amazing look at how our body works! What an incredible design!
I cant wait to teach my daughter about it. I can't believe I was so ignorant to the workings of my own body until I was already married and had two children!
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stefoodie
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| Posted: June 06 2013 at 2:36pm | IP Logged
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Bumping this, my 11-year-old started a few months ago. I had warned her last year that it was coming, and she's been curious anyway when she sees pads in the closet, etc. (when she was younger I just told her I would tell her what they were for when she got a bit older). so it didn't come as a surprise to her.
So far so good. Our 22-year-old has been going through some problems the past couple of years with her cycles, until she worked with a pro-life doctor and a NaPro specialist, who taught her how to chart her cycles using the Creighton method. she's now a firm believer in charting, and works with the group 1Flesh. turns out she has endometriosis and a NaPro/Creighton-trained OB-Gyn will be performing surgery in August to hopefully correct things.
i taught her charting early on, but i was limited in what i knew. i'm finding out now that so many of her/our friends are going through similar problems (diet and the environment, it looks like). the difference is that several of them are on the Pill because that's what the doctors said would help them. Creighton is just wonderful and it's great that she now knows so much about her own body -- more than i know actually -- that she wrote a chemistry paper and did a presentation on the role of B6 in fertility.
right now though, i've taught the 11-year-old to just chart start and end dates, to establish a baseline. will teach her more details as we go along.
great thread! thanks for the book recommendation (Our Power to Love) i think i'll get that and a couple others from that website, to help out our pro-life group as well.
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stef
mom to five
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4Real Forums : Mothering and Family Life
Topic: Girls on the brink of womanhood
