Oh, Dearest Mother, Sweetest Virgin of Altagracia, our Patroness. You are our Advocate and to you we recommend our needs. You are our Teacher and like disciples we come to learn from the example of your holy life. You are our Mother, and like children, we come to offer you all of the love of our hearts. Receive, dearest Mother, our offerings and listen attentively to our supplications. Amen.



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Lisbet
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Posted: April 03 2008 at 7:32am | IP Logged Quote Lisbet


I really don't think it's either/or! Like I said on my intro over there, it's another lovely front porch to sit and chat on! :)

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Mary G
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Posted: April 03 2008 at 7:37am | IP Logged Quote Mary G

mama251ders wrote:
Okay, I think I missed something or perhaps I am just not as internet savvy as the rest of you. Where is this other forum? I am incredibily curious, but very loyal, so I won't leave! I just want to see what all the hub-bub is about.

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Betsie

Betsie,

Please don't leave but also don't think you can't join over there -- Family-Centered Living forum is a beautiful forum created by Michele Q with many of the same, but also many different names/faces ....

And as Lisa says, it's just another really comfortable porch to sit on and chat and sip tea and rock and know that all are doing their best to live out God's plan ....

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Posted: April 03 2008 at 8:58am | IP Logged Quote CAgirl4God

Guess I was new enough.. I did not notice anything, LOL.

and I like this place! tons of info and good conversations... thanks!
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teachingmyown
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Posted: April 03 2008 at 9:11am | IP Logged Quote teachingmyown

I know it is not either/or in theory. But in reality, I think it is. Each member here must either spend more time on the computer to keep up with two forums, or split the time they already spend between the two, or eliminate one altogether. Things will change here.

I know we were advised to not to try to guess at motives, but...

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Posted: April 03 2008 at 9:14am | IP Logged Quote Martha

Yes, it's not either or for me either.

I look at it this way.
We all have different friends, right?
Sometimes I call friend A for whatever reasons.
Sometimes I call friend B for other reasons.
Sometimes I call friend C constantly.
Other times I lean heavier on friend D.

They are all good people whom I like, enjoy and care for and gain much from. At different season in my life, our friendship changes. I connect with each of them in different ways for different reasons. There are times when I'm too busy in my own house to do much of anything with any of them. There are times when I constantly hang out with all of them or maybe just a few.

How I associate with any one of them at any given time is not in any way a reflection of a lack in any other of the friends.

I view the boards the same way.

Did that make any sense at all?

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Posted: April 03 2008 at 9:26am | IP Logged Quote CAgirl4God

Martha is made perfect sense...
I am part of several boards...all different. only overlapping in content a tiny bit. some not overlapping at all lol.

sometimes I hang at all of them for a while, sometimes not at all. depending on what is going on in my day/week/life.

being part of other boards doesn't diminish the quality of my friendships. just expands my circle of friends...
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Posted: April 03 2008 at 10:03am | IP Logged Quote Matilda

It has come to my attention that my previous comments upset some people who are no longer responding in this forum but are very aware of it. For the sake of clarity and charity, let me interpret myself:

There was a noticeable shift by many in the various online forums and mediums I participated in (blogs, forums, message boards, etc.) Other people I spoke with privately and publicly confirmed that this perception was not just my own. I used this as an opportunity to reevaluate the role of the online world (at large, not specifically) in my life. I divided the world into two groups as I have always tended to do. I saw those who were dedicated to ministries/ apostolates/ businesses some of which were a direct off shoot of the beautiful experiences they were having in their homes and some were born of God given talents that they could use to encourage and inspire the world.

The other group I saw was one that took those same talents and callings but focused them instead on their families first and shared the overflow with the world in what seemed to me to be a very informal way. This is the group that I chose to model myself after because this is what I believe God is calling me to do right now and the path I want to follow. In choosing this path, I am in no way disparaging the other or those who choose to follow it.

I appreciate that some people are more than capable of keeping up conversation in more than one forum. For me, I usually choose forums of different foci to fulfill a variety of needs and frankly, I don’t see much difference between the two forums other than some of the contributors. Perhaps time will tell differently. Although, I suspect that many people will feel as though they have to choose between these two forums simply because everyone’s time and emotional resources are so limited. Perhaps those of you more skilled at keeping up many and various relationships will continue to encourage those of us who tend to gravitate towards fewer, more intimate relationships so that everyone clearly understands that they are not being asked to choose one over the other.


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Posted: April 03 2008 at 1:29pm | IP Logged Quote mary theresa

teachingmyown wrote:
I know it is not either/or in theory. But in reality, I think it is. Each member here must either spend more time on the computer to keep up with two forums, or split the time they already spend between the two, or eliminate one altogether. Things will change here.



Okay, this is the second time in 2 days that I am saying "what Molly said" -- sorry Molly!

I've been a member for almost a year and a half and I do "miss" some of the women who were here when I joined.
I love to learn from all of you as well as all the women who used to, but don't talk much any more. Just sitting at your feet, as it were, and listening to your wisdom is wonderful. It is different a bit now. Not that that is bad at all, but I'm another who prefers things to stay unchanged!

I looked at the other forum and I am SO tempted to join it/ read it too. I don't know . . . But I do think I would have to pick one, because I already need to limit online time. I doubt any of us can double our time on the internet.
I think what Molly said is true. And that is a bit sad.

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Posted: April 03 2008 at 2:35pm | IP Logged Quote Marie

Mary Theresa, I loved what you said about sitting at other's feet and listening to their wisdom. That's how I have felt here too! My 2 children are just slightly older than yours and I love the opportunity to get to know other's who have been there or are still there. I'm not a cradle catholic so this has been a wonderful place for me to learn.
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teachingmyown
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Posted: April 03 2008 at 3:45pm | IP Logged Quote teachingmyown

Mary Theresa- I am just so glad someone agrees with me!

I will say one last thing and then drop it. When I popped over there to look, I was hoping to find something different, something that would make it obvious why a new forum was necessary. Instead, it just looks like a duplication of 4Real. Same general format, topics, etc. So, I am not understanding why I need to go to another forum to discuss Coffee presses, for example.

I just don't get it. Okay, I am done.

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Posted: April 03 2008 at 4:00pm | IP Logged Quote Mari

I think this place is wonderful and has been a blessing to many. May it be ever more so.

My feeling is that maybe some people felt lonely with this forum closed and looked for another place to continue chatting.

Thanks, thanks and more thanks to all who have spent time on this board and to our dedicated moderators.

Blessings to all of us here and there.

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Posted: April 03 2008 at 4:16pm | IP Logged Quote LLMom

I too, have been blessed by this forum. I think some have missed familiar faces who haven't posted for a while but there are a LOT of wise and wonderful women who are here who aren't "in the homeschool movement" but have much to share with us all.

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Posted: April 03 2008 at 5:08pm | IP Logged Quote teachingmyown

teachingmyown wrote:

I know we were advised to not to try to guess at motives, but...


I want to apologize for this statement. My choice of words was careless and, I fear, inflammatory. I didn't mean to question "motives". I was more trying to figure out the reason. That's all.

I have "known" Michele and the many of the others on the new forum for years. I would not dream of insinuating that they have any intentions other than mutual support of Catholic homeschoolers. I am sorry if I came across as bitter or finger-pointing. That is not who I am.

Obviously, I need to step back and think more carefully before posting.

Please forgive me.

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Posted: April 03 2008 at 5:27pm | IP Logged Quote Michaela

Molly

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Posted: April 03 2008 at 5:41pm | IP Logged Quote donnalynn

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Posted: April 03 2008 at 6:59pm | IP Logged Quote NavyMom

I read this board for about 1.5 years before joining. This board, and certain members, helped convince me to give homeschooling a chance. I would not be where I am today without this board. But I understand change and that people move on to different things. I guess the internet is not all that different from the neighborhood. I am happy to know I can go back and look through the archives and I often do get much of my "good info" from old threads here. And maybe now it is time for new members to step up...I am in a different position than I was 2 years ago. Anyway, I do not plan to leave although I may go lurk at the other site from time to time!

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Posted: April 03 2008 at 8:44pm | IP Logged Quote Red Cardigan

teachingmyown wrote:
I know it is not either/or in theory. But in reality, I think it is. Each member here must either spend more time on the computer to keep up with two forums, or split the time they already spend between the two, or eliminate one altogether. Things will change here.

I know we were advised to not to try to guess at motives, but...


Hi, Molly. You may not know me, as I've not participated on this forum since late January, but I wanted to comment here.

I'm confused as to why you thought you had to write an apology for these words. Not only were they honest and heartfelt, but also no one who is participating on this thread accused you of anything negative or "got on your case" for saying this! In fact, it seemed to be appreciated.

So I'd like to ask you point blank: are you being threatened/attacked "behind the scenes" (i.e., in emails or private messages) for having said this? I ask because that's exactly what is happening to a friend of mine who has also shared some honest and heartfelt thoughts on this thread. A group of women whom I will not name have decided that she was talking about them personally and are now harassing her in a way that is making me rather angry; in fact, if they don't cut it out I may take action.

So I'd really like to know if the same tactic has been employed against you or against anyone else on this thread. Bullying is bullying, even online, and this needs to stop.

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Posted: April 03 2008 at 9:16pm | IP Logged Quote CrunchyMom

Hmmm...

I went to the first FCL conference two years ago, and that was part of my introduction that made me find this group (Julia Fogassy spoke, and I was searching for info on her daughter's CGS album).

Anyway, I joined the FCL Yahoo group and quickly gave up keeping up because I just don't care for that format. At the time, I mentioned to her in an e-mail that a forum format would make it easier to search for particular topics, sort through present topics, etc... I don't remember her exact response, but it left me with the impression that they hoped to switch to that format someday, there just wasn't the time/resources/etc... at present to make it happen.

So, my perception is that this is simply the transition of (or addition to)an already active community (too active for me, lol, as a yahoo group) to a different type of forum that is more manageable.

I hope I am not contributing to any sort of contention or debate--that is not my intention at all!! I just thought I would share my gut reaction in hopes that it eased the minds of those for whom this discovery has created some sort of stress. I don't know any of the situations, read blogs often enough, or anything to be in some sort of know--this is just my own feelings. I don't mean to presume to know Michele and those at FCL personally or speak for them or anything of the sort, but my own first thoughts were not that it was anything "personal."



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Posted: April 03 2008 at 10:43pm | IP Logged Quote KC in TX

The boards, in my opinion, does look similar, but the basic philosophy is different. 4Real is at its core a homeschooling message board. Michele's message board is about living life with your family at its core. Do many of the members at Family Centered Living homeschool? Yes, but that isn't the focus. It's an offshoot of her FCL yahoo group and her Pins and Needles board. I think it's a great fit. I will continue to be on this board as well as participating on the other.

I think we need to just step back and relax. Really.   

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Posted: April 03 2008 at 11:52pm | IP Logged Quote Natalia

I should be going to bed but this post has been whirling on my head for a couple of hours now. If I manage to write everything that is on my mind, this might be a long post Bear with me please...

I think the question "What is happening?" is a fair question. Relating it to another message board is not, in my opinion. I think the question stems from a perception: the forum is different. Why is it different? might be a good question to ask ourselves. I think it is a serious question if this community is going to continue serving its purpose: support homeschooling moms in their chosen vocation as wife, mothers and teachers.

So I am going to take the liberty to share my thoughts. I think the board is different for several reasons:

1- Do you remember about 2 years ago when people were beginning to blog? There were several posts expressing concern about the effect of blogs on the forum. People were concern that the discussion and conversations were going to stop happening here because there is only so much computer time. It is difficult to blog AND spend time here. At first, people made the effort to bring the conversation here by posting links to the blogs. The posting was happening on the blogs but the conversation was brought here. Slowly I have seen that effort decrease as people's blogs have taken precedence. The counterpart to that is: if the interesting stuff is being posted on the blogs then the time that we, the readers, have allotted to computer time was likely going to be spent reading blogs. I know that, as of lately, I read more blogs that I read the messages here.

2- At some point you have to stop reading about life and you have to live it. I can read as much as I like about mindful unschooling, being present to my kids, Montessori, Waldorf, etc but, at some point, I have to pry myself off the computer and go do, go implement what I have learned. That is the only way that these boards are effective, if what I read here cause change in my life.I think people realize that and computer time gets less and less.

3- I think that the forum has not been the same since the big Waldorf discussion. I think the fact that the forum,for whatever reason, were suddenly closed left a bad after taste. It feels to me that (and that can be only my perception) that if left some unfinished business.

I think women's relationships are complicated. I don't know why. Maybe our emotions get in the way... I have been in a couple of internet groups and it seems to be a cycle. Relationship get close, something happens and the group then has to reassess its purpose, its goals and more importantly, the relationship among the members. The difference between those other boards and this is that there, the conflict was allowed to be discuss and dealt with. I don't think that the same opportunity was given here.

All of these factors have played a role in my posting and visiting less. Other factors have also played a part but they are more personal issues. Why do I bring this up? Why do I bother in coming back and saying all these things? Because I think communities like this are important. Being a homeschooling mom can be, and I think frequently is, isolating. It is a choice that as common as it is now, it is still not mainstream. We still have to face misunderstandings that make us doubt. Many of us don't have the time for fellowship with other women that stay at home moms that send their kids to school have. In my case, I live in a place where Catholics are a 3% of the population. The majority of Catholics choose to send their kids to school. I have support from Protestant friends but I would be missing out the riches and possibilities of true Catholic Homeschooling if I didn't have this group.

I hope we can recapture the spirit that created this community or, if the need be,create a new identity for it that would accommodate the changing face of the group.

Much love,

Natalia
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